To be Maria

by Deanna Proach

  A few people linger outside of the roller dome. It is easy to see them because they are all wearing plastic wrist and neck bracelets that glow florescent pink, yellow, purple and green in the dark. Florescent colored wigs adorn few of the peoples' heads. Music, as loud as the music inside of Solas Night Club, can be heard from inside of the building.

  As soon as Alex parks the car, he says, "I'll pay for everyone." Some of the edge has gone out of his voice, but not all of it.

  Anya can still tell that he’s angry. "Sure. Thanks," is all she can say.

  Neither Marissa or Maria respond to him.

  The four of them are met in the foyer by two bouncers: one beefy man whose head is shaved almost bald, and a taller, thin man who boasts a head full of long, bushy brown hair. Neither of them is physically attractive, yet they do not give off demeaning vibes. In fact, they greet the three young women with smiles. Neither of them seems to wonder about the brace around Anya's neck. Regardless, their welcoming attitude dispels all of the anxiety inside of her.

  "Ten bucks please," the burly man says to Alex. His voice is not as vibrant as the look on his face, Anya can tell. Maybe that's because of Alex's presence.

  "I'll give you forty. I'm paying for these three lovely ladies tonight," Alex says, shoving two twenty dollar bills into the man's outstretched hand.

  Anya arches her right eyebrow. Do I detect a hint of jealousy here?

  "Thanks man," he says, nodding curtly at Alex.

  "Yeah. Come on, ladies."

  Ignoring the bewildered look on the bouncer's face, Anya follows them onto the rink, but somehow, she gets separated from them in the process. The only lights that brighten the large space are the emergency lights, but even they are dim. Fast paced dance music blares from speakers that are presumably attached to two corners of the dome, high enough where people can't reach them. The music overrides every conversation on the rink.

  Anya's eyes scan the entire area. It is full of people. Their necks and wrists are adorned with the plastic glow-in-the-dark bands. Several of them even wear florescent colored wigs. The room is not too dark for Anya to notice that most of these people are under the age of twenty-one. Some of them, she guesses, are even a few years younger than she is. Most of the young women are dressed very casually. A few of them even walk around in baggy pajama pants and oversized hoodies. Anya could feel out of place in her fancy dress, but she doesn’t. She feels good about the way she looks, regardless of how everyone around her is dressed. She pulls down the zipper of her coat, then shrugs it off. Marissa is right. No one stares at her indifferently. A few young men who pass by even welcome her with whistles and playful smiles. No one seems to notice the brace around her neck. If they do, they don't care.

  "So, what do you think?" Marissa says from behind.

  Anya twirls around on her high heels. She admits that Marissa looks equally stunning in her black halter dress. "You're right. The people here are so care free."

  Marissa smiles at her. "Having fun?"

  "Yes." Anya's eyes fall to her coat. "Where can I put this?"

  "Give it to me," she says, taking it from her.

  A pang of anxiety beats against Anya's chest. "Where are you gonna put it?"

  "Come with me," Marissa says, nodding her head in the direction of the entry way.

  "Okay," Anya says with a shrug of her shoulders. Out of the corner of her right eye, she spots Maria talking to a young man. She must have seen Anya, because she calls her name. Anya makes her way over to where Maria is standing, leaving Marissa on her own. Maria is clad in the same dress she wore at Solas Night Club and her black curls fall around her shoulders in a tidy fashion. The young man can’t peel his eyes away from her bare chest. He is tall and lean in stature, and his tattooed arms feature reasonably sized biceps, like Alex. His head boasts a three inch long Mohawk that runs from the top of his forehead to the nape of his neck. The sides of his head are shaved almost bald. Despite the Mohawk, he is quite handsome.

  "Where is Marissa going?" Maria says.

  "To hang up my coat." She keeps her eyes fixed on Maria. Even that skimpy dress does not detract from her natural beauty.

  "Jason, this is my friend, Anya."

  For once, he takes his eyes off of Maria and focuses them on Anya. Anya knows what is going through his mind the moment a huge grin appears on his face.

  "Hi, Anya," he says, extending his hand to her.

  "Uh…hello." She becomes aware of her dress's plunging neckline. But then, her eyes are drawn to Maria's exposed breasts. Gee, if Maria doesn't care about how she looks, then I shouldn't either. This is what I’ve always wanted: sexy clothes, admiration and popularity. And now, I finally have all these things. I'm friends with one of the most gorgeous, sought-after woman, and a cute guy is admiring me. Enjoy it and live for the moment.

  "So, what happened to your neck?"

  She is brought back to reality in a very abrupt way. There is no way she can tell him what really happened. "I lost my footing on a patch of ice and fell," she says.

  He flinches. "Wow. That must have hurt. How long do you have to wear that neck brace?"

  "Well, the doctor told me that I have to wear it for at least three weeks. That was two weeks ago. My neck is starting to feel a lot better, so next week, it'll come off."

  "Well, you look really good in that dress," he says. The way he smiles at her is obvious that he is thinking about more than just her dress.

  "Thank you," Anya says, realizing that she is blushing deeply.

  "There you are," Marissa yells.

  Anya whirls around. She can’t help but notice the annoyed look on Marissa's face. And Marissa is not alone. Some young woman, who Anya has never met before, is standing beside Marissa. She is so short that if Anya removed her shoes, she would still stand an inch taller than that woman. Her thick, dark hair looks like it has been straightened by a flat iron. The skin-tight, ocean blue dress she is wearing reveals an athletic build and a pair of large breasts.

  "Charisse, these are my new friends, Anya, Maria and..."

  "Jason." His voice rings above the noise in the room.

  Charisse shakes Anya's hand briskly.

  Anya continues to study her. "I've never met you before. Are you Marissa's coworker?"

  Charisse surveys her coldly. "Yes." She then turns her attention over to Jason and Marissa, giving Anya no chance to say anything more to her.

  Her rude behavior takes Anya by complete surprise. She turns around so that she doesn't feel left out. But the moment her eyes fall on the group of people, she catches Charisse flirting with Jason. Jason appears to enjoy her company despite the fact that he's surrounded by three other attractive young women. Charisse talks to him and Marissa, but ignores Anya and Maria. Her snooty attitude infuriates Anya and she can tell that Maria is feeling the same way by the way she glares at Charisse.

  Anya inches closer to Maria. "Let's go find other men."

  Maria's eyes flash with anger. "Hell no. That bitch can be the one who leaves."

  Anya gasps. I sure hope she didn't hear that. She steals a glance at Charisse. She is still deep in conversation with Jason, but Marissa’s gaze connects with theirs.

  "Hey, guys, let's move to the center of the rink," she says.

  "Okay," Anya says. Why? How is the center of the rink better than this spot? And doesn't it bother you that your friend is so nasty? she wants to ask. But she keeps her mouth shut and follows them in silence.

  "Where is Alex?" Maria says once they find an empty spot between two groups of people.

  Anya scans the rink once more. She can’t find him anywhere. Fear grips her stomach. What if he decided to leave? How would we get back to his apartment?

  "I don't see him anywhere," Maria says, sounding irritated.

  "Oh, he's around. He's probably somewhere talking to a bunch of his friends," Marissa says.

  ****

  Alex stares hard at his comrade, Terri. Terri is a short man, quite robust in statu
re. His black hair is shaved almost bald and his dark eyes are full of malice. He has been Alex's best man since he joined The Dark Soul gang. For a twenty-four-year-old high school dropout, Terri is intelligent. He’s also ruthless. Since former gang leader, "Big Boss" Mendoza went to prison three years ago, Terri has been the one who rooted out threats against The Dark Soul. Under his guidance, Alex and the other members succeeded in crushing their enemies. But now, the threat has become more serious. Adrik and his thugs are determined to find their grow-op, and they won’t stop until they have killed every member of The Dark Soul, including everyone related to Dark Soul members. To make matters worse, this threat has crept into The Dark Soul gang, dividing members.

  Earlier today, Alex found out that Max, a fellow gangster, had leaked information regarding their operation to a relative of a Blood Night member. When confronted, Max insisted that he didn't do the deed, but neither Alex nor Terri believed him. They tied him to a chair, beat him until his entire face was covered in blood. When he still didn't confess, Terri sliced off Max's left index finger with his Swiss Army knife. Alex knew, as he watched Max sprawled out on the cold ground, bleeding and screaming in pain, that if he allowed him to live, Max would fuel Adrik's hatred for Alex. The decision was easy. Alex pulled out his gun and shot him twice; once in the temple, then in the stomach for good measure.

  Alex and Terri have spent all afternoon and evening driving and digging. Max's body needed to be disposed of and hidden where no one could find him. And that is what they did. By the time Alex arrived home, he was exhausted, irritated and worried.

  The anxiety continues to burn inside of him. He is worried that if he tells Maria and Anya the entire story, they will leave. He is, to a large degree, concerned that they would either report him to the police or spill the wrong information to a friend or relative of a Blood Night member. But he's also worried about not having them around anymore.

  In the short time he's known them, he has grown quite fond of them. Maria is so bold and forthright. With her, what you see is what you get. She is not afraid to speak her mind. Her beauty and the way she flaunts it, makes her personality all the more desirable. Anya is also attractive and she reminds Alex so much of himself. Like him, she is also an underdog, struggling to belong in a cruel world that only values conformity. But she is as meek as a church mouse and every time she looks at him, her brown eyes haunt him. Those eyes make him feel as if he is staring at a ghost from the distant past. At times, they have chilled him to the bone. Most of the time, though, they have left Alex wanting, yearning to return to that state of innocence. Anya possesses a powerful uniqueness that is both daunting and admirable. That is what draws him to her.

  Alex realizes that he can’t live without them. He needs them. He wants them. They are his bosom pals. His love for them is almost stronger than his love for Marissa. That’s why he withheld the truth from them.

  CHAPTER 31

  "What are we gonna do about Adrik?" Alex says to Terri. Cold fury dances in his eyes. It hides the fear that he's feeling on the inside, but does not replace it.

  Terri stares back at him. His eyes are ablaze with hatred. "We find the bastard, kill him and then bury him in a remote area like we did with everyone else we killed."

  The thought of a bullet penetrating the soft skin in Adrik's forehead between his eyes gives Alex a feeling of wicked satisfaction, but that is short lived. "How are we gonna accomplish this? He's always surrounded by the toughest men, so I heard."

  "What the hell are you talkin’ about, Alex?" Terri yells. "We're the toughest sons-of-bitches around. Ain't no one gonna mess with us."

  Alex looks at him incredulously. "Yeah, we're tough guys, Terri. But there are lots of them and only two of us. You saw what happened today. We can't even trust our own men anymore."

  "Then, we kill them all."

  Alex rakes his fingers through his hair. The thought of having to kill his own men chills him to the bone. He has come to like and respect them over these past eight years. But this is a gang. In this business, no one is a friend. To keep himself, Maria, Anya, Marissa and his operation safe, he must act now. If this action involves the murder of his fellow gang members, he must do it. In order to avenge Adrik and the Blood Night gang and survive, he will have to arm himself heavily. One gun is not enough.

  "Okay. We'll kill them. But we need guns that are more powerful. We need to think quicker on our feet, and we need to be more devious," he says.

  "Alex man, I can find a way to follow them without being shot dead," Terri says, punching the palm of his hand.

  Alex purses his lips. We're going to have to find a way out of this city quick in case our plan fails.

  "Talkin' about us, bitches?" a fierce voice speaks from behind. Alex almost instantly recognizes that voice. It belongs to Ryan, that pasty, twenty-three-year-old skin head who belongs to the Blood Night gang. On impulse, Alex whips his gun out of his coat pocket, then turns around to face him. He aims the barrel at Ryan's pale face. Alex always makes sure that his gun is fully loaded.

  In the dimly lit alley, Alex can easily see that Ryan is accompanied by two brawny, white men.

  "What the--" Alex ends Ryan's statement with the release of the trigger. Even in the dark, he can see that the bullet has penetrated Ryan's chest. The gun slips out of Ryan's hand. It lands on the cold, hard pavement the same time his dead body hits the ground. Alex manages to plant another two bullets in the chest of the thick-set man who is standing on Ryan's left side. At the same time, another gunshot explodes in Alex's ear. It is from Terri's gun. That bullet kills the third man the instant it penetrates his forehead.

  Alex scans the alley from one end to the other, afraid that at any second, the sound of sirens will end the silence. But there is no sound and the smell of blood and death fills the air around them.

  "We gotta get out of here now," Terri says.

  Alex snaps his head in Terri's direction. "We can't leave these bodies here."

  Terri glares at him. "What the hell do you take me for, Alex?"

  "Where's your truck?"

  "Around the corner of the building. Are you gonna help me carry the bodies?"

  "Yeah. Of course," Alex says, reaching down to grab Ryan's foot.

  ****

  Anya eyes the marijuana inside the plastic lunch bag that Marissa has just pulled out of her purse. She knows that everyone else is eyeing the solid green substance, their minds keen on getting their evening fix. No one seems to notice the astonished look on her face; that is until Charisse asks, "have you never seen marijuana before, kid?"

  Anya's gaze darts from the marijuana to Charisse. "Yes I have actually." Are you addicted to bitch pills? she wants to ask, but she bites down hard on her lower lip.

  "Are you going to have a puff or two with us?" Marissa says, ending the tension between them.

  "Sure," Anya says. She can feel a gentle nudge in her left forearm. She shifts her body slightly so she can see the proud grin on Maria's face. She grins back at her. But then, she catches a glimpse of Alex out of the corner of her left eye. He is running towards them, his face wild with anxiety.

  "Marissa. Maria. Anya. We have to go. Now," he says, struggling to keep his voice level.

  "But baby, we just--"

  "Don't argue with me, Marissa. Hide that in your purse," he says through clenched teeth.

  "Dude. What's going on?" Jason says.

  Anya's heart begins to race. Yes. What is going on?

  "Where are your coats?" he says, ignoring Jason's question.

  "Hanging on the coat rack behind where the bouncers are standing," Marissa says.

  "Let's get them and go. Now!" He half drags Marissa through the crowd of inquisitive rave goers.

  Anya and Maria follow close behind.

  ****

  Alex leaves the parking lot just in time. When he peers in the rear view mirror, he can see the flashing red and blue lights of police cars in the distance. He can even hear the rise and fall of
their sirens. A cold sweat breaks out on his forehead and under his armpits. So, we weren't alone in the back alley. Someone heard our guns go off and then called the cops. Then, another thought crosses his mind. It sure took them a while to get to the roller dome. It took me and Terri almost five minutes to load the bodies onto his truck's bed and then, it took another few minutes for me to leave. So, maybe they're not heading for the roller dome. He pumps on his brakes until the vehicle almost comes to a halt. This time, he's thankful that there is no cover over the bed of his truck.

  "Maria, can you see if those cops are heading for the roller dome?"

  There are a few seconds of silence. For Alex, they are the most agonizing seconds he has experienced. His heart beats so hard against his chest, it hurts.

  "No. They've turned onto the street across from the roller dome," she says at last.

  Alex breathes out a long sigh. Phew. That was one close call. He steps on the gas pedal until the wheels of his truck are rolling at the speed limit.

  "Can you tell us what in God's name is going on?" Maria says, breaking the silence.

  Alex can detect the mixture of anger and fear in her voice. He knows he should tell her the entire truth, but he can't. It's much too dangerous. "I was threatened, that's all." He realizes how pathetic that remark sounds the moment it slips out of his mouth.

  "Now, who would want to threaten you?"

  He can detect the bitter sarcasm in that question.

  "Seriously, Alex, is that the best lie you can come up with?"