Hidden Trusts

by Jae

  She rushed forward — and collided with another man who had his eye on the bath.

  They stumbled back and stared at each other.

  Her bathing rival was a bit older and smaller than Luke. Salt-and-pepper hair stuck out beneath a brown hat. A buttoned coat bulged at the right hip, indicating that the stranger was armed.

  Then Luke's gaze traveled upward and found another bulge. Two bulges, to be exact. Luke blinked. He... she's a woman?

  Luke forgot about her bath as she stared at the stranger. Years ago, Tess had told her she knew others like her, but Luke had never met another woman who lived her life as a man.

  Was the stranger living in disguise? If she was, she needed a few lessons. She should at least wrap her chest and cut her hair shorter.

  "Go ahead," the stranger said. Her voice wasn't that of a man, and she didn't try to make it sound deeper. "I think you were here first." She swept her hand at the bathing cabin.

  Luke hesitated. She desperately wanted a bath, but decades of living as a man left her little choice. Nora sometimes teased her about her gentlemanly manners and warned her that one day, a damsel in distress would be her downfall. "After you, ma'am," she said and held her breath, waiting for the stranger's reaction to being called "ma'am."

  When the stranger smiled, her features softened, and there was no longer any doubt in Luke's mind. She was dealing with a woman. "It's not often that I get treated like a lady," the woman said. Her tone revealed that she didn't care. Steely brown eyes told Luke that the stranger could take care of herself. Still, a hint of vulnerability around her mouth remained.

  Luke could imagine how hard her life might be. The stranger wasn't welcome in saloons or as the owner of a business, because she was not a man and didn't try to pass as one. But looking like this, she also wasn't asked to participate in needle circles or attend the women's Bible study.

  She would never fit in, never be respected by anyone, have no family and no friends.

  Lord, I couldn't live like that. While she had been a loner in the past, now she would rather die than live without her family. Keeping her true gender secret and lying to her daughters was the price she had to pay.

  "Frankie?" a woman called. She stepped down from the boardwalk and opened her parasol before she crossed the street.

  Seems I was wrong about her not having any friends. Luke watched the woman approach. Even from the distance, her clothes and her movements revealed a lady of some standing. How had she come to be friends with the unusual Frankie?

  Luke took in the lady's lithe body and golden hair that held a few silver streaks. Blue eyes looked back at her with gentle interest — and then widened. The parasol fell out of the woman's hand. "L-Luke? Is that you?"

  "Tess?"

  Soft arms wrapped around her in a stranglehold.

  "Tess," Luke murmured into the ear of the only friend she'd had for many years.

  Finally, Tess moved back an inch and brushed her lips against Luke's, saying hello in her usual way as if seventeen days, not seventeen years, had passed since they had last seen each other.

  "I can't believe it," Luke said. A part of her had thought she would never see Tess again. They had exchanged many letters over the years, but she couldn't entrust her secrets to a piece of paper. "What are you doing here? Last I heard you were in Montana with that partner of yours, Frank."

  "Oh, we were. But when Frankie got sent to Oregon, we decided to pay you a visit. I didn't mention it in my last letter, because I didn't want to disappoint anyone in case Frankie's job took longer than expected. We sent off a letter to you yesterday, but we might make it to the ranch before the letter." Tess's gaze traveled to something or someone behind Luke. A smile formed on her full lips.

  Luke turned.

  The woman in men's clothes watched them, her head cocked to one side.

  Oh. Realization dawned, and Luke found herself staring. That's Frank? Frankie? Tess's companion, the person who shares her life, is a woman? So Tess was equally reluctant to entrust her secrets to a letter that might fall into the wrong hands.

  "We have some catching up to do," Tess said. "Are you staying in town for a few days? Is Nora here too?" She looked around for her old friend.

  "No," Luke said. Nora's absence was like a constant nagging ache. She longed to wrap her arms around Nora and feel the wild whirl of emotions inside her calm. "Nora is at home, taking care of the ranch, while I'm driving a herd of horses to Fort Boise. I'm just staying in The Dalles until first light tomorrow morning."

  Tess rested her hand in the bend of Luke's arm. "Oh, don't worry. We'll have all the time in the world to talk when you get back. We're staying a few weeks if that's all right with you and Nora. We're even thinking about settling down in Oregon."

  Luke clutched the hand on her arm. The thought of her old friend living nearby wiped away her exhaustion. She grinned broadly. "Really?"

  "We haven't made a final decision yet. Frankie has some things to wrap up in town, and then we'll travel west to visit your family. I'm eager to meet Amy and Nattie."

  Another heavy weight dropped from Luke's shoulders. Tess could make sure Nora and the girls were all right.

  "Boss?" Phin called from across the street. He stopped in front of them and stared at Frankie and Tess with a less than welcoming expression.

  Luke's relief waned. Concern stirred in her belly. If her ranch hands saw her with a woman who dressed like a man, they might get a few ideas about her too. Things they had never questioned before would begin to make sense when they compared her to Frankie.

  But Phin wasn't looking at Frankie. His gaze was fixed on Tess. "I don't want to interrupt, but..."

  "It's all right," Luke said. "This is an old friend of mine, Tess Swenson."

  "I'm not that old." Tess gave them a wink.

  True. The years had been kind to Tess. She was still a beautiful woman. Only a few wrinkles around her mouth and eyes told the story of her hard life. "This is Phineas Sharpe, my foreman."

  After some hesitation, Phin tipped his hat and then turned to Luke. "The livery stable's hay looks moldy to me. I'm not sure we can feed it to the horses. Can you come take a look?"

  "Now?"

  Phin nodded.

  Luke turned a regretful glance at Tess.

  "We're staying at the hotel across the street." Tess pointed. "Come over and have supper with us when you're done. Just ask for Tess Swenson and her cousin."

  Cousin? Luke almost snorted. Frankie and Tess didn't look any more alike than she and Nora did. But they didn't have a choice. If they told people they were sweethearts, they'd be run out of town within seconds. At least Luke had spared Nora that kind of hiding when she had decided to keep living as a man.

  She followed Phin to the livery stable, her mind still reeling with the sudden reunion.

  One look at the hay in the livery stable had her glaring at Phin. "That hay is perfectly fine. Not even a hint of mold, and you knew that."

  "I wanted to make sure —"

  "Nonsense," Luke said. "I taught you better than that. You never needed me before to decide if the hay is safe for the horses. Why now?"

  Phin shuffled his feet. For a moment, he seemed like the awkward adolescent he had been when he had first come to the ranch.

  "I get a feeling you wanted to drag me away from my friend." Old feelings of protectiveness resurfaced. She never allowed others to treat Tess like anything but a lady. But Phin didn't know about Tess's past. To anyone looking at Tess, she would appear like a wealthy lady with a strange taste in traveling companions. "What's going on?"

  "Nothing," Phin said. "I just wonder..." He hesitated.

  "Yes? Come on. Spit it out, boy!" Luke's patience was running thin. Her time with Tess was short, and she didn't want to waste it.

  Phin looked up and into her eyes. "I wonder what Mrs. Hamilton would think of you meeting your 'old friend' at the hotel."

  Why would Nora have anything against me having supper with — oh! Laugh
ter bubbled up when Luke finally understood. "Phin," she said. "You know me better than that. In all the years of my marriage, I never even looked at another woman."

  "You kissed her," Phin said, a silent accusation in his voice.

  His defense of her marriage and of Nora's feelings warmed Luke's heart, but at the same time, it annoyed her that he doubted her faithfulness to Nora. Maybe I've upheld my manly image a little too well. Now my men think I'm a philanderer.

  "Tess is an old friend," she said. "She's Nora's friend too, and she greeted me that way long before I met Nora."

  "But she wasn't always just a friend, was she?"

  Impatient to end this line of conversation, Luke wanted to tell him it was none of his business, but she stopped herself. Phin was more than just a ranch hand. He was a part of her family. "That was over decades ago, Phin. Now we're nothing more than friends. Nora knows that. She has never doubted my faithfulness, and neither should you."

  Phin rubbed his blond beard stubbles that made him look like one of the Vikings from Nattie's books. "Sorry. I didn't mean to accuse you of anything. I just never saw you acting so familiar with a woman other than Mrs. Hamilton. Guess I felt like a son meeting his father's mistress."

  "Tess is not my mistress, and I'm too young to be your father." Luke gave him a playful slap on the shoulder.

  A grin chased away the serious expression on Phin's face. "Not by much."

  "Then I better go visit my friend before I'm too old to take her to dinner," Luke said. But first, she would take that long-awaited bath.

  * * *

  Luke tugged on the sleeves of her cleanest shirt and smoothed her hands over her vest to make sure no hint of her breasts was noticeable beneath her clothes. Calm down. Tess knows exactly what's beneath your clothes. But still, if she took Tess out to supper, she wanted to appear the perfect gentleman.

  After one final brush over her pant legs, she left her hotel room and knocked on Tess's door.

  An elegantly dressed woman opened. It wasn't Tess.

  "Oh. I'm sorry." Luke snatched her hat off and squeezed it between her hands. "I must have the wrong room numb—" She stopped and stared. "Frankie?"

  Instead of the tough woman in men's clothes, she stood in front of a slender lady with artfully arranged hair.

  The grin was the same, though. "Yes. Frankie Callaghan. And you must be Luke." She looped her arm through Luke's in a ladylike gesture and led her inside the hotel room. "I had a feeling you were a little uncomfortable when your foreman saw us together, so I thought I'd dress up tonight in honor of meeting you." She blinked long lashes at Luke. They were probably as fake as her piled-up hair.

  "Frankie!" Tess's smoky laughter drifted across the room. "Don't embarrass him."

  "Him?" Frankie repeated.

  She told Frankie about me? Luke stared at Tess. The Tess she had known in Independence hadn't trusted anyone, especially not enough to pass on other people's secrets.

  Tess shrugged. "Jumping back and forth between pronouns made me dizzy, so I always tended to use male pronouns. Except, of course, when we were making lo—"

  "Tess! Didn't you just tell Frankie not to embarrass me?" The tips of Luke's ears burned.

  Laughter shook Tess. "It's good to see you haven't changed. I always found your innocence refreshing." She took Luke's other arm. "Come on. Let's go eat."

  * * *

  "I'll retreat to our room now," Frankie said right after supper in the hotel's dining room.

  When Frankie stood, Luke jumped up and pulled the chair back for her. "No need to go on my account."

  "I know my cousin," Frankie winked at Tess, "wants some time alone with you." She held up her hand to stop Luke's protests and lowered her voice. "It's all right. I got over my jealousy a long time ago."

  Dazed, Luke stared after her. She watched Frankie gather up her dress and ascend the stairs.

  "She's amazing, isn't she?" Tess asked somewhat dreamily.

  Luke turned. She had never seen that look of loving affection on Tess's face. "She is." Luke had watched the dainty bites Frankie took and how elegantly she handled her cutlery. Nothing remained of the pants-wearing woman Luke had met in front of the bath. "Is this all an act to fit in?"

  "No," Tess said. "This is who Frankie is."

  "Then who was the woman with the pants and the rifle?" At first, it seemed she had met a kindred spirit, but now she found Frankie confusing.

  Tess smiled as if she knew what Luke was thinking. "That's part of Frankie too. It took me some time to understand that Frankie is not really like you. Not all the time. She can handle a needle with the same skill she handles a revolver — and she likes both equally."

  Luke's mind was spinning, trying to grasp what Tess was saying. She never thought both were possible at the same time. Early in her life, she had decided to live as a man, and she knew switching back and forth wasn't possible for her. "Now I'm the one starting to feel dizzy." She emptied her beer.

  Tess patted her hand. "Just give it some time. If you give her a chance, I'm sure you'll like Frankie."

  "It's not that I don't like her," Luke said. Frankie had been pleasant company during supper. "She just... confuses me."

  "Oh, she confused me too." Tess laughed. "In a very pleasant way."

  Luke studied her old friend, enjoying the warm light in the blue eyes. In the past, Tess hadn't been so carefree. Had Frankie put that glint of happiness in Tess's eyes? "I never thought you'd end up with a woman. I thought you were just dallying."

  Tess's smile vanished. "You were so much more than a dalliance to me, Luke." She leaned across the table. "Had you knocked on my door instead of Nora's, the answer would have been 'yes' too."

  The blood rushed from Luke's face and made her feel light-headed. "You mean... you...?" Had Tess dreamed of starting a new life at her side — and Luke never gave her that chance?

  "Don't worry." Tess chuckled. "I love you, but I was never in love with you. But you were so darned kind and honorable that no woman in my establishment would have said 'no' to a marriage proposal from you."

  "They would have said 'yes' to a marriage proposal from Lucas, not from Luke," Luke said. It was a fine but important distinction. Women liked her, but only because they thought she was what she pretended to be — Lucas Hamilton, a man.

  "Nora hinted in her letters that she knows exactly who and what you are — and yet she's still at your side, so she said 'yes' not just to Lucas, but to Luke too."

  Warmth spread through Luke, and she smiled. "Yes. Nora is special. She accepts the male and the female parts of me equally."

  "Then I'm glad you knocked on her door and not on mine," Tess said, her expression sincere.

  "What about you and Frankie?" Luke asked. "Does she know about your... past? Does she know where we met?" Frankie had indicated that she had been jealous of her, so she knew Luke had once shared Tess's bed.

  Tess's eyes stayed calm like the sky on a warm summer day. "Frankie knows everything about me. We don't keep secrets from each other."

  "Hm." Luke wasn't sure if she liked that. Her whole life, she had controlled who knew about her biggest secret, and now Tess had told Frankie without consulting her first.

  "I'm sorry," Tess said, reading her expression as easily as she had seventeen years ago. "I wanted to ask your permission first, but I didn't want to do it in a letter, because I never knew if there would be curious young eyes around to read over your shoulder."

  And there would have been. Nattie had learned to read as a four-year-old, and she had read whatever she could get her little hands on. "Good thinking."

  Tess's gaze probed her. "So you never told Amy and Nattie? They still think you are their father, the manliest man on this side of the Missouri?"

  "Hush!" Luke rubbed the bump on the bridge of her nose and looked around to make sure no one was listening in on their conversation. Luckily, most other guests had already retreated to their rooms. "I am their father in every way that counts."
/>   "So you never thought about telling them?"

  "Nora and I talked about it a lot in the beginning. But back then, the girls were still so young. And when they finally were old enough to understand, I had already let them think for too many years that I'm the man who fathered them." She leaned across the table and whispered, "How can I now, after all this time, tell them I'm not their father? That I'm not even a man?"

  For long moments, silence lingered between them. Tess didn't tell her she was right to keep the truth from her daughters, nor did she say it was a mistake. Her eyes looked deeply into Luke's. "Are you happy with the life you have?"