by Lucy Gage
“I understand. I hope you’ll at least give me a chance to make it up to you. I don’t know if I ever can, but I want to try.”
Liam nodded. “I believe you because I want to believe you. I don’t want to lose my best friend, either. But it’ll take some time for us to get back there.”
“I’ll do what it takes.”
“Good to know.” They stood there for a minute, absorbing what had just transpired between them, the thawing of defenses, the start to a reconciliation.
Then, Rob said, “You have plans for while we’re gone? Are you and Jenna going to spend some time as a family?”
“I hope so. No offense, but that’s been impossible lately.”
“I didn’t mean for that, Liam.”
“Hopefully, we can make it through this.”
“You think you might not? She loves you. Don’t walk away.”
“I don’t plan to walk away from her. I love her. I won’t let you come between us.”
“I never intended to come between you. Please believe that. I know it might be hard to conceive, but once I saw you with her, I knew I’d lost her. The truth is, it was all for the best. Jenna was right. We were missing the spark. You can’t force that. Either it’s there or it isn’t.”
Liam nodded. He knew. He’d started to feel things for Nina, but there hadn’t been the persistent electrical connection there was with Jenna. He might have been happy, even content with Nina. But he’d never have felt whole the way Jenna filled him.
“Do you regret lying or the way you treated us?” Liam asked.
“In hindsight, I regret hurting all of you. I was selfish.”
“Well, you’re an actor. You’re bound to do something stupid, narcissistic and obnoxious at least once.”
Rob chuckled. “I guess it could have been worse.”
Liam laughed. “Too true.” He sobered. “Don’t lie to me ever again.”
“Never. I swear, Liam, that’s the only time I’ve ever kept anything from you.”
“Yeah, well, I kept Rachel’s secret for years. I guess we’re even now, huh?”
“Friends don’t keep score.”
“No, they don’t.” He hesitated, but he knew it had to be done. Leaning forward, he hugged Rob. “Take care of your wife while you’re gone. And stop keeping her in the dark.”
Rob hugged him back and then stepped away, a look of confusion on his face. “Why would you say that?”
“You haven’t told her how bad your anxiety can get, Rob. I know, because I’ve talked to her about it. You have to tell her. She’s going to help you through the premiere. I asked her to do it. I told her what she needs to do. If it’s not working, she’ll call me. Let her in. She loves you. She isn’t going to leave again.”
Rob sighed, gave him a small smile and said, “Okay. I need to finish packing. Are we good? Or at least better?”
“We’re getting there. Give it time.”
**********
Getting around became easier as the days passed, but she was still sore and couldn’t do much that required exertion. Carrying more than one of the twins at a time was out, and she had no idea how things would work once Liam left for L.A. with Rob and Emily. As the bodyguard for Rob’s wife, he was surely following them to L.A. for the Not Worthy wide-release premiere. Rob always needed Liam at premieres.
Not that Liam had said anything to her about it. Since their confession, Liam hadn’t been distant so much as quiet. They’d never really been quiet together. It had always been a constant stream of conversation.
In some ways, the fact that he said very little was worse than if he’d argued with her.
She’d contemplated asking Emily, but that seemed like a bad idea if dwelt upon more than a few minutes at a time. And though she talked to Rob every day for work, he had indicated that Liam was giving him the silent treatment, too.
After Amy’s initial statement, there had been limited fallout from her trip to the hospital. Part of that was related to the fact that the marriage announcement for Rob and Emily appeared in People almost immediately afterward, diverting all but the sleaziest outlets to the real story.
A few hangers-on wouldn’t let the potential scandal go, so Jenna was putting out fires here and there. As such, she and Rob planned several calls each day while they were gone, a couple of which would be conference calls with Amy.
They were saying goodbye for the first time post-confession, and it was awkward, not knowing if they should hug or kiss the way they always had. They’d settled for a brief hug, and at that moment, Liam walked into the living room.
Jenna inwardly cringed. When would it no longer be so uncomfortable?
“Car is here and the bags are loaded. Time to head for the airport,” Liam said.
Rob nodded and looked at Jenna, then at Liam. “Take good care of them while we’re gone,” he said. And then he left.
Liam started to walk out of the room, but not behind Rob. He headed toward the kitchen instead.
“You’re…staying?” she asked.
Liam looked at her, surprised. “Of course I’m staying. You didn’t think I’d leave you here alone to take care of the babies by yourself, did you?”
Jenna shrugged. “I had no idea,” she whispered, as she sank into the couch, head on her hands.
She was shocked when Liam sat next to her, further stunned when he put his arms around her. The tears came on their own, without her permission, and she found herself sobbing into his polo shirt.
Liam whispered endearments into her hair and rubbed her back as he held her. Finally, her tears slowed and her breathing stuttered as she recovered from the big cry she’d held inside for most of the past two weeks.
She finally pulled away, saying, “I’m sorry.” Whether for the tears on his shirt or the fact that she’d hurt him by omitting the truth about her relationship with Rob, she couldn’t say. Probably, it was a little of the one and a lot of the other.
“You know I love you, right?”
“Still?” she asked, truly unsure whether he meant it.
He shook his head in disbelief. “Jenna, you can’t honestly think that I would stop loving you over your confession.”
“You’ve hardly spoken to me since then, Liam. It was difficult to know what to think.”
He cupped her face in his hands. “I almost lost you. More than once. And the last time, it could have been forever. You think I don’t know how lucky I am that I didn’t? I won’t lie. I was hurt. I’m still hurt. But I don’t exactly have a lot of wiggle room, do I? It’s taking me some time to get over my pride being wounded.”
“You don’t hate me?”
“No, baby. I love you so much.”
“You do?” He nodded. “Good. Because I love you, Liam. It kills me to think about being without you.”
“You don’t need to worry about that. I’m not going anywhere. Let’s forget about all the stuff with Rob as best we can while they’re gone. Take some time to be a family. I miss having time alone with you.”
“We won’t be alone. The babies will be with us.” And as if on cue, Cam’s crying came over the monitor, followed seconds later by Ellie’s. Suddenly, there were two babies wailing loud enough to be heard without amplification.
Liam smiled. “I’ll go get them.”
“I’ll come with you. They probably both need to be changed and I’m sure they’re hungry. You don’t have their food.”
He helped her to her feet. “Then let’s go be a team.”
“I like the sound of that,” she said.
Liam held her hand all the way upstairs to the nursery, where they switched focus to their children. They weren’t broken. Bent a little, yes, but not damaged beyond repair. Hopefully, this time with Rob and Emily away would allow them to heal the wounds and work toward rebuilding something stronger and better.
**********
Liam walked into their bedroom to find Jenna standing at the door of the closet with the Beehive print and he froze.
“This photo is stunning. I don’t remember seeing it at your condo. Did you buy it since you’ve been out here? It reminds me of Adams. I bet that’s why you liked it, right? Liam?”
“Uh. Yeah. Right.”
“We should put this on the wall. It would look better over the dresser than that little picture of Lila. If we hang this there, we can put Lila’s photo somewhere else. I’m sure I’ve got some photos…”
“No!” Liam said automatically. His heart was suddenly racing.
“No? Why? If you didn’t want to display it, why did you buy it? Or do you just not want to put it in that spot?”
“Do not put that on the wall,” Liam practically begged her.
“Liam, what’s going on?” She set the photo down on the floor and walked toward him. She rubbed his shoulders and looked at him expectantly. “Is there something I should know about the photo? Is this the picture you displayed in the art show? The one that got your dad and Peggy together?”
“What? No. I didn’t take this photo.”
“Then what’s wrong, baby?”
Before he could lie about it, he spit out the truth. They couldn’t live with more lies. “Nina gave it to me, the week of the wedding. It was a moving-in present. We saw the original at the Sidewalk Art Festival and she knew I liked it, so she asked the artist to frame a copy for me.”
“Oh,” she said. Her shoulders drooped and she plopped down in the chair by the bed.
Liam shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn’t know what to say. Would anything be the right thing? Probably not. Only the truth had room here.
“I took it off the wall because it didn’t have a place in our bedroom. I should have taken the time to get rid of it, but I’d forgotten in all the excitement.”
“Do you love her?”
“What?”
“Nina. Do you love her?”
“No, baby. I love you.”
Jenna nodded. “I know that, Liam. I believe you love me. But I have to wonder if you love her, too. The day of Rob’s wedding, I saw her run back from the beach after you’d gone down there. She was crying. Did you tell her that you love her?”
He sighed. “No. But I did tell her that I could have fallen in love with her. I’m sorry. I know I said I would have left her no matter what, but it would have been a lot harder to do if you weren’t pregnant.”
Jenna’s eyes watered. “Do you wish you hadn’t asked me to marry you?” she whispered.
“Baby, don’t think that. Not for a second,” he said as he knelt in front of her.
She got up, walked to her dresser and opened her jewelry box. When she plucked her engagement ring out of the velvet, she handed it to him.
“I haven’t been wearing it since my surgery because my hands were swollen. I want you to take it, Liam. When you think you can trust me, ask me again. If you really want me, if it’s me you love, then ask me to be your wife. I can’t bear the thought of being without you, but I can’t let you choose me because of the babies. I need you to choose me because you can’t live without me, either.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. She closed his hand over the ring and then she left.
What the hell had just happened?
**********
Catie sat next to her on the couch with Ellie in her arms. Liam had gone to the store for more diapers and other groceries. He’d been paranoid about leaving her alone with the babies, even though she was perfectly able to take care of them on her own now. But he hadn’t wanted to leave for the time it would take to get groceries, and they were running out of food and baby items.
He’d begged Catie to come stay with them for the weekend. Since she’d promised to come back when they really needed the help, she didn’t hesitate.
“You owe me,” Catie said, cooing as if she was talking to Ellie, but she was obviously talking to Jenna.
She shuffled Cam when he finished nursing. “Fine,” she said.
“Spill it, rich girl. All of it.”
“What do you want to know?”
“For starters, what was going on with Robbie and you? Why was my brother so upset the day the babies were born? And don’t tell me it was about you nearly dying. It was more than that.”
“He hasn’t told you?”
“No. He doesn’t tell me everything anymore. Especially if it has anything to do with Robbie. It’s not that he thinks I’d say anything, just that he respects Robbie’s privacy.”
“And you think I don’t?”
“No, I know you do. I think you would be telling me a secret of your own. Am I wrong?”
Jenna sighed. “No.”
Catie looked at her expectantly. “Well?”
“Fine. You cannot breathe a word of this to another soul, do you hear me? Not even Liam.”
“Spill it. You know you can trust me.”
Jenna nodded. “I…had an affair with Rob.”
“What? When?” Catie stiffened. Cheating was something she loathed, Jenna knew.
“Before I met Liam.”
Visibly relaxing, Catie said, “Oh. Well, I’d love to hear the details, but why is that a big deal?”
“For one, it’s a big deal because in case you missed it, Rob isn’t Robbie Deacon. He’s Deac Roberts, movie star. There’s no such thing as ‘not a big deal’ for him. If the press knew, they’d have a field day.”
“Yeah, yeah. And? You said, ‘for one’. What else?”
She sighed. “For another, we didn’t tell your brother about it until after the babies were born.”
“Because he suspected it then.”
“How did you know that?”
“He made some flippant comment. Is it causing problems?”
“I don’t know. He says he’s getting over it, but the other day…” She started to cry, thinking about that stupid photo and that bitch Nina.
“Hey, what’s wrong, honey?”
“I think he’s in love with Nina,” she whispered.
“No, Jen. He’s in love with you.”
“You can be in love with more than one person, Catie.”
“Yes, but he isn’t. I know my brother. He is head over heels for you and has been for as long as he has known you. If he has any feelings for her, they’re minor compared to his love for you.”
“Then why hasn’t he asked me to marry him?”
“Didn’t he ask you before?”
“He did, but I gave him back the ring and told him that he should ask me again when he could trust me. That if he couldn’t live without me and knew it was me he loved, and not because of the babies, then he should ask me again.”
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, why would you do that?”
“Because he admitted that he felt more for her than he’d said he did before. I don’t want him marrying me because he feels obligated, Catie! I love him. I am so in love with him my heart would shrivel up and die if he left me. But I’d rather go through that hurt now and get it over with than let it die slowly and end up…”
“Like my Ma. Right. Shit, Jenna.”
“I’m an idiot.”
“No, hon, you’re not an idiot. But didn’t you learn anything after all those years with him? Now he’s scared. He’s afraid you don’t really want him. That you’re rejecting him.”
“What? Why would he think that?”
“Jenna, you told him that you lied to him for years about a relationship with his best friend. You’re close to Robbie, right?”
“Yes, but…”
“No buts. You’re still close to the man he now sees as his competition. You returned the engagement ring he gave you. I know him. He thinks you’re trying to tell him that you’re in love with Robbie. You’re not in love with Robbie, are you?”
She shook her head vigorously. “No. Definitely not.”
“Methinks she doth protest too vehemently.”
“I’m not in love with Rob, Catie.”
“But…”
Jenna sighed. Her best friend knew her too well. “But I may ha
ve had some pretty intense feelings for him before. Not since I met Liam, but before that. There was a time that it crossed my mind. Not in the same way that starstruck teenagers drool over him. In the way you felt about Noah the day you told me you got engaged to Tony.”
“Life-altering sexual experiences that lasted for a couple days in a row?”
“Try three weeks straight, making love like it was water and we were dying of thirst. The last time, he made me look at him, Catie. I saw something in his eyes and it scared me.”
“Because you didn’t think he loved you?”
“Because I knew he did.”
“Oh. Shit.”
“He asked me to go with them on a shoot. To travel with him. It was a horrible idea, for a number of reasons, not the least of which was because he was having a PR nightmare at the time. But I said no, in part, because I was scared. I knew that if I went, we were taking things to the next level. I wasn’t quite sure I was ready for it. So I figured we’d take some time apart and then see where we were at. But six months later, he came back, basically blew me off and then pushed me toward Liam.”
“And…”
“Once I saw Liam, I knew. I was sure he was your brother and I’d had a huge crush on him for years. It was like that guy in the pictures had come to life, only better.”
“Seriously, you’re waxing cheesy poetic about my brother. If I was an 80’s teen, I’d say, ‘Gag me with a spoon’, because EW.”
“Shut up. It’s not that bad.” Catie rolled her eyes. “Fine. I liked Liam immediately after I met him, and it magnified as time passed. As I’d started talking to him, I knew that if he turned out to be even an iota like I’d imagined, I’d be head over heels in no time.”
“Let me guess. He was better?”
“So much. I just…God, Catie, I love him. From the first time he kissed me, I was gone. I can’t lose him. I can’t.”
“You’re not in love with Robbie anymore?”
“I don’t know that I ever was in love with him.”
“Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that. If you’re really over Robbie, then you have to make sure Liam can see that. Until he does, you’re going to feel like you just took two steps back.”
