“Did you say her name was Bethany?” She asks, her face turning pale, she’s as white as a sheet.
“That’s right.” I say, glancing over towards the counter where Tammy is next in line.
I need this conversation to be over with by the time she gets back. I know she won’t approve of with me using her daughter like this; she might even try and put a stop to it altogether.
“What does she look like?” She trembles, wringing her hands together.
“I’ve got a photo.”
I reach in my back pocket for the scrunched up picture. I can’t help being curious, wondering why she’s interested all of a sudden. My scheme meant something to her as soon as I mentioned Bethany’s name. She snatches the three year old photograph from me and I frown at her, trying to figure out what the connection between them might be.
“It’s her.” She murmurs quietly, her eyes still fixed on the photo.
“I’m sorry? Do you know my daughter?”
“Forget I said anything.”
“Look, all I’m really bothered about is if you’re prepared to do this, are you interested or not?” I say impatiently.
“Oh, I’ll do it. I’d do this for nothing; you wouldn’t even have to pay me.”
“What changed your mind?” I asked, taking the photo from her and placing it safely in my wallet.
“Let’s just say the guy who’s with your daughter used to be mine.”
I laugh softly, this is just too perfect. I couldn’t have scripted this any better.
“Now that’s something I didn’t know.”
“He was going to be the father of my baby.”
“You’re not pregnant?”
“No, I miscarried and that’s the only reason we’re not together right now. That little bitch stole him from me and I swore I’d make her pay for it. I want him back; I won’t rest until we’re together again.”
“Well, he certainly hasn’t learned his lesson; he’s got Bethany pregnant now.”
I clench my teeth in anger; just thinking about him touching her consumes me with rage.
“She’s pregnant?” She whispers, looking faint and utterly devastated. Her hand covers her mouth and her eyes fill with unshed tears.
“Look, forget the hysterics. I need to know if you’re still willing to do this. We can sort out the formalities later; all I want from you today is a yes or no answer.”
I shouldn’t have mentioned anything about the pregnancy; she looks like she’s going to pass out now any minute now that I’ve told her about the fetus.
“Yes.” She whispers despondently, a shadow of the girl I first encountered when she came in.
“Good.” I smile at her, knowing this little arrangement between us could turn out to be more successful than I anticipated. Not only does she have a history with the boy, she’s clearly still hopelessly in love with him. I can already predict the damage I’ll cause by propelling her into the midst of their relationship. I know it will bring heartache and misery into my young daughter’s life. Misery that I plan to control every step of the way…
Chapter Thirty One
Bethany
I was absolutely terrified when Jake left me to go in search of my father that night. I’d already witnessed first hand what Jake’s temper could be like and I wasn’t sure if he’d be able to find the strength and determination to walk away from the man who had hurt me for so long. I then had to contend with the phone call Jake made to Carla, insisting that she take me to the hospital so I could get checked over. I didn’t really see the point in going; I told him I was fine. I could feel that I was going to get a rather large bruise on my cheekbone but besides that, I knew I was ok.
After getting off the phone with Jake, Carla convinced me that going to the hospital was the right thing to do and she phoned a taxi for us. I don’t remember much of the journey; I was in such a daze and still in shock over everything that had happened. I think Carla tried to engage me in some sort of conversation but I just couldn’t focus on what she was saying, I felt like I was in a dream and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t wake up from it.
My mind kept on racing with thoughts of Jake being arrested, of the police handcuffing him and putting him in the back of a police car. I imagined going to visit him in prison and how impossible things would be for me if I were to end up all alone and pregnant. I chastised myself for letting him go, wondering if he would be able to control his rage without me there to calm him down. Jake is so protective over the people he cares for and he’s made it clear on plenty of occasions that he cares for no one like he does me.
I was seen by a doctor fairly quickly once we arrived at the hospital. I explained that I was around six weeks pregnant and that I wanted to make sure the baby was ok after what had happened to me. When the nurses tried to extract some more information from me with regards to my bruises and my swollen face, I told them the truth. I knew I didn’t want to press charges; I didn’t want to go over and over it again with the police and then risk it going to court. All I wanted to do was put the whole thing behind me and forget about the monster I left behind. The professionals at the hospital seemed reluctant to let it go but eventually had to accept my decision when they knew I wasn’t going to tell them anything more about it.
I was given an ice pack for my face and was then hurried in for my first scan. They placed the cool gel over my stomach and then showed me the tiny little thing on the monitor. It was so tiny; it looked like a little peanut. I couldn’t hear its heart beating because it’s still too early in the pregnancy but I got to see it flickering on the screen. It was so tiny and so fragile, the idea that my father could have caused this tiny, precious and beautiful little baby any harm made my blood boil.
Once they assured me that the baby was absolutely fine, I was free to go home and we were on our way back in another taxi when Jake phoned Carla to find out how we got on at the hospital. I listened in on their conversation, delighting in the comfort his voice brought me even down the end of the phone. The relief I felt knowing I would see him soon was immense, I needed to feel his arms around and I wanted to feel safe.
I remember the Artful Dodger’s ‘Twentyfourseven’ was playing on the radio; it’s a really old R&B song that I used to love when I was younger and it brought back a ton of memories for me, memories from my childhood, my home and even gran. I couldn’t prise my eyes away from the window, watching the night-time traffic whiz by us. It was the first night I’d spent away from home and I was so scared. I had no idea what the future would hold, I still didn’t know what I was going to do about the baby and then there was the news of gran’s death to deal with… how was I going to live without her? How would I cope and how had it happened? The agonising part was I knew I’d probably never get to find out the answer to my question.
The radio switched to ‘Once Around The Block’ by Badly Drawn Boy and I smiled, remembering the old music video I used to watch on TV. It involves a young couple who accidentally get stuck together because of their braces when they kiss. I used to find it hilarious and I hadn’t heard the song being played in years. Listening to it in the taxi that night brought with it so much nostalgia and familiarity, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I felt like I was nearing the end of something whilst being at the start of something new. My emotions were all over the place, all jumbled up and complex. I just needed someone to make sense of everything for me.
Jake was already outside his house and waiting for us when our taxi pulled up. He flung the door open, practically dragging me out of the vehicle and into his arms. He showered me with kisses, squeezing me so tight.
“Are you ok?” He asked me, his voice was unsteady and I could still see the fear in his eyes.
“I’m fine and so is the baby.” I replied, smiling weakly.
He pulled me against him, pressing his lips against my forehead.
“Thank God you’re both ok. That’s all that matters.” He pulled me against him, pressing his lips a
gainst my forehead. His affection quickly transformed into anger when he accidentally brushed his finger over the swelling on my face.
“It’s ok, Jake. It looks worse than it is.” I said, turning my face away from him.
“It’s not fucking ok. It looks really painful, are you sure you’re alright? Didn’t the hospital give you anything for the pain?” He continued to fire questions at me, gently stroking his thumb over the angry bruise on my cheek. His touch was so soft it felt like a feather was against my skin.
“It hurts but I really am ok. The nurses at the hospital gave me an ice pack for the swelling.”
“Well it obviously didn’t work!” Jake yelled bitterly.
By this time Carla had already paid the taxi driver and was starting to make her way inside. I grabbed hold her hand as she walked by us, knowing I had to say something to her.
“Carla, thank you. Thank you for everything.” I told her sincerely.
“It’s no problem, Bethany. I’m here for the both of you, anytime you need me.” She squeezed my hand before going on inside.
“Thanks, Sis.” Jake said before she closed the front door behind her to give us some privacy.
“I saw the baby, Jake. I saw its little heartbeat and it was incredible.”
“You saw the heartbeat already? Sweetheart, that’s amazing. I just wish I could have been there to see it. What did it look like?”
“Like a peanut.” I said truthfully.
“A peanut?” Jake laughed, showing me his magnificent smile.
“It did!” I exclaimed.
“Well, I am so glad my girl and peanut are safe.” Jake chuckled.
“I still can’t believe I’m here, I can’t believe we’re finally together.” I confessed.
“Believe it, baby. This is your home now and I swear to you I will never let him hurt you ever again. You’re safe; I’m always going to protect you from now on.”
I let Jake comfort me that night; we were both exhausted and fell straight into bed and slept for twelve hours straight. I ignored every one of my instincts which still wanted to know what had gone on between my father and Jake. I could tell by the state of his knuckles that a great deal of violence had been involved but didn’t want to think about it. I desperately tried to control the voice in my head which told me this was far from over. My father would have his revenge, one day he would come for me and there’s nothing I could do about it.
We only stayed at Jake’s house for a couple of days. He promised me we wouldn’t be there for long and it turned out he was right. I must have experienced every single type of emotion during those first few days, I was going out of my mind worrying about mum and I was desperate to speak to her. The grief I felt over gran’s death was unbearable, it consumed me and I know without Jake’s constant love and support I wouldn’t have been able to get through it. There were some nights I’d just sob, my sadness was overwhelming and all I could do was cling to Jake as he rocked me back and forth, whispering soothing words into my ear as he wiped away my tears. He was absolutely perfect and refused to leave my side.
I realised I had to know the truth, I needed to find out what had really happened to her. After a lot of debating and heated discussions, Jake finally gave in and decided to take me back to gran’s house. It was extremely difficult for me to go back there and there were plenty of times when I nearly turned back. Her house looked so lonely and desolate; it made my heart ache to know she would never be returning to it.
I had no other choice but to speak to gran’s interfering neighbour, Mary. She was the one who had told my father about me and Jake meeting up at gran’s house, I amit that I was a little angry about it at first but I couldn’t really hold her responsible for what had happened. She turned out to be quite helpful; she gave me the phone number of the old school friend gran had gone to stay with and just knew I had to phone her. I had to know the truth and she was the only person who could give it to me.
Majorie was really sympathetic and kind when I phoned her. She told me that gran used to talk about me all the time and she told me how proud she was of me. She said that gran was so relieved I was happy; her whole face would light up every time she spoke about me. I found out she had died in her sleep, she’d had a heart attack and I could only hope it had been painless for her. Marjorie told me she had a letter for me from gran but had decided not to send it to my old address because she knew all about my father and what he was like. I asked her if she would be kind enough to post it to me now and she agreed. I found it a great comfort to know a small piece of gran was on its way to me. I was so thankful my father would never get his hands on that letter; I just know he would have kept it from me just like he kept hold of all the letters from Callum.
Marjorie told me when the funeral was going to be, she couldn’t make it herself because of the distance and it tore me apart to know I wouldn’t be able to go either. I knew my father would be there waiting for me to turn up and I just couldn’t risk it. Besides, I’d already said goodbye to gran in my own way, I didn’t feel it necessary to go to the funeral. I hoped my mum would understand why I couldn’t go and I tried to take comfort from the fact that gran had still been alive to see me happy.
I still think about my mum every single day, I hope she’s ok and understands why I had to leave. Jake told me he gave her the option to leave with him but she said couldn’t leave him, she chose to stay and I have to accept her decision just like I hope she accepts mine. I know I have to find my own way and start my own life away from mum. I hope to see her again one day, I’d like to be able to explain things to her and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to give up on that.
Jake kept his promise and quickly found us a place to live. He acquired the newly furbished flat above the bar where he works, persuading his boss to lease it to him for a large sum of money and in agreed to upgrade his position behind the bar to bar manager. At first I was really sceptical about having to live above a bar but when I thought of the alternative which included living with his rude mum and three sisters for the foreseeable future, I quickly changed my mind. Carla was really sweet and made me feel welcome but Jake’s other two sisters were a little distant and I heard them say a few bitchy things about me when they thought I couldn’t hear them. I inadvertently mentioned it to Jake one day, I was a little tearful about it and he was absolutely furious. He made the two of them apologise to me and promise not to pass judgement again. I was mortified and felt like the atmosphere in the house was turning frosty because of my presence.
I was pleasantly surprised when Jake first took me to see the flat. The previous tenants had made a mess of it so Ritchie had decided to completely renovate the place before finding someone new to occupy it. The flat was quite cosy, it only had the one bedroom but I couldn’t help finding it quaint and homey. Jake insisted that Ritchie set it up with new furniture for us before we moved in and I was really surprised when he agreed. The one thing I wanted to buy ourselves was a brand new bed; it was the first thing we bought together before we moved in.
“Now all we have to do is christen it.” Jake had whispered, nuzzling my neck whilst we were still in the furniture store after picking it out.
“Haven’t you had enough of me? We had sex twice this morning and twice last night…” I trailed off, moaning quietly at the feel of his lips against my neck.
“I will never get enough of you; you always leave me wanting more.” He growled in my ear.
“Have you come to a decision yet?” The sales assistant asked us, making her way to the centre of the store.
I could feel myself blushing furiously, she had no idea about the intense foreplay that was going on between us and by the look on her heavily made up face, she had a really interest in becoming more acquainted with Jake. The old stirrings of jealousy and envy reared its ugly head. I wanted to claw her eyes our for being so gorgeous and for making it so obvious that she was attracted to Jake, especially when she could clearly see that we were together.
&n
bsp; “Yeah, we’re going to take it.” Jake said, continuing to run his lips down my neck whilst taking hold of my hand.
The sales assistant cleared her throat, making it known that she was put out by our very public display of affection.
“Jake, stop it.” I spoke softly as I tried to free myself from his grasp.
“Sorry, I just can’t help it. You don’t really blame me, do you?” He asked the assistant, whilst giving her a pointed look. “I’m with the most beautiful woman in the world, it’s almost impossible for me to drag myself away from her.”
She narrowed her eyes at me before turning on her heel and walking away. Jake just laughed, interlaced our fingers and pulled me over to the counter so he could fill in the information needed for payment. She didn’t try to flirt with him again after that and I know it was because of Jake’s comment. I was so grateful to him in that moment, I was all for the idea of christening our bed as soon as it arrived in our new flat.
I could feel his eyes on me the whole time we were at the counter. I recognised the look he was giving me; he wanted me and was making it clear. I was still a little pissed off with the assistant who was in the middle of serving us and decided to take a walk around the store. I pretended to be really interested in the 30% sale and tried to ignore the penetrating glare of Jake which followed my every move. He was clearly annoyed I’d left him alone with her and ignored his flirtatious advances. I feigned oblivion, acting as though his watchful gaze didn’t affect me at all.
I found myself wandering into the baby department, browsing through the tiny clothes and stroking the little teddy bears. I couldn’t help it; I was drawn to them and felt the need to absorb everything I could from the children’s area.
“You know we can buy anything you want. Whether its clothes or toys, a pram or a cot, whatever you want, baby.”
Two strong arms encircled my waist, squeezing me firmly as he settled his hand over my stomach.
Always & Forever Page 61
