A Deeper Blue

by S. E. Harmon

“It means you should give people more credit. Especially friends who have your back.”

  I stared out the window. Well, that answered any questions I’d had about whether he knew and whether or not he heard Kelly and I having wild bathroom sex. “You don’t speak for everyone,” I finally said.

  “You don’t need everyone. And news flash, you don’t have everyone now. Or do you think Rakevik and you are going to be braiding one another’s hair next weekend?” He leveled me with a stare. “I’ve been in your house, dude. And his. You know me better than to think I’m some homophobic—”

  “Shhh.” I was damn near ready to slap a hand over his mouth, and we both glanced around guiltily. Luckily no one was paying us a bit of attention.

  He lowered his voice. “You know me better than to think I’m some homophobic asshole. I thought we could be honest with one another.”

  “We can,” I snapped.

  “Then do it. Right here, right now. Say it. If not for me, then for you.” He socked me in the shoulder. “For God’s sake, Blue, you think holding that shit in is good for you?” I glared at him, and he socked me again. “Say it.”

  “I’m… I’m in a relationship.” If my tone were any lower or quieter, I was pretty sure it would’ve dropped off the register for human ears.

  “With who?” he prodded.

  I gritted my teeth. “With Kelly. Are you happy now?”

  “Pretty much.” He socked me again. “How do you feel?”

  “I’d feel better if you’d stop belting me in the arm. I kind of need that… you know, to catch a fucking football?”

  “What’s all the hush-hush whispering about up here?” Warner popped his head through the hole between our seats, and we nearly jumped a mile. “I can’t sleep with you assholes whispering.”

  Dane looked at my face and then at Warner’s expectant one and then back to mine. He made one more circuit as the silence stretched and I struggled to come up with something benign. He finally sighed. “Blue was telling me that my ex-girl was thirsty as a Bounty paper towel, and I’m better off without her.”

  I smiled at him gratefully. Anything about someone’s sex life was sure to distract Warner. It kind of helped that it was also true. Dane’s ex-girl was… well, I’ll just say he was better off without her.

  “You talkin’ about Lisa? Oh,” Warner crowed. “I’m glad we’re finally allowed to talk about that shit. Your girl was a straight up—”

  “Watch it,” Dane growled.

  “Should we go through the rows that had a piece of that?” He glanced around. “A1. F2. D3.”

  “Fuck off, Warner.”

  “What the fuck are you guys going on about?” Now Diesel was up. He leaned into the aisle across from us as another player turned in the seat in front of us. “Are we finally telling Warner off? Because I really want in on that.”

  Warner wasn’t quite done listing Dane’s ex-girlfriend’s conquests as he scanned the occupants of each row. “H2. Guy in the emergency exit seat.”

  Dane glared. “He’s not even on the team. He’s an equipment guy.”

  “Your point would be?”

  Turned out everyone from row one to eighteen had an opinion about the thirst level of Dane’s ex-girl and was more than willing to share. I looked at the scowl on Dane’s face and felt more than a little grateful to him—not just because he threw himself under the bus, but why he did it. It was good to know his words weren’t just lip service. He had my back. Between him and Ivanovich and McAdams—and anyone else who’d figured me out—I had some staunch support.

  And I had a feeling I was going to need it.

  CHAPTER 10

  Kelly

  THE GREAT thing about a late-night airport pickup was that some of the usual congestion had died down a bit. I told Blue to meet me at the curb in departures, which cut the traffic even more. By the time I pulled up, there were only a few cars idling here and there. I only saw one cop car, and it looked to be empty.

  I kissed the curb with his SUV, was sandwiched in by a taxi and a van, and settled in to wait. Every now and again, I checked my rearview for cops and airport security. I could only hope they didn’t make me move on, because I didn’t have enough gas to make circles around the airport.

  My earlier nap had made me a half hour later than I anticipated, and I woke up with a choice to make. I only had enough time to either take a shower and get prettified for Blue or pick up a latte. A lot of boyfriends would dress up and make sure their hair was perfect when they went to pick up their man after a lengthy absence.

  I sipped my latte. Starbucks won that coin toss every time. I’d dressed hurriedly in some cargo shorts with a hole in the pocket and a T-shirt so old and faded that I couldn’t read the logo anymore.

  Blue, on the other hand, looked particularly fuckable as I spotted him in the rearview emerging from the airport. The franchise always preferred their players to wear a suit and tie to away games, and Blue did suits extremely well. He only bothered to keep a few, but they were all tailored top-quality goodness.

  I got out of the car and waited a few feet from the idling SUV. He was a little rumpled, and even from a distance, he looked disgruntled. I guess that was to be expected, considering their earlier loss, not to mention there were always a few reporters waiting for the players at the airport… and spectators who’d never met an opinion they didn’t want to share.

  He didn’t see me at first. He was too busy talking to another big guy in a navy blue suit as they headed down the sidewalk. Whatever they were talking about, it was giving Blue constipation face. As they got closer, I waved, hoping he’d finally see me before we got towed.

  When he finally looked my way, the smile that came over his face made my heart stutter a little bit. I was almost tempted to look behind me. Surely I’d never done anything to make another human being look at me that way, like maybe I hadn’t created the moon or anything but I certainly had a hand in hanging it in the sky. It was almost the way our dog looked at me when I decided she should taste the culinary creation she was named after and gave her a couple bites of fresh Belgian waffle. I taught her about fluffy, sugary goodness, and later, she taught me about diarrhea and why dogs shouldn’t have confectioner’s sugar.

  As he drew closer, I had no choice but to smile back. My mouth really wouldn’t have it any other way. Just when I thought I couldn’t love him any more than I already did, he smiled at me a certain way or said something sweet, and that capacity expanded anew. The time he left me the last Pop-Tart? Love took a sharp turn toward devotion.

  He didn’t kiss me when he approached. Instead he showed his love with a fond shoulder bump. At least that’s how I interpreted it. We stood and grinned at one another like fools for a few seconds.

  “Fancy meeting you here,” I said.

  “Of all the airports in all the world,” he agreed.

  I almost forgot about the guy who stood slightly behind Blue, currently looking at us both as though we were a particularly interesting experiment that defied every hypothesis. He was as big as he was handsome, like most of Blue’s friends, and a sudden smile creased his face. “You guys are adorable.”

  “Adorable?” My eyebrows shot to my hairline.

  “It’s okay.” Blue smiled. “He knows.”

  Turned out my eyebrows weren’t coming down anytime soon. “So we’re telling people now? Aren’t you the same person who was scared to go to dinner at my parents’ house?”

  “It’s not like I planned to tell him. He kind of guessed.”

  “And you confirmed it.”

  “Well, what would you have me do?”

  “I just think both of us should agree—” I trailed off when I realized his teammate was still staring at us, fascinated, as though he’d just caught us doing the electric slide in our underwear… which I’ve never done. I swear.

  He smiled guilelessly. “Oh no. Don’t mind me. It’s just weird seeing Blue with someone like this. I’ve seen him on dates at events and stuf
f like that. But this?” He shook his head. “This is real couple stuff, you know? It’s kind of weird.” I didn’t know what kind of expression crossed on my face, but it made him hurriedly add, “Good weird, though.”

  “It’s Dane, right?” I tried to put a name to a face I should probably know. “Haven’t I seen you on my couch at some point?”

  “Yes, Kelly, this is Dane,” Blue said with a roll of his eyes. “Someone you’ve met at least three times.”

  “Well, how should I know? All you guys look alike.” My words played back in my mind, and I froze. My face got redder and redder as the silence stretched on. Jesus. “Not like that. You guys as in football guys. Big and muscular and built.”

  That ran back through my mind, and I stuttered again. “Not that I’m perving on you, because I wouldn’t. I mean, you’re certainly good-looking enough to perv over. I just wouldn’t. Tell him, Blue.”

  I turned to find Blue’s face pink and flushed with barely contained laughter. I turned pleading eyes to Dane. Put me out of my misery, why don’t you? “You both know what I meant.”

  Dane threw back his head and laughed so hard I thought he might hurt himself. “Oh wow. Good luck with your handful, Blue. He kind of needs a filter.”

  “More than a Brita,” Blue agreed. He took the key fob from my hand and hit the Liftgate button.

  I glared at his back as he stored his Nike duffel in the cargo area. I hoped he planned to take that smelly thing straight to the incinerator, because it wasn’t coming in my front door. He was lucky I didn’t paint a skull and crossbones on the thing. Whatever they tipped the equipment managers at Christmas, it wasn’t nearly enough.

  “I really don’t know which of you I dislike more,” I informed them.

  “You secretly love me,” Dane said with a wink.

  A horn sounded farther on down the row of cars, and Dane waved in that direction. Guess Blue and I weren’t the only ones who did pickups in departures. Dane turned back to me and slapped me on the back—hard. I was lucky my glasses didn’t fall off. As it was, they slipped down the slope of my nose a little.

  “I gotta run,” he said. “Guess I’ll see you next Saturday?”

  I used my forefinger to inch my glasses back in place. “For what?”

  He looked at Blue. “You didn’t ask him?”

  “I forgot.” Blue shrugged out of his suit jacket and tossed it in the back with his bag. He worked on his tie one-handed. “Ask him now.”

  “It’s not a lot of notice,” Dane fussed.

  “It won’t hurt to just ask.”

  “Ask me what?” I interjected loudly.

  “I was going over my schedule with Penny, and she mentioned that the camp wanted me to come down next weekend,” Blue said. “I thought it was a good idea.”

  A simple visit to Blue’s old school five years ago had triggered the camp’s creation. A firm believer in the benefits of sports and physical activity for kids, he was dismayed to see the state of their athletic department. They barely had any functioning equipment, and their sports program struggled with cutbacks, which, to be perfectly honest, was the story in many schools. He donated funds and used his endorsement deal with Nike to get a lot of free equipment, but that experience started to make him think. Penny suggested he stop thinking and do something about it, and Camp Bluegrass was born.

  It was a nonprofit woodsy retreat replete with hiking trails, football fields, a of couple lakes—everything an outdoors type would love. The kids enjoyed nature and played team-building games and did arts and crafts and all that other camp shit kids loved. Blue and some of the other players tossed the ball around and talked to the kids every summer, and I wasn’t sure who loved it more—the kids or the guys.

  “Does Ari know?” I said. His agent usually monopolized every second of Blue’s free time and didn’t want him doing anything that didn’t involve making money. “I thought he had a commercial lined up for you.”

  “I don’t know what Ari does and does not know,” he said evasively. “But Dane thought it would be nice if you came with us, and I thought it was a great idea.”

  “To football camp?” I raised an eyebrow skeptically. “I’m pretty sure I filled my quota of people laughing at me for my lack of athletic prowess in P.E.”

  Dane let out a rich laugh that would’ve been kind of nice if it hadn’t been at my expense. “I think we’ve got the football part covered. But it might be nice for the kids to talk to a real….” He searched for the right word.

  I narrowed my eyes as the search got kind of long. “A real what?”

  “Egghead,” he finally said with a pleased smile. Clearly in his world, egghead was a compliment.

  “Thanks ever so much,” I said dryly. Blue didn’t even have the decency to cover up his guffaw as he closed the tailgate of the SUV. “I think I’ll put that on my résumé. A bachelor’s degree, my master’s, my doctorate, six years of teaching university physics, and a medal of honor for being a lifetime egghead. Serve me over easy with chives and a good hollandaise.”

  “Now it’s my turn to put my foot in it, I guess. You know what I mean.” His dark eyes crinkled with amusement. “They should talk to someone whose main focus is education and learning. Someone like you, who can show them that learning can be cool.”

  He immediately catapulted back onto my good list for calling me cool. “Of course I’ll come.” I shrugged. “I don’t know how excited they’ll be to hear from me, but I’ll give it a go.”

  “They’ll listen,” he said determinedly. “The probability of going pro is pretty slim. Less than two percent of college football players make it to the big leagues. Helping them at this camp means more than just gassing them up about a future in the NFL.”

  “I’ll be there,” I said. “Happy to do it.”

  “Okay.” He held out his hand, and I looked at his outstretched fist with hesitation. He had hands the size of a Kodiak bear. I hesitantly touched my fist to his, and he grinned. “Not bad. You’ll get better with practice.”

  My tone was dry enough to make a good crouton. “I live for the day.”

  “So I’ll see you guys around eight?”

  “In the morning?”

  He ignored my outraged squawk and strode off. I watched as he stopped by a white Lincoln SUV. He kissed the cheek of an older woman with a smart gray-and-white bob and got in the back.

  I looked back at Blue. “Did he really just get picked up by his mom?”

  “Don’t mess with Mrs. W.,” Blue said with a grin. “She makes some mean white-chocolate macadamia cookies, and she always shares.”

  This was the first I was hearing of such a thing. “Maybe we should see if she has some now, or at least put in an order or something.”

  Blue laughed as he got in the driver’s seat. “Yeah, I don’t think so. This has been great and all, but I want to get home. There’s something I need to do.”

  Before I even opened the passenger door, he had his seat belt on and the SUV in gear. “You in some kind of hurry?” I teased. “I thought we might chat with Dane a little while longer, maybe even invite him over for a barbecue.”

  “Kelly,” he growled. “In case I wasn’t clear, you’re the thing I need to do. Get in the car.”

  “You’re like a modern-day Humphrey Bogart,” I said with a dramatic sigh. But because I also had some things I wanted to do when we got home, I got in the car. “I’ll agree to all your disgusting demands, but we’re stopping for ice cream on the way home.”

  “Mint chocolate chip,” he said agreeably. “Your favorite.”

  “That it is.” I raised an eyebrow. “I’m taking Waffles out when we get home, and you’d better not fall asleep with your hand on your dick. You know, like last time?”

  “You don’t have to take her out. I’ll take care of it.”

  I arched an eyebrow at him. “I already said you’re getting laid.”

  He laughed. “I would say don’t be an ass, but I think we can both agree that’s pr
etty much your default mode.”

  “Why, I oughta….”

  “You’ve been taking care of her while I was away. It is my turn. That’s what people do when they live together. They take on half the load. It could be like this all the time.” He sent me a sideways look that was rife with meaning. At my narrowed eyes, he shrugged. “Just sayin’.”

  And I’m just sayin’ you know the way to my weird little heart. Good sex, ice cream, and volunteering to pick up after the dog.

  I briefly put my hand over his where it rested lightly on the gearshift. “I’m glad you’re back.”

  “So you don’t have to walk the dog? That’s really taking lazy to new heights.” His amused expression told me he knew exactly what I meant.

  “I missed you,” I said, just to be perfectly clear.

  “I know that.”

  “I love you.”

  His mouth lifted a little, and he turned the hand resting on the gearshift palm-side up. I put my hand in his, and he gripped it tightly. “I know that too.”

  CHAPTER 11

  Kelly

  I EXCHANGED a Saturday of sleeping in for volunteering at Camp Bluegrass, and I was mostly satisfied with the trade… mostly. I still didn’t understand why camp had to start at the ass crack of dawn, but that, like most other important things in this world, wasn’t up to me. The kids responded well to my speech, even though the Q and A session afterward was mostly questions about my piercings and two eager offers to color in my tattoo with Magic Marker.

  I set up an activity for them to create their own kaleidoscopes out of Pringles cans—and never you mind where I got all those cans. It wasn’t the most physics-based activity in the world, but it was something I thought they’d enjoy without making it seem like school. And they got to keep a cool homemade science toy.

  Even when we finished, they weren’t eager to go outside, and several of them whined and asked me to show them something else. I started to rack my brain for an impromptu activity that a bunch of kids would enjoy that was educational, easy, and safe. But then Blue and some of the other football players arrived, fresh from practice. I turned from a prime cut of rib eye to chopped liver in the blink of an eye, and the kids dashed outside to greet the guys.