by Barbara Goss
Gus sighed. “I’ll leave the horses in the barn and try to find you a buggy or wagon.” He led the two large, brown horses into the barn and remained in there for some time.
Lily returned to her gardening. When Gus finally came out of the barn, he spoke with her again. “There’s plenty of hay in the barn for a while. I settled the horses in for the night, but tomorrow you have to take the pitchfork and move more straw into their stalls. Make sure they also have plenty of food and water.”
Suddenly a shrill scream cut through the air. Lily dropped her garden tools and ran for the back of the house. Gus followed to find Mandy, standing on a log, pointing at the ground.
Gus approached, and then stepped back. “Stand back ladies,” he said. They quickly retreated until they were standing a good distance from Gus who took the gun from his holster and shot at the ground three times, killing whatever had scared Mandy.
“It’s dead,” he called, and both women moved a bit closer.
“What is it?” Lily asked.
“It was a snake!” Mandy cried. “And it made a funny noise.”
“It’s a massasauga rattler,” Gus told them as he picked it up and threw it into a clump of bushes.
“Are there any more?” Lily asked.
“Probably not.” Gus holstered his gun and turned back toward the ladies. “It really isn’t a good idea for you two to live out here alone. There are many dangers out here.”
“We’ll manage,” Lily said, trying to sound confident.
Gus sighed. “I’ll be right back.” He retreated to the front of the house and returned a few moments later carrying a small pistol in his hand. “Here,” he said, and he shoved the gun into Mandy’s hand. “It’s loaded.”
Mandy dropped the gun with a squeal.
Gus bent to pick it up. “You have to learn to use a gun if you're going to live out here.” He put the gun back into her hand. “Let me show you.” He led Mandy a few feet away, and put his arms around her to show her the right way to hold the gun and shoot.
Lily felt a stirring of an emotion she’d never felt before. Why did Gus have to put his arms around Mandy? She scolded herself for feeling jealous. Of course, he wouldn’t show her, she was nothing but a saloon woman, and used merchandise, to boot.
When Mandy smiled up at Gus, Lily felt another stab of envy. What if Gus were to fall in love with Mandy?
When Lily could no longer watch Gus work so closely with Mandy, she walked back to the flowerbed, got down on her knees, and began breaking up clumps of dirt. That was when she remembered the words from Sunday’s church service: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. She could use some goodness and mercy--Gus’s mercy. And where was her shepherd?
Mr. Morton said all she had to do was ask, so she closed her eyes tightly and asked, but before she could finish asking, she heard footsteps approaching. She opened her eyes and looked up into Gus’s face.
“I suppose you need to learn as well," Gus said. "Come with me to the back of the house.”
Lily got up, brushed off her dress, and followed him to the exact spot where he’d taken Mandy. He put his arms around her to show her how to hold and aim the gun, just as he'd shown Mandy. Lily found it impossible to concentrate on the gun with him so close to her. She felt his warm breath on her cheek wanted nothing more than to turn around, wrap her arms around his neck, and kiss him.
Somehow she managed to force herself to shift her focus from Gus to the gun.
Despite Lily's disheveled appearance, her nearness caused Gus's heart to race. She smelled like lilacs. He felt the strongest urge to take her into his arms and squeeze her. He prayed he'd be able to accomplish this shooting lesson without breaking his resolution to not be tempted by her. Gus felt the hairs on his arms standing on end, due to their close contact, and he prayed for strength.
Chapter 13
Gus showed Lily how to fire the small derringer. The gun scared her. She listened carefully, although still mindful of his closeness. When he told her to pull the trigger, she froze.
“Go on; pull the trigger,” Gus repeated.
“I-I can’t,” she said.
“Why not?”
“What if I kill something?”
Gus sighed. “It’s pointed at a tree. I want you to hit the tree…keep your hand steady. Here, let me help you.” He already had his right arm around her, holding her shooting arm, and now he reached around her front with his other hand to steady it. “Now! Shoot!”
Lily closed her eyes and pulled the trigger. When the gun fired, the sound drove her back, and right into Gus’s arms.
Gus held her close for a few seconds before reminding himself of his resolve to keep his distance. He gently, but reluctantly, pushed her away.
“You hit the tree the first time. You can brag about it to Mandy—it took her two tries to hit the tree.
“Good shot, Lily.”
Gus’s throat tightened when he saw her smiling proudly, dirty face and all. Dang, but he still loved her; there was no denying it. Then the thought of her lying in bed with that cowboy, letting him touch her in places that should have been his to touch, infuriated him. He turned abruptly.
“Keep the gun. I’ll try to find another so you both have one. I’ll bring over some bullets too. I won't be able to sleep at night until I know, for sure, the two of you are safe.”
Gus mounted his horse. “And I’ll try to find you a buggy, too,” he said before riding off.
Lily entered the house holding the gun with two fingers. She carefully laid it in one of the newly scrubbed kitchen drawers, and slammed the drawer shut. It had been so tempting to blurt out that Harley hadn't touched her, especially given her close proximity to Gus, but both Charles and Emma had advised against it.
It was getting hard to keep silent. She so wanted to explain it all away, fall into his arms and stay there.
A few days later, Gus pulled up in front of the house riding a farm wagon, pulling his horse behind it. When they saw him, Lily and Mandy ran out to greet him. They walked around the wagon. Lily was certain she wore the same look of disappointment she saw on Mandy's face.
“Sorry, ladies," Gus said. "No one in Hunter’s Grove has a buggy for sale. This buckboard was the best I could find. There's plenty of room for supplies in the back, and for the two of you up here.” He patted the rickety seat. “Up front.”
“I’ve never driven one of these,” Lily said, remembering her family's fancy buggies back in St. Joseph.
Neither have I,” Mandy said. “I’ve ridden in one, but I’ve never driven one myself.”
Gus sighed. “Which one of you would like to learn to drive it?”
“I think we both should, in the event one of us wants to go to town alone,” Mandy said.
Gus rolled his eyes. “Okay, who’s going first?”
Lily returned to the kitchen and continued cutting the vegetables for her soup. Although she'd never cooked before, Mandy had shown her all the basics, and they'd begun taking turns cooking. Though Mandy knew her way around a kitchen, Lily tended to stick to the easier meals, like stew and soups.
Lily'd had servants as long as she could remember to do the cleaning and cooking for her. She wondered how she ever would have survived without Mandy.
When Mandy’s lesson was over, she brought Gus into the kitchen for a drink. Lily pumped him a cup of water from the sink. Their hands brushed when she handed it to him. That he pulled his hand quickly away and made a concerted effort to avoid eye contact with Lily was not lost on her.
“You gals have done wonders with this house. It looks great,” Gus said. He finished the last of his water. “Your well water is good, and it’s cold too,” he said.
“We need to paint the cupboards yet,” Mandy said. “We need paint, though.”
“What color? I have some red from my barn, some white from my fence, and light blue from my shed. You're welcome to what I have.”
“If you don’t mind, can we have t
he white and the blue?” Lily asked. “I think white cupboards with blue doors would look beautiful.”
“Lily! What a great eye you have for decorating,” Mandy cried. “I love that idea.”
“I do, too. Neither paint can is full, but there should be enough if you use both of them.” Gus set his cup down and said, “Okay, Lily. Your turn to learn how to harness the horse to the wagon.”
Gus led her to the horse standing serenely near the carriage. “This horse came with the wagon, and she’s trained to pull it. As you see, I’ve removed the harnesses, so I can show you how to hitch the horse to the wagon. Driving it will come later.
Lily watched him put the leather gear over the horse’s head and attach it to the buggy. It looked easy enough, but listening to all Gus’s “make sure you” warnings made her a bit nervous. When it was Lily’s turn to attach the horse to the wagon it whinnied when she tried to put the harness over the horse’s head, and Lily squealed and dropped the harness.
Gus sighed and wondered how he'd ever gotten himself into the job of neglecting his own ranch to teach these women. He settled the horse down and told her to try again. And again. And again.
When Lily was finally able to attach the horse correctly to the wagon, Gus let out a sigh of relief.
“I’ll be back tomorrow or the next day to show you how to drive it. Hopefully, that'll be easier for you to master.”
“Thank you for helping us,” Lily said.
“No problem,” Gus said as he mounted his horse before waving and galloping away.
Lily felt her heart ride off with him. She needed to tell him the truth. It felt like pure misery, being so close to Gus and yet so distant, but she'd never settle for anything less than true love from her husband. If things didn’t change soon, she’d have to tell him. All they were doing now was wasting time when they should be enjoying life together instead.
She watched him ride away until he disappeared down the path and around some trees, so mired in her thoughts she didn’t hear Mandy come out and stand beside her.
“Your heart is breaking, I can tell,” she said softly.
“It is. I love him so much. I get so jealous when he works with you. You aren’t attracted to him as well, are you?”
“Goodness, no. And he's never been anything except brotherly with me. I can tell by the way he works so hard at not noticing you that he still cares for you.” She hugged Lily around the shoulders. “He’ll come around,” she said.
Gus returned two days later with two cans of paint, another derringer, and ammunition. Lily wondered what they’d ever have done without Gus Tanner's help. They decided they’d invite him for dinner as soon as they had the cupboards painted.
Gus taught Mandy how to drive the wagon first. The next day he came to teach Lily. He prayed for the strength to be close to her without grabbing her and kissing her. Thankfully, Lily acted appropriately by not doing anything that would tempt him further.
Gus figured that her having been a saloon woman, and having given herself freely to that cowboy, he had no idea what to expect from her anymore. He had written to Emma for over a year, and he knew her well, but he realized he hadn't known Lily at all until the day she stepped off that train.
One thing he knew for sure, she still had the power to make him want her. If he could just hold out a little longer, the temptation would soon come to an end. Once they'd learned how to ride, drive the wagon, and shoot their guns, he wouldn’t have the need to ride out to the cottage anymore.
“Are you ladies secure enough in driving the wagon to drive it to church tomorrow?” Gus asked after he'd finished his lesson with Lily. “Because if not, I can stop by for you.”
“We’ll try it,” Mandy said. “I think we can manage between the two of us.”
Gus nodded. “Good. I’ll stop by sometime next week and give Lily some horseback riding lessons. See you in church tomorrow.” He turned to start walking toward his horse.
“Gus, wait!” Lily called to him.
Gus stopped and turned her way.
Lily seemed to hesitate. She approached him, and his heart leapt with anticipation. He reminded himself of his vow to keep his distance, and put on a serious face. Why had she called to him? What was she thinking?
“I-I wanted you to know how much Mandy and I appreciate all you’ve done,” she said finally.
He nodded and mounted his horse. With another quick nod, he rode off, feeling quite relieved. Judging by the tone of Lily’s frantic call for him to wait, he thought she was about to do or say something to tempt him instead.
Mandy and Lily pulled on a chicken wishbone. Lily wound up with the short end. It was decided: Mandy was to drive the wagon to church and Lily was to drive it home.
They made it to Morton’s barn for the church service with only a single, minor mishap on the way. The road leading to Morton’s had a wooden bridge that crossed over a creek. The horse had refused to step off the path and onto the wooden surface of the bridge until Lily jumped down and led the horse over the bridge.
Gus was late for church that day. He’d never been late for church before, but that morning one of his mares had trouble dropping her foal and he had hung back to help her. The foal was turned the wrong way, and he’d had a terrible time twisting the baby around, but after hours of struggling, the foal was finally born and was doing well.
After cleaning up, he rushed to the Mortons', arriving just as the sermon began and the congregation was singing the beginning song. He frowned when he noticed the only empty seat was next to Lily.
This day just keeps getting better and better, he thought.
He slid into the seat beside her as Simon Morton was asking them to bow their heads in prayer. It was a welcome diversion that kept him from having to greet either Lily or Mandy.
He nodded to both of them when the prayer had ended, and then faced the front of the church. The scent of lilac—Lily's scent—drifted his way, smelling so sweet and soft, it made him want to lean all the more closer to her.
He prayed for strength and managed to muster some. Things would have been so different had they married when he'd wanted them to. If she were his wife, he’d put his arm around the back of her seat and smile warmly at her.
When her arm brushed his as she straightened her bonnet, he felt the hair on his arms stand on end. He tried to inch away, but he was already sitting at the edge of the bench.
Lily tried to listen carefully to Simon Morton’s sermon. She had begun to develop a growing interest in these sermons. Though Gus sitting right next to her posed a distraction, but she persevered. She felt the warmth of his body on her shoulder, and she could smell the soap he’d used. She did her best to exhibit poise, and pretend his being so close didn’t bother her at all. Lily forced herself to focus on the sermon, and from that point on; she’d almost forgotten that Gus was sitting beside her.
Forgiveness happened to be the lesson of the sermon, and Simon Morton gave various examples of Jesus’ forgiveness. He reiterated the biblical story of Jesus forgiving the thief on the cross. When Lily heard it, it nearly brought tears to her eyes.
A thief! Lily thought it a bad thing for a person to be; yet Jesus forgave him. She yearned to hear more about Jesus.
Morton continued on with another Bible story about an adulteress who was going to be stoned by the townspeople. Jesus told them to stop, and said to them, “Let he that is without sin cast the first stone,” and his words stopped the crowd from stoning the woman.
Lily dug into her pocket, and took out her handkerchief to dab her eyes lightly.
Gus looked over and noticed Lily’s tears after hearing the story of the adulteress. He thought it was because she felt guilty. Though she hadn’t committed adultery, she had engaged in fornication.
But she did come back to Hunter’s Grove without the cowboy. Did she hope he’d forgive her and continue their relationship? He supposed he’d already forgiven her, but how could he be expected to continue with their relations
hip? God instructs us to forgive, but not to forget, and he just couldn’t get past her relationship with that cowboy in Abilene.
When the service was over, Simon Morton announced, “The outside construction of our church is finished. God has blessed us, indeed. I’d also like to announce that we've been approved for hiring a minister, and the home office has chosen James Flannery. James has been a faithful visiting minister to Hunter’s Grove for three years, and he’ll make a fine first minister of our church.”
The congregation applauded. Gus clapped loudest of all. He was positively elated James had gotten the job!
Immediately after the congregation was dismissed he went to talk to Simon.
Gus said not a single word to Lily that morning. As she drove home, the stubborn horse refused to cross the bridge once again. Mandy had to get out and lead him this time.
Lily used the time to think about her situation with Gus on the remainder of the ride home, and she decided he needed a bit of help to realize his true feelings. From then on she wouldn’t be coy and ladylike, but would try to entice him a bit instead.
If that didn’t work, she figured she might as well pack up and go back to St. Joseph.
Chapter 14
Since Mandy already knew how to ride a horse, Lily became Gus’s only student. He felt sure he could teach her how to ride in no more than a few days. Then he’d be free from worrying about them, and free from the temptation that was Lily Brewer.
First, he taught her how to saddle the horse, and how to rub it down and brush it after riding. Next, he had her touch the horse in order to become more familiar with it. He’d chosen a very docile mare for Lily to ride. Mandy’s horse was also biddable. Both horses had outgrown their use for breeding.
“What’s her name?” Lily asked. She looked up at him with these big, brown eyes that nearly melted Gus's heart. He forced himself to look quickly away, and busied himself by tightening the stirrups.
