Exclusive Access

by Ravenna Tate

  “You’re blessed.”

  “I know.”

  He stared at her for so long she grew uncomfortable, but not because he was silent. It was because he seemed to be weighing his next words, and she suddenly didn’t want to know what he was about to say. “My father had some very uncharitable things to say about us.”

  She swallowed hard again. Julianne knew that Daniel Bannerman had demanded her termination from The Whole Truth five years ago. She also remembered how he had publicly denounced her and the magazine. It came with the territory when you wrote for a rag mag, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t hurt like hell at the time.

  It was also part of the reason she’d written the letter to Kane and badgered The Whole Truth to print the retraction. But to find out Daniel still hated her sent a wave of profound sadness through her.

  “He’s still angry about the piece you wrote, but he’s even angrier with me.”

  “Why?” She suspected she already knew.

  “Because he knows I’m seeing you now.”

  “Did you tell him what I wanted to write at first?”

  “God no. I’d never do that. I told him who you work for now and about the alternate stories we came up with.”

  Thank you. “So why does he object to you seeing me now?”

  “He doesn’t change his mind about people easily, if at all.”

  “Do I have anything to worry about from him, professionally or personally?”

  “No.”

  Then why bring it up? “He obviously upset you a great deal that day he was here.” It was two weeks ago, and the fact he was just bringing it up now told her how much Kane kept to himself. She couldn’t be angry with him for that because she understood it. There were times it was best not to share everything with the entire world.

  “He compared what I’m doing now with you to what happened to me seventeen years ago.”

  “Wow.” She hadn’t been expecting that. “I’m sure you’re not the same person now.”

  “I’m not, and that’s exactly what I told him.”

  “He needs to let it go.”

  “So do I. I only wish I could.” His voice was soft, but full of emotion.

  “Do you mean let it go that your father will never get over it, or do you mean it still bothers you that Ellen used you?”

  “Both.”

  Julianne placed her hands on his face. “Let me help. What can I do?”

  The pain on his face nearly burst her heart. Right now, he looked like a frightened boy who only wanted someone to tell him he was worthy. “Just be who you are, and stay with me.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Kane.” God help me. She was in love with this man. It hit her as suddenly and as hard as a bolt of lightning. She still remembered them, and that’s exactly what the realization felt like. She might as well be on the surface, standing next to a tree that just got hit. She swore she could feel the electricity in the air.

  “Thank you.” He kissed her. “I won’t let you go, you know. You belong with me.”

  She didn’t know what to say. The emotion in his eyes and in his voice unnerved her, so she simply wrapped her arms around him and held him close. Sometimes, that’s all a person really needed.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Two weeks before the wedding, Kane cleared his schedule of everything that couldn’t wait until his return from NorthCentral. There was still plenty to do for the members of Ace’s and Harper’s bridal party. Each of the Weathermen was in the bridal party, and Kane didn’t want to travel back and forth, so he was staying in NorthCentral until after the wedding.

  Julianne had cleared her schedule as well, but Patti had insisted she take along her laptop. Kane took his, too, but he promised her he’d only work when she had to so they could have as much time free of their jobs as possible.

  Transportation between the cities was unrestricted, but with only electric vehicles used underground, it was also slow. A train system connected each of the cities to the others. Kane had arranged a private car for them, and while it wasn’t large, it did prevent them from having to sleep and eat with strangers.

  It would take them approximately thirty hours to reach their destination, but Kane hadn’t wanted to feel like a sardine the entire time. Julianne teased him about it, but he noticed how impressed she was with his ability to secure this car for them. “You can go and find a berth in the general car if you want,” he said, sipping his drink, “but I’m staying here for the journey.”

  She laughed softly. “No, I think I’ll make the sacrifice and act like royalty instead.”

  “I’ve heard you say that before. Is that really how I come across?”

  “No, not really. Well, all right. Most of the time. I’m not used to it, Kane. I come from humble beginnings.”

  He shifted his weight on the seat to face her. “That’s exactly why I enjoy pampering you. Don’t you think you deserve this?”

  “It’s not a question of deserving it. It’s a question of necessity. Your lifestyle is extravagant and elitist.”

  He smiled. “My father and grandfather would have strokes if they heard you say that.”

  “How do you feel about it?”

  He hated it when she nailed him like that, but at the same time, it was part of her charm. She never let him get away with shit, and he loved her for it. “I’m more careful with money than you probably realize.”

  “I know you are, but that’s not what I asked you.”

  He was so in love with this woman, and he hadn’t told her yet. He was afraid to. Not because he wasn’t sure how she felt, or because he was afraid to say the words. Once his father found out, he would be all over it and this time he wouldn’t confine his remarks strictly to his son.

  Kane didn’t give a shit if his father disapproved of Julianne, but he most definitely did care whether any reaction from his parents would hurt her. He hadn’t wanted to tell her what his father had said that afternoon in the apartment, but the words had spilled out. Once the horse was out of the barn, it was damn difficult to get him back inside.

  She was so easy to talk to. He’d never been the kind of man who discussed his feelings with anyone. He’d been taught not to, but Julianne made it damn near impossible for him to keep them inside at all. Kane wasn’t used to that. He’d always considered it a sign of weakness, but also knew that, too, was a holdover from his upbringing.

  Julianne challenged him, and he loved that about her because no other woman had done it. She forced him to see himself from an entirely different angle, and it made him a better person because of it.

  “Kane? Where did you go just now?”

  He blinked a few times and then smiled. “I’m still here. Just digesting everything you said.”

  “And?”

  “And you’re right. My lifestyle is extravagant and elitist. Do you want me to sell the apartment and stop collecting antiques? Should I give up my box seats to the symphony, and sell my loge at the arena?”

  “Now you’re teasing me.”

  He scooted closer and put his arms around her. Thirty hours alone with Julianne in this cramped, but private, passenger compartment of a train. Oh, the decadent things that raced through his mind right now! “I am teasing you. You call the way I live what it is, but you enjoy it, just the same. Don’t tell me you don’t.”

  It was endearing the way her face colored slightly. When she rolled her eyes, he wanted to hold her in his arms and never let her go. “I enjoy it. You’ve got me on that one.”

  “Then let me do this. Allow me the pleasure of seeing your face light up, and watching the emotion in your eyes. You’ve seen the list of charities and organizations each of the Weathermen support. It’s not like we aren’t giving back.”

  “Oh, I agree. I know you’re giving back. All of you. The work you’re doing to find the hackers alone is more than most organizations in existence today will ever do.”

  “See there? I’m not entirely self-serving.”

  “Y
ou’re not self-serving, Kane. I didn’t mean to imply you were. This is simply a lot for me to get used to, that’s all.”

  “Get used to it, Julianne, because I want you in my life.”

  They gazed into each other’s eyes, and the words were right there. All he had to do was let them slip out. He swore he saw the same emotion in her eyes, but then a steward knocked on the door and the spell was broken. Kane had completely forgotten he’d ordered lunch. That’s what this extraordinary woman did to him.

  After they ate and the dishes had been cleared away, Kane asked Julianne if she wanted to explore the train, but she said she’d seen enough of it earlier after they’d first boarded. He and Julianne were staying in one of the apartments in the same building where Ace and Harper lived.

  All of the Weathermen who were coming in from out of town were staying in apartments on the same floor, so while he and Julianne would have some privacy and time alone, Kane knew most of the next two weeks would consist of them spending more time with the other Weathermen than with each other. Because he had her all to himself until the train pulled into the station in NorthCentral, he did not want to waste one second of it.

  He reached into his bag and pulled out a smaller one. Then he folded the table into the compartment in the wall where it fit, leaving the seats and a small area where they could stand. There was a second table that folded out from the wall in this area, much smaller than the main one, but it was just the right size for the bag he placed on it.

  She grinned as she eyed it. “What’s in there?”

  “Our entertainment for the journey.” Kane removed a bottle of lube, a blindfold, leather bondage cuffs, two floggers, and a box of condoms.

  She laughed, but he could see the excitement on her beautiful face. “Are you serious? In here?”

  He slid the lever on the door that would illuminate a discreet Do Not Disturb sign on the other side. Then he made sure again that the door was locked. “Unless this train has some sort of emergency, we won’t be bothered.”

  She glanced toward her left. “The walls aren’t that thick.”

  “Then you’d better be quiet.”

  He advanced toward her, which didn’t take much effort in this small space, and kissed her like he might never have the chance to do it again. He never tired of tasting her. There wasn’t once square inch of her body that his mouth had not sampled, and each time his tongue or lips touched her again, it was as heavenly as the first time. When he released the kiss, he held her gaze as they silently undressed each other.

  They knew this dance well now, but it still sent shivers down his back. She glanced out the window, but he cupped her face gently until her gaze was once more on him. “We’re speeding past the countryside at over seventy miles per hour. They won’t see a damn thing.”

  Once outside the cities, the dwellings were few and far between. They’d been designed so no one had to live isolated from others unless they chose to, but few did. Kane imagined it was because the ones who had done so on the surface had been the hardest hit when the storms became violent and unpredictable. They had fewer resources and less help. Those types of memories didn’t leave a person, and he knew if that had been his fate, he’d choose never to live far from others again.

  But Kane didn’t want to dwell on the days of living on the surface right now. He only wanted to make love to Julianne, his true love. The woman he’d waited his entire life for.

  ****

  Julianne gasped as Kane turned her around and held onto her breasts from behind. “Lean your palms on the window.” She did as he asked, staring out at the farmland racing past them. There were a few homes, but he was right. Even if they happened to be watching the train, they wouldn’t catch more than a quick glimpse of them, and that was only if they also happened to be focused on this particular window.

  When he slipped the blindfold around her head, she moaned softly.“Now you don’t need to worry about the people watching you.”

  She loved the humor in his voice, and the way in which he’d once again seemed to read her thoughts.

  “Place your arms behind your back.”

  She did, and he fit the leather cuffs on her wrists and clipped them together.

  “I’m going to help you turn and kneel on the seat.”

  His hands guided her body to the left, and then down to the bench where she knelt. He placed what felt like a small pillow under her head.

  “Keep your face turned toward me.”

  “I’ve never had sex on a train before.”

  “Neither have I.” Kane wrapped cuffs around her ankles, but instead of clipping them together he told her to spread her legs a bit more, and then she felt tugging as if he was threading something through the rings on the cuffs. “You’re safe, Julianne. I’m attaching the ends of the rope to the furniture that’s bolted to the walls.”

  “Thank you for telling me.”

  “I want this to be fun for you, and it won’t be unless you know that nothing harmful will happen to you.”

  She smiled. He was always so careful with their play, and she appreciated that. It was still new to her, and he was right that it was a lot more fun when she felt safe from the beginning. The first sensation on her body was the mop flogger, brushing over her ass cheeks, thighs, and middle back.

  He always used it to warm up her skin, and she loved the feeling of the soft leather falls against her. It moved her into the right head space for play, and ramped up the anticipation level to crazy heights. Being blindfolded made it even better because she didn’t know what he’d do next.

  She waited, holding her breath after the flogger was gone, and then braced for the next toy, but instead it was Kane’s tongue she felt, licking every square inch of her body. Julianne moaned loudly, writhing against her bonds but knowing she wasn’t going anywhere and loving that fact. This was her favorite thing now before sex, and during it. To be completely under Kane’s control with no clue what he had planned for her.

  He never pushed her limits too far, and she always had a safeword. She hadn’t had to use it yet because he had an instinctive knack for knowing when she’d had enough during play. She’d never known anyone like him, and knew she had found her soul mate. Now she merely needed to summon the courage to tell him that.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Julianne was so close to coming, but Kane kept her there, poised on the edge, as he used first his tongue and then his fingertips to torture her. When he finally stopped, she was breathless and panting. She cried out in pain and pleasure as the dreaded leather paddle with holes in it came down across both ass cheeks. He smacked her pussy and breasts with it a couple of times, and she thought he was going back to her ass, but instead he brushed a feather tickler over her skin.

  “You’re such a damn tease,” she whispered.

  He kissed her, tongue and all. “You love that about me. Admit it.”

  “Yes. Yes, I do. I love that about you.” I love everything about you. I’m in love with you.

  “And the paddle? Do you love that, too?”

  She giggled. It was a familiar conversation by now. “I still have a love-hate relationship with it.”

  The feather tickler was gone as fast as it had appeared, and now he struck her across the ass cheeks with a stiff flogger. She knew this toy well. It was also made of leather, but the falls were thinner and more abundant than the ones on the mop flogger. They were hard and thin as well, and the sensation they produced was similar to being swatted with a few dozen rubber hoses at the same time.

  “How about this one, baby?”

  “I like this one very much.”

  He never used this particular flogger on her breasts because it hurt her too much, even when he was holding back, but he used it on her pussy. That was followed by more from the feather tickler, and it was at that point Julianne slipped into the peaceful, floating state that Kane had told her was called subspace. She called it her “Kane is playing with me and I love it” space.

&nb
sp; She’d researched the term, but all it really boiled down to in her mind was a huge endorphin rush, where every happy thought she’d ever had flooded her mind at once until she wanted to dance, laugh, and cry for joy at the same time. She hated leaving it.

  When Kane finished with the feather tickler for the second time, he teased her with his fingers again until she couldn’t take anymore. Her pussy was soaked now. She knew he could feel it, but he loved it when she begged him, just the same. “Kane, please. Fuck me. I’m so wet for you. I need you inside me.”

  “Oh baby…” He nuzzled her neck and licked the sides of her breasts. “I don’t think you’re quite ready yet.”

  “I am! Please…”

  He slid his dick into her mouth, and her pussy contracted in tiny spasms. He usually warned her before he did that, so the unexpectedness of it sent her arousal through the roof. He pulled out almost as soon as he’d entered, and she cried out in frustration.

  Kane chuckled. “I am loving you like this. You should see yourself right now.” He smacked her ass cheeks gently. “Tied up, blindfolded, your pussy juices running down your thighs, and your skin all flushed. It’s the fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, Julianne.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  Without warning again, Kane slid two warm, wet fingers into her pussy, and then as soon as he removed them, his dick was inside her, fucking her slowly. When he reached underneath to flick her clit, the orgasm that had been building for the past thirty minutes exploded, sending contractions radiating out to her fingers and toes. He never failed to make her come.

  Before it ended, he withdrew and filled her asshole with more lube. She heard him put on a condom, and could barely stay still in her excitement. Kane slid his cock into her ass, gently, as he always did, and Julianne let go and enjoyed the sensations.

  “I love fucking you this way.” His voice was rough and gravelly, and that tone never failed to excite her.