There were no words for the intensity of it all. I felt myself collapsing, folding over and over until all that existed was my core, flaring to life under Sam’s touch. His tongue lapped, his fingers circled and prodded, his lips suckled. My first orgasm was sharp and fast, ripping through me harshly. I bucked and mewled, but it didn’t stop him.
Sam slowed down, keeping in contact with my most intimate flesh all the time. As my convulsions stopped, he pushed a thick finger deep inside me and raised his head to look into my eyes. “Do you like that, Carly?”
I nodded, completely incapable of speech.
“I like it too. Do you know I dream about you? About what it feels like when I’m buried deep inside you here.” To punctuate his words he slid another finger in, twisting and curling them to tease every bit of my slickness. Everything got hazy and then he pressed a thumb over my clit and I flew apart again. So soon, it was almost painful but I wanted more. There in that bed, nothing else mattered. Just Sam and what he was doing to me. It was a refuge.
“God, baby. I love your face when you come. It drives me wild. Makes me feel like an animal. I want to claim you, own that pleasure for myself.”
The sultry tones of his voice, paired with his talented fingers, kept me in a heightened state of arousal. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stop or last forever.
“It’s wonderful watching you like this. So pliant for me. So willing to take what I give you.”
I whimpered and raised my hips, ready for more. I wanted him inside me, connected to me, sealed with me.
“Mm, I know what you want. My greedy girl. And I’ll give it to you.”
I was so used to his teasing by now that I was shocked when he did just as promised. Shoving his jeans down and smoothing a condom over the blunt tip of his erection in one continuous motion, Sam was nestled against my pulsating entrance before I could catch my breath.
“Yes,” was all I could say.
He understood and plunged forward easily as my desire for him smoothed the way. Big and hard from head to toe he enveloped me, overwhelmed me and I loved it.
I cried out as he slid deep and started moving. Long, strong strokes that left me gasping and perspiring in seconds. I looked up into his eyes and craned my neck for a kiss. Our lips met and tongues tangled; for a moment, we stopped moving against each other, staying locked together from lip to hips, relishing the closeness.
But my body was too hungry for him. Soon my hips circled and my core clenched. Sam groaned and lowered his hands to my waist, holding me in place at just the right angle to drive inside again and again.
My hands slid over the smoothness of his skin and bulging muscles beneath it. Sweaty and messy. Fast and hard. We coupled desperately, as if for the first and possibly last time. Too high on the erotic pleasure of it all, I didn’t think about the fact that it could be our last time. That the dangers we faced were intensifying by the hour. All I cared about was this moment. This melding of body and heart and spirit. As much as telling him about my past had felt like letting Sam inside me deeper than anyone else, making love to him without reservation or excuse sealed the deal. Seared his name into my very being.
There were no words to express everything I was feeling, everything I was giving, and I didn’t need them. As always, his keen eyes saw everything. And behind the heat and desire I saw the same within him. Surrender to what had been growing between us. Wordless acknowledgment that there would be no more games. No retreating. We would face whatever the future brought together, side by side.
With that realization, I clung to him tightly, holding him within my body and my arms.
“Baby,” he said and I blinked away tears I hadn’t noticed were forming.
Sam reached between our undulating bodies and rubbed at the bundle of nerves that brought me the most pleasure. I groaned and bit my lip, struggling to hold on.
“Wait for me.” He said it calmly, but I heard the order beneath the softness, and obeyed. I wanted to give him everything. Anything.
I lowered my hands and grasped the firm, taut roundness of his butt, prodding him on. Sam took my suggested and drove into me deeper and harder. What might have ordinarily been uncomfortable was merely intense. Pleasure and pain twisted together and became ecstasy. And just as I knew I couldn’t keep from reaching my climax, he shoved deep one last time and buried his face in my shoulder before exploding inside me.
I yelled his name and let go, taking us both out of our bodies and the world, to a place of pure sensation.
“Wow,” I said long moments later, when I could speak again.
“Pretty much.” Sam was still stretched out on top of me, his big body covering mine completely. “I wish the rest of the world would just disappear so we could stay here forever.”
“Me too.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course. Sam, you make me so happy.”
“I noticed. Three times?”
I giggled. “That’s not what I meant, but yes.”
“Mm. I can do better, I think.”
“What? No. I’m good. Really.”
He nuzzled at my breast. “Are you sure? I bet you could go again.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about.” But as I spoke, he thickened and lengthened again, still inside me. “Um, never mind.”
“Did you doubt me?”
“Of course not.”
“Liar.”
I smiled. “How can I make it up to you?”
He chuckled. “Turn over. Up on your hands and knees.”
I separated us and did what he asked. He was right behind me as soon as I got into position, stroking deep again. Still slick from before, I took everything he had to give, and loved it. One of his hands stayed on my hip while the other reached beneath me to caress my breasts as they hung heavily, swaying with the motions of our slower lovemaking.
“I don’t know what god was responsible for creating your body, Carly, but I thank them. I’d build a temple and a giant statue if I could bear the idea of anyone else seeing you like this. Perfect and round. Soft and mine.”
“Sam,” I whispered.
“What?”
“Stop talking nonsense and fuck me.”
He laughed and then growled and did just that.
* * *
Sleepy and sated in Sam’s arms a long time later, I couldn’t avoid the guilt bubbling through my brain. And, of course, he could tell.
“Really? All that and you’re still thinking too much?”
I nodded and put my head on his chest, enjoying the scent of his skin. “It’s a sickness.”
“I’ve noticed. Look, I didn’t want to spoil the mood earlier, but thank you, again, for sharing what you did with me. It means a lot that you trust me with your past.”
I tugged on a lock of his ink-black hair. “It was terrible to tell, but felt good too, in a weird way.”
“I understand. It can be hard to talk about things that change who we are, but it’s important to do it.”
I sat up and looked down at him. “That sounds like the voice of experience.”
Sam shrugged. “You know a little about my life growing up, but there’s a lot more to tell. I understand being shocked by sudden violence. I witnessed it all the time.”
“Your parents?”
“Yeah. We were such a silly cliché. Big family with the drunk father who liked to pound on his wife when life didn’t go his way.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. Putting my hand over his heart, I felt it beat under my fingers, and could almost feel it aching.
“I hated it. Couldn’t wait to get out of there. But I carry them with me. The lessons, bad as they were. That bastard gave me nothing but life and grief, but if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be a cop now. And I would have never met you. Terrible, unjust things happen. But sometimes they lead us down a path towards something bright and beautiful.”
At that, he rose and tugged me close for a kiss. It was soft and sweet and salty from the tears
I hadn’t realized I was shedding. For Sam and myself and the whole messed=up world.
He held me tight again, and I was about to try for another kiss when my stomach growled loud enough to wake the dead.
Sam, evil bastard that he was, nearly died laughing. “Well, fine. I open my heart here and your response is that? Very insensitive. Sorry my story kept you from having a snack.”
I slapped him lightly on the arm and grinned. “Be nice. I’m sleepy and hungry.”
“And you’d like me to do something about that?”
“Yes, please.”
“Anything for you, baby.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Standing in the kitchen in Sam’s t-shirt while he handed me combinations of food that sounded gross but tasted great felt like heaven. I hadn’t forgotten about Anna or anything else, but I felt at peace in a strange way. Like nothing really bad could happen if we were together. And, for the first time, that feeling didn’t scare me.
In the middle of a grape-peanut butter-chocolate experiment, Sam got a phone call. He rushed back into the bedroom to answer it while I kept eating. He returned in an even bigger hurry, shrugging into a shirt and holding car keys.
“What is it, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Good news.” He bent down to put on his shoes and I ran over.
“Tell me.”
“Fabian found Anna and says she’s okay. I’m going to meet him now for backup.”
My heart leapt. “Give me two minutes.”
“Carly, no.” He stood up and put his hands on my shoulders. “Stay here. We’ll bring her back. I don’t know the details but it’s safer for you here.”
I started to argue, mostly out of habit, but thought better of it. He was right. I wasn’t going to be any help to trained police officers. And I trusted Sam to make sure my girl was safe. “Okay.”
“Really? Just, ‘okay?'”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes.”
“Wow. Great. I need to run, but let me show you something.” He led me over to a door next to the bathroom. “Behind this door is a panic room. You know what that is?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Okay. You should be fine here alone, but just in case, all you have to do is go inside and shut the door. There’s a big red button to lock yourself in. Once you do that, no one can get inside. There should be food, water and an emergency phone in there. Some weapons too, probably, just so you’re not freaked.”
“All right.”
“You won’t need it. But-”
“I get it. Just in case.”
“Yeah.” He kissed me lightly on the lips, and he tasted like chocolate. Delicious. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Okay. Be careful, you.”
“I will.” He turned to walk away but stopped and looked back at me.
“What is it?”
Sam shrugged. “Nothing. I-I’ll see you soon.”
“I’ll be right here.”
“You might want to put some pants on. We’re having company.”
I laughed and shoved him. “Go get my friend.”
He smiled and headed out.
I sighed, not sure what to do with myself. Now that things were underway, my nerves returned. “No,” I told the empty loft. “You are not going to sit here worrying. Find something to do.” For lack of a better idea yet, I straightened up the kitchen, any semblance of my appetite long gone. I went into the bedroom and pulled on a pair of sweatpants I found in a drawer and wandered around the loft for a bit. The space was nice, but not big enough to distract me for long.
I plopped down on the sofa and picked up the remote. It had zillion of buttons I couldn’t figure out, but after a lot of random pushing and cursing, I managed to turn the television on. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get anything but a home-shopping channel to come up. Groaning, I walked over to the set and opened the cabinet below it, hoping to find a cable box or instructions or something. Instead I found a DVD player and a box of movies.
“I guess this will have to do.”
I rifled through the collection, not at all surprised to find lots of action, horror and soft-core porn. Sitting next to the box was a black case. I opened it and read the note taped opposite the disk. It said, “Blast from the past, brother.”
Curious, I slid it into the player and went back to sit down. It started playing automatically and I saw it was some low-budget film called Escape Plan. I watched a few minutes and laughed. It was terrible. Bad acting, cheesy dialogue and overwrought plot. Something about a kid who saw his mother murdered and ran away from home to find the killer. He got into all kinds of trouble on the road, managing to run into every evil criminal stereotype I could think of. I fast-forwarded through a lot of it, but managed to get the gist. The kid eventually ended up hitchhiking through the desert and got picked up by a youngish guy in a very tight t-shirt. He seemed a little creepy at first, but ended up buying the boy dinner at a diner and getting him to open up about his life. In the middle of their conversation, the man told the kid something pithy about how running away never solved anything, since your problems have a way of following you. After he spoke, he pumped his fist and then snapped his fingers.
“Holy shit,” I muttered. The movie must have belonged to Sam’s friend, Fabian. And was probably where Sam learned that weird little gesture. A thought tickled the back of my brain, but didn’t have time to fully form before I heard a noise behind me.
I jumped up, looking quickly between the door and the panic room. A face appeared as the door slid aside. He was tall and had dark hair like Sam, but the wide smile on his face was unfamiliar.
“Hey, sorry if I startled you. Carly, right?”
I nodded, eying him warily.
“Great.” He walked inside with a loose, casual stride. “I’m Johnny.”
I stared at him blankly, wondering how fast I could run.
“Johnny Fabian? Sam’s buddy?”
“Oh,” I said, relaxing my shoulders. “He never mentioned your first name. Sorry.”
“No problem.” He flashed a wide grin showcasing a mouth full of bright white teeth that freaked me out for some reason. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Um, you too.” Something wasn’t right. “Where’s Sam?”
He furrowed his brow and took a few steps closer to me. “He’s not here?”
“No. He went to meet you, I thought. About an hour ago, maybe less.”
“What?” Fabian pulled a phone out of his pocket. “That’s weird. I’ve been trying to call him but couldn’t get him.”
Worry bubbled up in my chest. “I don’t understand. You didn’t call and talk to him?”
“Not since earlier this morning.”
“But…then where did he go?” I sank down onto the sofa, completely baffled.
“I have no idea.”
I jumped, as Fabian had managed to make it across the room and was standing almost next to me. “Oh! You startled me. Again.”
“Ha. Sorry. Quiet as a cat, I’ve been told.” He looked down at me as if memorizing every bit of me. It was as intent as Sam’s gaze, but not nearly as alluring. In fact, something about it was giving me the creeps, big time.
“It’s okay. I’m just kind of nervous today, with everything going on.”
“Of course,” he replied, folding his long limbs to sit down next to me. “You know, I have to say, I’m really excited to finally meet you. Sam has told me such wonderful things. And you’re even more beautiful than I imagined.”
My creep-o-meter exploded off the scale and it took everything I had to avoid scampering away from him. “Th-thanks.”
“Yeah, you’re definitely his type. A real Amazon kind of woman. Did he tell you we used to always fall for the same girls? We were very competitive.”
I twisted my face in what I hoped was an approximation of a smile. Was he hitting on me? Now, with everything, and this weirdness about Sam’s location?
“Anyway, since we’ve got a little time
alone, tell me about yourself. I want to know more about the girl who’s got my man so twisted in knots.”
“Um…shouldn’t we figure out where Sam is? And Anna?”
“Who?” he asked absently, his eyes raking over my body.
“My friend Anna. When Sam left he said you’d found her.”
Fabian shrugged. “Oh, right. Sure.” He slung an arm over the back of the sofa and slid closer to me. “There’s plenty of time for that.”
I shoved to my feet, enraged. “Look, I don’t know what you’re playing at here, but I need to know what’s going on. I’ve been patient, but I’m worried.”
“Honey, relax.” He patted the leather next to him. “Sit down.”
“No. Just tell me what’s going on.”
He chuckled. “You’re a spitfire. I bet he loves that, too.”
“Damn it-” I started to say when the paused DVD started playing again.
We both turned to the screen as the sound blared from the speakers.
“Hey, where’d you find that?”
“In the cabinet,” I said. “It’s yours?”
“Yeah. A gift from Sam. What do you think of the flick?”
“Not really my style.” I reached down for the remote to turn it off, but froze in the middle of the motion. The movie. The weird gesture. Sam. Fabian. I thought back to the warehouse where I’d seen the large man who also made that gesture. The one who looked enough like Sam from a distance to fool anyone. “Oh my god,” slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.
Fabian’s smile disappeared, melting quickly from his face. A cruel sneer replaced it. “Uh-oh, looks like you just figured something out. Tell Johnny all about it.”
I thought about how far the panic room door was. How fast I could get there. I plastered a fake smile on my face and tried to buy myself some time. “Oh, sorry. Just being silly. You know, worried about my friend. And Sam, of course.”
“Sure, right.” His tone was casual and friendly but his dark eyes were flat and humorless.
“Um, I’ve been so rude. Can I get you something to eat or drink? There’s beer and some liquor. No real food, but plenty of snacks.”
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