No One in the World

by E. Lynn Harris; RM Johnson

  Eric stood in the hallway outside Austen’s door. He told himself it was wrong what he was about to do, but he knocked softly, keeping his eyes on Cobi’s door.

  The door opened, and Austen stood there wearing a sheer nightgown. Through the thin material Eric could plainly see the dark circles on her breasts, her nipples, standing plump and erect, and he could see the neatly cropped triangle of hair pointing to the place he wanted to be.

  She stood in plain sight, not trying to hide behind the door or use her hands to cover herself. She confidently watched as Eric’s eyes surveyed her body.

  Pulling his gaze up from her beautifully manicured bare feet, he felt short of breath, knowing why he was there.

  “What do you want, Eric?” Austen asked, as if she already knew.

  “I don’t know,” Eric said, all of a sudden at a loss.

  “Yes, you do. Tell me.”

  “Can I touch you?” Eric’s eyes locked on Austen’s. He saw her swallow hard, saw her chest inflate with a huge breath.

  “Yes.”

  He reached out, softly touched her face with the tips of his fingers. Her skin was so soft. He stepped closer to her, raised her face by her chin, and stared wantonly at her full lips. They parted slightly, Austen biting down gently on the lower one.

  “Can I kiss you?” Eric asked.

  Austen nodded and slowly closed her eyes.

  He leaned in, pressed his mouth to hers, carefully at first, but when he felt her tongue slip between his lips, he kissed her deeper.

  She pressed her body into his, her hips grinding against his, as Eric pulled up Austen’s gown, grabbed her firm, round, bare ass, then pulled out of the kiss. He baby-kissed her on her cheeks, her lips, and her neck, till he felt her pulse there speeding and pounding.

  “Come into my room, before we get caught,” Austen said, breathless.

  They stumbled inside. It had been years since Eric touched a woman in a sexual way. Now, this beautiful thing was standing in front of him, fumbling with the buckle of his belt with one hand, rubbing him through his jeans with the other. She undid the button, unzipped his pants, and took him out, her hand tightly around him, stroking him. It felt so wonderful, he thought he would explode that moment.

  Lightheaded, he leaned away from her, took the bottom of her nightgown, and began to raise it.

  Austen lifted her hands up, let Eric pull the gown up and over her head. She stood before him naked, her breasts full and round, her belly flat, her hips wide and curved.

  It took every ounce of restraint for him to just stand there the few seconds he did without attacking her. Finally, he threw himself into her, his arm around her waist, lifting her off the floor, and kissing her deeply again. He carried her over to the king-size bed, lay her on the edge of it, threw her knees up, kneeled himself, then buried his face between her legs and lapped her juices.

  Austen whipped her head from side to side, bit down on the knuckle of her fist to keep herself quiet, while pressing Eric’s face further into her pussy.

  She tasted as sweet as Eric imagined, and he knew what he was doing. Her clit was fat, and very sensitive, and Eric held it between his lips, sucked it gently while applying constant pressure to it with the tip of his tongue.

  She moaned loudly, clawed at the back of his head, and then he felt her come.

  “I want you,” he heard Austen say.

  “I don’t have a condom.”

  “I do.”

  Austen was up off the bed, and back, pressing the tiny package in his hand.

  Eric quickly undressed, climbed on the bed, and kneeled between Austen’s thighs, wearing the condom. He lowered himself onto her and carefully inserted himself into her warm, wet crease. He slid all the way in and knew, just fucking knew, he would not last.

  Austen began to whisper in his ear, “Fuck me, fuck me, baby, fuck me.”

  It was too much, and it felt too good.

  She grabbed him, softly urging him deeper. He had never felt so hard, and sex had never felt so good. He tried pulling out. He was on the verge of losing himself. But she pulled him in further, clamped down around him, and slipped her wet tongue into his ear. He shut his eyes, grabbed hold tightly, and exploded.

  77

  Blac snuck quietly into Theresa’s dark house and closed the front door. He started toward the bedroom, when the light suddenly snapped on.

  Startled, Blac saw Theresa standing before him with her hand on the switch. She wore a nightgown and a scarf around her hair.

  “Where you been?”

  “Working.”

  “Working, doing what?”

  Blac didn’t want to lie to her, but she didn’t have to know every move he made. “There are some really important things I gotta take care of, okay?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like whatever I say, okay? I say I’m working, all you gotta know is I’m doing that. Understand?”

  Theresa stared right back at him but didn’t respond.

  “Do you understand?” Black said again.

  “The talk we had the other night, that didn’t mean nothing to you?”

  Blac looked at Theresa as though she had only the sense of a child. “I ain’t got time for this. I’m going to bed.”

  78

  After work, Eric drove south down Lake Shore Drive toward Blac’s house.

  Going to a job, he felt like he’d never felt before—confident, responsible, and good about himself. Eric also knew that having that job would help him look better in the eyes of the judge who would decide whether or not he would keep his rights to see his little girl, and that made him feel even better.

  But there was something pressing on his mind—last night. And that’s why he needed to talk to Blac.

  Neither of them had eaten, so after Eric picked him up, he treated them to some sliders at White Castle on Thirty-fifth Street. The two men walked leisurely down King Drive, pulling small burgers from a paper sack as they talked.

  “I gotta kick Theresa to the curb,” Blac said. “I know we been together for years, and I’m livin’ in her crib, driving her car, and all that shit, but if she think she gonna be crackin’ the whip—”

  “You love her?”

  “What?” Blac asked, as though that possibility never crossed his mind.

  “I said, do you love her?”

  “Well . . . she cool, but . . .” Blac slid one of the burgers out of its cardboard box and took a bite, gesturing with it. “I mean, sometimes she can be all right. I guess you might could say I love her sometimes.”

  “She met you when you got out of prison, right?”

  “Yeah, so?”

  “She be setting out that ass, too, don’t she?”

  “Yeah, Theresa don’t have no problem putting out,” Blac said, wiping mustard from the corner of his mouth.

  “And what she asking for in return?”

  “Dude, last night she was askin’ me where I been, and she talkin’ about one day she wanna get married, and I should be doing more around the house and—”

  At a red light intersection, Eric stopped walking. “So you sayin’, because you don’t wanna tell her where you going, you gonna kick your girl to the curb?”

  Blac tried to reach for another burger, but Eric snatched the bag back and crumpled the top together in his fists. “Answer the question first, Blac.”

  “Why you all concerned about my relationship all of a sudden?”

  “You brought it up.”

  “Naw, but you really all off into this. There’s somethin’ goin’ on with you,” Blac said, leaning closer to get a good look into Eric’s eyes. “We been about this close, twenty-four-seven for the last two years. I know when something’s up. What is it?”

  Eric surrendered the bag to Blac. He spotted a bench to sit on. “Let’s go over there.”

  They sat with their butts on the backrest, their feet on the bench. Eric told Blac what Austen told him about Cobi’s arrangement. How he was going to pay her to marr
y him so Cobi could get his trust fund.

  “Trust fund, huh?” Blac said. “How much is it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Okay, he got this woman livin’ at the house, he gonna marry her to get his trust fund,” Blac said. “What’s the problem?”

  “The woman’s the problem. Like I told you, she’s fine as hell, and somehow—”

  “You fucked her.”

  “Yeah, I fucked her. And I feel guilty as shit, but—”

  “But what?” Blac said, a smirk on his face.

  “I loved Jess, and I always felt she was sitting out here waiting on me. I never thought about being with another woman. Turns out, she with some dude. I’m by myself, and now this woman is here, and—”

  “You slept with her one night. Don’t go telling me you falling all in love.”

  “I ain’t in love. It feels good to be with her, and I kinda like this girl, is all. But this is the woman my brother is supposed to be marrying, and while he trying to help me with Maya, giving me a place to live, a job, I’m fucking his fiancée.”

  “Your brother’s gay. Trust me, he don’t care.”

  “How in the hell would you know he don’t care?”

  Blac hesitated a moment, then said, “It ain’t rocket science. Punks don’t like women, all right?”

  “I haven’t known the dude long, but I’ve known him long enough to know how he would see it if he found out. It’s the fucking principle. I gotta break this off now, before something really gets started.”

  79

  Austen and Julia had spent the last half hour browsing through Neiman Marcus. The two stood near the fitting rooms with a short rack of dresses they’d selected for the affair Austen was attending tonight with Cobi.

  Austen stood in the three-way mirror, holding a sequined dress up under her chin.

  “What do you think?” Austen said.

  “Too nineteen-twenties. Tie a couple of bananas to it, and you’ll look just like Josephine Baker.”

  “Whatever,” Austen said, passing the dress back to Julia. “Give me that one. The black one with the silver.”

  Julia picked through the last few dresses Austen hadn’t tried on and held out the black one. She took a quick glance at the price tag and said, “Uh, you probably don’t want it.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it cost a little less than the Honda you bought the other day.”

  Austen smiled and took the dress from Julia. “In that case, I’m trying it on.”

  Julia followed Austen and stood just outside the fitting room door. She could see Austen’s feet and the top of her hair.

  “So the other day you were all about trying to spend as little of Cobi’s money as possible,” Julia said, on her tiptoes, trying to get a look at the dress. “And now you’re trying to buy the most expensive piece in here. What happened?”

  After a little rustling from inside the fitting room, Julia saw Austen holding up a black AMEX card over the door.

  “Okay, yeah, so what? You knew the man had money.”

  Austen stepped out wearing the perfectly fitted black silk dress with one bare shoulder.

  Standing on her toes to simulate heels, Austen spun in a circle and did a short modeling run for Julia.

  “Girl, that dress is hot!”

  “Thank you, darling,” Austen said, batting her eyes. “That means I’m getting it.”

  After buying the dress, Austen and Julia walked into the women’s restroom. “I’m still waiting for you to tell me why the change all of a sudden,” Julia said.

  Austen placed her bag on the diaper changing station, then walked by all the stalls, softly pushing each door open, checking to make sure they were empty.

  Julia watched Austen suspiciously. “Please tell me exactly what you’re doing?”

  “I told you, we’ve been followed before,” Austen said, relaxing a little after making sure they were alone. She walked over to the door, locked it, then came back to Julia, who was leaning on the edge of a sink.

  “I found a new reason to stay.”

  “Exactly what do you mean by that?”

  Not telling Julia about Eric being an ex-con, because she knew how judgmental her friend was, she said, “I accidently slipped and fell on top of Eric’s dick last night.”

  “What?” Julia said, shocked.

  “It was my bad, but we made the best of it.”

  “Geez,” Julia said, pacing away from Austen. “All the shit that’s at stake for you and you’re risking it for sex. Can you stop playing for a minute? This is serious shit.”

  “Oh, you wanna stop playing?” Austen said, instantly stone-faced. “Fine. Let me stop fucking playing and lay it all out here. These people have just bought me like a piece of property. It feels like that bitch Sissy knows exactly where I am every minute of the day and to whom I’m speaking. They tell me what to do, how to do it, and when, and I’m not even married to Cobi yet. I needed something that was mine. I needed a choice, and I needed to be the one to make the decision. And the decision I made was not to be put up like some perfect little doll in a glass case. If Cobi were straight, and he was fucking me, then I wouldn’t screw Eric. But he’s not, so I am. That’s all there is to it.”

  “So when does it stop?” Julia asked.

  “It just started. Last night was the first—”

  “I said, when does it stop?”

  “I don’t know. If I have any say, I don’t think I’ll be quick to end it anytime soon.”

  “You know you’re playing with fire,” Julia said, giving Austen a long stare. “And when you do that, shit gets burned the fuck up.”

  80

  To say that I felt like everyone’s eyes were on me and Austen the moment we climbed out of the limo was an understatement.

  I felt handsome in my simple black tuxedo and tie, but Austen was downright dazzling. Her hair was pinned up, her makeup was flawless, her lips were a sparkling red, and that black dress was something that could’ve been worn by Halle Berry or Kerry Washington on the red carpet Oscar night.

  The event was held at the Field Museum on the lakefront.

  Beneath the high ceilings, ice sculptures, balloons, and champagne fountains, we stood among the busts of Roman emperors and ancient columns.

  A full band of musicians dressed in matching tuxedos, complete with horns and stringed instruments, played beautiful, uptempo, big-band jazz.

  Austen and I spent most of our time walking arm in arm among the hundreds of other well-dressed, well-paid professionals.

  I had bumped into more old friends, associates, and former coworkers than I had expected. Upon seeing Austen on my arm, they all smiled brightly, hugged me, or shook my hand and asked who the gorgeous woman was.

  After about half an hour of that, I leaned in to Austen and asked rather loudly, in order to be heard over the band music, “You doing okay?”

  She smiled and said, “I’m having a fantastic time.”

  As I continued to walk about the museum, smiling, laughing, talking, and drinking with Austen and my friends, I experienced something I never had before. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it felt like a strong sense of pride for simply being seen with this beautiful woman. As if simply having Austen by my side made me a better, more confident man.

  When I introduced her to other men as my fiancée, they seemed to look at me in a different light. Before some of the men walked away, they would nudge me with an elbow, and whisper from the sides of their mouths, “Fine-looking woman,” or “Dude, she’s a ten,” or “You’re a lucky man, Winslow.”

  I wondered if this feeling of manliness had been something my father experienced when out at some function with my mother. And as I stood gazing at Austen, I wondered if this feeling, this moment, was what my father so desperately had wanted me to experience.

  He had to have known that forcing me to marry a woman would never change me from gay to straight, but I was beginning to wonder if that had even been his int
ention. Could he just have wanted me to see what I had been missing all my life?

  “What?” Austen said, noticing the trance I had fallen into. She was truly beautiful. Gay man or not, I was not so blind I couldn’t see that.

  “You are beautiful,” I told her.

  She looked surprised, blushed a little, then leaned in and gave me a peck on the cheek. “And you are one of the most handsome men I have ever met.”

  I instantly inflated with pride, grabbed her hand, and was about to lead Austen toward a couple of friends, when someone grabbed me by the arm. I turned and was shocked to be looking directly into Tyler’s smiling face.

  “You’ve been gallivanting around here all evening and can’t even stop to say hello to your old friend,” Tyler said. Kennedi was standing at his side, looking beautiful as always.

  “And who is the mesmerizing woman standing beside you, Cobi, you old dog?” Tyler said.

  “Tyler, Kennedi,” I said proudly, “please allow me to present Austen Melrose Greer, my fiancée.”

  Kennedi cupped a hand over her mouth, then said, “Oh, no. Where have you been keeping this beautiful woman locked up?”

  “He has a special cave under the basement, where I do all the dishes and laundry,” Austen said, stepping around me and Tyler to give Kennedi a hug. Tyler gave me an approving nod. Kennedi whispered something to Austen, then rested a hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “I’ll be back. I’m going to the ladies’ room.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Austen said. “Give these guys some time to talk.”

  Austen grabbed my hand, squeezed it before leaving, as if we were a real couple. When the two ladies left, I felt strangely alone, even though I was standing right beside Tyler, the place I had wanted to be for so long.

  Tyler looked left and right at all the people in the museum, then took one step closer to me. “She’s wonderful, Cobi. Sissy did a great job.”

  “Well, you know Sissy,” I said, not looking at Tyler. I ran a finger around the rim of my wineglass instead.

  “You’re doing the right thing, you know. I’ve been watching you. I’ve seen the reception you’ve been getting from everyone, and I know you have to have noticed yourself. Do you see the difference that a woman can make?”