“I know it is. But you can trust me, Nikki. I promise…I’ll never hurt you.”
She was looking up at him, her eyes shining in the dim light from the hall.
“Do you believe me, Nikki?”
“I do. I believe you, Jax.” The tears spilled from her eyes.
Jax rose over her, holding her face in his hands, his eyes locked with hers.
“Good. Because I love you, Nikki. I can’t ask you to feel the same and that’s okay. But know that right now, and for as long as I live, I will love you.”
* * *
Jax woke slowly, every sense coming alive to Nikki, warm in bed beside him. To her soft breathing, the beat of her heart as she slept. He drew in her scent—their scent—and smiled. It was right, he knew it, in his heart and mind. She was the one for him.
He wanted her, more than any woman he’d ever wanted before. It went far deeper than just his physical needs, which were very apparent at the moment. He wanted to find out what made her happy, how to make her happy. And he wanted to protect her, from anything…everything…that could possibly hurt her.
The light through the window was muted and Jax heard the rain falling softly against the glass. It was early. There was no reason for either of them hurry, no reason for them to leave the confines of his warm bed. He had nowhere to be and Nikki, without a job, didn’t need to wake up…yet.
She was facing away from him. Rising up on one elbow, he watched her sleep, gently brushing a strand of hair away from her forehead. He shivered as a fleeting reminder of yesterday’s panic ran through him, how close he’d come to losing her, not once, but twice. His heart skipped a beat as images of Nikki in the alley flashed through his mind, the wolf-thing poised to attack, fangs bared, intent on killing her. And then he shook his head at his own stupidity in forgetting something as simple as getting her cell phone number.
The memory of not being able to communicate with her, in wolf form, made him growl low in his throat. If he’d been able to tell her who he was, that he was there for her, tell her anything…it could have lessened her fear, taken away the terror he’d seen in her eyes.
And it would have made his life, their lives, so much easier. There was nothing he could do now, short of telling her who…and what…he was. But her reaction, her naked vulnerability last night, made it clear she wasn’t ready to hear his truth. If his telling her he loved her, that she was loved, sent her into a tailspin, then finding out the man who told her that was a werewolf probably would send her someplace he’d never be able to reach her.
His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden movement in the bed. Nikki stirred beside him, stretching, eyes still closed. He ran a hand over her curvy waist, sliding it up to run his fingertips across her cheek, over to her chin, her skin soft and heated. Nikki stretched again, a slow sinuous movement that brought her in extremely close, and extremely enjoyable, contact with his erection.
She made a noise, low in her throat, that sounded like purring and Jax smiled, nuzzling her neck. He moved his other arm beneath her shoulder, cradling her against him. She snuggled back and he marveled at how her body fit against his, her curves matching his angles, molding to him perfectly. Another wave of arousal coursed through his body, leaving him slightly breathless.
“Morning, Nikki.” He kissed her neck, sliding his lips along her shoulder. She was all soft skin and deep scents, intoxicating and arousing. Closing his eyes, he let his lips move slowly back up to her ear, his tongue flicking along the lobe before teasing it gently with his teeth. She murmured something indistinct and then he moved his lips back to the hollow beneath her jaw. Her tender skin tasted warm and sweet, like honey and cinnamon.
She tried to turn to face him, but he held her firmly, his hips flexing forward against her ass, her soft skin pressed against his cock, heating him even more than he already was. Desire flared, hot and insistent, his voice a low growl as he pulled her hard against him.
“Like this…” He shifted slightly, rolling her back against him, his hand sliding slowly back down her stomach. Her skin beneath his fingers was softer than anything he’d ever felt, smooth and silky, warm and alive.
She shuddered as his fingers slipped between her legs, moving with slow deliberation, teasing, touching, probing further and further. Her purring changed to a breathless moan, her head tipped back against his shoulder.
“Jax…” She turned her head back and he found her lips with his, his fingers tangled in all that fine hair. She seemed fragile this morning and as he held her, he tried to be delicate, as gentle as he could be with her, a piece of fine porcelain.
Their kiss quickly turned powerful and intense, as her tongue slid between his lips, brushing against his. The pressure of her body against his increased, her back arching as she pushed her hips back against him. He moaned against her mouth, his blood running hot through his veins.
“Nikki, God…Nikki. I want you so much.”
She looked at him over her shoulder, eyes half-closed, heavy with desire as he touched her, slid his finger into the wet heat between her legs. She cried out, her hips jerking with each stroke of his fingers.
Every tremor of her body sent a jolt through Jax, his hips jerking forward, pushing himself against her. When he couldn’t stand it anymore, he pulled his hand away, her small cry of frustration silenced by his mouth.
He ran his hand beneath her silken thigh, raising her leg. As she pushed back against him, he curved his body to her, sliding his cock between her legs, against her slick folds and finally into her encompassing warm, exactly where he wanted to be. Her cry was louder as she took him in, as he thrust forward, and he answered her with a deep growl of pleasure.
It wasn’t long before Nikki was crying out with each stroke he made, as he rocked her back against him with his arm around her waist, the momentum of their bodies driving him further into her. The warmth of her body, her scent as he held her against him, all sent a rush of heat through him, through every cell of his body.
Nikki reached back, her hand on his head, fingers gripping his scalp. She met his eyes and her gaze reflected everything that was happening in his body, the heat and passion that flowed between them.
There was no holding back for him, nothing he could do to stop what he’d started. Nikki was twisting against him and he clutched her hard, his body taking on a life of its own, hips flexing forward in their own rhythm, as he came. Every conscious thought left him and he was pure sensation, the room around him fading, leaving him only with the feel of Nikki in his arms and his body’s powerful release.
Nikki cried out as she pushed back hard, shaking and trembling, eyes closed. She joined him, every subtle movement of her body transmitted to Jax in exquisite, dramatic detail.
As the final waves of Jax’s orgasm faded, Nikki lay still in his arms, resting against his chest. His breathing had slowed, and he was drifting, on the verge of sleep when she spoke.
“Jax, let me go.” She turned to look at him, smiling. “You can let me go now.”
“Oh, sorry.” He relaxed his grip and she moved onto the empty side of the bed, turning to face him. Her face was still softly flushed, lips so lush and full, and she reached out, touching his cheek with her fingertips.
“That’s some way to wake up. I could get used to that.”
He took her hand, kissing her fingers. “I could get used to waking you up that way. And yes, before you ask, I still love you after.”
She ducked her head, and he saw a vivid blush creep up her cheeks. “Oh, that. I was a little drunk, I think. Nothing important.”
“I think it was more than being a little drunk. And it’s important to me, how you feel, what you think.” He slipped his fingers beneath her chin, tipping her face up, meeting her eyes.
“Talk to me, Nikki. I’m here.” He brushed his lips across her forehead.
She settled back against the pillow. “Talking isn’t something I’m good at, I mean, talking about feelings and things…the important things, like
you said.”
“I’m not either. It’s easier to just keep it all inside, not let anyone in.” He sighed, rolling onto his back, arm behind his head, turning to look at her. “But I want to let you in, when you’re ready.”
“Talking wasn’t a part of my childhood. Yelling, maybe, but not talking. Completely underdeveloped skill.” Her voice was low, with a hint of self-deprecation that took him by surprise.
She looked so different in the morning light, her face soft, her make-up faded. She looked younger, innocent. And vulnerable. An ache rose in Jax’s chest, the urge to protect her almost overwhelming.
“Well, you can practice with me. Tell me something, anything. No judgment, no comments if you don’t want any. I’ll just listen.”
She glanced up at him and the innocent fresh-faced girl was gone in an instant. Her expression closed down, her eyes shuttered, her face hard. The look was familiar to him; self-protection kicking into over drive. He’d hit a nerve and he wondered if she’d even answer him. She was quiet for so long he didn’t think she would. But finally she took a deep breath, meeting his gaze.
“You can’t look at me. Turn your head.” She reached across the space between them, fingers on his chin, gently turning his head away. Looking up at the ceiling, he waited, not impatiently but anxious to hear what she had to say, what was so hard for her to talk about.
“Well, there are my parents.” She cleared her throat. “My parents. I guess that’s where I started, so...”
The bed dipped as she moved and Jax turned his head, almost expecting her to be leaving it, and him. But she was still there, watching him. She reached over, again turning his head away again.
“My parents were born here in Philly, never left the neighborhood where they grew up. Got married young, had to get married. Because of me.”
Nikki made a noise in her throat, of disgust or maybe empathy, he couldn’t tell. He held his breath, waiting for her to continue. The silence spun out for several minutes.
“They fought a lot…all the time, really. I’m not sure if they loved each other or not. But they sure knew how to fight. Dinner was the worst. We were all in the same place at the same time, no escape. They liked to force me into the middle of their fights, making me choose sides…to validate one or the other, always forced to choose.”
She stopped talking and Jax turned his head slightly, getting a brief glimpse of Nikki. She wore a troubled expression, her eyes clouded with memories, none of them apparently good. He quickly looked away.
“I think they were still just kids, never really grew up, even though they had me. And then…it got worse. My old man started drinking…and after that I wasn’t his daughter anymore, I was something else… he’d come into my room at night and…” she suddenly went quiet, and it was clear she felt she had said too much. “My mom started hitting him, and me, and it just all went sideways pretty quickly.”
There was movement next to him, Nikki’s hand brushing softly against his hip. Slowly, as if she were a frightened animal…or small child…he reached out, searching for her hand in the sheets. Initially she pulled away from his grasp, then moved her hand back, just her fingertips brushing his.
“And then, they were gone.” Her voice was flat.
“Gone?”
“Dead. In a car accident. They were coming back from a bar. My father was drunk and I supposed my mom was yelling at him. The car swerved into the other lane. They were killed instantly.”
He turned to her, pulling her hand into his. “Nikki, I’m so sorry.”
She was staring up at the ceiling and she didn’t turn to look at him. “Don’t be. I wasn’t…I’m not.”
This time her voice broke and Jax watched a tear roll down the side of her face.
“Nikki…I…”
She turned to him suddenly, her eyes searching his, the pain so evident it was like a physical blow to Jax. She clutched his hand, drawing it up to her chest.
“They were my fucking parents! They were supposed to take care of me, be there for me. And they weren’t. They never were. He…he destroyed who I would have been and my mother…she didn’t even love me enough to protect me from the worst betrayal of my life. She just let it happen…”
Sobs wracked her body and Jax disentangled his hand from hers, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to his chest. She buried her face in his shoulder and he rocked her gently, kissing the top of her head.
There was nothing he could say, no words that would even come close to being adequate. He let her cry, until she was quiet against him.
Nikki pulled away from him, sniffling.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t need to hear this.” She sat up, holding the sheet to her chest, not meeting his eyes.
Jax sat up next to her, his fingers beneath her chin, gently turning her to face him. “Yeah, Nikki. I do. I can’t fix what happened in your life before I met you. But I can try my damndest to make sure nothing ever hurts you again.”
“But why? Why care so much…about me?”
There was such a naked vulnerability in her face that he couldn’t speak for a minute. When he found his voice, it was rough, with passion, with his love for Nikki, with a whole range of emotions he didn’t even know he could feel.
“Because I love you. And beyond that, in my heart, in my very being, you are the one for me, my mate. The one I want to spend my life with.”
Jax leaned forward, his lips on Nikki’s, softly, barely touching her. She tensed beneath him and he stilled himself, until she relaxed, until she moved against his mouth.
The kiss was slow and bittersweet. There was longing and an aching need evident in Nikki’s kiss and it touched Jax so deeply, so profoundly, that this girl in his arms could be so starved for love.
Instinctively he pulled her against him, and she tensed again before slowly relaxing, her fingers slowly tracing patterns across his back.
He lifted his head after a time, looking at Nikki. The room had gotten brighter, a dim sun finally struggling through the clouds. In the back of his mind he was aware the rain had stopped.
“You’re crazy, you know?” But she was smiling at him, her fingers on his cheek. He rolled over, pinning her to the bed, her body shifting beneath him.
“I might be. But as far as I know, it’s a good kind of crazy.” He kissed her face, her eyelids, her cheeks.
This time coming together was slow and long and sweet. He took her gently, content to just have her surround him, to lie still in her arms, listening to her breathing, moving occasionally against her warmth.
Something had changed between them. For Jax, everything was strangely new, undiscovered territory, but still familiar. Nikki’s eyes no longer had the haunted look of longing. She looked at him fully, her eyes showing a burgeoning confidence and trust.
“I love you, Nikki. I’ll keep loving you, crazy or not. That’s just how I am.”
She’d started moving, slowly at first but now she was coming alive beneath him. He responded, slowly thrusting into her, giving her a little bump at the end. She smiled, giving him a little bump of her own.
“So you’re loyal? Like a dog? Always there when I need you?”
“More than you know. And, for the most part, I don’t shed or need to be walked.”
She laughed, and then words weren’t necessary. Jax kissed her and as soon as their lips met, the slow-burning fire that had been smoldering between them hit its flash point, passion and heat and lust boiling up between them.
It was quickly all consuming for Jax. He was caught up in a swirl of his own sensations, aware of Nikki joining him, both of them clinging to each other as their bodies reached release, fast and hard and complete.
Jax flung himself onto the empty half of the bed, breathing hard, sweat covering his chest. Nikki finally sat up and leaned over him, looking lush and wanton and utterly beautiful.
“Yeah, you are crazy, Jax…crazy good.” She smiled, delicately tracing a line down his chest with her fingers.
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He returned her smile, still gasping a little. “And maybe crazy good for you, too.”
* * *
It had been late afternoon when Nikki finally left Jax’s house, in a cab he’d called and insisted on paying for.
They’d stayed in bed most of the day, Jax going down to the kitchen at one point t and bringing her back the biggest ham sandwich she’d ever seen, with all the trimmings. She devoured it, along with a huge glass of beer, unsuccessfully trying to stifle a series of burps as she lay back, stuffed with food.
She didn’t want to go back to her apartment, really didn’t want to be alone, so she had the cabbie take her to Lori’s.
Lori met her at the door, immediately breaking into a wide grin as she looked Nikki up and down.
“You, love, have been fucked beyond all reason and sense, haven’t you?” She grabbed Nikki by the arm, pulling her inside.
“And still wearing the same clothes you had on last night? My, how things change in…” She glanced at an imaginary watch on her wrist “…less than twenty-four hours.”
Nikki stood in the living room, rolling her eyes, watching Lori. “Are you finished? If you weren’t such a bitch about it, I’d give you all the details.”
Lori laughed, unfazed by Nikki’s comments. She walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, calling back over her shoulder. “You want a beer? Or something to eat? I have two-day old Chinese or day-old pizza.”
She straightened just in time to see the grimace on Nikki’s face. “Oh, so the food’s no good here anymore?”
“I just ate, but I will take a beer.”
Lori emerged from the frosty depths of the refrigerator with two bottles. She opened them and holding one out to Nikki.
“So, it was good?” Lori tipped the bottle back, taking a hefty swallow before sitting down at the other end of the couch.
“Yeah. It was.” Nikki settled on the couch, kicking off her shoes and tucking her legs beneath her.
The Alpha's Touch Boxed Set (14 Book Bundle) Page 61
