“I’m so sorry, Bethany.” He whispers, stroking my hair and pulling me towards him.
“It turns out he’s known about us for a long time. He first suspected something when he caught us together in the book store together. He figured out that we were meeting at gran’s house and he even followed me on Monday when I met you. He knows I took money from the till. He knows everything.”
“What did he do?” Jake asks, sounding so sinister. His voice low and threatening, I even have to remind myself that his anger isn’t directed at me.
“He just confronted me at first but then he barricaded me in the bedroom. I tried to escape, I swear I did but I couldn’t get away. He then showed me what he’d done to my bedroom wall.”
“What do you mean? What had he done?”
“He’d covered my wall with paint. Apparently I’m a whore, a bitch and a slut. That’s what he scrawled all over my bedroom wall.”
Jake growls furiously and turns away from me, I can see his jaw is clenched and he’s struggling to control his impending fury.
“Did he hit you?” His voice is low and he’s barely able to control his breathing, it’s so erratic and shallow.
“He knocked me to the ground a couple of times and then he kicked me. He was aiming for my stomach but I somehow managed to turn away from him in time and he kicked my back instead.”
“He did what?” Jake’s eyes narrow, the fury is explosive; it will devour everything in its path.
“He knows about the baby. He found the pregnancy tests. I’m sure that’s why he tried to kick me in the stomach, it was deliberate.” I tell him, knowing it’s the truth. My father’s intention was obvious.
I knew Jake’s reaction wouldn’t be good but I can hardly believe my eyes when he starts tearing about the living room, lashing out at the pieces of furniture. I have to turn away when he pulls the family pictures from the walls, throwing them against any hard surface he can find. The glass shatters and I’m immediately taken back to my bedroom with my father. It’s like a replay of what happened earlier, it’s as though I’m witnessing the destruction my father made all over again. I start yelling and begging him to stop but its like he can’t even hear me, I guess the chaos going on inside his head is too loud.
Carla bursts through the door into the leaving room, her eyes wide and frightened when she takes in the turbulence and torment in Jake.
“What the hell’s going on?” Jake’s mum yells, barging into the room with an enraged look on her face.
“Is it ok? Are you sure? How do you know he didn’t hurt it?” Jake whirls around, striding towards me, taking hold of my hand and squeezing it tight.
It takes me a few seconds to realise he’s referring to the baby.
“I’m fine, we’re both fine. I have no pain or anything.” I reassure him.
“Where is he?” Jake turns to me and grabs hold of my arms, drawing me closer to him.
I close my eyes, I don’t want to see the murderous gleam them.
“Jake, you need to calm down.” Carla warns him.
“Bethany, tell me where he is. Is he still at your house?” He tightens his hold on me and I know there won’t be an end to this until I tell him.
“Yes, he’s still there but I don’t want you to leave me. I don’t want you anywhere near him.”
“Bethany, I love you but I don’t care if you want me to go there or not. You convinced me once before to walk away, you persuaded me to turn my back on the guy who was seconds away from raping you. I did that for you and I went against every single instinct in my body. This time I’m doing things my way, I’m going to kill that son of a bitch for what he’s done to you and for what he tried to do to our baby.”
“Jake, don’t. Please stay here with me, I need you.” I beseech him, imploring him with my tear filled eyes to listen to me.
“Baby, I love you but you can’t ask me to walk away from this. He’s done too much; he’s hurt you too many times. I’m going to put and end to this tonight.” He places a soft kiss on my forehead, keeping his lips there for a long time.
“Please don’t do this.” I whimper, clinging to the front of his shirt.
“I’ll be back soon. I love you.” He kisses me forehead, inhaling deeply before he turns and walks away from me without a backward glance.
He slams the front door behind him and the three of us are left alone with the eerie silence that surrounds us. I collapse onto the chair behind me, feeling weak and exhausted. The only sound that can be heard is the sound of the clock on the mantelpiece beside me. Carla tries to comfort me, even offering to go after Jake but I shake my head. It’s pointless, his mind is made up and if I’m being honest with myself I’ve always known this confrontation would happen between him and my father. It’s always been inevitable and all I can do now is wait, wait to find out if my future with Jake has ended before it’s even begun.
Chapter Twenty nine
Jake
I can’t hear anything over the violent thud of my heartbeat. It’s beating so fast I’m almost certain it will leap right out of my chest. The adrenaline coursing through my veins surges me forward and I have to keep on reminding myself how great it will feel to finally get my hands on that waste of fucking space. If I don’t keep on imagining how great it will feel to break every bone in his body, I swear I’ll turn around and go back to her.
The internal battle continues but I force myself to keep going. I know I won’t rest until I hurt him, until I look him in the eye and come face to face with his fear. How could Bethany ask me to walk away from this? It would be impossible. I don’t want to despise my reflection every time I look in the mirror and I know I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t confront the sick bastard. I used to detest everything about myself and the man I used to be. I’d wake up each morning full of hate, bitterness and resentment, it was a dark time for me after Sarah lost the baby and I’m not about to go back there again. If I don’t do this I’ll go right back to resenting everything I am and everything I stand for.
For years I had to witness my dad hurt my mum, I was just a kid and I had to watch him beat her time and time again, witnessing that much violence at such a young age hardened my heart to any man who lays a single finger on a woman. I won’t tolerate it, I never have and I never will. The fury deep inside of me is escalating, it needs to be unleashed; I’ll go insane if I don’t release some of this anger soon. I can’t carry the weight of it around anymore, it will kill me.
I knew something was wrong the second I saw the missed calls from Carla on my phone. I’ve been making sure I keep my phone on me at all times whilst I’m at work, a habit that I’ve grown used to since I met Bethany. I know the chances of me hearing it aren’t great over the sound of the music in the bar but it’s never really been a problem before tonight. I make a point of checking in with Bethany right before I go into work and that’s why I automatically assumed the worst as soon as Carla told me she had Bethany with her. I cursed myself for leaving her and for accepting that phone call from Ritchie asking me to work.
I swear I actually felt my heart break when I thought she had lost the baby. I know Bethany hasn’t even decided whether she’s going to go ahead with the pregnancy or not but the thought of her going through the trauma of a miscarriage was horrific. I don’t know what comfort I would have been able to offer her; I would have been absolutely inconsolable.
My relief can’t even be described when I found out the phone call wasn’t about the baby. It actually proved to me just how much the welfare of my child means to me. I need to know it’s safe and I can’t lose it. If anything happens to that baby, a piece of me will be destroyed.
I was still working behind the bar when I noticed the missed phone calls from Carla; as soon as I got off the phone with her I was straight out of there. I know I’ll get a right bollocking from Ritchie tomorrow about taking off during my shift but I’m past the point of caring, he can fire me for all I care.
My mind was in
a state of complete and utter turmoil during my journey home. I couldn’t help myself from thinking the worst; as much as it would crucify me to find out she’d been hurt, I knew I had to find out exactly what had happened. The thing is, for a long time now I’ve been haunted by this hideous suspicion that the nature of her father’s feelings for Bethany aren’t normal. I was only in his presence for a couple of minutes several weeks ago in the book store but I just knew there was something really sinister about him and the way that he sees her. I’ve been torturing myself ever since with the possibility that he might one day choose to act on his abnormal, abominable obsession with her. Bethany has sworn to me that he’s never touched her in that way but I’ve still had my doubts, that’s one of the reasons why I’m so desperate to get her out of that house. I want her to know that she can confide in me about anything, she needs to know I won’t turn my back on her no matter what that she tells me.
Every single night I feel sick with the knowledge that she’s under the same roof as him. The immense relief his departure brought me a few weeks ago is the only thing that stopped me from throwing her over my shoulder and dragging her out of that house. I promised myself I’d somehow convince her to come and live with me before he came back home and tonight my wish finally came true.
God, I was so ecstatic earlier when she told me she was prepared to leave home so she can be with me. I know she’s still not certain about what she wants to do with the baby but I figured that as long as I have her living under the same roof as me then the rest we can sort out together. I just know I’ll be able to convince her to have this baby, especially now she’s away from that twisted bastard and his control.
I clench my fists and keep on walking, increasing my speed as I draw closer to her house. I’ve wanted to hurt this piece of shit for a long time and I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m looking forward to it. I want him to know that the pain I’m going to cause him is for her. Its retribution and revenge for everything he’s done to her and for what he tried to do to my baby. Just thinking about him intentionally trying to hurt or even kill my unborn child awakens some animalistic, feral and murderous side of me and all I want to do is make him pay, I want him to suffer the same way he’s made her. I want his blood on my hands, it’s frightening for me to admit that but it’s the truth.
My breathing is ragged, my heart is pounding and I’m quickly being consumed by my own rage, hatred and fury. Every time I consider racing home to console her, I picture her face, my beautiful girl who looked so scared and broken, lost and vulnerable. She’s all of those things and it’s his fault, he’s the one to blame. I’ve hurt a lot people in the past, I’ve beaten some of them until they’re unconscious and I’m not proud of it. Despite all of the violence I’ve taken part in, I’ve never actually wanted to destroy another human being. Only once have I been tormented with that particular desire and I can’t allow myself to think about that night, the night I got there just in time. If I let my mind stray to the pervert I rescued Bethany from and what he was about to do to her before I got there, I really will lose it.
The memory of how I first found her tonight will forever be engraved in my memory. She was curled up on our old armchair and she couldn’t stop shaking. I convinced myself during those first initial moments that I’d been right all along about her father. I thought it had actually happened, I really thought he’d hurt her in a way a father never should and it sliced my soul to pieces.
I’m almost at her house now; I’ll be walking through her front door in a matter of minutes. When I walk into that house I need to be focused. I can’t even permit myself to think about her, if I do it will enable him to see my weakness and that weakness is Bethany. When confronting an enemy you have to make sure you conceal everything that’s personal to you from him. I can’t give him any authority over me, I have to remain cold and heartless.
I’m now on the same road as Bethany’s house and I can see it in the distance. I pause, trying to gain some control over my breathing and reach for my phone. I just know my mind won’t settle until I know she’s ok. She needs to get checked out and I have to know if the baby is alright. I dial Carla’s number and patiently wait for her to answer; I hope she’s still with Bethany and taking good care of her.
“Jake, where are you? Please come back, I don’t want you to do anything stupid.” Carla pleads with me, answering my call right away.
“I promise I’ll be home soon, ok? Listen, right now I need you to do something for me, I want you to take Bethany to the hospital. I need her to get checked out and we have to know if the baby really is ok.”
I can hear Carla muttering something to Bethany, asking her how she feels about visiting the hospital.
“Jake, she said she’s fine, she doesn’t need a check up.”
“She’s going. I don’t care what she says, Carla. I’d take her myself but I have to take care of this first. If I go with her they might automatically assume that I was the one who hurt her and the last thing we need is the police and social services getting involved once they know she’s pregnant.”
“Why can’t you take her when you get back?” Carla asks.
“Because I don’t know how long I’m going to be. I’m not going to take any chances, not after what happened to Sarah. I need to know she’s ok, Carla. Please do this for me?” I beg her.
“Fine, I’ll do it but what should I tell them?”
“Tell them the truth. Tell them that her father hurt her and she’s pregnant. Please just get her checked out, I need you to do this for me.” I sigh impatiently, beginning to lose my patience.
I’m now standing right outside of Bethany’s house and the fact that he’s probably still in there is really fucking with my head, I’m struggling to control the overwhelming urge I have to barge in there and tear his damn head off.
“Ok, I’ll take her now, be careful, Jake.” She warns me, hanging up the phone.
I breathe a sigh of relief; at least I know she’s on her way to hospital, leaving me free to take care of the bastards indoors. I tread silently as I make my way down the driveway to the front door, grateful find it unlocked. The house appears to be empty and there’s no sound coming from any of the rooms. I decide to search every one just to make sure, certain I’ll find him sooner or later. I walk through the living room and into the kitchen; glancing at the countertop where Bethany and I had sex only last night. I still feel really guilty over taking her like that, especially in such an aggressive and domineering manner. Although… I can’t entirely regret my actions, how could I want to erase something that felt so damn incredible?
I decide to investigate upstairs when I realise there’s no sign of him down here. The first door I try upstairs is the bathroom; there are only three rooms up here so I know I’ll soon come across Bethany’s. The second door I try is her parent’s bedroom and I find it empty. That means there’s only one left and that’s Bethany’s.
Only darkness greets me when I open the third and final door. I switch on the bedroom light and gape in astonishment at the horrific sight before me. The entire room has been trashed, all of her furniture has been broken or tipped over, her clothes are scattered across the floor. The whole place is wrecked. My eyes are instantly drawn to the wall in front of me where I get to see for myself the vile and disgusting words he used to describe his own daughter and the girl I love. I have to force myself to look away, unable to control the rage whirling around inside my head, the rage that’s screaming at me to destroy the man who did this.
I walk over to her bed and sit down, gazing at the floor whilst resting my elbows on my knees. I cup my hands around my nose and mouth whilst I consider what my next move should be. The sound of the bedroom door opening causes me to snap my head back up sharply.
It’s him.
I’d recognise him anywhere; his face has been burned into my memory since I saw him that day in the book store.
“Well, well, well. I was wondering when you were going to turn up.” He
says calmly, chuckling to himself.
He looks so pleased with himself and so unapologetic, I don’t even think twice about what I do next. I jump up, stride across the room towards him and land a ferocious, sinister blow right against his jaw. The crack it makes pierces the silence and I watch him fall to the ground in satisfaction. My fist is throbbing but it was worthy it to see the way he went down, this is going to be too fucking easy. His lifeless body remains still and his eyes are closed. I punched him with so much force and speed; I’m beginning to think I’ve knocked him out straight away.
“Get the fuck up.” I say menacingly, kicking him in the ribs.
He clutches his stomach, slowly prising his closed eyes open. He seems dazed and disorientated; I can tell I’ve completely floored him. No way was he expecting a blow to the face like that.
“What the hell?” He mumbles, bewildered and unbalanced.
“I told you to stand up!” I sneer, wanting him on his feet. Beating a weak and defenceless man isn’t my style, I want him standing.
“If you’re going to hurt me just go on and get it over with.” He murmurs weakly, spitting blood onto the carpet.
“Oh, I intend to hurt you but I want you on your feet, just for the satisfaction of knocking you to the floor again. That’s what you did to her, right?” I look down at him; my fists are clenched and ready to strike him again the minute he stands.
When he refuses to comply, I grab him by the shirt collar and force him to stand. I land another blinding punch to the side of his face and he’s flat on his back again within seconds.
“Is that all you got?” He croaks, taunting me. He’s putting on a good show but its obvious how much pain he’s in.
“You thought I’d let you get away with it? You actually thought I’d let you get away with hurting her? You obviously don’t know me because if you did you wouldn’t have touched a single hair on her head.” I pause, trying to ease some of the tension in my shoulders, pacing back and forth like a caged in lion. “You deliberately tried to hurt my baby, you wanted to kill it and for that I want to kill you. Do you know how tempted I am to finish you for good? It would be so easy for me to end this, to bring an end to all the damage you’ve caused and all the times you’ve hurt her.”
Always & Forever Page 58
