Sidney stopped in the doorway. She placed her ringless hand on the door frame and turned back to Joshua. “Sorry about this.” She hesitated. Was she waiting for him to say something? He didn’t have anything to offer. She kicked her foot against the welcome mat. “I’ll get my dishes later.”
Joshua nodded, helpless to do anything else as Sidney followed Colin out to the driveway. She said something to the moron, then climbed in her car.
****
Colin had impeccable timing, Sidney thought sarcastically. Showing up at Joshua’s house when she’d least wanted to see him. It’d only been a couple days since their breakup, and she hadn’t been ready to face him yet. Their meeting was inevitable. It couldn’t be avoided in a small town, but she had hoped it would be in passing at the gas station or the grocery store where a simple nod and awkward smile would suffice. Instead he had to show up at Joshua’s, the one place she thought she’d be safe.
It had been an ulterior motive for baking the casserole and leaving her phone at home. She’d had a premonition Colin would call her all day. She needed a break from jumping every time the phone rang. Sharing the casserole allowed her to avoid Colin and visit Buck, but in her head she was checking on Joshua. It wasn’t for Buck that she’d changed into a cuter T-shirt with a lace design around the swooping neckline and combed her hair until the golden highlights glistened. She squashed the impulse to swipe some mascara over her eyelashes. That was a bit much, and it would have taken her an hour to find her paltry cosmetics cache.
Joshua had looked like he’d been run through the ringer. If Colin hadn’t barged in, she would have stayed for the evening and helped him sort all the storage containers. Crusty plastic with Joshua would be much more fun than dumping Colin. Again.
She’d wondered why half of Pine Bottom hadn’t tracked her down to get a bit of dirt on the canceled wedding. Well, now she knew. Colin refused to acknowledge she had called everything off. With as much attention as he’d paid her during that conversation, he probably never heard her say she was dumping him. He was going about business as usual. That ‘usual’ for him wasn’t seeing her for two days, unfortunately still depressed her. How had she missed his neglect? She rolled her eyes. Maybe holding the ring in his hand would cement her intentions in his head. Their relationship was over. She wasn’t going to be taken for granted again.
Colin parked in front of her duplex. Sidney pulled into the driveway and shut off her car, wishing the upcoming conversation already over. She rubbed her slimy palms on her shorts, then climbed out of the car. Colin made his way across the grass toward her staircase.
She rented an apartment on the second story of an older home from Penny. It was hardly more than a studio with a kitchenette, but she liked the character of the place and having Penny as a landlord.
“I’ll get the ring.” She held her palm out, hoping he’d get the hint to stay in the driveway and not follow her up the stairs. Getting this over with as soon as possible was all she could focus on. Or what she needed to focus on. She had to fix the lost look in Joshua’s eyes as soon as possible.
“Sidney!” Colin called after her as she dashed inside. She found the ring in the top of her jewelry box and wrapped it in her fingers, wondering one last time if she had made the right decision. She could take it back, resume the wedding, and spend the rest of her life with Colin. The joy she’d previously found in that idea did not appear. Instead desolation crowded into her tiny apartment, and the image left her nauseated. Given the last few weeks, being with Colin was the same as being alone. Returning the ring was the right thing to do. She clenched the solitaire and hurried to the door. Colin stood at the bottom of the steps. She tripped down them, running her free hand along the freshly painted railing.
“Here is the ring.” It seemed like she should say more. Something to enforce the finality of it. She blurted, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
He stared at her, a bewildered look on his face. She inched down the last step and held the ring out in her open palm. Colin didn’t take it.
“Please take it back.” She pushed her hand toward him. The ring winked in the sunlight and flashed for an instant, then returned to its cold metallic luster.
Colin scratched the back of his head as if trying to keep his hands as far from the ring as possible. “You can’t do this to me.”
“What do you mean?” Why couldn’t he just take the ring? She could barely steady the trembling in her hand. What if she dropped the ring, and it tumbled through the crack in the stairs to the spidery abyss below?
“We can’t break up. My reputation with Rough Diamond will be ruined.”
Rough Diamond? That was the reason he’d come up with? Not how much he loved her. Not how much he missed her. Not how he couldn’t live without her. His reputation with the multi-level marketing scheme? Why would Rough Diamond care if he was married or had a girlfriend?
Her bewilderment must have shown on her face, and, for once, Colin paid enough attention to pick up on it. “It’s so much easier to make sales if you are or appear to be in a committed relationship. A family man. People trust you more, especially women. They think you are safe.” His expression said she was stupid for suspecting anything else. “I can make twice as many commissions.”
“You never loved me, did you?” Her hand shook as she held the ring. The gold circlet bounced, dangerously close to leaping into the arachnid kingdom. She shouldn’t have asked, but the words tripped out before she could stop them.
“Of course.” Colin shook his head. “Of course, I did. I mean, I do. Sidney.” He reached for her arm. “We can make this work.” He touched her chin and tilted her face toward his.
Sidney looked into his eyes and wasn’t sure she recognized who they belonged to. Their relationship had grown apart so long ago, she might as well have been conversing with a stranger.
“I can make this worth your while,” Colin pleaded. “Together we can take Rough Diamond by storm.”
Sidney jerked away from him. “I don’t want Rough Diamond, and I don’t want you.” She rolled her hand into a fist, and the solitaire cut into her palm. Wishing she could fling all the hurt from Colin away as easily, she wound up and hurled the ring into the yard. She didn’t care where it landed as long as it wasn’t touching her anymore. “Good-bye, Colin.”
She pushed around him and scrambled up the stairs. She slammed her door behind her. Flipping the deadbolt, she sank to the floor and cradled her head in her hands.
The wait was interminable, but she finally heard the crunch of tires on the driveway as Colin drove away. After a quick peek in the mirror to make sure all the dashing about hadn’t mussed her hair, she grabbed her own keys and headed to Buck and Joshua’s.
Joshua answered the door, looking more haggard than just an hour ago. He probably hadn’t slept since Buck was admitted to the hospital.
“Hey, I’ll get your container.” Joshua gestured for her to follow him inside. They entered the kitchen. The enormous pile of storage containers had been returned to the counter, but the rest of the surface was crammed with a variety of nine by thirteen pans, some labeled with cooking instructions and some not.
“Wow. The church has really been cooking,” Sidney said, surveying dishes.
“They have,” Joshua said suppressing a yawn. “I don’t know how I’m going to keep all the dishes straight. Or when we’re going to eat all this.” He fumbled through the pile and found hers.
“Sorry about before. I had no idea Colin would show up here.”
Joshua waved his hand. “No problem. Dad slept right through it, and that was what I was most worried about. Are things okay? That’s probably not the right word, but—”
“Probably not okay, but they’re the way they’re supposed to be.”
Joshua was ready to crash, and she didn’t feel like rehashing anything about Colin right now.
“Have you eaten?” she asked.
He scanned the food in front of him as the doorbell r
ang. “I haven’t had a chance.”
“You find something, and I’ll take care of the door.”
He nodded, but she wasn’t sure he comprehended anything she said.
She answered the door, took the proffered pie, and thanked the visitor. As they left, she asked that they spread the word that the Pounds’ household was stocked with food for the next few days.
The microwave hummed, but Joshua was curled up on the floor asleep. Sidney smothered a giggle. The microwave dinged and yanked him out of the fog. He jumped up, startled and disoriented.
“Maybe you need some sleep first.” She hustled him out of the kitchen.
“Need to check on Dad at ten,” he mumbled.
“Taken care of.” She gave him an extra shove toward the hallway.
She could almost make out the ‘thanks’ he grumbled as he disappeared. Sidney smiled to herself as she returned to the kitchen, wondering if she should make sure he made it to his bed. That unlocked a quiz of questions she shouldn’t even be considering. Best to help where she could and let the dust settle around everything else.
By ten o’clock when it was time to check on Buck, she had organized the dishes into meal-size plates and stored them in the refrigerator and freezer. The containers were washed and stashed in her trunk. She’d deliver them tomorrow.
The hospital instructions were on the table with several prescription bottles. After looking them over, she went to check on Buck. Everything appeared to be normal, so she considered what to do next. Before she could stop herself, she tiptoed down the hall and found Joshua’s room. Cracking the door so only a sliver of light slipped into the room, she could see that he slept comfortably.
Was this what being a wife was supposed to be like? She wanted to tuck the covers up around his chin and smooth the dark hair across his forehead. She wanted—
She’d better get out of here, or she’d be in more trouble than she was already facing.
Chapter Seventeen
Joshua pulled into the driveway of a craftsman style bungalow on the far side of town from his dad’s house. He and his real estate agent had toured three other houses this afternoon. Any one of them would be fine for a single guy who traveled a lot, but none of them had inspired him to move out of his home on wheels. This house was the last on the list for today.
His dad had been feeling well enough to go with him, but one of his hunting buddies dropped by right before Joshua’s first appointment, so Joshua had ventured out on his own.
The real estate agent parked next to him in front of the double garage. Joshua climbed out of his truck as the agent pulled the listing information from a leather portfolio. Joshua scanned it quickly, then followed the agent as they perused the front yard before entering the house.
“The house has been empty for several years, so I would recommend a plumbing and heating inspection before making an offer. It’s been winterized, but who knows what could have happened.”
The yard showed signs of neglect as well. It was mowed but sported none of the perky annuals dotting the landscaping of the neighboring houses. The lack of girly touches wouldn’t change if he purchased the property. He wasn’t much of a gardener, but he would trim back some of the hedges and the vines crawling over the porch and under the siding, pushing the fascia out of place. That alone would do a lot to remove the forlorn feeling of the property.
As they went inside, Joshua was surprised to see most of the original woodwork. Library panels lined the hallway and staircase. Wide oak pieces trimmed the doorways to the living room and dining room. The trim was sadly in need of refinishing as the agent pointed out, but with a little sanding and polyurethane, the woodwork would shine.
The agent pointed out the built-in cabinetry along one wall of the dining room. “You don’t find this quality of workmanship anymore.”
Joshua opened and closed one of the doors, sneezing at the dust that peppered the air. His gaze lingered on a T-back chair leaning against the wall. One of its legs was splintered and the upholstery faded. It wouldn’t take more than a bit of wood glue to fix that up. Maybe Sidney would know how to refurbish the cushion.
He picked up the chair for further inspection. Would he be able to find a matching set? Enough chairs for the whole family to crowd around the table at Christmas or Thanksgiving? Since his whole family consisted of his dad and Aunt Penny, two chairs shouldn’t be hard to procure.
That wasn’t the picture that filled his head. Sidney in a cashmere red sweater with a sprig of holly pinned above her ear as she admonished two rascally boys to sit in their seats and ask for the gravy rather than crawl across the table, while a little girl carefully laid a napkin over her sparkly gold dress. Aunt Penny would be hollering from the kitchen for help with the ham, and his dad would grin through the whole thing.
“This chandelier is amazing,” the agent said, jerking Joshua out of his daydream. “It’s probably original to the house. There used to be a local artisan who…”
The agent rambled on, but Joshua tuned him out in favor of visions of his future in the house. Easter egg hunts in the back yard. Toys filling the stairs. Cuddling with Sidney in front of the fieldstone fireplace as a winter storm howled outside.
How could he be having such Norman Rockwell thoughts when he’d spent the majority of his adult life in a house with wheels helping other people when their homes were destroyed? Was Aunt Penny’s needling finally getting under his skin? He’d always brushed off her comments, but hearing the oak floor creak under his feet made him want to establish roots. No, the idea of hearing Sidney’s steps on this floor made him want to settle down.
Despite having a musty, stagnant smell, the place still felt warm and homey. Sun filtered through the grime-clouded windows. The natural light accentuated the high ceilings, making the rooms appear much larger. The rooms flowed into one another in a reasonable way. There was a three-season room in the back, facing a nice-sized yard with a swing set. He moved closer to the window. The play set had a sandbox, a slide, and a fort. He imagined how much fun a couple kids would have once he replaced the rope ladder and the rotting swings.
He and his future wife would sit out here on the patio, holding hands and watching the sun set. The house sat on the edge of town, so instead of another back yard, it butted up to a hay field. When he pictured the woman sitting next to him, he saw Sidney. Her long legs stretched in front of her and the golden sunbeams reflecting off her tanned skin. It was crazy how easily he could see Sidney in this house. The spirit of the house was hers.
“What do you think about this place?” the real estate agent asked.
Joshua had forgotten the other man was there. He had been so engrossed in his daydream, he could almost wrap Sidney’s hand in his and smell the hint of vanilla that surrounded her.
In all likelihood, Sidney would never live in this house. Correction—she’d never live here with him. Even if he did buy it, he wouldn’t live here forever. A few years maybe and not even continuously then. He’d still be traveling for work, not as often if he took the distribution supervisor job at headquarters, but he could still be gone for weeks at a time.
Sidney deserved someone who would be there for her. Not someone who would put work before the things important to her. Not someone who would leave whenever the news advertised a natural disaster. She deserved better than Colin, and she deserved better than him.
Knowing he wasn’t right for her didn’t stop him from wanting her, from wanting to be all those things he despised Colin for not being. The same weaknesses he saw in himself. In the future, he might deserve her, but now… Well, a house and establishing a residence not on four wheels was a start.
Besides, purchasing this house was about having a home base closer to his dad, not about changing his whole philosophy on homes and families, although the fears that usually roared had quieted to distant murmurs.
“I’ll take it.”
The agent rattled off some mumbo jumbo, but Joshua returned to his vision of the
yard. Would reality ever match his dreams?
Chapter Eighteen
Joshua paced the waiting room, the half cup of coffee forgotten in his hand. The coffee had long since grown cold, but he didn’t set the cup down. Holding something in his hand gave him security, like his balance beam wasn’t crumbling under his feet.
They’d admitted his dad to the hospital for observation with this treatment, and it was a good thing they had. His heart rhythm had gone wacky not more than a few minutes after they plugged in the drugs. The doctors and nurses had disconnected the IVs when the alarms went off. They rushed his dad to ICU, leaving Joshua alone in the empty hospital room.
Eventually, a nurse had reported his dad’s vitals had stabilized, but they needed to shock his heart into a regular rhythm. The procedure shouldn’t take more than an hour. She’d reiterated that neither the condition nor the procedure were life-threatening. Yet every second he waited passed more slowly than a hundred, and he wondered what had gone wrong for it to take so long.
They’d eventually directed Joshua to the ICU waiting room, which was twice as lonely and three times more nerve-wracking with its insulated silence and anti-septic stench.
He’d called Aunt Penny and left a message on her machine. The business-like quality of his voice belied the anxiety pulsing through him. When would he get a status update? The doctors hadn’t reported anything to him yet, and he didn’t know what to think. Was no news good news, or were things going so badly they couldn’t get away to report?
Joshua retraced his steps to the entrance of the room and unhooked his phone from his belt to check the time. He had no idea how long ago they’d rushed his dad away. They were supposed to arrive at the hospital two hours before for his treatment, but he couldn’t say how long it had taken to get checked in and the chemo treatment started.
The phone showed two text messages. They were related to work, so he ignored them. Work could wait today. He thumbed the screen off and snapped the phone back to his belt.
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