My Broken Heart: The Complete Collection

by Dani Hoots

  “Well, it was bound to happen in this storm, I suppose,” Oliver stood up. “I’ll go get some candles.”

  “Need me to do anything?” I asked as he headed into the other room.

  “Nope, I got it.”

  A few moments later Oliver got some candles lit, and we sat there on the couch, light flickering shadows around the room, and the lightning adding to those shadows. A large crash sounded outside and I jumped a bit.

  He laughed.

  I shoved him a bit on the shoulder. “Shut up, that was loud.”

  “It was, I admit,” he started and looked as if he was going to say something else, but stopped. “Are you hungry? We still have a lot food left.”

  “Uh, sure. And some wine would be nice as well.”

  “You got it.”

  I watched as he went to fetch it for us. I took a deep breath and admired the view of his backside some more. In my head, this night wouldn’t end well. But I wouldn’t let that happen. Not when so much was at stake.

  He brought back the food and wine. “Here you go.”

  “Thanks.” I took a bite of the crackers and cheese. Tillamook, which I found to be the best cheese in the world so far.

  Oliver sat down next to me, a little closer this time. He held up his glass. “Cheers?”

  I clinked his glass. “Cheers.”

  We each took a drink, me a little more than him. I really wanted the night to be over, but it was New Year’s and it would just be sad if we retired early for the night. So we had about another half an hour or so.

  “So, how are you liking it out here on the Pacific Coast?” Oliver asked.

  I glanced out the window and watched the trees slingshot back and forth due to the storm. “Well right now it’s a bit frightening. But normally it reminds me a bit of England actually, on the coast. Cold and wet.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, it reminds me a bit of England as well. Or Scotland.”

  “Makes me miss it, actually.”

  “Well, hopefully we will be going back this summer. I should hear back in a couple of weeks. I will let you know as soon as possible,” Oliver smiled.

  “Can’t wait. It would be great to go back...” I stopped there. I wanted to say with him but I knew it would come out wrong, although that was what I wanted in the end. It was quiet between us for a moment.

  Oliver checked his watch. “Minute until the new year. Got any resolutions?”

  “Keep my grades up, I suppose,” I said.

  “Nothing else?” he questioned.

  I stared at him for a moment, wanting to say more, but then just shook my head.

  He checked his watch again. “Five seconds. Four. Three. Two. One.”

  “Happy new year,” I said.

  He leaned in closer, as if about to kiss me. My heart beat quickened. We didn’t say a word for the longest moment. Oliver turned away. “I better get you some clothes to change into, you look tired.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I am. That would be good.”

  He got me some clothes and blankets and brought them into the living room. “Well then, good night Chris.”

  Oliver left towards his bedroom. I took a deep breath, telling myself not to follow him back to his room, even though I had really wanted to.

  I went back to my apartment the next day and my neighbor made a comment about me still wearing the same thing I wore last night. I hated that bitch. When I closed the door behind me, I leaned back on it and slid down to the floor, hitting my head against the wood, damning my feelings for him.

  “So nothing happened that night?” Dr. Ralan asked.

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “You shouldn’t have put yourself in a position like that, Oliver.”

  “What was I supposed to do? Send her back in that storm and pray she didn’t get hurt? Because I sure as hell wasn’t going to do that,” Oliver replied.

  Dr. Ralan let out a sigh. “So what happened after that?”

  “We got the okay to go to England that summer just two weeks later and the next semester went on,” I said. “As it should have.”

  Oliver was right to say that this was going to be the hardest semester of the entire program. Dr. Ralan’s class was extremely hard, I had found myself in Oliver’s office more often than not asking for help. Although in reality I should have gone to either Dr. Ralan or one of his TAs, I couldn’t help but want to ask Oliver so that I could spend more time with him. We didn’t talk about what almost happened during New Years, ignored the fact that we both had our feelings stuffed away inside our hearts. I knew, if I could make it through graduate school, I would tell him the truth after the day I graduated, and we could pick up everything from there. But that was five to seven years from now, and I wasn’t sure that he would wait that long for me.

  I guess it just gave me all the more reason to get done faster.

  If that was even possible, as I found myself in the lab at 10pm the night before the project was due. And I was stuck, as the quantitative analysis was not making sense. I wanted to hit my head on the keyboard so bad when I heard the door open behind me. I glanced back to find Oliver standing there with two cups of coffee.

  Staring at him, puzzled, I asked. “What are you still doing on campus so late?”

  He set the mug down in front of me. “Had a journal article I was collaborating with another scientist from UT that was due tonight. We just finished when I saw you in here. Thought I would bring you some coffee.”

  “Oh. Thanks,” I took a sip of the coffee.

  “I take it you’re stuck on the project for Dr. Ralan.”

  “What makes you say that?” I asked as he leaned forward and read the screen.

  “You forgot to carry a one right here,” he put his finger on the screen.

  “What, it can’t be something that simple...” I scanned through my math. “Damn it.”

  Oliver chuckled. “It’s always the small things, isn’t it.”

  I rubbed my head. “I guess so. Now I just need to write up the ten page paper.”

  “You haven’t started the paper yet?”

  “Well, I started it. I have notes and all my resources. I just need to put it into words that make sense,” I explained.

  “So you are going to be here for a while I take it?”

  “Yeah, figured I would spend the night here.”

  “Well then,” Oliver sat down on the couch and made himself comfy. “I will keep you company.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you need some sleep?”

  He shrugged. “I could sleep here. You shouldn’t be on campus so late by yourself. I can stay here.”

  He was right, the campus did get eerie at night, and I didn’t particularly want to be here alone, but neither did I want Oliver there, staring at me as I worked. “Okay, if you insist. But I will be horrible company, as I’m going to be completely concentrating on this project.”

  Oliver leaned back. “That’s fine, I’m probably going to fall asleep soon. Been a long day.”

  I laughed. “You do that.”

  “Wake me if you need anything,” he shut his eyes.

  “Will do.”

  He did fall asleep. I was pretty amazed that he could sleep on that couch, as I swore it was one of the most uncomfortable couches in the universe of everything. I tried not to think about the fact he was going to wake up with a sore neck as I went back to work.

  I finished the paper around 3am. I debated waking Oliver up to see if I could get a ride home, but he looked like he was sound asleep, so I decided it would be a good time to grade tests, as the class I TAed had just taken their final. I pulled out some red pens and got to work. I wasn’t that tired, as the fact I was leaving for England in just a couple of days with Oliver swirled around in my head. I couldn’t wait to go back, even though I knew it wouldn’t be the same.

  Though, deep down I hoped it would be.

  “And then you two went to England, which I presume is where everything changed?” Dr. Ralan
asked.

  We both nodded.

  “What exactly happened, then, for you two to give up on being professional?”

  “For starters, we were where we first fell in love,” Oliver said. “And second, there wasn’t anyone there that we thought could catch us.”

  That night felt as if it was just yesterday. I closed my eyes as I wanted to relive that moment over and over again.

  It had been two weeks since we had arrived to London. I didn’t miss home at all, as I wished we could stay there forever. The work wasn’t easy, though, as we had been examining specimens for hours a day, taking note on the health recorded on each and every bone that had been recovered from the site. I couldn’t believe I was already getting hands-on action like this, though most of the time I was just writing down notes for Oliver and the others. I was learning a lot in a short amount of time, and I loved it.

  Oliver and I had just gotten back to our apartment, or flat as they called in it London, after twelve hours of work. It was almost 8pm now and I figured I would get some studying done to help keep up with everything I had been hearing in the lab.

  Grabbing my book, I sat down on the couch and started reading.

  “You should give your brain a break. Don’t you learn enough in the lab?” Oliver asked as he sat down next to me.

  “I do, but I feel as if I don’t know enough compared to the others. I don’t want to seem like I don’t know anything, now do I? Besides, it’s only eight, too early to go to sleep and I don’t particularly want to go anywhere after being out all day,” I turned to him with a smile. “What else is a girl to do other than study?”

  Oliver leaned in a bit and for a moment my heart felt as if it was going to jump out of my chest. His soft lips met mine, warm just as they were the year before. They were just how I remembered them. I wanted so much more, but instead I quickly backed off.

  “No, we can’t. You would lose your job and I will be kicked out of the school. We can’t jeopardize everything,” I whispered.

  He shook his head. “I can’t go on like this any longer, I can’t. Besides, here we can be free. There is no one watching us, no one to report us. We are free to feel how we want to feel here.”

  It made sense, at least it did to my heart. My brain was screaming that it was wrong, but I didn’t want to listen to it. I just wanted to feel his touch one more time. I leaned forward and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, pressing my lips harder against his. All I wanted was to be with him and finally I was getting that wish. I couldn’t stop and I don’t think he could either.

  He pulled my closer, running his hands beneath my shirt. I began to unbutton his quickly, running my fingers through the hair on his chest. Oliver’s kisses began to move down my neck. I still couldn’t believe this was happening.

  “Should...” I began, taking a deep breath. “Should we go to my room? Or your room works too, just saying.”

  He laughed. “Yours is fine,” he picked me up as if I was just a twig. I wrapped my legs around him as he carried me off to my room.

  And that was how our relationship started back up.

  “But you were wrong to think that no one would see you. You forgot about the summer study abroad classes we have in London. One of the professors saw you two kissing and reported it to me when they got back, which was about the same time you came back,” he tapped the papers he had in front of him. “And I take it you didn’t keep your word on leaving the relationship in England, as this morning proved.”

  I rubbed my forehead. I knew it was a stupid idea to have stayed at Oliver’s when we got back, but school hadn’t even started yet, I didn’t think anyone would have known.

  It had been a day since we got back from England. I had started to unpack my things and added the new photo booth picture of Oliver and I to my mirror next to the one from the year before. We had agreed that we would go back to being professional while in school, but, hopefully next year, we would return to London where we could just be ourselves. We knew we wouldn’t run into anyone there, while the odds here were high.

  As I pulled out receipts from my purse, I noticed something strange in my purse. I pulled out the old leather wallet and figured Oliver must have misplaced it in my stuff while at the airport.

  And he kept telling me that he wouldn’t lose it again.

  I grabbed my cell phone and texted him that I had his wallet. A few moments later he replied that he had been searching everywhere for it and asked if I could bring it over since he really shouldn’t drive without it. I checked the clock. It was about 8pm now, but still light out. I texted back “sure”, and that I would be on my way shortly.

  The last time I had gone to Oliver’s house was for the New Year’s party that got cancelled without my realizing it did. I still remembered how to get there, since I dreamt about driving over to his house again and again. Luckily this time there was no storm and it was actually pretty nice out since it was still summer.

  Oliver was waiting on the steps in front of his door, wearing a white button-up shirt and jeans. His face was a bit scruffy, which I thought he could pull off, but he always seemed to keep it well shaved during the school year. I watched as he stood up as he parked the car.

  “I’m so glad you found it, otherwise I don’t know how long I would have been searching,” he smiled as I handed it to him.

  “No problem, I’m just not sure how exactly it ended up in my purse.”

  He shrugged. “Probably something to do with the airport, you know how they make you rush. Bound to forget or misplace something.”

  “Yeah, I suppose.”

  We stood there, quiet. The wind rustled through the trees, bringing the cool night with it. Oliver leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. I was taken by surprise. I didn’t think we were going to show any affection towards each other once we left England.

  “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I shouldn’t have—”

  I placed my finger on his lips to quiet him. “No, one more night would be okay.”

  He smiled. “Want to go inside?”

  I nodded. “Sure.”

  We went inside, and Oliver quickly grabbed two wine glasses and a bottle of Pinot Noir. He then grabbed my hand and led me into his room, kissing each and every one of my fingers along the way.

  The next day I woke to find Oliver had already gotten out of bed to make breakfast I presume. I got up and jumped in the shower to freshen up a bit. I let the fact that this would be our last moments together consume me and my heart felt as if it was going to break. It wouldn’t be forever though, I had to accept that.

  I reached for shampoo to find that there was none left. I quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around myself. “Oliver,” I called down the hallway as I started towards the kitchen. “You’re out of...” I stopped in my tracks. “Shampoo.”

  There stood in front of me Dr. Ralan. Oliver’s eyes were wide as he looked at me, realizing that we had made a huge mistake.

  “My office, one hour,” with that, Dr. Ralan left us standing there to figure out what we were going to do next.

  “I wish I heard the doorbell,” I said.

  “It doesn’t change the fact of what you did. Both of you should have come forward the day you found out you would be working together. Now, Dr. Riley, miss Jennings, could you wait in the hallway while we discuss what we are going to do?”

  Both of us nodded and started to stand up. Dr. Ralan flipped through the paper of notes. “Hold on a moment, when did you two first travel in London?”

  “Uh, June 15th through the 29th,” I answered. Oliver froze.

  “Dr. Riley, you were sent a roster with pictures of all the students in June, where you not? When was that in relations to this event?”

  I stared at Oliver. He slowly closed his eyes. “Two days before she returned to the U.S.”

  My eyes widened. “You knew?”

  “And did you not volunteer to take on miss Jennings as a student after hearing of Dr. Kibs rushed reti
rement? Did you or did you not know she was the same woman you spent the summer with?”

  Oliver ran his hands over his face, not answering the question.

  “Dr. Riley, answer the question.”

  “I did,” he whispered.

  I didn’t say a word but just stared at him. He knew, he knew this whole time.

  “Please step outside while we discuss this.”

  I followed Oliver into the hallway, quiet. Once we were alone, he started shaking his head. “I’m sorry, oh God, Chris, I’m sorry. I just...” He ran his hands through his hair.