by C. A. Harms
Now here I was, lying in her tiny bed next to her. Our naked bodies smashed together, as I watched her sleep, curled into my chest.
I’ll admit that I had developed a plan the moment reality set in that I was going to be a father. After my initial freak out I knew what I had to do, what I wanted to do.
First step in my plan was to get the girl, and I got her. I sure as shit wasn’t letting go.
My next goal was to make sure she never wanted me to let me go.
Over the last couple weeks I was able to see the true beauty in Natalie. Not just what was on the outside, but that love and even the sadness she held inside. It only made me want to keep her closer and ensure nothing ever made her feel those fears again.
Listening to her breathe gave me a sense of calm. A feeling that was settling and welcomed. For the first time in a long time I felt like things could be good for me again.
Things could be great.
It was barely after midnight when I heard a phone ringing from the next room. I knew by the ringtone it had to be Natalie’s and she began to stir next to me.
Her eyes fluttered open, immediately connecting with mine. “That’s my phone,” she whispered hoarsely. “What time is it?”
“A little after midnight.” I replied.
She sat up and quickly moved from the bed, not giving me even the smallest possibility to stop her. My body instantly missed hers pressed against me.
After a few minutes she returned holding the phone to her ear. She crawled beneath the covers, as I pulled her closer to my chest and she moved to me willingly.
“Hey dad,” she said in a worried tone, “is everything okay?”
She sat silently listening to his response.
“Oh no, where is she?” Another pause. “Should I come home?”
My heart raced and my stomach tightened.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
I could see her eyes glistening with unshed tears and I hated the way it made me feel. I immediately wanted to fix whatever it was that had her worried.
“If you change your mind please call me. I’ll come home, okay?” She was now sitting up, with her head hung.
There was another pause as I assumed her father spoke in response to her words.
“I love you too, Dad. Tell Grandma I love her.”
I never spoke as Natalie hung up her phone and held it in her hands, staring down at it.
After a few deep breaths she looked at me.
“My grandma fell down the basement steps and broke her leg and hip. She’s in the hospital.” She took another deep breath, “I feel like I should go home or something.”
“Baby, if you want to go I’ll take you. We’ll leave now. If not now then we’ll go tomorrow, that’s your choice.”
She stared up at me silently, her gaze roaming over my face. The blank questioning look on her face troubled.
“Adam,” she finally said. “What changed? With you, I mean. What’s different?” I was taken back by her words and honestly had no idea how I should respond.
“You don’t want a girlfriend or a relationship, you made that clear so many times. And now suddenly you start saying things about wanting me and our baby. You say you want this to work with us, but what if a month from now you decide you’re bored?”
She had a right to feel those things.
After all I had lived a free life of no dedication or commitment for years.
I brushed the hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear as I fought against the lump deep in my chest. I silently debated over and over on how to explain what I was feeling.
Natalie gave me hope.
It wasn’t that I never wanted a family, because I did, or I used too. I wanted to be happy.
I wanted that one person I could always count on no matter what. I just honestly felt like that one person didn’t exist for me.
I knew it was time to let Natalie in. It was time for her to know the real Adam, not the asshole I had become.
I propped my head up on my elbow and laced my fingers with hers. I just needed to feel her in some way, skin to skin.
“Nothing changed, Natalie. I just gave up on hiding behind the person I let myself become. I wasn’t always an arrogant asshole.” I took in a deep breath. “All through high school I dated a girl named Breann. We shared a lot of firsts, and I thought that she was it for me. We talked about a future together. Hell we even picked out names for our future children and where we’d live.” It all seemed so long ago now.
“I enlisted in the Marines right out of high school. After all my training, I was assigned to a base in California for two years which, I’ll admit, made things for us harder. Breann would visit and write while I was there, but it put a strain on our relationship. We talked when we could and every chance I got to go home, I did.”
I traced my thumb across the palm of her hand as I continued without looking her in the eyes. “I was eventually deployed for eleven months, and when I returned, I went straight to her house.” It all made me feel like an idiot now. How could I have not known what was going on? The signs were there, I knew that now, but then I was blind.
“Fuck, I was so excited about seeing her and I wanted to surprise her. I didn’t even call anyone to tell them I was coming home, I just showed up.” Natalie remained silent as I continued to reveal my past heartbreak and the events that turned me in to the cold asshole I’d become.
“Breann was living in a little apartment above her grandma’s house.” I lightly laughed to brush away the hurt I still felt from being betrayed by the two people I never thought would hurt me. “My best friend since I was three years old opened Breann’s door with nothing but a towel around his waist.”
I heard Natalie take in a deep breath.
“Yeah, it was a shock. What made it worse was seeing my girlfriend walk out of her bathroom freshly showered with a matching towel. Because apparently they’d been fucking each other the entire time I was deployed.” I looked over into Natalie’s eyes and saw what I hated to see. Pity.
“They shattered me that day and I just walked away, which was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. But I couldn’t let either of them damage my military career. They both tried to make excuses, but it didn’t matter, what was done, was done. But it did change me.” I took a deep breath, suddenly feeling shameful of the man I allowed the two of them to let me become. “I stopped trying to be happy and just forced myself not to feel. I guess I thought it was easier to stay detached.”
Natalie traced my jawline with the tip of her finger, gaining my attention. “I’m sorry they hurt you, but you deserve happiness, Adam.”
“I know, and I think I have a chance of that with you.” I confessed, suddenly feeling so vulnerable but not doing what I normally would have done and instead just allowed myself to feel. “Baby, you make me want to try. You make me want to feel everything, Nat. I want to make this work with you because being around you feels right, it feels good.”
I kissed her, because I needed that connection.
“What changed?” I repeated her earlier question. “Everything changed because I wanna be the man you and our baby deserve. Because protecting and caring for the two of you have suddenly become the most important things to me.”
Natalie crawled over my body, straddled my hips, and I allowed her to take control.
She leaned forward and brushed her lips across mine, whispering her confession. “You scare me, Adam.”
“How?” I asked.
“What you’re making me feel for you terrifies me.” My chest tightened in reaction to her fears.
I gripped her hips and closed the distance between us, kissing her sweetly. “Just let me in, Nat, please,” I told her. “I promise you I won’t hurt you. Just let me take care of you.”
There was a pause as if she was trying to decide her next move and I’ll admit for a moment I myself was terrified of what she would choose.
But suddenly she nodded, before she brou
ght her lips to mine once more, her body relaxing into mine as she rocked her hips slightly. I couldn’t control the groan that erupted from my chest. This girl had my insides all twisted up for so many different reasons and I wanted to claim her all over again.
I rolled over, taking her with me and had to catch her at the edge of the bed. “Fuck,” I said in irritation. “Natalie, you need a bigger bed, baby.” She giggled.
“I mean it,” I assured her.
“I know,” she whispered looking up at me. “I need a lot of things, but right now all I need is you.”
I trailed kisses along her jaw and down her neck as her back arched up, bringing her closer to me.
“Ahh,” she moaned.
That sound fed my need for her.
Natalie wrapped her legs around my hips and pulled me against her body tighter as she moved against me. I could feel myself growing hard against her stomach and I used that to my advantage, pushing forward giving her what I could tell she was in search of.
“Please…” Natalie begged. I found out quickly I loved to hear Natalie beg for me.
“What, baby? What do you need?” I asked.
“You,” she panted, “I need you.”
I took her nipple into my mouth sucking softly and she whimpered.
I smiled, knowing she was hanging on the edge. “You have me.”
“Inside of me.” Another panted whisper. “Please, Adam.”
I gripped my hardness, running myself over her slowly. Her hips came forward at the same time and I slowly sunk into her warmth. “Yes,” she purred. “Oh God yes.”
Knowing that it was me making this beautiful girl feel good was enough to make me wanna do it over and over. She drew her lower lip between her teeth and moaned loudly.
That one deep moan that fell from her lips had to be the sexiest damn moan I had ever heard in my life.
I ran my hand up her outer thigh and gripped her hip, pulling her tightly toward me as I began rotating my hips. Natalie’s eyes rolled back and I continued to drive into her, giving her what she wanted.
I could feel her tightening around me and her hips driving forward, meeting my every thrust.
Her breathing became labored and I knew instantly that she was moments away from going over the edge. She pumped her hips faster as her nails dug into my shoulders.
“Fuck!” I yelled out as she exploded around me. “God damn, baby.” I could no longer hold back as I released myself, resting my forehead against the pillow behind her head.
Our breathing was labored, our bodies were moistened from the sweat that covered us, and she lay still, trembling beneath me. We took the time to calm our racing hearts before we spoke.
And when she did speak it was only one single word she whispered. “Wow.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Yeah, wow is right.”
Chapter Thirteen
Natalie
Things had been great over the last few weeks. My morning sickness had finally subsided and I could tolerate smelling things that not that long ago had me running for the nearest bathroom.
I finally was beginning to feel human once again.
Most nights I found myself at Adam’s apartment or him at mine. Our time together seemed to get better every day.
Due to the fact I had been so sick lately and was unable to spend so much time with Hanna, Lexi and Kole decided to put her in daycare. I missed her like crazy and decided that soon I needed to get her for a few hours. A trip to the ice cream parlor downtown with my banana split buddy was a must.
I was on my way to meet the girls for our weekly lunch when my phone rang. I knew instantly it was Adam from the ringtone I had set for him. The melody always made me think of Adam and how he made me feel every day since he declared I was his.
I felt giddy every time I heard it play from my phone.
“Hey,” I said, trying my best to hide the excitement racing through me at that moment.
“Hi baby.” There was that endearment again that I honestly never understood until now. Each time I heard Radley or Kole refer to the girls in that sense I would roll my eyes. Now I understand just how they must have felt each time their guy said it to them. “Where are you?”
“I just pulled in the parking lot at Chili’s.” I replied with a smile. “I’m meeting Lexi and Megan for lunch, then we’re going to the dress shop for the final fitting before the wedding.” I grabbed my purse and began walking toward the restaurant feeling as if everything was right in the world. “Why, what are you doing?”
“I had a break between clients and wanted to see how you were feeling.” He was always checking on me lately, making sure I was fed, or whatever. This taking care of me things had truly gone to his head. “How’d you sleep last night?”
Last night was one of the most restful nights I’ve had in weeks.
I was still sleeping when he left this morning, but sleeping in Adam’s arms had become my new favorite place to be. He made me feel safe and his size compared to mine made cuddling perfect. “I slept well thanks to you keeping me warm.”
I heard him chuckle. “Yeah me, too.”
He took a deep breath and I instantly sensed his anxiety. “Listen, um,” another pause which didn’t help the nervous energy humming through me. “My mom called and invited me home for their anniversary party.” He paused yet again. “She wants you to come with me.”
I stopped walking. “Well, what do you want?” I braced myself for the rejection.
“I want you to come with me,” he said without any further hesitation in his voice.
I couldn’t fight the smile that took over. “Really?”
“Really.” Adam laughed. “Why do you sound so surprised? I told you, this is real.” He did say that a million times over the last month, but I still felt like at any moment he would change his mind. “They already bought the tickets for us. Can you get out of work?”
“Uh…when?” They already bought my ticket too?
“Two weeks from Saturday, the twenty-eighth,” he replied.
I knew the date because my next appointment was the day before. “I think I should be able to. How many days are we staying?”
“We’ll come back on Monday. Can you miss classes just that one day?”
“One day shouldn’t matter,” I assured him. “I can plan ahead.”
“Good, I’ll let ’em know we’ll be there. Enjoy your lunch, baby. See you tonight.” His earlier anxiety suddenly was replaced with excited energy. Such that he didn’t even wait for me to say goodbye before ending our call.
I opened the door to the restaurant with a huge smile on my face and found the nearest hostess to take me to the table to meet my girls.
They both looked up as I took my seat next to them.
“Hey Mama, how you feeling?” Megan asked.
“Well, I can actually eat food without spewing, so I’m good.” I offered a silly wink. “How about you two?”
They both assured me that things were good in their lives too, before signaling the waitress letting her know that the rest of their party had arrived.
After we placed our orders, we began to catch up.
“I’m going home with Adam in two weeks to meet his family.” I tossed it into the conversation like I’d just told them nothing major and the looks on their faces were comical.
“Oh wait,” Lexi said with her eyebrows raised. “The anniversary party. Kate mentioned that last night because she and Dad will be there, too.”
I instantly felt relief. “Thank God, it’ll be nice to know someone besides Adam.”
Megan looked like she was dying for her turn to speak. She was wiggling in her chair like her ass was on fire.
“What is wrong with you, woman? Do you need some Monistat or what?” Lexi was looking at her like she was insane.
I almost spit out my tea the moment the comment left Lexi’s mouth. The two of them never filtered their words toward one another.
“No, you bi
tch…” Megan squeaked and Lexi laughed. “I just need to share some news and you two won’t stop talking long enough to let me speak.”
“Well?” Lexi waved her hand, “Speak, stop stalling and spill it.”
Megan looked back and forth between Lexi and me. The smile spread across her face and I was just about ready to yell at her for delaying when she let it out. “I’m pregnant.” Megan did a crazy happy booty shake in her seat and Lexi squealed. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Oh my God…we’re baby baking together!” I squealed.
Megan giggled, “Baby baking? Yeah that’s cute,” she said. “We just found out yesterday and you two are the first people we’ve told. Well, I’m sure Radley is sharing the news with Kole, but you know what I mean.”
Radley and Megan were getting married next weekend and they find out they are gonna have a baby, too. I was so happy for them.
The two of them had been together longer than Lexi and Kole, and they deserved it all.
Radley and Kole adored my two best friends and I found myself wondering if Adam and I would ever have that type of love.
We’d spent so much time together and it’d been great, but I always let my mind wander to where we would be a year from now. Adam said he wanted us to work, but I was constantly worried about him finding that life with me was not what he’d hoped for.
I was always great when it came to doubting myself.
After our final dress fitting and a quick stop at the mall, I went home to finally relax for a bit.
I hadn’t been working much because of the morning sickness, mixed with my class schedule, so money had been tight lately. The past due bills in my mailbox proved how much I was behind.
In fact I was two days away from my electricity being shut off and two weeks late on my phone payment. I shoved the two bills behind the canister on the counter, suddenly feeling sick from the anxiety they caused and went to take a warm shower.
It was a little after 4:00 when I plopped down on the couch and pushed play on the DVD player. I didn’t have cable, so watching movies was what I did on most occasions.
