The Jagged Heart

by Trinity Lee

  Every fiber of Phoenix's being wanted to scream out: "And what if it's not over? What if he snaps his fingers and you come running?"

  But he remained silent, his arms wrapped around Caedem's shoulders, so strong but suddenly so fragile.

  Dylan and Fay would be there, he reasoned, and they wouldn't let anything bad happen.

  ****

  The hours passed more slowly than Phoenix could have thought possible.

  Dylan had seen the worry on his face when he swung by to pick Caedem up.

  "Don't worry. No one's going to mention you, and at the first sign of Taylor pulling one of his moves, I'll get him out of there."

  And Phoenix wanted to say that he was freaked out about everything: not just Caedem, but the band being together, playing his songs without him being there, and what the hell was he going to do with the rest of his life, but instead, he smiled and returned Dylan's hug before pulling Caedem to him with a long, slow kiss that hinted at what he had every intention of doing to him later.

  The afternoon was the longest of his life. He thought about walking to the beach and sitting there for a while, watching the waves break, but he wanted to be there when Caedem got back. As the hours passed, he bit his nails to the quick, imagining Taylor pulling every trick in the book to put Caedem under his spell again. He felt sick at the thought of them together, and every minute felt like an hour.

  To distract himself, he sat down with Caedem's acoustic guitar, which was rapidly becoming his instrument of choice, and - to his amazement - the music began flowing out of him and he realized, in wonder, that maybe he did have a future in music after all, just not in Mudride. He gradually became engrossed to the point that he didn't hear the bike outside.

  And then Caedem was in through the door, eyes shining, pulling him to his feet and winding his arms around him and saying, "I'm home, baby. Sorry it took so long."

  Phoenix looked into the depths of his eyes for an honest answer about why he was so late, and what had taken him so long, and saw the shadows had disappeared, and all that was there in Caedem's eyes was love and desire.

  "What happened back there?" he asked huskily, almost afraid to hear the truth.

  Caedem laughed incredulously.

  "Everything Dylan said would happen. Taylor was so gutted about the band break-up that he was grateful - no, pathetically grateful - that a solution was being handed to him so neatly on a plate. He was businesslike, that's all. I don't know what I was so worried about. Fay's going to sort out all the paperwork. We're going to do press and rehearsals next week, and then they're going to reschedule the tour dates for a fortnight starting from now."

  "And what did you feel when you saw Taylor?"

  Caedem shrugged.

  "Nothing, just pity. He certainly wasn't the mesmerizing presence I'd built him up to be. I looked at him and I didn't feel anything. It's like a shadow's been lifted."

  He hugged Phoenix.

  "You sure you're OK about this? I know it's going to be so weird for you. If you don't want me to do it, I won't. It's a three-month deal only, just to honor existing commitments. Then they can break the band up if they want or recruit someone else. Not our problem any more."

  There was part of Phoenix that wanted to scream that he wasn't OK about it, that this would give him the connection to Taylor that he'd tried so hard to get away from, but he knew it was the price of loving beautiful, complicated Caedem, so he smiled and nodded and said he was fine.

  And then Caedem turned to him with love burning in his eyes.

  "I want you, baby," he whispered, and Phoenix was lost.

  They fell backwards on to the bed, their taut bodies writhing against each other, Caedem pulling Phoenix's face close in the hottest, open-mouthed kiss he could ever imagine. And then Caedem was undressing him with strong, tender hands, and it was such a turnaround to have Caedem making the moves on him rather than the other way around, that the realization brought tears to his eyes.

  "I want to make this special, make it really mean something," said Caedem fiercely, and his words jolted Phoenix's heart as he realized that soon Caedem would be on tour again, and he'd be on his own again.

  Caedem brought Phoenix's palm to his mouth and kissed it, and then sucked his fingers, holding his gaze, until Phoenix felt himself melt inside and all his reservations slip away.

  "I feel alive again," he whispered. "And it's all because of you. I'm in love with you, Phoenix."

  Phoenix felt him lick down the outside of his throat, sharp teeth graze his collarbone, as Caedem pinned his arms above his head, teasing around his nipples with his tongue and then tracing down with his tongue to the little trail of hair that led down from Phoenix's belly button.

  Then he shucked off his own clothes and rolled on top of him, gasping as his hard cock rubbed against Phoenix's belly, making both of them shiver with anticipation.

  He spat in his hand and grasped both of their shafts together, running his hand up and down as though he was playing some kind of heavenly guitar solo, until Phoenix had to beg him: "Go easy or I'm gonna shoot my load right now. I been so hot for you for so long."

  There was a wicked amusement in Caedem's eyes that he had never seen before, and he suddenly had a hint of what Caedem must have been like in the days before Taylor and the drugs. Phoenix knew that his life would never be the same now, that he was properly, crazily, head-over-heels in love, and that he had given his heart to this beautiful, fragile stranger to do whatever he wanted with it.

  And Caedem laughed, and whispered against his mouth, "You been hot for me? Nothing compared with how hot I've been for you."

  They lay still for a minute, Phoenix willing himself back from the brink. If the mere touch of Caedem's skin against his could do this, he wondered how long he could possibly last if...

  He groaned.

  "Good thing we got all night," he said, nipping at Caedem's lips and running his hands over the beautiful hard curves of his back and butt, until his fingers found something unfamiliar, something alien on the surface of Caedem's smooth skin.

  "What is it?" he asked in panic, his first thought as his fingers found the surgical dressing on Caedem's hip that maybe he had lied to him, and that his newfound lightness of being was drug-related.

  But Caedem raised Phoenix's hand to his mouth and kissed it and said, "Have a look - I was going to show you. I asked Dylan to get Sam to do me a favor."

  "You were out getting a tattoo all the time I was going out of my mind with worry this afternoon?" huffed Phoenix.

  "Shh. Have a look and you'll understand."

  And when Phoenix peeled back the dressing, he saw the jagged heart was jagged no more: it had been turned into a whole heart, and in the middle were Caedem's initials entwined with his.

  "You crazy bastard," he said, half-crying. "We've known each other less than a week and you've got my name on your hip."

  "It's on my heart, not my hip," said Caedem, cupping his face and giving him another of those endless, sweet kisses. "And it's to show you that part of my heart doesn't belong to Taylor any more. It's yours."

  Phoenix smiled to think that mentioning Taylor didn't cause a problem between them any more, that his name was just another word that was in both their pasts.

  "I want you to fuck me," he whispered. "Really hard, like you mean it, even if it hurts like hell."

  There was a moment's doubt in Caedem's eyes, and then they darkened with desire as he slid down Phoenix's belly and swiped at his dick with his tongue, making Phoenix moan with anticipation as he licked around the damp curls of his public hair and his ballsack before returning to the tip of his cock, sucking it so delicately and then so hard that Phoenix had to use all his willpower not to tip right over the edge.

  He sighed as he felt Caedem's tongue probing his ass, and then a moment's discomfort as he sank in one finger, then two. And then he heard the crackle of the condom wrapper and the sensation of the cold lube on his ass made him writhe and giggle for a
moment.

  Caedem pushed his knees up and he could feel something hard butting against his ass, but he breathed out and relaxed the way Taylor had taught him to do - damn Taylor, why was he even thinking about him? - and the pain washed over him as Caedem started to edge in, then stayed still, allowing his muscles to relax around his huge hardness.

  He could see in Caedem's eyes, darkened and misted with lust, and hear in the rough gasping of his breath, that it would not take much to send him right over the brink. Phoenix laid his palm against his beautiful face, Caedem nipping at his fingers as he pushed further and further inside, making Phoenix moan with pleasure-mingled pain.

  They held each other's gaze as Caedem started moving inside him, Phoenix thrusting forward into Caedem's hands as the hard tip of Caedem's cock awakened the sweet spot inside him, crashing against his prostate with every thrust and making him moan.

  And then he was exploding in the sweetest, best climax of his life, spurting over his belly and Caedem's and watching Caedem's face as he closed his eyes and jerked forward, spasming inside him.

  "Phoenix, baby, ahhhh!"

  There had been a tiny part of Phoenix that had been freaked out that Caedem would cry out Taylor's name when he came, and as they lay together, spent, that fear dissipated, and Phoenix finally relaxed in the knowledge that Caedem was all his.

  Caedem searched his eyes, kissing him sweetly on the lips.

  "I'm sorry that was so quick," he said. "I haven't been with anyone for more than two years and I guess it shows."

  "I was going to say the same," said Phoenix weakly. "Only I don't even have that excuse. Like I said back at the hotel, all your fault for being so damn hot."

  "Just as well we've got all night, then," said Caedem, his eyes darkened with promise. "And all the next day, and the day after that."

  The unspoken fear of what lay afterwards, of his long absence, hung in the air between them until he added: "I can't imagine not being with you now. How the hell are we going to be apart from each other?

  "Come on tour if you think you can stand being around Taylor, but if not, I'd like you to stay here at the house, so I've got someone to come home to."

  Phoenix smiled up at him and kissed him, pulling him close.

  "I've got nowhere else to be," he said. "And I sure as hell hope you don't change your mind, because I'm going to be home waiting for you, not just at the end of this tour, but for the rest of your life."

  THE END

  Also by Trinity Lee:

  The Pierced Heart (Book 2 of the Phoenix Murphy Story)

  The Mirrored Heart (Book 3 of the Phoenix Murphy Story)

  One Hot Kiss (Shay and Johnny, Book 1)

  One Hot Night (Shay and Johnny, Book 2)

  One Night in Phoenix (Mudride, Book 1)

  Another Night in Phoenix (Mudride, Book 2)

  Phoenix Feels the Heat (Mudride, Book 3)

  Inked and Hard (Sam and Dylan, Book 1)

  Inked and Harder (Sam and Dylan, Book 2)

  One Hot Tattoo (Ricky and Cory, Book 1)

  The Hottest Tattoo (Ricky and Cory, Book 2)

  One Hot Biker

  Elliott's New Neighbor

  Extract from One Hot Kiss

  He stood there, waiting for Shay, scuffing at the chalk with his beat-up biker boots. As Shay walked over, Johnny detected something in his demeanor, something that suggested he wasn't comfortable with this either. Hell, the guy looked nervous, his usual swagger replaced with something more tentative.

  He shrugged as he saw Johnny appraise him, mistaking Johnny's fear for hostility.

  "Hey, I'm sorry, man," said Shay. "I didn't mean this to be tougher than it already is... it's been a long day. Go easy on me, I've never made out with a guy before."

  "You're saying it like I have," flared Johnny.

  Shay put up his hands in a gesture of appeasement.

  "No, I'm just saying it's gonna be weird for both of us, so we should just get it over with before dickhead over there" - he jerked his chin towards Dan - "decides he wants something even worse."

  "Yeah," Johnny shrugged.

  "Anyway," joked Shay, some of his swagger coming back, "It could be worse. At least you're hot."

  Johnny was about to fire something in retaliation, tell Shay to back off, but something made him realize the other guy was offering him an olive branch.

  "Cheers," he said with a wry grin. "No point in putting it off."

  "Hey, let's get this thing done," shouted Shay to Dan, and the cameras started rolling.

  The music thundered out through the speaker next to them and dry ice started swirling around them. Johnny took a deep breath and took a step towards Shay, but he didn't have a chance to make the next move.

  Before he knew what was going on, Shay was pinning him up against the wall, taking his face tenderly in his hands, his warm breath against his ear.

  "Relax, man," whispered Shay, before touching his lips to Johnny's and closing his eyes.

  Shay's hot mouth on his own sent an electric jolt through his body. The bassist's hands in his hair and his hard-muscled body pressing against his own were making him as horny as hell, and for a moment, it was as if they were on their own in the warehouse.

  Without fully realizing what he was doing, he parted his lips slightly and Shay's tongue was in his mouth, running lightly over his teeth, writhing with his own. It was the hottest, sweetest kiss anyone had ever given him. He didn't want it to end. He could feel Shay's hard-on pressing against his thigh as it dawned on him that Shay wanted him every bit as much as he wanted Shay.

  "And cut!"

  Dan's voice brought him back to reality with a jolt, and he sprang back from Shay, confusion in his eyes. Shay's dark-blue eyes widened.

  "I'm sorry, man, got a bit carried away."

  Johnny glared at him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and shoved past Dan to where Annie was waiting for him.