“Campari and soda. And has Nikki been up yet?”
Sam hesitated, looking up at Jax. “I remember you.” He shook his head.
“No. And she won’t be up.” Sam turned, speaking over his shoulder.
“Is she off?” Jax frowned. Nikki usually worked Fridays.
A voice at his shoulder spoke. “She’s off alright. Permanently. Bitch quit.”
Jax turned, scowling. An older, heavy-set man was standing next to him. Jax recognized him as the club owner.
“Quit? When?”
“Tonight, start of her shift. Wanted to come in through the front door. She knows the rules…dancers use the back alley or not at all. Guess she chose not at all.” The man suddenly seemed to realize he was talking to a customer.
“But, you know, we have lots of other girls…Eden is working tonight, should be up any minute. She’s gorgeous, you’d like her. If you want, I’ll reserve a private room for you, set up a dance…”
Jax barely heard the rest of the man’s pitch. As he shouldered his way past him, pushing open the front door to the sidewalk, he heard the guy calling after him but he didn’t stop to listen.
Once on the sidewalk, he ran a hand through his hair, panic rising up in him, his heart skidding out of control in his chest. The irony of the situation hit him; he’d finally found the perfect woman, only to lose her over something as stupid as this, as simple as not knowing how to find her.
There was no other way for him to find Nikki than to trail her through the city. The thought had crossed his mind to get her cell number or ask for her address, but the time never seemed right, or it had slipped his mind. Or…
As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t blame Bec for this, even though he’d barged into his room, barged in on him in bed with Nikki.
He shook his head. There wasn’t time now to worry about what he hadn’t done. It was time to find Nikki.
His senses were still on overdrive, the wolf still strong in him. Even though the moon was past full, it still affected him deeply. He closed his eyes, opening his senses to the sounds, and particularly the scents around him.
Last night, he’d followed Nikki and Lori back to Lori’s apartment. He’d hung back in the shadows, ghosting behind the women, never letting them know he was there. Once they’d entered the aging red brick building, it took longer to find which apartment they’d gone into, as he’d climbed the rickety metal fire escape, working his way slowly around the building.
Finally he’d found her scent and he’d crouched outside the bedroom window, watching her sleep as sunrise grew closer. He risked being caught outside the den, barely making it back to his room before he changed back to his human form.
Tonight, the clouds and the impending rain worked in his favor. The air was heavy, holding scents like a sponge. Nikki’s was there, as clear as if she was right in front of him.
It wasn’t long before he realized he was heading in the same direction, down the same streets he’d gone the night before. She was headed back to Lori’s apartment.
Jax hesitated outside the building. There was no easy way to do this, he’d just have to go get her. If she didn’t want to come with him…he didn’t want to think about that right now. If necessary, he’d just carry her out of the apartment.
The apartment was in an old building, the street door open, two guys sitting on the steps sharing a bottle. Jax walked between them, ignoring their comments.
He climbed the stairs to the third floor, counted the doors in the hall, trying to get his bearings, envisioning what the building looked like from his vantage point on the fire escape. Her scent was so heavy here, mingled with dozens of other pungent scents, it was difficult to know exactly where she was. Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door he hoped Nikki was behind.
There were voices, and he recognized Nikki’s and then Lori’s, as she undid the multiple locks on the door. It finally opened a crack, the safety chain still in place and Jax caught a glimpse of Lori’s face. She looked at him for a moment, then the door closed. He could hear the chain being pulled back and then the door opened again.
“Come in.” Lori held the door for Jax. Her face was an unreadable mask, her voice neutral, but he could sense disapproval in her posture, in the tension at the corners of her eyes.
“Who is it?” He heard Nikki’s voice from somewhere in the depths of the tiny apartment.
“It’s for you…” Lori closed the door behind Jax. He let her walk ahead of him down the short hall, into a dingy living room.
Nikki was curled up on the couch, a glass of what smelled like straight whiskey in her hand. When she saw him, her eyes went wide with surprise. But her voice was cold.
“Well, I’ll be damned. Look who’s here.” She set her glass on the coffee table, her hand trembling slight. “How’d you find me?”
Her question caught him off guard and he had no ready answer.
“I came to talk to you.” He took a step toward her. Lori moved to his left, a not so subtle move that put her between him and Nikki. He was struck again by her protective nature, the way she instinctively seemed to be looking out for Nikki.
And then it hit him. That strange scent he’d smelled on Nikki the night before. He glanced at Lori, but she was looking away. He shook his head, focusing on Nikki.
“I went to the club, to see you.” He gradually moved closer as he spoke, circling the room, trying to slow his beating heart, control his shallow breathing. “I wanted to see you, Nikki. See if you were…to see you again.”
With all his heart he wanted to scoop her up and carry her away. But he sensed he still had a way to go to win her over.
She frowned at him, clearly confused. “You wanted to see me? Why?”
Lori was perched on the arm of the couch now, arms folded across her chest. Jax glanced at her and then looked back at Nikki.
“Can we go somewhere, talk maybe?”
Nikki looked up at Lori and Jax felt his stomach drop, knowing he’d probably lost any chance he had. But to his surprise, Lori nodded. Nikki looked as shocked by Lori’s nod as he was.
“Really? You think I should go with him?”
“Nikki, he came after you. No other guy’s done that. Give him a chance at least.” She stood, catching Jax’s eye as she walked past.
“It’s not always what you think it is.” Her voice was low, barely audible. But he heard her.
She tossed the rest of her words back over her shoulder. “Besides, I want a nice peaceful night and if you two are going to be talking…or anything else…I’m not going to be getting any sleep.” He saw her suppress a small smile as she left the room.
“Come on.” Jax held out his hand and Nikki took it. She stumbled slightly as she put on her shoes and he realized she was a little drunk. But she grabbed her jacket and purse, walking ahead of him down the hall.
Nikki was quiet in the cab ride to his house. Jax opened the door, letting her into the downstairs. There were voices in the kitchen, Bec’s and a few other pack members. Jax steered Nikki up the wide staircase and down the hall to his room. He closed the door behind them, thumbing the lock this time, not taking any chance on being interrupted.
“So, this is a really big house. Lots of people coming and going. What’s the deal?” Nikki tossed her purse on the bed, shrugging out of her jacket.
“It’s been in the family for a long time…couple hundred years or so. One of the first built out here, when this land was still far outside the city.” It really wasn’t an answer to her question, but they were questions he wasn’t ready to answer just yet.
Jax pulled the chair out from the desk. He sat down, elbows on his knees. Nikki was sitting across from him on his bed and it was all he could do to not lunge across the few feet that separated them and take her right there. Her scent, her body, her very being called out to him. But he drew a deep breath, trying to control the primal urges surging through his body.
“Nikki, somehow things got off track with us…and
I want to fix that.”
She laughed, a harsh sound. “Fix what? Fix that I’m a stripper? I bet you were really happy when you found out I didn’t work at the club anymore, huh? Couldn’t wait to find me now that I’m not whoring myself on stage for a living.” She looked around the room, the high ceilings, the ornate moldings, the solid oak doors.
“Can’t bring a stripper to a house like this. Just not right.”
Nikki got off the bed. He sat back in the chair, almost forced back, as Nikki walked up to him.
“You think because I’m a stripper I’m something cheap, just a girl you can use. Pay for whatever you want and then toss me aside.”
Nikki leaned forward, her hands on Jax’s knees, pushing his legs apart. He resisted and she pushed harder. He was totally taken off guard by her aggressiveness, her combative nature.
“Let me finish that lap dance I started. You never got the full treatment. You broke the rules and touched me. But no touching now.”
Jax was breathing hard, the closeness of her body to his setting off a chain reaction of emotions and sensations, not all of them under his control. Having her this close, when he wanted her so badly, was almost more than he could stand.
Nikki leaned forward, her breasts sliding up the front of his body. He stiffened in response and by the look in her eyes, she knew exactly what she was doing to him. She smiled at him, a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. It was the pasted on smile of a temptress who was used to creating a fantasy for men with her body, with her movements.
“You like this, right? I can tell. You’re getting all hot and excited, you’re getting hard.” Her face was inches from his, her breath warm on his cheeks. She leaned further into him, sliding her lips down his neck, her tongue flicking out, hot and wet on his skin.
She turned suddenly, arching her back, her hips grinding against his erection. He groaned, his hands instinctively on her waist, holding her tightly. Just as instinctively his hips flexing upward. Nikki looked at him over her shoulder. Her face was flushed, her lips parted, leaning back against him.
“See? You all fall for it, the routine, the fantasy. But all this is just make-believe. For me…and for you. I’m just a paper doll, all dressed up, for all of you to use, to play with…to fuck.”
She tried to stand but Jax grabbed her upper arms, sitting her back on his lap. His breathing was shallow, his heart thudding in his chest. Having her this close, her scent all around, was driving him insane. That she was hurt by his actions was breaking his heart.
He nuzzled her neck, her hair against his cheek, warm and soft. He closed his eyes, letting the sensation of having her so close wash over him, wrapping his arms around her body, hugging her tightly.
“No, Nikki. You’ve got it wrong…all wrong.” He breathed the words against her neck, his hands sliding up to cup her breasts. He felt a tightness in his chest, a longing so deep and powerful it made him almost cry. “So very wrong.”
Jax stood, turning Nikki around, pulling her against the length of his body. He caressed her face with one hand, the other splayed across her back.
“You’re not my fantasy, you’re real. You’re what I want, just as you are.” His eyes traveled over her face, confusion evident in her eyes, along with pain. His voice was hoarse with emotion when he spoke. “You’re not just a stripper, Nikki. Never have been. You’re so much more than that to me.”
He scooped her up, carrying her to the bed, laying her gently on the blankets. She looked up at him, her eyes wide, her hair spread across his pillow.
“How can I be more? You hardly know me.”
Jax climbed onto the bed beside her, fingers tracing over her cheek. “I know. I know here…” He placed his hand on her chest, over her heart. “I feel it, Nikki. In my bones, in my very soul.”
He leaned down, brushing his lips against hers. For an instant she didn’t respond, but then, slowly she relaxed beneath his touch, her lips parting. After a moment her arms came up and she wrapped them around his neck.
The kiss deepened and he slid one hand beneath her body, pulling her against him. She responded, arching her back, her breasts pressed against his chest, hips against his.
The kiss went on, her tongue flicking out, tracing the contours of his lower lip before slipping into his mouth. The touch of her sent a thrill through his body and he shivered, pulling her closer, his body moving over hers.
He wanted her skin against his, their clothes suddenly a huge obstacle. His hands tugged at the zipper on her jeans, fingers moving restlessly beneath her shirt. She responded instantly, her hands pulling his t-shirt up, palms sliding over his chest.
Then she was pushing him over onto his back, rising up beside him.
“Why do you want me? What makes me so special?” Her voice was low, hesitant, full of doubt.
He looked up at her, her eyes questioning his, longing and hope and a myriad of emotions all playing across her face.
“I want you because you’re meant for me. You’re my mate, my soul mate…my everything.” He held her hand, kissing her fingertips before pulling her down on top of him. She squirmed in his grasp and he saw a smile playing about her lips.
“You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, Nikki. You’re like no other girl I’ve ever met. And I want you, like I’ve never wanted anything before.”
He sat up, pulling his shirt over his head. Reaching for Nikki, he slid her shirt up over her head, her hair falling about her shoulders. He drew a sharp breath as an image of her, as his mate…in wolf form…flashed through his mind. He saw her sleek and agile, the color of sable tinged with fire.
She pushed him back on the bed, reaching for the snap and zipper of his jeans, her lower lip caught in her teeth in concentration. He lay with his arms behind his head, as she slowly pulled down the zipper, tugging down his jeans over his hips.
Her fingers were warm as she took his cock in her hand and he groaned softly. She held him, stroking him softly, slowly. She watched him, her eyes never leaving his face, her cheeks flushed, lips parted.
When he couldn’t take anymore he sat up, tipping her back on the bed. He had her jeans off in a heartbeat, looking down at her lush body spread out beneath him.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Nikki. You’re a goddess. Never let anyone tell you any differently. Never tell yourself that either.”
She looked up at him with large eyes, tears welling up in them. He leaned forward, her breasts warm against his chest, kissing her softly. When he withdrew, she was crying.
“No one has ever said that before. At least no one who actually meant it.”
“You should be told that every day.”
“Are you offering?” She smiled at him, and he nodded.
“Yes…I am.”
Jax settled himself over Nikki, resting his elbows beside her shoulders, her legs moving apart, accepting him between them. He wanted to take her, make love to her badly, but he wanted to let her come to him, let her show him when she was ready.
She caressed his face with soft fingers, her body moving beneath him. Her hips were rising to meet his, her thighs brushing against his hips. She’d caught her lip between her teeth again, looking up at him, her eyes no longer filled with pain. But doubt shadowed them.
“Jax, is this more than just a fling for you? There’s something else here?”
He nodded. “I’m falling in love you, Nikki. Like I’ve never fallen in love with any woman before.”
She pulled him to her then, her kiss hot and hard, her hips rolling up, seeking him. And he found her, shifting his hips, her incredible warmth surrounding his cock as he entered her.
He wanted to make love to her for hours, but some barrier broke loose between them and in minutes they were thrashing in a primal dance, bodies slick with sweat, breath rasping fast and hard, hearts pounding.
Nikki cried out, her body arching up beneath him as she met him, thrust for thrust. Jax was out of control, his body taking over, Nikki’s bod
y bringing every cell in his body alive. He ached for release as much as he wanted to prolong this feeling. But the animal urges of his body won.
When he came, it was with a force that shook him to his very core. He threw his head back, almost howling at the ceiling, pushing himself further into Nikki, wanting to be swallowed by her.
She twisted beneath him, her hair a tangled mass flowing across the pillow. Jax felt every nuance of her body, every muscle that tightened and pulsed, contracted and released, the ebb and flow of her as she came.
They were a sweaty disheveled mass of arms and legs, twisted sheets, pillows flung to the floor when it was all over. Jax had never been so relaxed, so content, yet so aware of everything around him, especially everything that centered on Nikki. He could sense her heartbeat, her breathing, the flow of blood through her veins. All of it was intoxicating, a heady mixture that made him dizzy.
After a long time she snuggled against him, sighing deeply and he managed to pull the blanket over them. She was so quiet, her breathing slow and regular, that he thought she was asleep. When she spoke, it startled him.
“Do you still mean what you said? About falling in love with me?”
For the second time that night, her question took him by surprise. But for this question he had an answer.
“Of course I do.” He kissed her forehead, his fingers winding through her hair. “Why would you think I didn’t?”
She shifted uneasily in his arms. “Because no guy ever has…loved me after.”
Jax thought his heart would break at the sadness in her voice. He pulled her against him, cradling her body, kissing her forehead, her cheeks, finally resting his chin on her head as he held her.
“Nikki, I’m not one of those guys. When I give you all of me, it’s yours to keep for as long as you want me. Nothing will change that. Not with me.”
Her shoulders trembled and he realized she was crying. He gently pushed her back, looking into her face.
“I’m sorry, Nikki…I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
But she was shaking her head, her a smile playing about her lips. “It’s okay. It’s just an odd place for me to be in…these feelings that I have. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. It’s…it’s scary.” She sniffed, wiping her eyes on the sheet.
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