Hidden Trusts

by Jae

"Watch out!"

  A bucket clattered on its side. Water drenched Rika's skirt, and she jumped back. Her foot slipped on the wet grass. Rika fell.

  Her shoulder smashed against a corral post. A loud pop rang through her ears. Pain exploded. Someone cried out.

  Rika's vision dimmed, and she fought to stay conscious. She realized she was lying on the ground.

  "Hendrika!" Phin dropped to his knees next to her. "Hendrika, are you all right?"

  "Rika!" Amy's voice from behind.

  Rika groaned. Dark spots danced in front of her eyes, but Amy's voice enticed her to answer. "Yes."

  Hands touched her, trying to help her up. A new wave of pain stabbed her shoulder and raced down her arm. "Don't." She breathed through clenched teeth. "Don't touch me." Clutching her arm, she rolled around.

  The large hands retreated, and then Amy was there. Her fingertips trembled against Rika's cheek. "What happened?"

  "Think I threw out my shoulder," Rika said, then clamped her mouth shut. Nausea pulsed through her, and the pain in her shoulder made her light-headed.

  "How could you let this happen?" Amy stared at Phin, hands fisted so tightly that her knuckles looked like jagged mountain peaks.

  Phin, his face pale, held out his palms. '"I didn't know she hadn't seen the bucket."

  "Stop it," Rika whispered. "No use arguing now." Her voice trembled despite her effort to keep it even. She clutched her arm, which hung motionless, and sat up.

  "Let me see." Amy's shaking fingers slid up her arm.

  "Want me to fetch the doc from town?" Phin asked.

  Rika shook her head, then stopped when a new wave of pain shot down her arm. "No." They needed to pop the shoulder back in right away. The muscles were already stiffening up. The longer they waited, the more painful it became. Her gaze searched Amy's through a haze of pain. "If I tell you how, can you do this?"

  The color drained from Amy's cheeks. "I helped put Toby's shoulder back in once, but I don't know if I can do it with you. I don't want to hurt you."

  "Sure you can do it." Pain raged through her shoulder. She knew it would stop as soon as the shoulder popped back into its socket.

  Amy's shoulders lifted as she inhaled deeply. "All right. Phin, help me get her to the house." Her arm, warm and steady, slung around Rika's waist while Phin reached for her uninjured arm.

  Trembling, Rika got to her feet. Pain pulsed through her with every step she took.

  "Want me to carry you?" Phin asked.

  Rika shook her head. She couldn't speak. It took all her concentration just to breathe without screaming.

  Amy swung back the front door and held it open. The door was too narrow for the three of them to enter side by side. One of them would have to let go of Rika.

  Over Rika's head, Amy and Phin exchanged a long glance.

  Phin let go, and Amy helped Rika inside. "We should do this down here and spare you the stairs." Amy directed her to the divan.

  When Rika sat and jostled her shoulder, a groan erupted from her throat. Finally, the dark spots stopped dancing before her eyes, and she looked into Phin's and Amy's tense faces.

  "Want me to boil some water?" Phin bobbed up and down on his toes.

  "We don't need hot water," Amy said, scowling at him. "She's not giving birth. She popped out her shoulder."

  Phin scratched his head. "Uh, yeah, I know. I thought maybe a hot compress would help loosen her muscles."

  Despite the dizzying pain, Rika had to chuckle. Her body cramped, sending flashes of pain through her. She stopped laughing.

  "Easy, easy," Amy murmured. She pulled off her gloves with her teeth and stroked Rika's uninjured arm. "How do we do this? Do you think a hot compress would help?" A tremor ran through her voice.

  "Later. I need to look at the shoulder first." The thought of wrestling out of her tight bodice made her dizzy, but she needed to see the shoulder. If it was broken or the head of the bone was behind the joint, trying to put the shoulder back in would make things worse.

  "Oh. If you're undressing, I'll leave you ladies alone and go take care of Lancelot," Phin said. Three long steps carried him to the door, where he stopped to look back. "Are you sure you can do this, Amy?"

  Eyes that had darkened to pine green searched Rika's. "Yes." Amy never looked away from Rika.

  "All right. Give a shout if you need me." The door fell closed, and Phin's footsteps faded away.

  Amy unwrapped the shawl from around Rika's shoulders and draped it over her lap as if to make sure she wouldn't get cold. Trembling fingers brushed Rika's throat as Amy fiddled with the pin and removed her collar.

  Rika watched the path of those fingers as they moved downward and opened button after button. She thought of the day she had helped Amy with her dress when Amy had burned her fingers. It seemed many months ago, yet she still remembered the golden hue of Amy's skin that faded to a creamy white the farther down the dress slipped.

  Amy paused and looked up.

  Their gazes touched.

  "You all right?" Amy whispered. "You look flushed. How bad is the pain?"

  Rika licked her lips. "It's bearable." And it was. Amy's presence soothed her pain more than a bottle of laudanum could.

  "Good." Amy lowered her gaze to the buttons.

  With her help, Rika struggled out of her bodice. The sleeves slid down her arms, and Amy carefully freed her right hand of the cuff. She pulled the wide neck of Rika's chemise to the side until it dropped off her injured shoulder.

  "There," Amy said, voice rough.

  Rika looked away from Amy and peered at her shoulder. She bit the inside of her cheek when she saw the bulb-shaped knot. "The shoulder is popped out all right." Acid burned in her stomach, and Rika breathed through a wave of nausea.

  "What's the best way to do this?" Amy asked. "When I helped Toby, he was in so much pain... I don't want to do this to you."

  "I watched the doctors with a soldier once." His screams still echoed in Rika's ears, but she didn't tell Amy that. "He bent the forearm at the elbow and rotated it to the side until the shoulder popped back in. Think you can do that?"

  Amy nodded and stepped closer. The warmth of her leg penetrated Rika's skirt, and she leaned against the soothing touch. With cold, damp fingers, Amy reached for her forearm. "Ready?"

  "Yes." Rika didn't look at her shoulder. She kept her gaze fixed on Amy's eyes. Her muscles tightened in anticipation of more pain.

  Amy rotated Rika's arm. It hung like dead weight, protesting the movement, but for a moment, it didn't hurt. At least not worse than before.

  Then Amy turned the arm farther to the side, applying constant pressure.

  Pain lanced through Rika's shoulder. She clamped her jaw tight to hold back a groan.

  The arm turned a bit more.

  Rika fell into the dark spots that danced before her eyes. The harsh sound of her own breathing dimmed. "Wait!" She gasped.

  Amy paused, her fingers gentle on Rika's arm.

  "I need to lie down." If she fainted, Amy wouldn't be able to catch her. Not without further hurting her shoulder. She lay back on the divan. Her skirt slid up, and her legs tangled with Amy's as they hung off the short divan. She didn't care. Amy's touch was the only thing anchoring her in a sea of pain.

  "Do you want some whiskey?" Amy asked. Her face was as pale as Rika's chemise. "Papa keeps a bottle in the parlor for emergencies."

  Numbing the pain sounded like a good idea, but she already felt dizzy enough and she had sworn herself to never rely on the bottle to get her through a tough situation, afraid that it might become a habit, as it had for her father and her husband. "No. Just get it over with." With the help of her left hand, she pulled her upper arm against her body.

  Amy gripped her forearm. Her fingers stroked Rika's hands, soothing away the pain.

  Then the pressure returned. Rika's forearm rotated to the side.

  With her good hand, Rika gripped a handful of fabric, not knowing or caring what it was.

>   Amy pulled a bit more.

  Rika's muscles spasmed and burned with pain.

  "What if this isn't working?" Amy paused. Her gaze searched Rika's. "What if I'm making it worse?"

  Rika shook her head. If she opened her mouth to answer, she would scream, so she nodded at Amy to continue.

  Slowly, Amy rotated the elbow.

  The knotted muscles protested, flaring with white-hot pain.

  Rika screamed.

  Then, as her forearm moved an inch farther, the pressure stopped. The pain went from roaring to smoldering. Rika panted through a dry mouth. She unclenched the trembling fingers of her left hand from around Amy's sleeve and cradled her right arm to her chest.

  Amy let go of her forearm and rubbed her fingertips over Rika's shoulder, making sure the bulb-shaped knot was gone. The gentle touch made Rika forget the pain for a moment. "How does it feel?"

  "Good," Rika said. Her cheeks flamed. "I mean, it's a lot better now."

  The door burst open. "Hendrika got hurt?" Luke's voice was higher than usual.

  Amy tugged the chemise back into place and took a step forward, blocking Rika's half-dressed body with her own. "I got it, Papa. We put the shoulder back in."

  Luke patted Amy's shoulder. "Well done." He peered past Amy but kept his eyes respectfully on Rika's face. "Anything I can do for you, Hendrika?"

  "No, thank you. I'm in good hands."

  "Yes, you are." He turned to Amy. "Go make her comfortable and then come talk to me. There's something your mother and I have to tell you."

  "Now?" Amy asked. Her gaze trailed toward Rika.

  Luke nodded. "We already waited too long." He backed away before Amy could say anything else.

  "That sounded serious," Rika said. "Is everything all right with your family?"

  Amy smoothed a thumb over her eyebrow. "I hope so." She took Rika's shawl and knotted it around her shoulder. "Toby had his arm in a sling after we put his shoulder back in."

  "What about my bodice?"

  "Don't bother." With gentle fingers, Amy placed the injured arm into the sling. "You'd only have to struggle out of it again 'cause I'm taking you to bed." Red blotches formed on her cheeks. "I-I mean, I'm gonna take you upstairs and make sure you rest."

  In the past, Rika would have thought nothing of the innocent comment, but now Frankie and Tess had made her aware that women could take other women to bed. Apparently, Amy had thought about that revelation too. What would it be like? Again, she felt Amy's fingers on her bare shoulder, stroking gently, but when she looked up, Amy wasn't touching her.

  She shook her head at herself. You're drunk on pain.

  On legs that felt weak, she followed Amy up the stairs.

  * * *

  "You don't have to do that," Rika said when Amy plumped up her pillow for the fourth time in half an hour. "I haven't been in bed past sunrise since I was four years old. You should finally go talk to your father, and I should be up, helping Nattie muck the stalls and take care of —"

  "No." Amy hovered over her. "For once, you're the one being taken care of. Better get used to it."

  Better not, Rika thought. The pastor would come over later today, and within a few days, she would be away from Amy's caring presence. The thought hurt more than the pain in her shoulder.

  Amy sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to jostle it. "How's the shoulder? Does it hurt?"

  "It's fine. The pain went away as soon as you put it back in. Now it's mostly just sore."

  A knock interrupted, and Amy hurried to the door like a self-appointed guardian. She inched open the door and peered through the crack.

  "How is she?" Phin asked from the other side of the door.

  Amy glanced back at Rika. "I put the shoulder back in. Now she needs some rest."

  "Can I see her?"

  "She's not dressed to receive visitors."

  "I wouldn't disturb her, but the reverend is over in the cabin," Phin said. "He wants to talk to Hendrika and me, and I would hate to send him away. He already thinks Hendrika and I are dragging our feet about the wedding."

  Rika stiffened. Her shoulder started to pound. Or maybe it was her heart.

  "Wait here," Amy said. She closed the door and turned to Rika. Was it just Rika's imagination, or was the helpless desperation she felt reflected on Amy's face? But when she opened her mouth, Amy just asked, "Do you feel up to talking to the reverend? We can send him away if—"

  Rika shook her head. No use in dragging it out. "It's all right. Most of the pain is gone."

  "Want some help getting dressed?" Amy asked.

  "I think I can manage." Rika slipped out of bed, careful not to bang her shoulder on the washstand. She pulled out of the improvised sling and wrestled her right arm through the sleeve of her bodice, then slipped into the other sleeve. Her muscles protested when she tried to lift her hand to the buttons.

  "Let me," Amy said.

  Rika watched the strong fingers move over her bodice. Her glance took in rope burns, scratches, and old scars across the back of Amy's hands, and she realized the pattern was as familiar as the streets of Boston had once been to her. It seemed she spent a lot of time watching Amy's hands. "We seem to make a habit out of dressing and undressing each other," Rika murmured.

  Amy paused, hands on the top button. Surely, she could feel Rika's heart hammering away through the fabric of her bodice. Her finger trailed over Rika's collarbone when she lifted her gaze to meet Rika's. "Rika, I —"

  A loud knock on the door made them jerk back, away from each other. "Hendrika?" Phin called through the door. "You decent?"

  Rika had forgotten that he stood waiting. "Yes, come in."

  Phin stepped into the bedroom, squeezing his hat between his hands. He looked like Rika's brother when he had gotten into trouble and was waiting to be scolded.

  He's not your brother. He'll be your husband soon.

  "How's the shoulder?" He waved his hat in the direction of Rika's right arm.

  "It's fine." She wasn't used to all that fussing over her. "Amy took good care of it."

  "Good, good. I feel real bad about it."

  "It was my own fault. I wasn't looking where I was going." Watching Amy had distracted her. Heat crept up her chest and suffused her face.

  Phin took her left hand and squeezed it. "Don't be embarrassed. Everyone stumbles now and again."

  "Here." Amy filled a mug with water from the pitcher and shoved it at Rika.

  Blinking, Rika freed her hand from Phin's and took the mug. "Thank you." She gulped down the cool liquid as if it would extinguish the fire in her cheeks.

  "The reverend is waiting in the cabin." Phin shoved one hand into his pocket. "I can send him away if this isn't a good time."

  Rika was tempted to say yes and buy herself a few more days at the ranch, but she had always faced reality and never allowed herself to linger on what ifs. She wouldn't start now. "It's fine. I'll be over in a minute."

  Phin nodded and turned on his heel. He strode away as if thankful to escape the room.

  "Want to come?" Rika gestured in the direction of the cabin with her chin. The pastor's presence made her squirm ever since she had seen Tess and Frankie kiss, and knowing he was there to talk about her wedding didn't help to calm her.

  "No," Amy said so quickly that Rika suspected she wasn't eager to be in the pastor's presence either. "I should go talk to my mama and papa, see what they want."

  Distance grew between them, and Rika shivered. She fumbled the improvised sling back around her shoulder and turned to go.

  "Rika?"

  She turned back.

  Their gazes met and pulled them together, across the room. Without a word, Amy stepped closer. The heat of her body warmed Rika. Amy lifted her hands.

  Rika's breath hitched.

  Amy closed the top button on Rika's bodice. "There." She dropped her hands and stepped back.

  "Oh. Thank you." On shaky legs, Rika stumbled down the stairs.

  Hamilton Hor
se Ranch

  Baker Prairie, Oregon

  June 26, 1868

  WHEN AMY STEPPED into the parlor, Papa sat in his favorite armchair, his body as stiff and wooden as one of his carved figurines. Mama perched next to him, clinging to his arm.

  Amy tensed and squinted at the strange scene. Her gaze met Nattie's, and she tilted her head in a silent question.