The Columbia Anthology of Yuan Drama
Page 40
Might as well go all the way, all my powers unfurl.
Let him curse me all he wants.
I don’t mean to boast,
But in my tender arms he is toast! (Speaks:)
Auntie, rest assured.
MOTHER: Big Sister, be careful when you get there. (Crying) Oh, my child! I’m worried to death over you.
PAN’ER (sings:)
[Coda: Coming from the Waves]
Feel no more pain in your heart,
And set all sorrows apart.78
I’ll be back for the pact, with leaves and flowers intact.
Like a donkey or a dog alert,
That rogue is wild when he smells a skirt.
He’ll turn on all his charms and wiles trying to flirt. (Speaks:)
After I get there, I will check him out quickly with a word or two. If he is willing to sign a divorce paper, well and good. If he balks at signing, I’ll give him a dig and a tweak, a hug and a kiss. That will make the rogue soft and weak all over. It’ll be like smearing a dab of brown sugar right under his nose—try as he might, he’ll not be able to lick it off or eat it. I will trick him into signing the divorce paper. Yinzhang gets the paper and bolts, while I simply slip out his door. (Sings:)
Won’t it be sweet to end the romance,
When the scoundrel to my tune shall dance? (Exits.)
ACT 3
ZHOU (enters with INNKEEPER:) “Everything in this world would go its way; we fuss to no purpose the livelong day.”79 Innkeeper, I hired you to run this inn not because I need the income to keep things going. Just be sure to let me know when any nice dames of pleasure come to spend the night.80
INNKEEPER: I understand. But where in a crunch should I look for you?81
ZHOU: Look for me in the cathouse.
INNKEEPER: If you are not at the cathouse?
ZHOU: Then look for me in the gambling house.
INNKEEPER: If you are not at the gambling house?
ZHOU: Then look for me in the jailhouse. (Exits.)
(CLOWN dressed as IDLE BOY enters,82 carrying luggage.)
IDLE BOY: “Hobnail boots and umbrella my stock in trade, I earn my living by having amorous missives relayed.”83 I am known as Idle Boy.84 I’m not good at any trade; my only job is to serve as go-between for the singsong ladies. When they have messages for customers or things to deliver here and there, they always call on me. Take Sister Zhao Pan’er here—she has asked me to pack two trunks of clothing and things to go to Zhengzhou with her. Now everything is packed, ready to go. Would Big Sister please mount the horse?
PAN’ER: Idle Boy, take a look at me all dolled up. Do you think I can turn the guy’s head?
(IDLE BOY feigns falling down.)
PAN’ER. What are you trying to do?
BOY: Never mind about that guy, right now you’re even turning me on.
PAN’ER (sings:)
[Zhenggong mode: Proper Decorum]
It’s all because the girl’s plunged in sorrow,
Sick at heart,
Having no way to go forth or depart.
Not considering the odds,
That wench acted on the impulse of the moment,
And so I am forced to do battle with this lustful opponent.
[Rolling Silken Ball]
Gently my breaths I will render
To convey a message tender.85
How could this ass not desert his stable to follow me,86
Be he the nonpareil man in the realm for all to see!
To think that she was so easily moved,
How her eagerness she proved!
More than once I have wanted to stay removed.
But first, I sympathize with her mother all helpless;
Second, used to being on the road, I pity the traveler reckless;
And third, as one fond of the cup, I feel sorry for the drinker zealous.
But when I get there, Oh!
My wit I will ply—I cannot afford to be careless. (Speaks:)
Here we are already arrived at Zhengzhou.87 Idle Boy, take care of the horse. Let us take a rest in the shade of the willow tree.
BOY: Yes ma’am.
PAN’ER: Idle Boy, let’s have some idle chat. You know, women from good families have good manners while those from houses of ill repute behave disreputably.
BOY: Tell me more, Big Sister.
PAN’ER (sings:)
[If a Scholar]
A titled lady is a titled lady for always,88
A singsong girl is a singsong girl despite forays.
Even if, wiggling your body, into his mansion you suddenly make your way,
How can you avoid even to his servants falling prey?
You’ll secretly bear the price you will have to pay.
[Rolling Silken Ball]
Proper ladies use the powder puff for effect even and light,
While we slather on the cheap stuff with all our might.
Proper ladies comb their hair slowly, piling it up in a chignon demure,
While we undo the strings of chest binder for our allure
As a deep mark in the chin we endure.89
Proper ladies know their place,
Judgment calls they face,
Such is their ladylike grace.
How are they in any way like us?
Just like monkeys locked in an empty room,
With a thousand affectations our bodies we groom.
On ten thousand topics we lie in good measure,
Unable to leave for good the life of pleasure.
BOY: Here we’ve come to an inn. Big Sister might as well stay here.
PAN’ER: Get me the innkeeper.
(INNKEEPER enters and greets her.)
PAN’ER: Innkeeper, would you make ready a nice, clean room so we can unpack our luggage. Then go invite Zhou She for me. Just say I have been waiting for him here a long time.
INNKEEPER: Yes ma’am. (He goes out and calls.) Where is the Young Master?
ZHOU SHE (enters:) What is it, innkeeper?
INNKEEPER: There’s a beautiful lady in my inn and she’s asking for your company.
ZHOU: I’ll go with you right away. (He comes to the inn and greets ZHAO PAN’ER.) Sure is a nice-looking dame.
PAN’ER: Zhou She, so you’ve come. (Sings:)
[Rolling Silken Ball]
That sister of mine has good judgment
And is blessed with amazing fortune.
She can boast of a husband handsomer than handsome,
And further, he has good looks with youth in tandem!
ZHOU: Haven’t I seen you before somewhere? I met you at an inn—you were playing on a horizontal lute. Didn’t I give you a length of tea-brown satin?
PAN’ER: Boy, did you know about that?
BOY. He was not the one who gave the tea-brown satin.
ZHOU: Ah, now I remember. Early on, when the party broke up in Hangzhou and I was rushing over to the party in Shaanxi, wasn’t it at a dinner in the inn that I treated Big Sister to a meal?
PAN’ER: Boy, did you see me at his dinner?
BOY: I never saw anything like that.
PAN’ER (sings:)
You’re too busy eyeing the new,
Too forgetful and befuddled—
Not to speak of how your dull eyes struggled.
In the lingering words of the storyteller,
“Once we knew each other by the Wuling Stream,90
Yet today a total stranger to you I seem.”
I have pined for you in my dreams, such longing to redeem!
ZHOU: Now I remember. Aren’t you Zhao Pan’er?
PAN’ER: That’s right.
ZHOU: You were the one who tried to get the ear of your auntie.91 Well, well, you’re the one who wanted to break up my marriage. Innkeeper, shut the door and give this little fellow a beating.
BOY: Don’t you hit me! My lady here has come with trunk loads of silk dresses and a whole trousseau, just so that she can marry you, and you turn around and be
at me?
PAN’ER: Zhou She, sit down and listen to me. When you were in the southern capital everybody was talking about Zhou She, and I heard so much about you. I didn’t have the chance to meet you then. Later, after I did see you, I couldn’t eat or drink. And then I heard you’re going to marry Song Yinzhang. I wanted to marry you, and instead you expected me to vouch for your wedding with another. (Sings:)
[If a Scholar]
At first I put on airs92 and pretended to oversee your marriage.
But aflame with jealousy, I tried your union to disparage.
For all your outward smartness, you’re a bumpkin inside.
But if today the knot is tied,
I’ll everything abide. (Speaks:)
Here I’ve come with all good intentions, bringing horse and cart and a dowry. Instead of appreciating this, you started cursing and beating us. Idle Boy, turn back the cart. Let us go home.
ZHOU: If I’d known you’d come to marry me, why would I dare to beat up your little brother?
PAN’ER: You really didn’t know? In that case, don’t go out this door but sit right down and keep me company.
ZHOU: Never mind a day or two, even if it were for a year or two, your darling will gladly sit away. (SONG YINZHANG enters.)
YINZHANG: Zhou She has not been home for two or three days. I’ve been looking all over for him till I came to this inn. Let me take a look. So it’s Zhao Pan’er sitting with the Young Master. You shameless old whore, coming all the way here to steal my husband! You, Zhou She, just you wait—when you get back, I’ll take a knife, you’ll take a knife, and we’ll have it out between us. (Exits.)
ZHOU (grabbing a stick:) Why should I rush things with you!93 If it weren’t for the lady here, I’d beat you to death.
PAN’ER (sings:)
[Taking Off the Plain Robe]
To not let him off easy is my game.
But why can’t I my clear intent proclaim?
It’s because I can endure it all in truth and in name.94
Can you bear to really give her a round of beating?95
[Little Liangzhou]
Isn’t it said one night of conjugal love begets a hundred of bond?
You’d better not with rage and indignation respond.
When in a mood for rough play, rough it out behind my back.
With me around you’d better try another track.
What fond lover will beat such a fine specimen to death?96
[Same tune as above]
Look at his ruthless face, and his hand is pressing a fearsome stick.
Even a husband most provoked should not be up to your trick. (Speaks:)
You carry such a big stick. What would happen if you should beat her to death?
ZHOU: There’s no law that says a husband who kills his wife must pay with his life.
PAN’ER. If you talk like that, who will dare marry you? (Aside, sings:)
I’ll make a show of being willing,
And with fakery filling,
I’ll fix it so that when all’s done, there’s nowhere he can run.
Oh, my sister!
See how I use seductive wiles to rescue a seduced sister! (Speaks:)
Zhou She, you have some fine tricks! You sat here with me but sent for your wife to come and revile me. Idle Boy, turn the cart around. We’re going home.
ZHOU: Dear Sister, please sit down. I swear I didn’t know she was coming. If I knew, may I be struck dead!
PAN’ER: You really didn’t bid her come? That wench Song Yinzhang is up to no good. Hit the ball quick—if you can give up Song Yinzhang, I’ll marry you without further ado.
ZHOU: As soon as I go home I’ll divorce her. (Aside:) Wait a minute. That woman has taken so much beating at my hand, if I’d give her a divorce paper she would be gone. Now suppose this woman here then refuses to marry me, wouldn’t I be losing at both ends? Better not take a chance but secure this dame first. (To PAN’ER:) Sister, excuse me for having such unworthy thoughts in my mind. Suppose I go home and divorce my wife, and then you, Sister, give me the brush-off97 and won’t marry me. Wouldn’t I be losing both ends of the bargain? Sister, you must give me your pledge.
PAN’ER: You really want me to swear? All right, if I don’t marry you after you’ve divorced your wife, may I be trampled to death by a horse inside the bath hall and may my legs be crushed by a lamp wick. Now you have forced me to swear this terrible oath!
ZHOU: Innkeeper, bring some wine.
PAN’ER: No need to buy wine, I have ten bottles in my cart.
ZHOU: We also want a lamb.
PAN’ER: No need to buy lamb. I have a cooked lamb right there in my cart.
ZHOU: All right, all right. Let me at least go buy red silk for our wedding bed.
PAN’ER: No need to buy red silk either. I have a pair of bright-red silk beddings in my trunk. Zhou She, what are you so excited about? From now on, what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours. (Sings:)
[Coda]98
What’s not to be in the end will not be.
What’s meant to be dear will dearness see.
For all my flowerlike body
And tender years, fresh as bamboo shoot—
Just so that a brilliant future would bear fruit,
I don’t mind a reverse payment of a hundred thousand to boot.99
I will brave the risk and test the odds100
And will leave the number of wives to the gods.
The countless hardships I suffer,
And all the insolence I endure
Won’t be for naught if you as husband I secure.
[Coda]101
When you are poor, I’ll gladly suffer with you privations and want;
When you are rich, don’t laugh at me if I set tongues wagging with my pomp and romp.
Just make up your mind:
Divorce the one in your house you find.102
Without costing you a penny,
You will get this one along with ingots many.
What I possess in worldly goods goes to your kin,
And all my fine horses and furs are yours to spin.
These I bring to you as dowry, our new life to begin. (Speaks:)
If I marry you, you’ll find me different from Song Yinzhang, who knows nothing about sewing and cooking, embroidering and tailoring, and keeping a nice and tidy home. (Sings:)
For the divorce paper you will have written, I will be the proper compensation given. (Exit together.)
ACT 4
SONG YINZHANG (enters:) It’s about time Zhou She came home.
(ZHOU SHE enters and greets SONG YINZHANG.)
YINZHANG: Young Master, what will you have for dinner?
ZHOU (angrily:) A fine thing! Get me brush and paper. Let me write a divorce paper for you. You can get out of here, quick.
YINZHANG (takes the paper but does not leave:) What did I do wrong that you should divorce me?
ZHOU: So you are still here. Get out, quick!
YINZHANG: You are really divorcing me! (Goes out the door.) Now I am out of this door!103 Zhou She, what a fool you are! Sister Zhao Pan’er, how clever you are! I’ll go with this divorce paper straight to the inn to look for my big sister. (Exits.)
ZHOU: I’ll go to the inn and take that woman as wife.104 (Exits.)
INNKEEPER: It’s been a while since Zhou She came here.
ZHOU SHE (enters:) Innkeeper, where is the woman who was here a while ago?
INNKEEPER: As soon as you left, she got on her horse and took off.
ZHOU: So she tricked me! Get me a horse. I’ll go after her.
INNKEEPER: The horse is giving birth to a foal.
ZHOU: Mount me a mule.
INNKEEPER: The mule is down with hoof disease.
ZHOU: Then I’ll go after her on foot.
INNKEEPER: I’ll go with you. (Exit together.)
(ZHAO PAN’ER enters with MOTHER SONG and SONG YINZHANG.)
YINZHANG: If it weren’t for Big Sister, how could I have
gotten out that door?
PAN’ER: Let’s go, let’s go! (Sings:)
[Shuangdiao mode: Song of New Water]
I smile to think how predictably he wrote up the divorce paper
Only to end up wondering where his fickle old friend had gone.
He was proud of his prowess with women and his devious tips,
But he succumbed to the endless words from my invincible lips.105 (Speaks:)
Yinzhang, if you are to marry again, I will give this divorce paper back to Zhou She. Bring the divorce paper—let me take a look. If you want to marry again, just ask me.106
ZHOU SHE (catches up with them:) Song Yinzhang, you are my wife!
YINZHANG: You gave me a divorce paper and you drove me out of your house.
ZHOU: A divorce paper needs to have five fingerprints. How can it be any good with only four fingerprints?
(SONG YINZHANG unrolls the paper to take a look. ZHOU SHE snatches it from her. She refuses to yield it, and he tears it to shreds with his teeth.)
YINZHANG: Big Sister, Zhou She is tearing up my divorce paper.
(ZHAO PAN’ER tries to save it.)
ZHOU: You are also my wife.
PAN’ER: How come I am your wife?
ZHOU: You drank my wine.
PAN’ER: I brought ten bottles of fine wine in my cart. How could it be yours?
ZHOU: You’ve accepted my lamb.
PAN’ER: I had my own cooked lamb. How could it be yours?
ZHOU: You took my red betrothal silk.
PAN’ER: I brought my own bright-red silk bedding. How could it be yours? (Sings:)
[Fake Cards]
Wine and lamb were things on my cart.
Crimson-red silk I brought from the start.
None but lust and greed fill your twisted mind—
You thought you could get it cheap, whatever you find.
ZHOU: You swore to high heaven you would marry me.
PAN’ER (sings:)
[Celebrating the Eastern Plain]
So I was selling lies,
But with false oaths the dead will rise.
My only fear is that you wouldn’t believe it.
Courting any girl in all these houses of pleasure,
Is there one who doesn’t vow that the whole family could die for a lie?
These vows are endlessly repeated for the gods on high,
But retribution is never nigh.
If all goes according to vows,
Then complete annihilation it allows! (Speaks:)