by Barbara Goss
“She has no name,” he said, as he walked around to tighten the other stirrup.
“She has to have a name. I won’t know what to call her otherwise.” Lily stroked the horse’s mane.
“You can name her whatever you want.”
“She’s brown and very shiny, with big brown eyes. I think I’ll name her Gaia.”
“Gaia?” Gus asked as he came around to the head of the horse. “What kind of name is that?”
“Gaia is the Greek Goddess of Earth,” Lily explained.
“Oh,” Gus said. “Gaia it is then.”
Lily stroked Gaia fondly, and the horse nibbled on her shoulder. Lily squealed in delight.
“Now, I want you to mount the horse,” Gus instructed. He had to get her to stop fondling the horse—it made him wish she were stroking his hair instead of the horse's.
Lily looked up at the horse and said, “How do I do that?”
Gus wanted as little physical contact with Lily as he could manage, yet he couldn’t think of a way he'd be able to get her up on Gaia without touching her. He thought about it for a few moments, and then got an idea.
He dragged over an old milking stool. “Here you go. Stand on this and put your left leg into the stirrup, then swing your right leg over and into the right stirrup.”
Lily was wearing a loose-fitting cotton dress, which wasn't exactly what you'd call proper riding apparel, and getting onto the horse posed a problem for her. How would she ever be able to mount the horse without showing him any leg?
Lily simply stood there staring at Gus, as if she was wondering the exact same thing.
“I can’t,” she said.
“Sure you can," Gus said, trying to sound confident. "Try it.”
Lily stood on the milking stool and was able to reach the stirrup with her left foot, but that left her standing on her right foot on tippy-toe. She balanced precariously. “Isn't there something I can hold onto before I have to swing my other leg up?”
Gus realized what he’d forgotten to tell her. “Before you swing your leg up, grab the saddle horn,” he instructed.
“What's a saddle horn?”
Gus pointed to the saddle horn. “Here it is.”
Awkwardly stretched, still trying to maintain her balance, Lily grabbed ahold of the saddle horn, lifted her leg up to swing it over the horse, and lost her balance, falling backwards.
Gus quickly reached out to grab her. It felt so good to hold her in his arms again that he almost forgot to let go. He gently helped her to right herself onto the stool.
“Try again.”
“I can’t do it,” Lily whined. Her forehead creased with frustration. “Can't you help me?”
Gus sighed. “All right,” he said.
After her foot slid into the stirrup and she grabbed hold of the saddle horn, Gus took her by the waist and helped her up until she was sitting atop Gaia's back at last.
“Oh my!” she said. “I’m up so high.”
“Now,” Gus said, taking the reins, “for today, I’ll lead the horse around the yard. Hang onto the saddle horn and get comfortable being on Gaia.” Gus looked away as he tried not to notice that her dress had ridden up to reveal her long, slim legs, almost to the knees. He wondered again if teaching Lily to ride wasn’t a mistake.
Gus paced the horse for about thirty minutes, before bringing her back to the barn. “That’s enough for today," he told Lily. "You can dismount now.”
Lily looked down at him. “Dismount? Alone?”
“I’ll fetch the milking stool.”
“I’ll need more help than that, Gus.”
“I’ll help today, but you have to learn. I won’t always be there to help you.”
“I’ll learn. I think I’ll buy a pair of pants like yours to use for riding. I'm sure I'd be able to maneuver much better without this dress.”
Gus said, “Remove your right foot from the stirrup, swing it over Gaia, now slide your whole body down except for your left foot, which you'll keep in the stirrup, while leaning on the horse. When you feel the stool, you can remove your left foot from the stirrup.”
Lily tried to follow his instructions, and her right foot successfully touched the stool, but then she forgot to remove her left foot from the stirrup, and she lost her balance again. This time her foot twisted coming out of the left stirrup, spinning her around, and she fell forward and into Gus’s arms.
Gus couldn’t help himself. He grabbed her and squeezed her close. As he hugged her he kissed the top of her head, he realized he didn’t want to ever let her go. They stood like that for several seconds before Gus took a step back, just far enough to get a good look at her.
“This should never have happened,” he said. “I’m so sorry.” He felt such a huge lump in his throat that he could hardly get the words out.
Lily smiled coyly. “I’m not sorry,” she said. She batted her long lashes. “I’m glad you were there or I’d have fallen on my face.”
Gus gazed into her eyes and practically whispered, “You know I shouldn’t be holding you like this.”
Lily started to back away. “I’m sorry, I'll move—”
Gus tightened his hold on her. “No," he whispered. "I don’t want you to.”
“Let me hold you for a moment more.” Gus continued to hold her closely, his eyes closed tightly. He inhaled her lilac fragrance, which added to the ethereal feel of her body so close to his.
He leaned away from her, just enough so he could see her face. He gazed into her expressive brown eyes and gently caressed her cheek. She was so lovely. He reached out and brushed aside a curl that had escaped her bun.
“Gus,” she said, returning his gaze, “you know I didn’t ask to be kidnapped. I was prepared to give you my answer when you picked me up for dinner, but Maud’s men came and took me first. My answer would have been yes, but not before I'd explained how I came to be in Hunter’s Grove instead of Emma.”
The reality of what he believed to have happened in Abilene broke the spell he’d been under, and he released her.
He turned and started to remove the saddle. “Now, watch how I do this,” he said as if nothing had just happened between them.
Lily smiled to herself as she watched him remove the saddle and bridle. He still cared, she'd felt it. He wasn't doing a very good job of hiding it. Should she tell him now? Should she wait?
Chapter 15
“What a lovely day! Let’s take the horses out for a ride!” Lily suggested to Mandy after the breakfast dishes had been washed and put away.
“But you haven’t learned to ride yet. You've had only one lesson.” Mandy said.
“I’m a fast learner.” Lily winked.
Mandy gasped. “You know how to ride?”
Lily nodded.
“Why, you little pistol. You just wanted to be close to Gus?”
Lily nodded. “He still cares; I can feel it. I need to invent ways to show him that he still loves me.”
“Well, your secret's safe with me,” Mandy said.
“My sister-in-law, Emma, taught me how to ride at the age of ten. Her family owns a whole stable of horses.”
“We need riding clothes,” Mandy said, pulling at her cotton dress.
“Why don’t we take the wagon into town and buy some pants. I doubt the general store would have equestrian outfits,” Lily said.
That afternoon, dressed in black pants and a red plaid shirt, Lily mounted Gaia so smoothly; she fancied that even Gaia looked at her in surprise.
Mandy was wearing blue pants and a blue plaid shirt. They'd originally been men’s garments, but Mandy had altered the clothes to fit them.
“Did you name your horse yet?” Lily asked.
Mandy looked at the horse thoughtfully. “I think I’ll name her Tilly. She looks a little like my aunt Matilda.” Mandy laughed.
They trotted their horses behind the house and barn where there were acres of fields and only a few scattered trees.
“I’ll race you to the
tree yonder,” Mandy said, pointing. Both girls put their heels into the horses and galloped toward the tree, their hair flowing behind them as they raced. Mandy was first to reach the tree.
“Darn,” Lily said. “These horses are slow and old. Mine's already panting.”
“We’ll let them rest a while, and then race back,” Mandy said.
Gus couldn’t stop thinking about Lily and how wonderful she’d felt in his arms. He decided he could be stubborn and overly traditional and end up lonely, or he could loosen his standards a bit and marry the woman he loved, despite her relationship with the cowboy. He supposed it didn’t matter who'd possessed her first; it was who'd possessed her last that counted.
He'd wasted all that precious time he could've been spending with her—all because of that dang cowboy who probably seduced young women as a hobby. Lily would have been easy prey for him, and because she was so sweet and innocent, been easily misled by a man like Harley. If she’d cared at all for the cowboy, she’d have stayed in Abilene. Lily came back to Hunter’s Grove for a reason.
He wasn’t sure how he’d go about fixing their relationship, but he thought today’s riding lesson might open him up to the opportunity to forget Lily’s past and look to the future. If she fell into his arms the next time, he’d not let her go.
When Gus trotted up to the house that day, he noticed the horses were not in the barn, and a bit of a panic rose up in him. Could Lily have tried to go out and ride on her own?
He rode back behind the house and scanned the landscape looking for her, and saw two riders racing in the distance, their hair billowing behind them.
They were wearing pants! He moved his horse a little closer to the riders. When he stopped, and recognized them, he simply stared.
“Uh oh,” Mandy said, as they were giving their horses a rest after a frisky race.
“Uh oh, what?” Lily asked, petting Gaia’s mane.
“There’s Gus,” she said, pointing.
Lily spun around to look. “Oh dear. How much do you think he saw?”
“By the look on his face? Everything.”
“What should I do?” Lily felt herself begin to panic.
“He’s coming this way, and he doesn’t look happy, Lily.”
Lily watched him approach, biting her lip nervously.
With a face that looked formidable, Gus brought his horse head-to-head with Lily’s, and said none too gently, “You knew how to ride all along?”
Lily nodded.
Mandy made a grimace, turned her horse, and galloped back to the house leaving Lily to face Gus alone.
Gus remained speechless; he shook his head.
“I just wanted to be close to you again,” Lily said, trying to explain.
Gus frowned. He tallied his next words on the fingers of his hand: “You came to Hunter’s Grove posing as Emma, you agreed to marry me, but then you slept with that cowboy in Abilene, and now you lied about riding a horse. I can’t believe anything you say or do, Lily. Trust is the most important factor in a relationship, and I don’t feel that at all with you.”
“Please, let me explain, Gus," Lily pleaded. "Nothing happened in Abilene with Harley, nothing more than a few kisses.”
“Stop!” Gus said, holding up his hand. “No more lies or pretenses. You have a wagon, guns, horses, and you know how to use them; you don’t need me any longer.
"Goodbye, Lily.” Gus turned his horse set out on a gallop toward the cottage.
Lily followed him, but Gus didn’t stop at the house. He continued on down the road instead.
Lily felt sick to her stomach. If she hadn't have known before, she knew now that she’d ruined any chance she might have had with Gus, and she might as well go back to St. Joseph.
Gus galloped home feeling furious, trying desperately to not take his anger out on his horse. Lily had made him look foolish once more, teaching her to ride when she was an accomplished rider all along. How could someone so beautiful and so lovely be so untrustworthy? How could he ever build a relationship with her?
Though he still thought he loved her despite everything, he also thought it best if he tried to forget her, rather than give in to his strong need and desire to marry her.
After he stabled his horse, he sat on his porch for a while, his head buried in his hands. He had no idea what to do. He was in love, there was no doubt about that, but how could he possibly think of a serious relationship, like marriage, if he couldn’t believe her? If she’d just admit she’d been intimate with that cowboy, he would at least try to get over it.
Still, she’d lied about never having ridden a horse before in order to be close to him. Though it was wrong of her to lie, and she'd wound up making him look foolish, it was nevertheless endearing. And while the thought of marrying her was distasteful to him because he felt he couldn’t trust her, the thought of never seeing her again made his heart feel as if it were being ripped from his chest.
The sound of an approaching rider drew him from his intense thoughts. He looked up to see James.
James Flannery jumped off his horse, bounded up the porch steps, and slapped Gus on the back.
“I got the job!" he said. "I’m to be the new minister. I start on the first of the month.”
“Congratulations!" Gus said, shaking his friend's hand. " Welcome back, James!
“You’ll stay with me?”
“If you’ll have me.”
“No question about that.”
James’s smile faded. “I’ve heard from my father, so we have a lot to talk about. I’m sorry about what happened with Emma.”
“Don’t be. Something better came out of it. I fell in love with Lily Brewer when I still thought she was Emma. The whole thing's quite the mess, really.”
“But Lily's back in Hunter’s Grove, so things must've straightened themselves out. I can’t wait to see her.”
Gus frowned. “We’re still working on sorting out the muddle.”
“I’ve known Lily since she's worn nappies. She’s a wonderful, spirited, young lady now,” James said.
“Spirited? I guess you could call it that,” Gus said, standing. “Let’s get you some supper. We’ll have plenty of time to talk in the days to come.”
After a quickly cooked dinner of scrambled eggs and ham, they sat on the porch with coffee while Gus told James the whole story. James listened intently and didn’t interrupt until Gus came to the part about Lily pretending she’d never ridden a horse, at which point James laughed. Gus gave him a frown.
“Sorry, Gus, but that is so Lily. She’s always been a mischievous girl. I remember once, our family packed the buggy to go on vacation. We got about halfway there and discovered Lily hiding under the seat. She must have been about eight or ten—can’t recall exactly. We didn’t know what to do except return to St. Joseph, since her father would be looking for her.
“How far had you gone?”
“About twenty miles!”
Gus shook his head, but smiled when he pictured little Lily hiding under the seat.
“She was a character as a child, yet I always felt sympathy for her,” James said.
“Sympathy? For Lily? Seems to me that she’s had a pretty fortunate life.”
“Her father wasn’t always rich; his store grew through the years to become successful, but that isn’t what I felt sorry about. Emma and I were raised differently. We went to church and that was coupled with good parental guidance. We were one of the richest families in our social circle, but we didn’t realize it as kids. Our parents taught us much about life. They taught us the value of money, and they taught us to work, and work hard for it. Religion became the centerpiece of our home. Everything we did revolved around God. We had family devotions, and we prayed together.
"Lily had none of that. Her father seemed a difficult man, and he didn’t give Lily and Charles any religion at all. We tried, repeatedly, to get Lily to join us at church, but she refused.
"Charles was much easier to reach. He had a crush
on Emma and he later admitted that he accepted our invitations to church only to be near her, but God sometimes uses the attraction of the opposite sex to draw people to Him. Charles has been a faithful God-fearing man for years now.”
“Lily’s been going to church here,” Gus said.
“No kidding? That’s surprising! I’m glad, but I wonder if she's just going to be near you,” James said with a wink.
“I don’t know, James. I love her, but I can’t get past her deceit.” Gus had left out the part of the story about Lily being intimate with Harley Ward; that part was personal. “She lied about being Emma. She lied about not being able to ride a horse…I don't know if I can trust her. Imagine how foolish I felt after learning all my riding lessons were pointless. And when I arrived in Abilene, I found her working in a saloon. A saloon, of all places! And she was standing there in this flashy dress and wearing tons of makeup…a man had his arm around her and told me she was his...”
“I see your point, but from a different angle. You see, both times she lied for a reason. She pretended to be Emma because her father was forcing her to be courted by a man she despised. She saw the opportunity to escape, and she took it. She would have told you the truth before long; I know she would have.
"As for being a saloon woman, Lily must have needed money and sought out the only job she could find. She had to survive somehow.
"She lied about not knowing how to ride because she wanted to try to rekindle the flame you two once had.”
Gus thought hard on James’s words, and then realized that everything he'd said made sense. “Thank you, James," Gus said. "I really needed a different perspective on the situation.” Gus wished he could tell James about Harley Ward, but he couldn’t find it in his heart do that to Lily.
“Remember, Gus, the example God chose to give us in the Bible? The story about the adulteress? The story doesn’t exactly fit Lily’s situation, but the point is, as sinners, what right have we to condemn someone else’s sin? Being a saloon woman is not a sin, but some of the things that go on in saloons…well, they might be. Regardless, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”
