Beastly Desires

by Nikki Winter

  “I’m not—”

  He raised a hand, cutting her off. “Don’t. Don’t lie to me.” The tiger exhaled. “I can’t make you want my help, and I can’t make myself understand why I’m offering it, but I know when someone’s hiding. All signs point to that very thing. You look exhausted, you have no cards, and you’re armed like a member of the NFA coalition. I get the distinct impression that if I become pushy, ask too many questions, I’ll find myself in a shallow hole bleeding out tonight, so I’m simply going to tell you that, should whatever is pursuing you find you…call me.” Taking something out of his pocket, he tossed it in her direction. She didn’t realize it was a phone until she caught it. “I don’t care how illogical it is. I don’t care how late or early it may be. You. Call.”

  Kamali stared down at the phone, mind racing a mile a minute. “I don’t understand.”

  “Neither do I, sweetheart.” He made his way to his truck but she could still hear that low, gravelly voice when he said, “And I’m afraid to try.”

  Then he was gone, leaving her to stare down at that phone for the longest time. It wasn’t until she could no longer scent him that the illusion of comfort faded, leaving a confusing emptiness in its wake.

  Three

  He hadn’t even reached the end of the road before he was putting his truck in reverse, spinning off to the side, and cutting through swathes of snow to return to the gas station. He couldn’t leave her there. Kaisal should’ve been able to. He’d given her every viable tool to seek him out should she need to. And yet he found himself going back.

  Why? Why was it that everything inside of him protested the moment he couldn’t scent her anymore? She was a stranger; he didn’t even know her goddamn name but he couldn’t leave. He. Couldn’t. Fucking. Leave. The thought of separating from her, leaving her vulnerable to whatever had put that mask of fury and terror on her unforgettable face dropped the heavy weight of lead in his gut. Why? Why? Why?

  Kaisal squeezed his steering wheel, anxiety causing a war within him as he silently hoped that she hadn’t already shot off into the opposite direction.

  “The fuck is wrong with me?” he murmured as the sign of the convenience store came into view and his heart crashed into his throat the moment he spotted her headlights, seemingly thrumming along with the notes of Rossini.

  She was still there. She hadn’t left. Pulling up just a few feet away from her front bumper, Kaisal caught sight of her on the driver’s side, a map spread out in her hands. If he had been just a few minutes later…

  The second she registered she wasn’t alone, her gazed jerked to his, and he’d be a liar if he said the slow blink of her lashes hadn’t struck him dead in the chest. Her brows lowered as he climbed out of his Yukon. She rolled down her window.

  “Come back for the cash?”

  “When’s the last time you ate?” Kaisal blurted.

  Confusion marred her stare. “How, exactly,” she asked, “is that your issue?”

  “It’s not.” He rolled his shoulders.

  She glanced at her cub, who was wrapped in a small parka and a few blankets, his hair escaping the cap she’d pulled down over his head as he still blissfully slept on, obviously feeling safe enough to do so. “We ate.”

  “Was it fresh?”

  She bit her lip. “We ate.”

  “Are you hungry now?”

  Her sigh was deep. “We. Ate.”

  “That’s not what I’m asking you.”

  “Don’t really care what you’re asking me. I’m telling you that we ate, and it may have been something that had been resting under a heat lamp, but we ate.”

  He clenched his jaw, took a deep breath and said, “Let me feed you.”

  Her head snapped up, eyes slightly wide. “What?”

  Kaisal put his hands on either side of the door and leaned into the window. “Let. Me. Feed. You.”

  Her throat worked as she swallowed, and he caught some unnamed emotion fluttering in her stare. “I don’t need—”

  “Not asking what you need,” he interrupted. “I’m telling you what I want.” He watched her face. “Follow me and I’ll get you whatever you want.” Christ. Had he lost his goddamn mind? Kaisal was pushing it—he knew he was pushing it—but he couldn’t stop.

  The longer he stood there, gaze on hers, hands clenching around the frame of the door, his tiger pacing the confines of its cage, the closer he got to something completely foreign but so familiar. He wanted her to be protected, for her son to be protected. He didn’t know her story, didn’t understand why it mattered to him at all but he couldn’t pull himself away. He couldn’t move, could barely breathe. Every exhale felt as though the wind was being knocked out of him. His chest was tight, his body tense. He waited for her answer, needing her to tell him yes, needing her to let him feed her, needing her to remain close just like this. Yeah, he’d lost it.

  She closed her eyes and he bit back a growl. She was removing herself from him and he didn’t like it; her eyes told him what he needed to know and by shuttering them, she’d effectively restricted his ability to read her.

  “What do you want?” Her tone was almost a whisper. “What do you want from me?”

  Kaisal moved away, shoved his hands into his pockets. “I told you.” He didn’t know if it was instinct or his own twisted way to stay in her presence a little while longer but he needed to do it.

  Her chest rose and fell and he could see in her gaze that she wanted to call him a liar, tell him that he had no reason to make sure she or her son had eaten, that he had no reason to make sure anything good happened.

  Instead she simply shook her head. “No.”

  He quirked a brow. “No?”

  “I’m telling you no.”

  “You’re telling me no?”

  “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

  Kaisal grunted before holding out a hand. “Could I see my phone, please?”

  She reached over to the passenger seat, eyes on him, and then tossed it.

  He caught it without relinquishing her gaze and swiped the screen. From memory alone he navigated the device and dialed Naresh.

  “Have the hordes of cannibalistic children descended already?” his brother answered.

  “No,” Kaisal replied casually. “I haven’t gone yet. Send Baz.”

  “Err…you’re making me command our extremely volatile, extremely violent, light-eyed freak of a cousin to do something?”

  “Yes. Now do it.” He ended the call without another word and tilted his head. “We can do this one of two ways, sweetheart.” Kaisal motioned to her SUV. “I can shift and put all seven hundred pounds of my large, fur-bearing ass on the hood of your nice vehicle or you can simply agree to my requests.”

  She blinked, then rolled up the window while giving him the finger.

  His lips curved and he unzipped his bomber, dropping it to the ground. Her eyes narrowed. Kaisal allowed a full smile as he tugged his sweater up over his head, the T-shirt beneath it following. Her lips parted, and he could read them clearly. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

  Snorting, he bent over and unlaced his boots, starting to kick them off while going for his belt.

  The window quickly rolled back down. “All right! All-fucking-right!”

  Grinning, Kaisal redressed, uncaring that flakes of snow had already hit his skin and discarded clothing. The coolness relaxed him, calming his overheated flesh. “I know this amazing deli. Stays open all night, caters to others.” He looked over her shoulder. “And they love the little ones.”

  She tucked in her lips, warily staring.

  “We could get you settled in at the hotel first if you’d like,” he softly suggested, watching the fight drain from her. His was attempting to be as non-threatening as possible—didn’t want her bolting the very second she got the chance.

  The expression on her face told him she was hesitant to do so. “Under my name,” Kaisal added as he slowly re-approached. “We’ll put it under my name so no
one will pick up on yours.”

  Her jaw worked as she rubbed her palms over her eyes. “Why?”

  He answered in the only way he knew, the only way that made sense to him. “Because I just want to feed you.”

  ***

  The Oriade Towers. He’d brought her to the fucking Oriade Towers. Kamali almost swallowed her tongue the moment downtown came into view and the italicized O with a lion’s mouth just inside assaulted her eyes. When he’d said a hotel, she’d thought of something along the lines of a smaller chain or an extended stay but no, it was her family’s business, her father’s business. One Nico would now have full control of. No, no, no.

  They pulled around to the valet, and she didn’t step foot outside of her SUV. Kaisal looked back at her and stopped dead in his tracks, reading her face clearly. His eyes asked her a question and her nails dug divots into her dashboard as she shook her head slowly.

  He cocked his head toward the illuminated sign resting on the immaculate structure, and she nodded in the same manner.

  Gaze narrowing, he walked back to the valet and made a spinning motion with his finger as if asking for his truck to be brought back around. The kid took off, and Kaisal loped her way. She cracked her window and breathed, “I’m sorry…that place…I’m not…”

  “Stop.” His voice was a low, quiet command.

  Kamali closed her mouth.

  “We can go anywhere else you want. There are several other hotels here. Just pick one.”

  Her intake of air was shaky. “Secluded space. I need secluded space.” At this point, being in the vicinity of anything associated with her pride was like putting a target on her back. She’d tried to put as much distance between herself and San Antonio as possible.

  Colorado, with its colder climate, seemed to be an ideal state to rest for just a bit. Lions gravitated toward the warmer areas, and a thick winter was the last place she would truly be expected to hide. But if she stayed here, it needed to be where she’d have some wiggle room. Even if she’d never been to this branch of her father’s chain, they could still very well recognize her. And if Nico decided to search through every hotel…

  “How secluded?” Kaisal queried.

  She swallowed. “So secluded that a shot can’t be heard unless you’re within five miles of the gun.”

  He looked surprised but nodded once. “Okay.” His stare drifted up and down the busy Lakewood streets before returning to her own. “Anywhere here is out of the question.”

  Why was he making this his issue? Why did he care? She couldn’t figure it out, and it was making her fucking nuts. The fact that he got near her and she completely forgot about every issue she’d left in Texas should’ve disturbed the shit out of Kamali, but the safe comfort of having him around, the cocoon of his scent, soothed her. It soothed her beast. Why? Why? Why? What was it about this complete stranger with the pale eyes and crooked grin that made her want to stay put?

  He’d been ridiculously pushy and borderline strange, and yet she couldn’t find it within herself to just pull off and leave him behind. Kamali wasn’t sure if it was her natural feline curiosity or exhaustion from running for days on end, but when he’d growled lowly that all he wanted to do was feed her, her lioness had rolled over and purred.

  “Iya?”

  The soft, drowsy sound of her son’s voice drew her attention away from the large male just outside her door. She looked over her shoulder, giving him a smile that she hoped was reassuring and not completely confused. Reaching back, she wiggled her fingers against his tummy. “The lion prince finally awakens from his long, lazy slumber.” Kamali teased. “Hello, if¹. How are we feeling?”

  His rosebud mouth opened on a yawn, almost swallowing his face as he blinked. “Good.” He suddenly pointed behind her. “Who’s that? And why is he smelling you?”

  Kamali jerked around to find Kaisal halfway through her window. The guilty expression on his face told her everything she needed to know. Sneaky bastard.

  He grinned, and his teeth sparkled against skin that was a lot darker than what she’d originally seen under the low lights of the convenience store parking lot. She put a hand over his face and pushed him out once again.

  “Rude,” Kaisal said against her palm before she let him go. He then nodded toward the back window. “Roll it down, please.”

  Her eyebrows tipped upwards and so did his.

  With a sigh, she did as he requested and he moved to the back of the SUV. Kamali watched as he stuck one large palm toward her son. “Good evening, sir. My name is Kaisal, and I’m here to be of service to you and your mom.”

  She snorted.

  Callum looked from her to Kaisal and, at her slight nod, he reached out a gloved hand and shook Kaisal’s finger. “Hi, my name is Cal.” He’d done as she’d taught him. Never giving his full name, keeping it short and sure. Good boy. His head tilted. “Service for what?”

  Kaisal leaned against the door and whispered, “Food.”

  “Food?” Callum repeated.

  “Amazing food,” the tiger answered.

  “How amazing?” Typical pride male. At this age, there was one thing that held his interest—what he could eat and how much of it he could get down without feeling sick.

  “Ah, Cal.” Kaisal pointed off into the distance, as if reminiscing. “I want you to imagine a place where plates never become empty, where fries never get cold, where the sandwiches are so thick that you need a knife, fork, possible assistance from the fire department, and the Jaws of Life just to eat them. A place where fresh ice cream—not the processed stuff that could kill you before you’re thirty—is topped with fried cookies, and the milkshakes are so thick that if you turned over the cup, nothing would fall out. I want you to imagine heaven, my friend, but with some adjustments because the food is sinful. A place where if someone touches something on your plate, you have free reign to bite them and you will not be judged. A place where roaring is not frowned upon and gnawing at the flesh of those who offend you will be cheered on.” He looked back to Callum, who was probably sold the moment fried cookies were mentioned. “You’re the lion male here,” Kaisal said adamantly. “This is your territory and what you say matters. Therefore, if you choose to embark on this voyage of gluttony and overindulgence with me, you and I will be brothers in arms. If you say you want my fries, you shall get them. If you don’t have enough ketchup, a bottle of the finest will be brought for your pleasure alone. If you’re generally disgusted with those around you, I’ll intimidate them with this stare.” He drew his brows down until they almost touched his nose, wringing a laugh out of the child, who hadn’t laughed in weeks. “Making them flee and effectively lightening your dining experience.” Kaisal straightened his face. “It is up to you, young prince. Your wish is my command to carry out, and I shall do so with a pure heart and vigilance.” He placed an arm across his chest, resting his fist over his heart.

  Callum looked to Kamali. “We follow this man. We go where he leads.”

  She placed her forehead against the steering wheel. “You’re Satan,” Kamali hissed as Kaisal chuckled. “My child and I are going to dine with Satan.”

  He made his way to her window. “That is inaccurate. Satan was beat out of me when I trampled my mother’s garden after she specifically told me to stay away from it during my first week of mastering the shift. He and I haven’t talked in a long time.”

  Her sigh was heartfelt. “Why are you this way?”

  She could’ve sworn she felt his hand brush over her cheek but the touch was so light she couldn’t be sure. “Don’t know and don’t care. I have one concern at the moment and that—”

  Kamali held up a hand as she lifted her head, knowing was what coming before he said it. “I know. You just want to feed me.”

  His lips curled. “Actually, I want to feed me now. That speech I gave was inspiring.”

  She sucked in a deep breath, put three fingers on that hand down and rolled up the window. His laughter shouldn’t have war
med the coldest depths of her heart but it did. Because it coincided with her son’s. And that was a joy she could never deny herself.

  Four

  “Ask.”

  Kaisal tore his gaze away from Callum, who was laughing and stomping all across some dancing game just a few feet away. When he’d said the deli he was taking them to loved little ones, he hadn’t been exaggerating. It was full of games and toys and lights. All the things that drew the attention of pups and cubs alike. Callum was no different.

  He’d swallowed a burger made of fresh ground deer, sweet potato fries and a milkshake sweetened with honey before taking off toward his first game. He hadn’t been back to the table in thirty minutes, and the wait staff did nothing but stand aside and watch him go with smiles. This was what her son had been missing, the freedom to simply be a child without the pressures of being looked to as the Oriade pride prince, future dominant male and heir to the dynasty. From birth that had been his title, and that was all anyone had ever seen.

  “His father?” Kaisal said simply.

  She kept her eyes on Callum, never getting too comfortable. “Dead.”

  He was silent for a moment. “I’m sorry.”

  Kamali smirked. “Don’t be. He was a manipulative son of a bitch who tried to use Cal as a bargaining chip to get a higher position in the pride.” She sat back. “His tongue was torn out right before his throat for his efforts.” Alfre had played a dangerous game and lost. Her heat cycle could be blamed for her lying with him, but the unexpected pregnancy that followed would never be regretted.

  She could feel Kaisal watching her and then he queried, “I could assume it was your father who did it and I would be wrong, wouldn’t I?”