Brush of Despair (Dublin Devils Book 2)

by Selena Laurence

  She gave him a sad smile. “I think we both have. And I think if kisses make us feel more alive, then maybe kisses are okay.”

  Yes, thought Liam, kisses with Katya made him feel more alive than anything else ever had. And now he had a future to think about—a future of kissing Katya Volkova.

  Cian looked at the thick Kevlar strapped to Lila’s thin frame and knew it wasn’t going to work.

  “Dammit!” he spat.

  “I’m sorry,” Danny said. “I double-checked with Liam to make sure this was the smallest we could get. If she were a man, we’d put a suit on her, and it would cover it. But if she’s gonna dress like a girl, there’s no way to hide this thing.”

  Finn helped Lila remove the thick vest. “Look, the fact is, if they decide to kill her, it’s going to be a headshot.”

  Cian watched as Lila grew pale. “Jesus, Finn, a little sensitivity, will you?”

  “Sorry, Lila.” Finn shrugged. “Just telling it like it is.”

  “And yes, if they’re trying to kill her, the vest might not help. But if there’s a shootout, it could save her life.”

  “It’s fine,” Lila said brusquely. “I never expected I would be going in with any kind of protection. I can’t bring Danny.” She smiled at the big guard, and Cian watched Danny’s face flush in response. He knew Danny had a soft spot for Lila, and it should have pissed him off, but if it meant Danny took better care of her, then Cian couldn’t find fault. “I can’t bring a weapon. I can’t wear armor. It’s part of the deal, and I knew that when I asked for the meeting. You have a wire on me. I know you’ll come as fast as you possibly can if something goes wrong. It’s fine,” she finished.

  Cian had been in this business long enough to know better than to focus on what he couldn’t control. So he focused on what he could. “Tell me again what you’re going to say to them,” he directed.

  He heard Danny sigh. Lila rolled her eyes, and Finn chuckled. But he didn’t give a damn. This was Lila. This was life or death.

  “I’ll explain why Xavier isn’t real, I’ll tell them the last thing I heard was that Liam and the Russian girl had left town, then I’ll tell them you’re running scared. That you didn’t give Liam permission to take the girl, and you’re looking to have a meeting.”

  “And if they ask you how you have this information?” Finn prompted.

  “I’ll say that you confided in me, that Cian is threatening to close down the sales at Rogue and you’re pissed because this project was yours, so you confided in me.”

  Finn looked at Cian, and Cian could see the sympathy in his brother’s eyes. Finn knew how much Cian didn’t want to let Lila do this. But Finn was nothing if not rational, so he also knew this was an opportunity they shouldn’t pass up.

  “She’s got it,” Finn said softly.

  “Yeah, she does.”

  There was a light knock on the door, then Louis stuck his head in. “It’s time to go, boss.”

  “We’ll meet you out back,” Finn said, tipping his chin to Danny to indicate they should leave Lila and Cian alone for a moment.

  After the other men had left, Cian and Lila stood silently looking at one another. “Are you sure?” His voice was so soft, it was almost a whisper.

  She nodded.

  “I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to you.”

  She stepped closer to him, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck as she pressed her chest against his. “That’s okay. I have enough forgiveness for both of us.” She touched his lips briefly with her own, then stepped back and walked out the door.

  She knew the man she was facing was Sergei even before he told her. He stood an average height, barrel-chested, with sharp blue eyes, and gray hair cut brutally short. He had a scar that ran from the outside edge of one eyebrow down to his cheekbone. But in spite of all that, there was something charismatic about him—cruel but compelling. No way was a man like him not the leader of the group of truly soulless men arrayed in front of her.

  The meeting took place in the parking lot of an abandoned coffee warehouse. Cian had been unwilling to budge on an indoor meet, so Lila had suggested the property. It was technically in MacFarlane territory, but close enough to Consuelos’s part of Chicago to make the Russians comfortable. She’d driven herself there in her little Nissan Leaf, but of course, Cian, Danny, Finn, and Louis were waiting in an SUV a few blocks away. The listening device Cian had given her was the size of a pencil eraser and hidden in the snap of her denim jacket.

  “Well,” Sergei said as he circled her appraisingly. “While I appreciate Mr. Rossi’s gift, I don’t need more product.” He stopped and faced her, his expression cold as ice. “I asked to meet with him, not his secretary.”

  Lila fought the urge to cross her arms. Cian had coached her on body language—how to avoid looking defensive, scared, unsure. The trick, he’d told her, was to appear cool and confident at all times. Easier said than done.

  She put her hands in the front pockets of her casual black wool slacks. She’d forgone her usual T-shirt and jeans for something a little more significant, something that said she was a self-confident adult businesswoman. She wondered if she was fooling Sergei even a little bit.

  With a small smile, she raised an eyebrow. “I am Mr. Rossi,” she said slowly. “I have been all along.”

  Sergei’s eyes narrowed. “Not possible. We have seen photos of Xavier Rossi. You think we’re so stupid we don’t vet our associates?”

  Lila began to pace—just a few steps one direction, then the other, back and forth in front of Sergei. He watched her, stone-faced, violence rolling off him like waves on a beach.

  “You saw pictures of my former employee, Xavier Rossi. He was an adequate hacker who didn’t mind being the face of Rogue. But I own Rogue, I always have, and I’m the one who’s communicated with you all these months.”

  Sergei raised one eyebrow, and his gaze shot to the man at his left, who shrugged lightly to indicate he had no idea what was going on either.

  Sergei took a step closer to Lila, and she braced herself, stopping and facing him head-on.

  “You expect me to believe that Xavier Rossi is a real man, but not who I have been communicating with all these months?”

  “Yes,” Lila answered firmly. She hoped. “Surely you realize that in my world, being a woman is not an advantage. I’ve used male pseudonyms for years. It gained me respect and kept me safer. And I could have kept on doing it, but you insisted on a face-to-face.”

  Sergei looked her up and down again, the filth in his mind blatantly obvious in his gaze. “So where has Mr. Rossi gone now?”

  “He got greedy. He seemed to forget that he was only a figurehead, so I fired him.”

  Sergei nodded, but his expression was so stony, she had no idea if he believed her or not. “And you are?”

  She swallowed down the bile that rose in her throat. “You can call me Jessamine,” she said, using her hacker name.

  His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t challenge her further. “So tell me this, then, Jessamine. Where is Liam MacFarlane and the item he stole from me?”

  Lila’s heart raced, and she had to swallow once before she could answer. “The word is he took the woman and left town. I heard his brothers talking about it yesterday, while I was waiting to meet with them about new sales numbers.”

  “Why would he leave town? He’s their head of security, no?”

  “Their enforcer. Yes.”

  Sergei’s eyes narrowed. “He’s a warrior. He wants war. This is why he took my item. He wanted to start something. None of the information I have on him tells me he would run like a little girl. We had reliable intelligence that said he was in a safe house not far from here only yesterday. We found the house, and it looked as though they had just left.”

  “Much of that’s true, except he didn’t count on the fact his older brother wouldn’t want the war.”

  “Continue,” Sergei instructed.

  Lila shifted her weigh
t from one leg to the other, valiantly trying not to cross her arms in the protective stance Cian had warned her against. “I talked to one of Cian’s guards. I told him I was worried about the tension between the Devils and you. That I was afraid it would impact our sales through my website. He told me Liam had taken the woman from you without permission. That Cian had no idea Liam was going to do it, and when he found out, he was livid.

  “Cian told Liam he refused to go to war. So Liam took the woman and left town. I can’t promise you he won’t be back, but he’s gone for now.”

  Sergei stepped closer again, and Lila stiffened. He was within arm’s reach now. He could do anything to her he wanted, but to move away would tell him how truly frightened she was. So she lifted her chin, squared her shoulders, and stood her ground.

  “And if Cian doesn’t want war, how is he expecting this to play out?”

  “His guard told me he’s running scared, and he wants to meet.”

  Sergei’s expression turned murderous, and Lila flinched. He took the final step into her space, mere inches from her body, his breath hot on her skin, eyes aflame with rage.

  “So you told him you were coming to me,” he snarled. “And he instructed you to ask me for a meeting.” It wasn’t a question.

  “No.” Lila was proud at how strong her voice sounded when she answered. “I got all this information from his man. Cian has someone guarding me twenty-four seven, and the man has grown…fond of me. He only told me to reassure me my business wouldn’t be caught in a war between the two of you. I have no idea when Cian might ask for a meeting or where or how. I only know his man told me he wants one, and that he’s never seen his boss so scared.”

  “You tell me he has guards on you around the clock, yet you are here alone?” He put his arms out to the sides in a gesture of disbelief.

  Lila shrugged as if it wasn’t important. “I told you, he likes me. I said I was going to get some new lingerie and wanted to surprise him. He went for it.”

  Sergei leaned forward, into her space, his lips beside her ear, his voice low and absolutely deadly. “If I find, little girl, that you have lied to me, I will slit you from here…” His finger touched her between her legs, then he slowly dragged it up her body until he reached the hollow of her throat, “to here,” he finished.

  He turned, barked an order in Russian to his men, and they all climbed into the car before peeling away out of the parking lot, leaving Lila shaking so hard, she fell to her knees, and heaved up the contents of her stomach.

  In the front passenger seat of the dark SUV, Cian sat and white-knuckled the armrest as he listened to Lila vomit. Both he and Danny, who was in the driver’s seat, had earpieces and had been privileged to hear Sergei’s threats.

  “She’s okay, boss,” Danny assured him. “She held it together when it mattered. She’s a warrior.”

  “Are they gone? Is she okay?” Finn asked from the backseat where he sat with Louis.

  Cian heard Lila murmur, “Sorry about that. I’m okay. Getting in the car to leave.”

  “I’ll fucking kill him,” Cian ground out, his entire body tense with fury.

  “Hey. Update please,” Finn reiterated.

  Danny’s gaze went to the rearview mirror. “She’s okay. She’s in the car headed our way.”

  Cian heard Finn’s sigh of relief and Louis thanking the Virgin Mother. But it was as if he were hearing it through a long tunnel. Blood rushed to his ears, and hot anger spiked in his blood.

  Only a moment later, they saw Lila’s tiny car slide by in traffic as they had planned. Danny pulled the SUV out two cars behind her, and they proceeded down the street.

  Cian ripped the earpiece out and threw it on the floor, then grabbed his phone from the center console and pressed speed dial five.

  “Pull over,” he instructed into the phone, his tone harsher than he intended but out of his control all the same.

  “Boss?” Danny asked, glancing between the road and Cian.

  He couldn’t focus on what she was saying, but it wasn’t yes. “Don’t argue with me, Lila. Pull over now,” he barked into the phone again. Cian’s head throbbed, and he felt like he wanted to climb out of his own skin.

  “Cian,” Finn interrupted. “I thought we agreed we wouldn’t meet up until later? In case she’s being followed.”

  Danny agreed. “He’s right, boss. It’s not safe. They could easily have extra men watching her. It’s what we would have done.”

  Cian ignored them all, and spoke into the phone. “Lila from Rogue. Pull. The fuck. Over.”

  Danny shook his head, and Finn muttered something unintelligible from the backseat. Up ahead, Cian saw Lila’s car turn into a small corner gas station. Danny followed, parking the SUV broadside to her Nissan Leaf so it was blocked from the view of the street.

  Cian stepped out of the SUV and slammed the door behind him. Lila was out of her car by the time he reached her. He pulled her to one side and closed her car door before pushing her back against it. Holding her shoulders, he looked in her eyes and then quickly scanned her from head to toe and back again.

  “Did he touch you?”

  Her gaze darted away from his for just a split second, and that was how he knew she was lying when she answered, “No. I’m fine.”

  “You’re lying.”

  “Does it matter? It’s over, I’m fine, and we did what we needed.”

  He felt Danny hovering behind his right shoulder and saw Lila’s gaze go to the burly guard.

  “You did good,” Danny told her. “You’ve got balls of steel. I know a lot of men who couldn’t have done that.”

  “Cian. This isn’t the time,” Finn added. “You have to rein it in. She took a big chance. Let’s not undo it by being careless.”

  Cian looked into Lila’s dark eyes and suddenly felt as though all the breath had been taken from him. He struggled to maintain his composure, and as he did, the whole world became crystal clear.

  “Put her in our car,” he instructed Danny.

  “Come on, slugger,” Danny said gently. “Our ride is a lot more comfortable anyway.”

  Cian leaned an arm against Lila’s car. He was going to lose it, and he didn’t want anyone else to see.

  “Take her to Cian’s place,” Finn instructed. “We’ll drive her car back and stash it in the underground.”

  Cian kept his back to the SUV as he heard Danny start it up and drive away. He leaned into the tiny car, breath tight, heart racing.

  Then he felt Finn’s hand on his back between his shoulder blades. “Just breathe,” Finn instructed, his voice low. “Nice, slow, long breaths.”

  And as his brother’s voice soothed him and his lungs began to let air in again, as he stood in the trashy parking lot of a third-rate gas station and images of Lila split open and bleeding out flashed in front of his eyes, he knew something fundamental had changed. He knew that for the first time in his life, he really did love someone besides his family, and he knew he’d just lost his last leverage in the battle to save his brothers. Because there was no way he could ever sell out Lila.

  “Do you believe Liam MacFarlane has left town?” Sergei’s man asked him as they drove in the car.

  “Do you?” Sergei snapped.

  The man shrugged, “Maybe, maybe not. If he really wants a war, he would stay. But the girl… She might be enough to make him want something other than war.” The man waggled his eyebrows leeringly.

  Sergei’s lip curled in disgust at the idea a man would put a woman before business. He liked women as much as the next man, but they were good for only one thing, and you certainly didn’t need to let them interfere with work in order to have that.

  When he arrived back at the brothel, Sergei went straight to his computer specialist. “Have they found another safe house?” he asked.

  “They tracked one down, but it was empty. I think it was used even earlier than the other we found.”

  Sergei’s fist clenched in frustration, and he turned to o
ne of his men standing in the doorway. “Get me the girl, Nadja,” he demanded.

  His man grunted at him. “Of course.”

  Sergei’s gut told him something about all this wasn’t right. His gut had kept him alive all these years, so he relied on it heavily. Why had Liam stolen the girl in the first place? And had he really left town now? Sergei doubted it, but he couldn’t be certain. Was Cian running scared? Or had he sent the woman pretending to be Xavier to Sergei as a trick? The damn Irish were worse than the Mexicans. Nothing they did was rational, and it was giving Sergei a headache. For now, he would proceed with caution, take each step one at a time, testing the waters. But before he did anything else, he needed to relieve some stress. Luckily, his new favorite, Nadja, was waiting for him.

  He strode down the hallway and threw open the door to his personal room at the brothel. The girl was sprawled naked on the bed, her hair a tangled mess, mascara smeared under her eyes like a raccoon.

  She looked at him, eyes glazed over, skin pale, a desperate smile snaking across her face. “I’m so glad to see you,” she said. “How can I make you happy tonight?”

  He unbuckled his belt and pulled it slowly from the belt loops. He saw her eyes widen, and it made him hard.

  “You expect me to believe you want to make me happy?” he asked. “I think you just want more heroin.”

  He saw the need in her eyes at the mention of the word, and his lip curled in disgust. “You get nothing tonight. At least not until you’ve satisfied me.”

  Nadja nodded frantically. “Yes, baby, anything you want.” She crawled up onto her hands and knees and made her way down the bed, looking at him as her breasts swayed beneath her. That should’ve aroused him, but her desperation was pathetic. Luckily, he knew how to fix that.

  He reached down and grabbed her hair, wrenching her head back. She cried out in pain, and her eyes watered, he pulled hard until she was raised up on her knees, her eyes nearly level with his. He stared at her for a moment. She had been a beautiful girl, but the drugs had ruined her. They always did. But the weak ones needed them; otherwise, none of the customers wanted to be with them. While many men liked their women fearful, few liked them hysterical.