BreakMeIn

by Sara Brookes

  “Always seems to be the case, doesn’t it?”

  “Are you…involved with anyone?”

  “No. Not at the moment.”

  “What about at the club?”

  She averted her gaze. “I haven’t been there.”

  His eyes widened. “Surely—Elena, tell me you’ve been back since then. You have, right?”

  The caustic tone of his voice annoyed her. “I’m not particularly fond of crawling on my knees so I don’t plan to anytime soon. If you think you’re truly well enough…”

  “I am.”

  She was afraid he’d say as much. After everything he’d been through he’d come back still seeking answers. But she’d given him an ultimatum and he’d certainly lived up to his end of the deal. Even if it had been by force. Now it was her turn to keep up her end of the bargain. “Then I can introduce you to a few Dommes I think would suit you.”

  “You could,” he said slowly. “But we both know better.”

  “I know.”

  “You’re stalling.”

  “Transparent again. Damn.” She dropped a few bills on the table and rose. Walking to her car, she listened to the crunch of Alex’s footsteps behind her.

  Was she crazy for even entertaining this idea? For even considering taking on one of her oldest friends as her submissive? She always liked a sub who would challenge her, but Alex brought a whole different set of issues to the table. Not to mention the fact she had feelings for him she knew she’d have to keep buried. Yet another intricate layer of their relationship she’d have to contend with.

  What frustrated her most was the fact it made sense. He sought to find himself after a painful divorce. After an even more painful recovery. He needed to know if he’d been right in the choice to ask Vivian in the first place. Though she could tell him without going further it was. Vivian had shown her true colors the moment she’d walked out the front door in a rage simply because Alex was curious. If she’d truly loved Alex she would have gotten over her snit and talked through their issues.

  Communication was the key to any good, lasting relationship.

  They’d known each other for years, had known each other’s families for years. They’d partied together, studied together. All with Vivian right at their side. The rift between her and Vivian had grown because Elena couldn’t stand the way Alex let himself be treated by the supposed love of his life. You were supposed to treasure the one you loved, not treat them as if they were no better than a piece of mud dirtying your shoe.

  Though Alex had always been like a brother to her, she never mentioned the behavior she saw because he looked so happy. She would never get in the way. It was the very reason why she should and shouldn’t agree.

  With her as his Domme he would find what he sought because she would make certain he got the answers. She just didn’t know if she was the one to give them to him because of their closeness. Elena had kept her secret desires for Alex to herself because they had no place since he was married.

  If she agreed she would risk exposing this secret and everyone could get hurt. If he had just been some passing participant at the club she would never think twice.

  But god how she was nearly salivating at the thought of training him.

  Never mind the fact she knew too much about his past. Knew the abuse both brothers had suffered at the heavy hand of their sadistic father. It made her more personally involved than she liked. She would know things already another Domme would have to spend months uncovering.

  Her familiarity with Alex would speed the process along.

  In order to let him move on with his life he would need to face some things he’d avoided. She wasn’t above doing what it took to get someone over an obstacle, but Alex’s hurdle was as large and as expansive as the Hoover Dam.

  For him to overcome he would have to face the pain head-on. At least by her hand it could be done compassionately because she did know him so well. Seemed as though she was the perfect choice after all, as much as she hated to admit the fact.

  She turned, her breath hitching quietly at the gleam in those liquid crystal eyes as he leaned closer. His hands settled on the roof of her car, effectively caging her in so she couldn’t move. “You want to know just as much as I do. A willing submissive offering himself with no strings attached is a hard thing for you to resist.”

  “But there are strings.”

  “Strings that uncomplicate a hell of a lot of things. They break down a lot of barriers you know you won’t have to deal with. I may be new to this, but I’m not new to you. Your inventive mind is already working over scenarios, dismissing what you think I can’t handle and devising scenes that will break down my walls. It’s written all over your face. This way we’ll both have our answers.”

  His mouth brushed gently against hers, a slow sweep that shook her knees and shattered a few of her defenses. Caught up in the feel of such a loving, gentle touch, she opened to him, drawing his tongue into her mouth as his body pressed tight against hers.

  Their last kiss had been filled with a breath-stealing concoction of stale liquor and sweat. Now the fresh, invigorating scent of his soap and the coffee he’d had with his dinner filled her senses. There wasn’t even a hint of any kind of vice to be had. Not even the faintest wisp of smoke. Just pure, unadulterated male free from sin and debauchery.

  Except Alex was sin.

  Arousal flared low in her gut at the same time some sensations she’d thought long buried rose to the surface. He was right, she did want to know. She longed to see him bound up in her chains, sweat dripping down his body as his hard cock strained away from his abdomen toward her.

  She wanted to break him in her chains.

  She swallowed heavily as he pulled back, looking down at her with hooded eyes. Damn he was gorgeous. And as hard it was for her to admit, he was right. A submissive willingly offering himself with no strings? Talk about the ultimate nirvana. But this was Alex, for shit’s sake, a man she considered family.

  Only family didn’t kiss her the way he just had.

  A warm hand pressed against her cheek. “Throw whatever you want my way, Elena. I can take it.”

  The boldness of his statement slashed through her, reminding her of how much was at stake. “No. You can’t.”

  He leaned closer, brushing his erection against her thigh. “Try me.”

  She knew by agreeing to go along with this she was letting him off easy. Far easier than he deserved, but what the hell else was she supposed to do? The poor guy had been through so much and he was just trying to get his life back together.

  “I intend to.”

  When his eyes flashed as the corners of his mouth turned up in a clever grin, she knew she was in trouble. Sure, he’d get what he wanted, but he needed to think again if he thought this would be a unicorn-pooping-rainbow-sprinkles moment. “One session. No more.”

  “One night. However many sessions it takes for me to have my answers.”

  Leave it to Alex to bargain. “You’re a fool if you think you’ll have all the answers in one night.”

  Alex’s grin widened before nodding. “Then we both agree it should be longer.”

  “No. One night. I’ll decide if you can handle more than one scene.”

  “Fine. What else?”

  Jesus, she was really going to do this. “I have rules at Sanctuary. You will abide by them and you will do as you’re instructed for your safety. Some things are negotiable. Some aren’t.”

  “Okay.”

  “You will have a safeword. There is no negotiation there. End of story.”

  “I trust you to—”

  She held up a finger to stop him. “No negotiation. You will have one—period. No safety—no play.”

  “Fine.”

  He’d agreed too quickly for her tastes. “Oh no, I know you, Conners. Don’t think you’ll get away so easily by brushing me aside. You will use your safeword if necessary and not try to be a man about all this. Just because you’re submiss
ive doesn’t mean you’re weak.”

  “I was once.” His gaze fell away from hers.

  “No.” Determined to make him truly understand she lifted her hand, closing her fingers around his chin so he looked directly at her. “This just proves you aren’t. You just don’t know. Having questions doesn’t make you weak either. Ignoring them does. Just because you want to submit doesn’t make you a doormat with the rest of your life. You want to take control. You are determined to change the course of your life and have the courage to actually follow through. Vivian didn’t. She was too narrow-minded and weak to follow through in her dreams so she felt the need to squash yours.”

  “I really don’t understand what the big deal is. It’s just a word.”

  She eased her hold on his face, stroking her thumb gently against his strong chin. “Which is exactly why you need a safeword. You have no hands-on experience with this. Being blindfolded or tied up is fine in theory, but you don’t know how you’ll react. You may get in the middle of a scene and suddenly decide this isn’t for you after all. Which is why you will safeword out if it’s too much. And you will not worry about hurting my feelings in the process. I’ll be more upset if you simply try to take it because you think you have to.” She leaned closer. “And I will know, with every part of my being, if you are lying to me. So don’t even think about trying to outwit me.”

  “Yes Ma’am.”

  A shiver ran down her spine. Said in his deep, husky voice, those words sounded absolutely magnificent. She nearly salivated at the thought of how he’d sound under her flogger. When her hands were on his fabulous body. When he came.

  She was going to have to tread carefully with him.

  Very, very carefully.

  “I’ll call you when I’m ready.” He started to open his mouth, but snapped it shut when she glared at him. “You want to play, you’re going to play by my rules.”

  He pressed his body against hers, his hands lifting to wrap around the back of her neck. Her pulse beat hard against his thumbs as he gently stroked her skin. Those magical lips brushed softly against her mouth, the tip of his tongue teasing hers. “If you think I’m going to get bored and forget about this you’re wrong. I’ve been waiting for this long, so I’m damn patient.”

  Phew.

  She wouldn’t object to him planting a few more of those on her. She was still a woman, after all, and she’d be a fool to deny the power of those kisses. “I’m not trying to wait you out. I’m not ashamed to admit you caught me by surprise. I need some time to do some prep work.”

  “Good.” His fingers brushed against her forearm as he stepped back. “Later this week?”

  “When I’m ready, not a second before.” He nodded, accepting her statement. She swallowed carefully as he walked around her car, admiring the gorgeous view of his denim-covered ass as he slid into the passenger seat. Damn, she forgot she still had to drive him home.

  Chapter Seven

  A week later, even though she was committed, Elena still had a few doubts that needed to be addressed. And she knew there was only one person who would willingly slap some sense into her addled brain. Maybe he would even try to talk her out of this madness.

  Despite the threatening scent of a spring frost hanging in the air, the wide door on the oversized building stood open to the elements. It meant Ryan had either forgotten to close the door or he was so focused on his newest creation he didn’t care about the weather. Given the fact he was famous for working for days on end when he was in a zone, Elena guessed the answer.

  Clad only in tight-fitting black jeans and steel-toe work boots Ryan Flynn slid a shaver over the sloping curve of the hull. The peace of the moment centered her. Ryan preferred to work in total silence, claiming the sound of it helped him hear the wood beneath his hands. In reality he’d started all this craftsmanship because it silenced the sound of very painful memories. Now he had something—or rather, someone—else who quieted the chaos instead.

  There was stupid love again, rearing its ugly head.

  “She’s gorgeous. Commissioned or just because?”

  “Work.” Ryan slid his hand along the smooth surface, nodding slightly when he was happy with the state of the wood. “Some millionaire in California wants to impress his friends with his ability to spend more money than them. Won’t hear me complaining too loudly. Keeps me doing what I love.” He set the plane on the workbench behind him, grabbing a damp towel to brush away the shavings. “What brings you out this way, Ms. Red?”

  She chuckled at the nickname, feeling warmed by the easy air they shared. Ryan was a gorgeous man, toned and fit in all the right places. But they’d had their time. The short period had been fun, but they’d both been smart enough to recognize things wouldn’t work. Instead Ryan had turned it to his advantage, training Elena to hone her skills.

  Now he had a brand-new love in his life. Gatlin Falls’ newest on-air talent at the only radio station in town, Elisbeth Lawson. A relationship Elena was responsible for, as she’d recommended Ryan’s services as a Dom when Beth had needed a sure, guiding hand to get her head back in the right place. No woman—submissive or not—should have to endure the horrors she’d overcome.

  “Where’s Beth?”

  “At the station. Apparently the trainee the station manager hired to fill in for her has a different philosophy and work ethic. Saying they’re clashing is an understatement.”

  “If there’s anyone who can whip him into shape it’s Beth.” She kicked a rock, frowning at the line of dirt now streaking across her expensive leather heels.

  “You didn’t come all this way to ask me how my wife is doing.”

  “Alex is back.”

  “And you also didn’t drive all the way out here to tell me the sloppy alcoholic Conners brother has returned either.” She hesitated, rethinking her strategy. Alex had burned a lot of bridges last year because he’d turned his back on so many people. Maybe talking to Ryan wasn’t the best idea. At her pause he sighed and rolled his eyes. “At least tell me why you look like a lost little puppy right now.”

  She winced at his stern tone. “You people keep shattering this notion that I possessed the ability to keep my thoughts to myself. You’re busy, I shouldn’t have bothered you.”

  “Relax. You know I always have time for you.” He tossed aside the towel he’d used to wipe his hands.

  “I know. You’re just busy and don’t have time to listen to my…whatever. You’ve got your own shit to deal with.”

  “I’m fine, Elena. Really. Thanks to you. A lot better than I was this time a few years ago.” Grabbing her shoulders, he shook her lightly a few times before pulling her into a tight hug. “I promise.”

  A few minutes later in the small, rustic-looking one-room cabin, she watched as he cracked open a longneck, took a few pulls and walked over to sit at the table with her. “Let’s hear it.”

  “I’m thinking of taking on a new submissive, but I’ve run into a complication.”

  Concern immediately darkened his expression and he leaned forward to touch a finger to the back of her hand. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes, I’m fine.” She loved the amount of concern he still held for her. It was what made the trip so easy instead of calling. She hadn’t even thought twice about making the long drive past the outskirts of town. “I’m just looking for some advice I guess.”

  “From me? I’m the last one who should give advice.”

  “But you are someone I trust.”

  “There is that.” He withdrew his hand from hers, taking a sip from his beer before speaking again. “Go on.”

  Alex coming back to town meant she had to revisit her old ghosts. She hadn’t exactly hidden what happened, but she hadn’t screamed it from the rooftops either. This was the part she hadn’t thought about. She needed to talk to him, but how did she start this kind of conversation?

  Screw it. She’d never been one for subtly. “I don’t think I ever told you I was let go from the club.” />
  “What?” The amber bottle clinked heavily against the wood. The concern in his eyes vanished, replaced with utter disbelief. “What’s going on?”

  “There was an incident on Open Door night. I was…asked to resign my position. Hand in my whip as they say.”

  “Holy shit, Elena.” Ryan blinked. Seeing him speechless wasn’t usual.

  “I’m surprised no one told you.”

  “I haven’t stepped foot in the club for years. Chaplin and I weren’t the best of friends to begin with. So it’s not likely he would call me out of the blue to tell me. When was this?”

  “Right after Patrick and Allison’s wedding.”

  “Sorry we missed the joyous event.”

  “I’m sure Patrick and Allison understood. There’s more,” she admitted reluctantly.

  “There damn well better be.”

  “Alex was there. He was actually the reason I lost my status.”

  Ryan’s hand froze in midair, the beer sloshing around in the bottle. “Do I want to know why he was at the club? I know for a fact he’s vanilla. Patrick mentioned it enough. Especially after the huge fight they had.”

  Elena took a calming breath, pressing her hands against the table to steady her resolve. “He wants to know more. See if he’s really not vanilla. But there was some trouble. He didn’t understand a very intense—very physical—scene between a Dom and his sub and I stepped in.”

  Ryan scowled. “You know, you really need to learn how to curb this whole mother-hen thing you have going.”

  “You know as well as I do—”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I do. It’s just part of the job description. So I guess now you feel responsible for him?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Oh.” He was quiet for a few moments and when his eyes finally narrowed Elena knew, once again, she hadn’t been able to hide anything from him. “You like him don’t you?”

  “Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous. I simply meant he wants me to show him and I agreed.” Despite the fact he’d just laid it all on the line, in truth, Elena felt the need to defend herself. “It feels right to teach him. But—”