Yesterday he returned to the bookstore like nothing had happened and I didn’t dare ruin his good mood by asking what had caused him to leave in such a hurry.
As soon as I leave the house I reach for my phone to let Jake know that I’m on my way. Before I get a chance to press send I receive a new message from him.
Jake: Are you nearly here? I’m dying to see you. Xx
I grin like an idiot as I read his text. He already sent me one this morning telling me how thankful he was that it was finally Friday. I quickly type out a reply and speed up my walking.
I won’t be long, Jake. On my way xx
Jake: Ok, sorry if I seem bossy but I just seriously can’t wait another minute longer.
God, I can’t wait either, I end up walking so quickly I’m practically jogging. I round the final corner and spot Jake in the distance. He doesn’t notice me because he’s turned the other way and he’s so engrossed in his phone. My own lights up and I know he’s sent me another text.
Jake: You’re close, right?
I can’t help feeling flattered; he seems to be as anxious as I am to see one another again. I decide to stay silent and creep up behind him, reaching up to cover his eyes with my hands.
“I’m very close.” I say softly.
He whirls around and his whole face lights up when he sees me.
“Bethany, come here.” He says playfully as I back away from him, grinning madly because I managed to scare him.
He walks closer towards me, a smirking, arrogant predator who knows it’s only a matter of time before he will pounce on his victim. When his strong hands make a grab for my waist I squeal in delight, trying to outrun him. It’s pretty useless, Jake’s power is far beyond anything that I possess and he’s able to catch me at once.
“Ok, I surrender! I surrender!” I yell.
“Now where’s the fun in that? You should know that I love the thrill of the chase.” He growls into my ear.
My cheeks burn with the intensity of his words and the pounding of my heart is so erratic I’m certain he must be able to hear it.
“What about when the chase is over, what then?”
“Angel, believe me when I tell you that I’ll still want you.”
I flinch away from him I hear him call me that name. The name my father has always used to refer to me.
“What’s wrong? Are you ok?” He takes a step closer towards me with a look of concern on his face.
I take a few deep breaths, attempting to shake off my bewildering reaction.
“I’m sorry, it’s nothing. Just ignore me.”
“I can’t forget it; you looked really scared after I spoke. What did I say that upset you?” He persists, moving even closer into my personal space.
“It’s just… that’s what he calls me. Angel.” I lower my head, not wanting to witness Jake’s expression. I hate to ruin a perfect moment by mentioning my father but my body just wouldn’t let me ignore it. I automatically recoiled away from Jake when I heard him call me that.
“God, I’m so sorry, I had no idea. I’m really sorry, Bethany. I never want to remind you of him.”
“It’s fine. It’s not your fault; I just couldn’t help my reaction.”
“I swear to you that I’ll never make the same mistake again.”
“It’s bizarre, he’s always called me his Angel and yet I’ve always hated him.” I speak so softly I almost dare to hope that Jake didn’t hear me. I don’t want his pity, I just want him.
“I’d do anything to get you out of that house and away from him.” His voice is hard and determined as he tilts my chin upwards so that our eyes meet.
“That’s impossible.” I argue.
“Nothing is impossible.” Our gaze deepens and once again I experience that forceful and magnetic pull towards him. It’s extraordinary and terrifying, I don’t whether to run from it or towards it.
“Every time I say goodbye to you I end up convincing myself that I imagined how beautiful you really are. I question whether that level of beauty really exists and then I see you again and I know that it does. It really does.”
“Jake, I’m not beautiful, not even close.”
“You need to open your eyes and see what I do when I look at you.” His fixation on my features is alluring and yet also unnerving at the same time. No one has ever paid me so much attention before. No one has ever really complimented me before, certainly not to this extent.
His enchanting and incredibly seductive eyes burn with intensity as he continues to stare at me, it’s as though he’s trying to see right into my soul. The connection that I feel to him is so profound and commanding; I couldn’t ignore it even if I wanted to.
He takes one final step closer to me so that we’re standing chest to chest. His hand gently caresses my cheek and I tremble as I feel his fingertips dance across my skin. Of course he notices and I spot the tiny little smirk playing on his lips.
“Enough teasing, just kiss me already.” I’m amazed by my own bluntness; a few weeks ago I never would have been able to imagine asking someone to kiss me.
“You need to be patient, there’s nothing wrong with a little teasing. I hope that you will tease me someday, although you already do with that breathtaking lip biting of yours.” To illustrate his point, he lowers his thumb and gently grazes the pad of it against my bottom lip that I can’t seem to stop from quivering.
“Please.” I don’t know what I’m asking for, half of me wants him to kiss me and the other just wants him to stop with this mind game.
“I don’t think I can wait any longer.” His breath flutters against my moist lips and the anticipation building up inside of me is almost too much to bear. I hold my breath and slowly part my lips, waiting for the magical moment. I continue to wait and when nothing happens I half open my eyes to see what’s stopping him. His own eyes are sparkling with amusement and mirth. He’s enjoying this and I don’t know whether to slap him or demand that he kiss me right this minute.
“Jake?”
“Are you cold?” He asks.
I glare at him when I see another satisfied smirk on his face. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me. Well two can play at that game…
“Maybe, what are you going to do to warm me up?” I lick my awaiting lips and slowly drag my teeth against my plump bottom lip. His mouth falls open and I’m thrilled to know that I’ve successfully captured his attention.
A deep moan escapes from Jake as he abruptly grabs hold of me and lowers his mouth onto mine. As soon as I feel the immense amount of pressure he’s placing on me I kiss him back with the same level of intensity. I know that first kisses are supposed to be slow and gentle but we’ve both done enough teasing to drive the other person crazy and slow and gentle is not what I want right now.
I’m taken by surprise when I feel Jake’s tongue cautiously leave his own mouth and hesitantly glide over my bottom lip. I moan at the exquisite sensation and realise that it’s silently begging me for an entrance.
“Open your mouth for me, baby.” He whispers softly as his thumb gently traces the side of my face, trying to relax me and coax me into submission.
When I do as he asks he gives me his most beautiful smile and it hypnotises me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live without that smile, it’s embedded its way into my heart and I never want exist without it.
I gasp when his tongue finally meets with mine and a guttural moan escapes from Jake’s throat as my own tongue swirls against his. I never knew a single kiss could be so erotic and I start to think about all of the other things I desperately want Jake to do to me. I picture us together in my mind; we’re naked, sweating and breathless as we frantically explore one another’s bodies.
I whimper with disappointment when he suddenly breaks away from me and ends our kiss. I look up at him and have to refrain myself from pleading with him to continue.
“Why did you stop?”
I can’t help but ask him. Why on earth would he end something that
felt so amazing.
“Do you want this, Bethany?”
I’m amazed by the fact he isn’t breathless like I am. His voice is even and composed, it’s as though our incredible kiss hasn’t had any affect on him at all. How can he remain in control when I’m an absolute mess? I immediately feel the absence of his lips and want them more than anything in this world. I’ll do anything to make him kiss me again even if it means I have to be the one to initiate it. I move towards him and tilt my head up, offering myself to him but am taken aback when his hands take hold of my shoulders and gently push me away.
“Jake, what are you doing?”
“I asked you if you want this.” His eyes are fixated on my face. They wander to my lips and I can see how hard this is for him, he’s battling with himself and I can see how badly he wants to continue.
My lips are bruised and tingling from his and I wonder if there’s a visible change in them from before we started making out.
“Yes.” I answer him.
“No, I want to hear you say it. I want to hear you say that you want this and that you want me.” His dark brown eyes look hungry; they are consumed by an undeniable craving for me.
“You want me to say that I want you?” I’m not even sure if I heard him correctly.
“That’s right, say it. Tell me that you want me.” His fists are clenching at his sides and it’s obvious that his restraint is wavering but he’s determined to hear me say this.
I have a choice, I can choose not to give into his demand or I can say whatever the hell he wants and feel his lips against me once more.
There really is only one choice.
“Jake, I want you. I’ve always wanted you; I want you in every single possible way that’s imaginable. If you only knew the things I keep imagining, the things I want you to do to me.” As soon as my words are spoken Jake’s mouth is on top of mine. His lips are ferocious and starving, they crash against my own and his tongue probes my mouth leaving me dizzy and light headed.
“Fuck, tell me. Tell me what you’re imagining.” His voice is commanding and rough, his hands drop to my waist and squeeze me firmly.
“I’m too embarrassed to say but believe me when I tell you that it’s hot and it would make us both feel so good.”
He growls and enters my mouth once more. When his lips lock around my tongue and start to suck my mouth falls open in shock and arousal.
“That’s right, baby. Open your mouth for me.”
God, I love the way that he encourages me and tells me exactly what he wants. His breathing is almost as erratic as my own and I’m amazed by the fact that I’m able to make him feel like this. I’ve never felt anything like this before; I never knew a kiss could be so sensual. Knowing the strong and undeniable affect I have on him makes me feel powerful and yet I know that I would give him anything he demanded right now. He’s the one in control and I’m more than willing to do anything I can to please him.
He nibbles along my bottom lip and causes my stomach to turn upside down. I can’t believe how compliant I’m being with him; I guess it goes to show how much I trust him. I know that he would be the last person on this earth to hurt me and in knowing this I’m more than happy to give myself over to him, my pleasure is in his hands and in return I want to make him feel what I do.
“I’ve never been kissed before.” I tell him, placing my hand on his chest to separate us. I have no idea why I said it or why I interrupted our kiss but it’s like I have no control over my words, I can’t help myself from being honest.
He stops and stares down at me, his smouldering eyes wander over my face, taking in every detail. I’m flustered, rosy cheeked and my lips are still tingling. I wonder what I must look like and if he finds me attractive. Does he like to see what he so clearly does to me?
“Wow, how did I get to be so lucky?” He whispers incredulously.
“I’m the lucky one.” I reply truthfully.
“Bethany, if that was your first kiss then I take it you’ve never…?” He doesn’t finish his sentence but I know what he’s referring to and what he’s asking me.
“I’m a virgin. I’ve never met anybody who I’d want to go that far with.” My virginity used to be something that I was embarrassed about but right now it feels like its something honourable and something to be proud of.
“That’s incredible; you have no idea how much that turns me on.” His hand fists itself in my hair and he drags my lips back towards his.
I can’t believe the idea of me being a virgin is somehow a turn on for him, I thought he would want somebody as experienced as he is but I can’t deny that it’s a huge weight off my mind now that he knows the truth.
“Jake, I need more. Please.” I beg him, curling my fingers in his hair, pulling him even closer into me.
“God, Bethany. I’m so… I… we have to stop.”
“Why?” I whine pathetically.
“Because I can only do this for so long before I’m going to need more.” He answers me honestly, sending multiple shivers down my spine.
“We can do more.” I tease him, pressing my lips against his neck and I’m thrilled when my touch causes him to moan loudly.
“Baby, I’m begging you to stop; you’re going to kill me. If we carry on like this I’m not sure I’m going to be able to stop.”
“Is that such a bad thing?” I ask him seductively. My behaviour is shocking and careless but I feel as though I’ve just had my very first taste of ecstasy and I’m reluctant to part with it.
“Yes. You deserve so much better than a quick fuck. I want to do everything to you, I want to make you scream my name and beg me for more. God, I really do want to fuck you, Bethany but you deserve more and I’m determined to give it to you.”
His words render me speechless and I can’t help but gaze up at him in astonishment.
“Wow.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shock you but my self-control has its limits. I really won’t be able to stop if we continue. Have mercy on me, please.” The agonising look on his face is enough to convince me of his suffering. This really is killing him to stop this.
“Ok.” I finally concede, hating the fact that this has to be over.
“Thank you.” He places a dry kiss on my forehead and strokes his fingers through my tangled hair.
“I bet I look a right mess.” I grumble, trying to detangle my hair with my fingers.
“You look incredible, as always.” He grins at me mischievously.
“What?”
“Its just I love to see you looking like this, it makes me start to picture what you’d look like after…” He doesn’t finish but by the wicked gleam in his eyes I know exactly what he means. He continues to gaze down at me and eventually lowers his forehead to mine; we’re standing so close that we’re both breathing in one another’s air. His warm breath seeps into my mouth and I inhale it greedily.
“I’ll have go get going soon.” I tell him, hating to ruin our perfect moment but at the same time I know I need to prepare him seeing as our evening will soon be over.
“I don’t want you to go.” His arms envelope my waist and pull my body flush against his.
“I know. I wish I could stay a bit longer but it’s been so great being able to talk with you this week. I love my phone, Jake. I’m so grateful to you for buying it for me.”
“There’s really no need to thank me but I agree with you, it’s been wonderful being able to contact you. I just wish I’d thought of it sooner and that I could see you a bit more.”
“How would you be able to when you work?”
“I’d make time. I’ve actually just managed to convince my boss to let me start work late on Friday’s from now. Up until now I’ve been begging him to let me have every Friday night off so I can see you but I knew he wouldn’t let me get away with it forever.”
I still hate the idea of Jake working in a bar but who am I to pass judgement when I’ve never even had a proper job before and I’m flatt
ered that he would rearrange his schedule to accommodate seeing me.
“You’d rather be doing something else?” I ask.
“Of course, I’ve always been interested in architecture and how buildings are assembled, right down to the foundations and structure of them but I wasted so many opportunities that I had in school so I’ve got nobody to blame but myself for the way my life has turned out.” He sighs disappointedly and lowers his head. He looks so defeated, my heart aches for him.
“It’s never too late to start doing what it is you really love. You’re only twenty-two; you have your whole life ahead of you.” I tell him, lifting his chin up to look up at me.
“A part of me feels like I deserve to be in this situation. I ruined all of my chances when I was in education and I never valued myself or my potential. It’s one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made and I have to live with that.”
“Jake, you act like that’s it. There are plenty of opportunities for people who want a second chance at education.”
He shrugs as though it doesn’t matter one way or another but I can see how much this means to him. Jake usually appears to be so confident and secure n himself but right now he looks lost.
“What about you and school? How was it for you?” He asks, tightening his hold around my waist. We’re still standing at the side of the road, its cold outside and I should be freezing but being trapped in his arms is enough to keep me warm forever.
“It was ok. I had a couple of close friends but they often moved onto other people when they realised how controlling my life was at home.”
“So… no boyfriends or anything?” I watch the muscle in his jaw clench in anticipation and I know how much my answer matters to him.
“Never. I was really good friends with a guy in college called Callum but when my father made me leave I lost touch with him. I couldn’t even give him an explanation as to why I left because it all happened to suddenly. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.”
“It sounds like you miss him.” He says angrily, fixing his cold stare on me.
“I do but not in the way that you’re thinking, Callum and I were just friends.”
Always & Forever Page 12
