Uncut (Unexpected Book 4)

by Burgoa, Claudia

  “Of course, I’ll call you this time. I love you, my beautiful butterfly.”

  “Love you too, Mattie.”

  “Jessica, how are you?” I hold on to Dad’s hand tightly.

  According to Dad, Jessica checked herself in with the help of a friend. Now she’s allowed visitors and she contacted my father because she wanted to see me first. I’m reserved about this meeting. Not knowing what to expect is killing me. She already looks different. It is the first time that I recall seeing her without makeup, and her brown hair is back. That platinum blonde she wore for years washed away along with the lost eyes.

  “Better. I’m working on . . . so much,” she says. A ghostly smile takes over her lips but doesn’t touch her eyes. “There’s a long way to go, but lately I’ve been thinking so much about Evan, about you. I failed my children, but I think I failed you the most.”

  Her arms cross the flat metal table, and I reach for her hand with my free hand. Her nails are short, her skin isn’t as smooth as I remember, and for the first time I can sense I’m meeting the genuine person.

  “I let your father.” Mom bites her lip as Dad clears his throat. “Martin exploited you, and I didn’t let you meet your father . . . I . . . am sorry for everything.” She sniffs. “There’s so much more I have to reflect on, things that only now are making sense. I’m going to be here for about a year, so during birthdays and the holidays maybe we can exchange cards, presents? I want another chance.”

  “I’d like that, Jessica.”

  There is still a long way to go for her, but I remain silent and listen to what she needs: A support system.

  “We’ll start building a new relationship,” I suggest, hoping that someday we can have a normal mother and daughter bond. “We’ll write each other and see where that takes us.”

  “Thank you, Aggie.” Her shoulders relax. “I want to be there for you, if you ever need me. This time I’ll be what you need—a mother.”

  My heart flutters, but my mind stops it.

  “You want to tell me what else you have been up to?” I point at the outside garden. “There was an exercise group when we arrived. Anything interesting here?”

  Jessica fills me in about the classes she attends: early morning t’ai chi, painting, some sewing—where she sucks—and she also plays bingo every night.

  “I thought bingo only happened in Catholic schools and nursing homes.” She laughs.

  “It does?” I wouldn’t know. There wasn’t any religious education involved in our house, and I had tutors at the studio. Some requirement that I had to complete to be able to act. “How would you know?”

  “I went to Catholic schools all my life, Aggie, but since Martin is an atheist. I-it doesn’t matter.”

  Martin being an atheist doesn’t surprise me, as he only believes in himself. Well, this explains why I never went to a church. My mother being a catholic is unexpected; this is the first time I’ve learned anything about her childhood. Does she have parents? Do they know about us? I want to ask more, but I bite my lip and desist going that route. I have no idea if bombarding her with questions will affect her recovery. I do hope someday we’ll continue this conversation and that she’ll tell me what she was like and what she dreamt about back then.

  “There were nuns,” she suddenly says, and cringes, “at the school. Those urban stories about slamming you with a wooden ruler are real. They’d pull your ear and take you to the principal’s office. I was there daily.” She laughs. “Those days, talking back was a sin and you had to pray ten Hail Marys before heading back to class.”

  She continues talking about her twelve years in Catholic school. Worse than jail, no probation, and only girls in her class. But seems like the penitence didn’t work too well on her. Jessica sounds like James Dean: a rebel without a cause. Did she wear a uniform? I bet that if she did she must have done something extreme to it. Cut the skirt too short, wore the wrong blouse, donned hot pink socks.

  “You’re going to be okay, Jessica.” I squeeze her hand.

  “You too. I’m proud of you, Aggie.” Her words freeze my blood, and my limbs lose any sensation. “After everything, you found a way out and survived. I’ll follow your example; this time I’m not letting anyone pull me back down.”

  I rise from my seat and hug her tight, hoping that it’s true. That I’ll have a mother, and that this time she’ll love me.

  Dad hugs me while we walk through the hallways of the center. He promised Jessica to come by in a week as she wants to talk to him.

  “Jessica was sweet like you are,” Dad says. “That’s what attracted me to her, and Martin was . . . He abused her. I tried to protect her from him, but she couldn’t break the addiction.”

  “Did you love her?”

  “In a way, yes. She wasn’t the love of my life.” He gives me an apologetic shrug. “But I did care a lot about Jessica.” Dad pushes the door open and growls. My eyes adjust to the sunlight and I find why he’s not happy. Matt. “What are you doing here?”

  “Making sure Thea’s okay after visiting her mother,” Matt answers, taking a step forward, and then two backward when Dad gives him his typical I’m going to kill you look.

  I twirl the bangles of my left arm, watching him. “Thank you, it was better than I thought.”

  “I’m glad,” he says, taking my hand and pulling me into a hug. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. This is hard for you and I just wanted you to know that no matter what or where I am, I’m always with you.”

  Closing my eyes I grab onto him. Those words just about killed me. He decided. He’s leaving Seattle, I just know it.

  “Thank you for coming, Mattie.”

  “Always.” He kisses behind my ear. “See you later, Butterfly. Arthur, I’ll see you around.” He salutes Dad and walks away jumping into his old Jeep and waving when he drives by.

  “Ready to go, Thea?” Dad links our arms and we walk to his truck.

  “Did you judge me?” I ask him. He gives me a shrug and starts driving. “You know, for being with two men?”

  “No, they both treated you like a queen. They loved you. It’s strange, yes, but I’ve seen a lot of the so-called normal relationships where there’s no love or respect. Where I’ve witnessed some like the one you had where there’s love, I approve.”

  So much for being in love. My heart thumps inside my hollow chest, reminding me that it’s healing, but a part of it will remain dead for the rest of my natural life. I miss Matt. I miss . . . I miss us.

  Two months later . . .

  Standing by the dance floor, I feel his presence before he speaks. “Where are your vigilantes?” Matt asks, using that raspy voice that sends shivers down my spine. I glance at my date, while watching my brother and my sister-in-law dance. He made it. My heart beats hard and loud, so loud I tune out the band. Adrenaline rushes through my body, as anger and excitement collide inside me. Damn, I have to choose one of those, but it’s hard. I’m upset because he didn’t make it to the ceremony, or to the dinner. But also freaking elated as we haven’t seen each other in two months and one day. Yes. I’ve been counting almost down to the minutes.

  Fuck, the conflict remains inside, though my bones melt at the sight of him. He’s awestruck hot, and part of me wants to rip him out of his clothes. Mr. Armani should forbid Matt from wearing his tuxedos; he looks sinfully gorgeous in them.

  He approaches me somewhat cautiously I notice, assessing me with his head slightly tilted to the side. Probably trying to gauge just how pissed I am. “Sorry I’m late, Butterfly. I’ve been working all day. The pilot thought I wouldn’t fly out and left for dinner . . . Long story short, I barely made it.” His cocky smile appears, flashing that dimple that I love so much. The emotions finally settle, and my complete attention is on this fine specimen of a man. A moment of silence passes between us. It’s like, all of a sudden, there are a million words, yet nothing at all to say. He finally clears his throat. “Do you think they’ll let you dance?”


  I burst out laughing. “Why wouldn’t they let me dance?”

  One of his hands, which had been resting loosely in his pockets, comes up behind my ear, pulling my face toward his. Before I even have a moment to hesitate, he whispers, “Because you’re so much more stunningly beautiful than every other woman on the dance floor.” He pulls back slightly so he can look me in the eye, his penetrating gaze roaming over me. “It’s not fair to all these other women, really.” I take a step back in a futile effort to compose myself. Being that close to Matt after so much time is like being inside a blazing inferno.

  Matt holds out his hand and by instinct I take it. In a matter of seconds he’s leading me through the guests that mingle around the salon. We walk back to the lobby, but he takes a left to the hotel’s pool area. The empty area is illuminated by the moon and is the perfect place to talk.

  But I choose not to assume, because after so many months apart, we might not be as connected as we used to be. “Why are we here, Mattie?”

  “What are you thinking?” he responds with a question. “You’re so quiet, and though anger flashed through your expression, so did happiness and . . . there are way too many emotions going on inside that beautiful mind of yours that I’m fucking confused as to how to act, or what to expect. Your mood is shifting with every breath you take and, I won’t lie, maybe mine isn’t as settled as I expected.”

  I smile. “That’s how I feel too. Confused. Are we . . . what are we? Where are we and what should we expect?”

  He is silent for a minute before he says, “We are Thea and Matt. Two waves that found each other for a second time and hopefully are about to collide with each other.”

  “Sounds good, but are we ready to collide?” Wow, I’m full of questions tonight. When I suggested him to be my date, I didn’t put much thought into the reunion. But now that everything is settled, I can’t find the map of where to go from here. “I want it, to collide. Though, how do we know that it is time for that?”

  “Close your eyes.” He takes my hand, and I stare at him. “Close them,” he repeats, kissing each one shut. He places my hand on his rock-hard chest, his hand on top of mine. I feel the thumping of his heart. “Feel it. It’s beating only for you, waiting for you.”

  My eyes flutter open, finding his soft gaze on me.

  “Even after everything we’ve gone through?” I want the confirmation that he’ll be on board. My heart and my mind know that yes, I want this, and damn it, I’ve been ready to have him back. But overall, this isn’t my decision to take, but our decision to make together. “The two of us?”

  His head bends, as his finger lifts my chin. Our lips are almost touching when I hear someone clearing his throat.

  “Hands off my little sister.” Fuck, my brother had to break this moment.

  Matt releases me and turns his cocky gaze toward my brother. “After you take your paws off my little sister, asshole. What are you two doing here, alone, in the dark?”

  AJ starts laughing and shakes her head. “Let’s go, Mase, leave your sister alone.”

  Mase growls at Matt, but they both wave at us and continue walking toward the hotel.

  Matt claims my hand, leading me back to the party and close to the dance floor. “Dance with me, baby.” He puts his arm around my waist, his hot breath heating my entire body. “Fuck.” He cusses under his breath. “I’ve missed you so fucking much . . . I’ve missed everything about you, your scent, your voice, your body . . . having it pressed against mine at night.”

  My eyes find his. We stare at each other for a few beats. My pulse picks up some crazy speed as his raspy voice speaks what my heart feels too, what my body misses too—him. Though he doesn’t let me say a word, he draws me onto the dance floor. It feels like it’s been eons since we’ve been this close, but our bodies mold to each other instantly. Like missing puzzle pieces.

  “I missed you too,” I say, resting my head on the crook of his neck. Absorbing that musky-wood scent of his. Coming back home, the feeling relaxes me completely. I surrender inside his arms and cherish this precious moment with him. “So much, it’s getting harder to breathe.”

  His arms tighten around me, drawing me in even closer. “Nights are the hardest, Butterfly. They’re when I miss you the most.” His low voice sends another wave of desire through my body. “But also when I lay in bed wondering where we’d be if you hadn’t made me realize that we were just going through the motions. That we were heading toward a dead end.” He couldn’t describe the situation any better. We were. It almost became a vehicle accelerating at maximum velocity without a driver or brakes.

  “So, you’re actually glad we had the time apart?” I bite my lip, chewing his words, assimilating them. Was I glad it happened? No, I was heartbroken we had to live apart in order to remind ourselves how to be together. But not having him close allowed me to think—heal—and to believe there’s something beyond waiting for the two of us.

  “Not glad, but I found the silver lining to it, Butterfly.” He gazes at me lovingly, but hungrily too. That combination only he can pull off, combining tenderness and lust. The playfulness is there, but there’s a maturity to his crystal blues. It’s as if the man I love and know is inside, ready to welcome me, yet, the guy who waits for me is different, seasoned. Ready to take charge and never let go. “How much longer do you need?”

  “Need for what?” I close my eyes, as we start swaying at the pace of Hozier’s “Take Me to Church.”

  “This break. I’m ready to talk.” My eyes flutter open with those words. A silent look passes between us as we absorb the lyrics to the song playing around us. A light smile plays on his lips and I know we’re both thinking about him—the other piece of our hearts. We dance silently, reverently, until the last lyric plays.

  He touches my chest lightly. “This is what matters to me, Thea. Your heart. That sweet, buttery-colorful personality you possess. So the question lingers, Miss Bradley, can we get back together?” His full attention is back on me. His shoulders square, his body stiffens. The tight jaw hardens all his facial features. I absorb the words and play the question several times.

  “Yes. Matt, I want us to be back together again, because I love you fearlessly. That doesn’t mean I don’t have doubts. I’m human. Boundaries. There’s no such thing between us. There are no limits to where or what I’ll do for you, Matt. I’ll follow you everywhere, even to the end of the world.”

  “You’re my forever.” He gazes at me. His face angles so close to mine that our lips are almost touching. “My love for you is as big and deep as the universe itself. There’s no end. The moment I fell in love with you—”

  I cut him off with a hungry kiss. Hot, searing, and full of love. A kiss where we drink each other, fusing our hearts back again. It’s hard and tender, hungry and loving. A surge of moisture flows between my thighs. I need him badly. I’m borderline desperate to have his hands touch my body, to touch every inch of this lean-muscled man with my lips.

  “I need you in my life—for eternity, Thea Bradley.” He claims my lips once more. “Come to my room.”

  I don’t think, only act. We rush through the ballroom toward the elevator and reach his room. It doesn’t take long for him to open the door. His hands hold my hips lifting me and carrying me toward the bed. I tangle my legs around him, grasping his shoulders as our mouths, tongues, and bodies begin to dance. My heart pounds against my chest trying to break through and jump inside Matt’s body. Become one with him. My body is filled with desire. I need him like I need my next breath, like water, like he needs me.

  Matt sets me on the bed and breaks the kiss. His warmth is back.

  I tug off his jacket, tie, and his shirt, ripping off the buttons, quickly uncovering his granite-like torso. Heat builds inside me. My sex clenches with desire. A painful ache between my legs makes me rub myself against him, searching for some release. A fast and hard release.

  Matt peels down the straps of my dress, pulling it down with one swift move
ment. My panties follow suit. There’s not much foreplay tonight. His hands find my bare breasts. They tug and pull my nipples, as Matt’s lips kiss their way down to my already wet sex. My body clenches in response to his light kisses. As I rub myself against his mouth, he stops the sweet movements and uses his tongue to tease me with a fast-paced rhythm that’s driving me to the edge. My body is ready, and my mind is lost in a state of pure pleasure and desire. Bliss.

  “Please,” I moan, arching against his mouth. “Don’t. More. I. Want you inside me. Now.” The words make no sense, but his hands stop their own assault against my nipples, followed by the sound of his zipper being lowered.

  He slides in easily, connecting us.

  “This is perfect,” he mumbles, as he thrusts inside me. “I love you, Agatha. My beautiful butterfly. This is forever. No matter what shit you put me through, I’ll never give up on you, just as I beg that you never give up on me—on our love.”

  Lust shoots through my body as he says some of the sweetest lines he’s ever spoken. I’m at a loss of words, while my heart thumps as hard and as fast as Matt thrusts himself inside me and my hips meet him. We build an inferno between our bodies, both lost in a daze, moaning and whimpering. After a final deep plunge, a big explosion similar to the big bang sends us flying off to the sky.

  Matt embraces me inside a cocoon created by his strong arms. My head rests on his chest. I missed this. Us. Tears spill as my heart settles into this new stage, happy, and hopeful that’s the forever stage.

  “What are you thinking?” He kisses my temple.

  “About us. About what’s . . . next?” I shrug, angling my head, finding his warm eyes staring at me. A smile spreading across his face.

  He brings his lips down to meet mine taking over a tender, sweet kiss filled with love and maybe promises. “Next?” I nod. “Our future. I have a few surprises ready for you. Stick around for an eternity, Butterfly. We’re going to have fun.” He delivers that signature cocky grin with his mischievous wink. And I know I’m home.