I place my foot over his throat and press down; he instantly starts to struggle for breath, grabbing hold of my Timberland as he tries to release the pressure on his throat. I don’t relent and press a little harder; his complexion starts to change as the blood rushes to his face. It’s perversely gratifying for me to see him writhe and squirm, knowing the misery he’s inflicted upon my angel her whole life.
I can tell he’s making an attempt to say something to me. I ease up on the pressure I’ve been exerting to his oesophagus, wondering if he’s about to start pleading for his life already. He gasps for air and clutches at his throat; he’s more foolish than I first believed him to be because he actually smiles at me. I notice his poisonous smirk and it makes my blood boil. My fist smashes into his face and I hear a definitive, violent crack as the bones in his nose shatter.
“Is that all you got? I thought you said you cared about her.” He jeers with a malicious grin on his face.
I grab him by the collar and force him into a kneeling position. One swift knee to his jaw causes him to fall flat on his back again. I have no qualms about beating him until he’s unconscious, I’ll only stop when he apologises and when he swears to me that he will keep away from her for the rest of her life.
I stand over him, my fists colliding with his face over and over again, relentless in their thirst for vengeance. He seems to be dipping in and out of consciousness but I’m nowhere near through with him.
“She’s mine and you will never, ever hurt her again!” I roar, unable to know if he can even understand what I’m saying. Regardless, I’m hoping the damage I cause him will be enough for him to interpret my message. Stay. Away. From. Her.
I’m abruptly startled by the sound of a piercing scream from the doorway. I look up and come face to face with a middle aged woman, the terror on her face forces me to stop my savage onslaught. I recognise that expression, it’s the same one I see on Bethany’s face all the time, an intense fear mixed with a sweet vulnerability that pulls at my heart strings like nothing else. I never want to see that look again.
There’s no doubt in my mind that this woman is Bethany’s mum and I really don’t want to frighten her anymore than I already have done, I step away from her husband with both of my hands held up in front of me, a sign of surrender and that I don’t mean her any harm.
“Arthur!” She screams loudly, her hand flying to her mouth. She hurries over towards him, kneeling down beside him as she takes hold of his hand.
“Ellen, help me.” He croaks, begging her to stop this.
Now that she’s here I know I can’t carry on. As much as I’d love to finish what I just started, I can’t put her through it. I’d have to drag her out of the room to get her away from him and I’m sure she’d pound against the door to get back in if she could hear what I was doing to him. She looked ghastly when I first saw her and I remember the devastating news Bethany told me about her gran tonight. I won’t be the one to put this lady through anymore heartache. I’ve pretty much delivered my message to him and he knows not to go near Bethany ever again. I’m dying to get back to her and need to know how it went at the hospital.
I decide to leave, turning away from them as I head for the door. The sound of her sobbing forces me to hesitate, I slowly walk over to her and notice that she’s visibly trembling, obviously petrified of me.
“Please don’t be scared, I promise you I have no intention of hurting you.” I use my gentlest voice. It’s the one I reserve for Bethany, the one which soothes and comforts her when she’s afraid.
“Who are you?” She cowers away from me, shaking and terrified.
“I’m Jake. I’m in love with your daughter and I’m the one who’s going to be taking care of her from now on. Please don’t worry about her; I assure you she’s safe.”
“Bethany? Where is she? What do you mean? Tell me where she is!” She demands, almost hysterical.
“She’s at the hospital. She went with my sister to get checked out; she’s pregnant with my baby.” I pause, giving her some time to digest that huge amount of information. “The reason I hurt your husband tonight is because he hurt Bethany when she came back home. He beat her without mercy or leniency and he also knew she was pregnant when he deliberately tried to kick her in the stomach. I came here to give him a taste of his own medicine and to tell him to keep away. She’ll be staying with me from now on, I love her and I’ll keep her safe. She won’t be returning.”
“Bethany’s pregnant?” She mutters disbelievingly, staring into space.
“Look, I know you don’t know me but Bethany is the only thing that matters to me in this world. She loves you and wants to protect you; if you’re scared to stay here then you’re welcome to leave with me now.”
I can hardly believe the words coming out of my mouth; did I really just offer to take her back with me? That was not part of the plan.
“I can’t leave him.” She shakes her head vehemently, gazing down at the bloody mess on the floor.
I don’t understand her loyalty to him and it infuriates me that she’s choosing him over her own daughter.
“Take a look at the wall right in front of you.” My voice is calm and composed. It’s a complete contrast to the bloodthirsty, ruthless fury that’s still coursing through my veins. “That’s what your husband did, he also trashed the bedroom. I have nothing else to say to you if you really want to stay with a man who’s capable of doing such a thing to your one and only daughter.”
I turn my back on her, resolute and determined. I really need to get out of here.
“Wait! Please tell her that I love her and I’m sorry.” Her eyes pool with unshed tears, her face contorted by distress and despair.
“I promise I’ll tell her. Before I go I just want you to know that I’m really sorry for your loss. Your mum was a wonderful lady and I know Bethany will miss her a great deal.”
“She was.” She whispers as her tears begin to fall.
“There’s also one more thing… I wish you didn’t have to be the one to pass the message on but when he eventually comes round I need you tell him that if he comes anywhere near Bethany again I really will kill him. That’s not a threat, it’s a promise.”
I narrow my eyes at the monster she refuses to leave. He’s completely out of it, unconscious and unmoving. I still don’t feel anything. No remorse, no regret. I’m numb. My heart is cold.
I hurry down the stairs and close the front door behind me. I accidentally step on something as I’m walking down the driveway and when I crouch down to see what it is I notice its Bethany’s phone. She must have dropped during her hasty exit and I realise that’s why she didn’t call me in the first place and had to come to my house. Thank God she remembered her way there, I can’t bring myself to think about her alone on the streets in the dark all night.
It’s been an hour since I last phoned Carla and told her to take Bethany to the hospital so they must have been seen by now. I reach for my phone and dial my sister’s number, relieved when she answers straight away.
“Jake, are you alright?” She asks me anxiously.
“I’m fine. Have you been to the hospital? Is she ok?”
“She’s fine, Jake. They gave her a scan to make sure and everything’s fine.”
I exhale loudly, coming to a standstill. I let my head fall back as I gaze up at the sky full of stars, mumbling a prayer of thanks.
“Thank God.”
“So are you coming home? We’re on our way back there now, we got a taxi and Bethany wants to know where you are.”
“I’m on my way; tell her I’ll see her soon.”
“Ok, I’ll tell her.”
“Carla? I just want to thank you for taking care of her; you don’t know how much it means to me.”
“I do know and there’s no need to thank me.” She says before ending the call.
I realise the whole purpose of my existence has changed since I met Bethany. Before I knew her I was nothing. I was an insignificant,
inconsequential individual who despised himself, his life and the mistakes I ad made. Since I’ve been with her I feel as though I’ve finally found my purpose, she completes me in a way I never thought was possible and she makes me feel whole. The love I have for her is intense; it’s all-consuming and intoxicating. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to admit that she’s become my addiction; I know I wouldn’t be able to go a single day without her in my life.
Our time together so far has been crazy. Its’ been an uncontrollable, unpredictable white-knuckle ride. We’ve survived everything that’s been thrown at us and dealt with the consequences of our love for one another. I smile to myself, thankful that the insurmountable tension is finally starting to leave my body.
I quicken my pace, wanting to get back. I just want to hold her in my arms and go to sleep with her in my bed. I want to wake up tomorrow morning with her beside me and bring her breakfast in bed. I want everything.
I’m so deep in thought I almost walk right past it, the place where we first met just nine short weeks ago. I still remember the first moment I saw her, she took my breath away and I just knew I had to see her again. I instinctively knew that she was special, I knew she would be important to me. What I didn’t know then was she would become my entire world.
I don’t believe in happy endings, I know we’ll have our fair share of problems. With a relationship as passionate and as volatile as ours, there’s bound to be some turbulence. I’m not expecting it to be a walk in the park, nothing that matters comes easy and I’m more than willing to fight for what I want.
If I have Bethany by my side I know I can handle anything. She’s my future, my hope and my purpose. I was going nowhere; I had no direction, no belief in myself and no faith about anything. One night changed everything for me and that was the night I met her. Nothing will ever be the same for me again and I accepted that a long time ago. I don’t know what awaits us but so long as we face it together I know we’ll be ok… always and forever.
Chapter Thirty
Sarah
I’ve heard of girls being gullible and naive before but she was something else! She’s so pathetic, I almost pity her. I can’t help but smile when I remember the excellent performance I put on yesterday. She actually bought all the lies I told her and I even got her to start feeling sorry for me! I’ve always known I’m a pretty good liar but I did take myself by surprise with how well I played it, making sure I came across as vulnerable and full of remorse for my actions after the last time I saw her. I swear I should receive an Oscar for the show I put on for her, it was hilarious. It couldn’t have gone more perfect.
It really wasn’t that hard for me to find her; all I had to do was follow Jake one night. At first I thought the house they continued to meet at was hers, I only figured out the truth when I watched him walk her back home every night. I then realised they were meeting in secret and using the house I first thought was hers as a place to go. I can’t bring myself to think about what they get up to in there, it makes my stomach churn and my heart break with jealousy.
I wonder if he does to her all the things he used to do to me. Does he fist his hand in her hair when she takes him in her mouth? Does he tell her exactly how he wants her to move when she’s on top of him? Does he ask her to make herself come whilst he watches? The thing I struggle with the most is the fact that he’s taken her virginity. I used to cherish the idea of being the only virgin Jake had been with, it felt special and it made it all the more beautiful for me to know he didn’t do that with just anyone. I wanted to be the only one. I bet she doesn’t know he was my first, no way would Jake tell her something like that. The stuck up little princess will think she knows everything. Believe me, she doesn’t.
I continued to watch her once I found out where she actually lived. Her social life is pathetic, only leaving the house to go to this crummy little book store and the house where she meets with Jake. I noticed that she’s always alone when she goes to the book store and it’s the same thing when she leaves, that’s when I started to execute my plan. I thought the best way to catch her on her own was to ‘accidentally’ bump into her one day. I knew I had to look completely different, I needed to make myself appear day desolate, fragile and forlorn. I needed to make her feel sorry for me, I need her sympathy.
For days I practised what I was going to say, I knew that if I messed this up I wouldn’t get another chance. I had to put on a persuasive, emotional performance or she would go straight back to Jake and tell him I’d tried to fool her, this would push me even further away from him and that’s the last thing I want. It turns out I played it just right, I really am a better actress than I give myself credit for. I couldn’t allow her to see me as a threat; I know I won’t be able to cause any real damage or destruction between them unless I force her guard to come down.
I still ache for Jake; I miss him every second of every minute of every day. I long to hear his voice, feel his touch and kiss his lips. If I thought for one second that trying to seduce him would work then I’d do it. He used to respond to me so well, all I had to do was put on a little lipstick and a pair of heels. Red lipstick would drive him crazy, so many nights I’d return home to see it smudged all over my face after we had spent the entire night with each other. We used to be so great together; our sex life was fierce, passionate, brutal and scorching hot. I loved everything about it and so did he. Chemistry like that just doesn’t disappear and I know if I could only get Jake alone I’d be able to remind him how amazing we can be.
I know Jake’s been with his fair share of women but I’m sure he didn’t have the same connection with them that we had. There’s always been a pattern to Jake’s sexual partners, he would usually only sleep with them once and that would be it. It was different with us, we were in a relationship and when we were together he couldn’t get enough of me. I can’t even begin to name the amount of places we did it; both of us were adventurous and experimental, always wanting to find new ways to spice things up.
Things changed as soon as I told him I was pregnant. It’s like his desire for me just disappeared overnight and that’s when I started to look elsewhere for the attention I was desperately craving from him. It was the biggest mistake of my life; I lost everything and regret my wrong decision every single day.
I’ve made a vow to myself to recreate and remind Jake of the connection we once shared. We were going to have a baby together and memories like that won’t just go away, they can’t be erased. It’s something she couldn’t possibly understand, she doesn’t know what its like to carry his baby inside of her and know that life was the one you had made together.
I know that if I want to get close to Jake again I really need to come between them; I have to make him remember how incredible things can be between us. I need to force him to remember the bond we once shared, it’s the only way I can work my way back into Jake’s heart. I miss my wonderful boy. I want him back and I’m determined that nothing and no one will stand in my way. When I want something I make damn sure I get it.
I smile at my reflection in my bedroom mirror, admiring the sleekness of my hair and the sparkle in my blue eyes. The one thing I do have confidence in is my looks; my long blonde hair, piercing eyes and elegantly slender figure can attract the attention of any man. It’s what I first used to get Jake and I can win him over again. Once my plan is in motion he’ll soon tire of that mousy little girl he’s fooled himself into believing he loves.
I can hardly sit still I’m so excited. This may take some time but I know that all good things come to those who wait; I must learn to be patient. I know what I want and all I want is Jake. Nothing and no one is going to stand in my way. If they do… well, they might just get hurt. Bethany better watch her back, I’m coming for her and will destroy her perfect little fairytale she’s trying to write for herself. There will be no happy ending to their story. I’ll see to that.
Arthur
“Have you told her?” I bark into the phone, gripping it tightly
in my hand.
“I haven’t been able to find the right time to break it to her but I will, Arthur. I promise you that. I’m waiting for the right time; I can’t just spring something like this on her. It will change her life forever.”
“Tammy, I’m running out of patience! If you won’t tell her then I will!”
“How can you be the one to tell her? She has no idea who you are. I’m her mother; let me do this in my own time and in my own way. Please?”
I sigh in frustration, utterly exasperated and enraged by the sheer incompetence of this woman, by the inadequacy of all women. Why the hell is this taking so long? I’m sick of hearing her excuses; if she doesn’t break the news to her soon I’m going to end up doing something I really should regret but probably won’t.
“Fine. I’ll give you two more days to break it to her and that’s my absolute deadline, do you understand?”
“Yes, Arthur. It’s just… I don’t understand why you want to do this now? Is it really worth dredging up the past after all these years?” She asks me fearfully.
“For years you’ve wanted her to know the truth and now that I agree with you and want to tell her, you’ve gone and change your mind!” I shout down the phone, battling with the surge in my anger and vexation.
I give up after a couple more minutes of tiresome conversation. I have zero interest in making small talk with her and quickly make my excuses why I have to go before hanging up. I look down at the crumpled photo in my hand, the one I’d inadvertently scrunched into a little ball during my phone call. I disentangle the picture, gazing at the face of my angel as I rub my forehead, trying to ease some of the tension that’s mounting. My body is weary and exhausted; I haven’t been able to get a decent night sleep since the night I lost her. Since the night she left.
Always & Forever Page 59
