by C. A. Harms
I loved being at Adam’s because he had all the great channels and there were always so many options to choose from.
I just settled in to watch one of my favorite chic flicks when my phone beeped indicating a text.
Noah: Are you home?
I wrinkled up my nose in confusion at the message. Noah and I had talked just a handful of times since the night he stopped here when he and Adam had words. He had actually seemed distant since then.
Natalie: Yes…why?
There was no response. Instead my doorbell rang.
My stomach instantly hit the floor.
I slowly moved from the couch and went to the door, looking through the peephole to see Noah standing on the other side holding a small bag. I opened the door and tried to smile politely.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked trying not to appear rude.
“I, uh,” he hesitated, “well I wanted to apologize.”
“For what?” I asked in surprise.
He looked at the bag and then back up, “I’ve been a jerk, avoiding you because of your friend. I don’t think he wants us talking.”
“Adam just gets jealous.” I shrugged.
“Yeah, I can tell.” Noah held the bag out to me. “Here.” He smiled. “I went shopping yesterday and I saw this. I couldn’t pass it up.”
I opened the bag and glanced inside. I could tell it was an article of clothing and I only became even more confused.
I pulled it out of the bag and held it out in front of me.
It was a tiny little yellow T-shirt with the words ‘If you think I’m cute you should see my mommy’ across the front. I couldn’t control my smile.
“Oh, that is cute. Thanks, Noah,” I said, thankful for his thoughtfulness.
He shrugged. “No problem. Maybe one day we can hang out again.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I wanted to be nice but I knew the chance of that was pretty small. Noah wanted more than friendship, and I couldn’t offer that. There really was no point in giving him false hope.
“So I’ll see you around.” I added as he took a step back.
“Yeah, thanks again for the shirt.” I offered a kind smile.
Noah waved and strode toward his car, more like jogged. Once inside he started it up and backed away at the same moment I noticed movement from the sidewalk. I looked up to see Adam scowling at me as he approached.
“What the fuck was he doing here?” he asked as he walked up my steps and I noticed the rose in his hand.
“Ah, is that for me?” I reached out to take the rose ignoring his question when he pulled back his hand.
“I asked you a question,” he barked.
“What is your problem?” I turned around and went into my apartment as he followed closely behind. “You’re being an ass, Adam.” I threw over my shoulder still irritated with his hateful tone.
“I’m being an ass?” he said as if he was surprised.
He threw the rose onto the counter and walked around the edge just before he grabbed the gift bag out of my hand and pulled out the little shirt.
He read the words and laughed sarcastically. “Well, isn’t that sweet.” He tossed the shirt onto the countertop. “So I guess spending time with those of the opposite sex is okay as long as they bring our baby gifts, is that how this works?” He crumbled up the gift bag and threw it across the kitchen. “So if some chick shows up at my place and brings baby shit then it’s okay if I flirt and laugh or whatever else, you’ll be okay with that?”
I felt the tears stinging my eyes. “Noah’s my friend, Adam. He has never been more than that.”
“No.” He arched a brow at me. “But he wants to be.”
I stood in my kitchen staring at Adam as he stared back, showing no signs of backing down. I did nothing wrong and I refused to pretend I did.
He had a past that made him jealous easily and I knew that. But because of the damage caused I wasn’t about to hide away and not speak to anyone of the opposite sex because he had trust issues. I wasn’t Breann and I hated that he held what she did against me.
Noah didn’t even come inside so Adam was out of line.
“You are completely overreacting,” I whispered. “Noah stopped by to apologize for avoiding me the last few weeks.”
Adam’s jaw tensed and his chest rose repeatedly as he took in deep breath after deep breath. I watched him as he stared at me without speaking.
After more silence he reached out and picked up the rose from the counter before turning toward the door.
“Where are you going?” I asked him.
I followed behind him and waited for him to answer me but he remained silent. I watched him open the door and walk down the stairs and with each step he took my stomach tensed even more.
“Adam, wait,” I yelled. “Why are you leaving?”
When he reached the sidewalk, he turned just enough for me to see the side of his face. “It amazes me that you don’t see the wrong in leading that guy on.” He didn’t even give me a chance to say anything before he continued. “I need some distance.” That was all he said before walking toward his apartment, leaving me standing on my front steps, alone.
Chapter Fourteen
Adam
It’s been three days since I talked to Natalie. Maybe I overreacted, but I had reasons. Seeing that fucker at her apartment was enough to piss me off, but when I found that he bought something for the baby, that put me over the top.
He was a man with ulterior motives; how could she not see that?
Hell, I hadn’t even bought anything for my own child and this douche shows up, trying to win over my girl with cute little gifts.
I had to get away that night because I didn’t want to say anything I would regret. Though I felt the little I did say was still too much.
I have a tendency to run my mouth when I’m mad. It was like I had to make them feel more miserable than I felt. I couldn’t do that to Natalie. I couldn’t hurt her.
But the problem was she had complete control.
I tried calling her the last two nights and she didn’t answer. It went straight to voicemail. I stopped by her place last night, but all her lights were out so I didn’t knock for fear of waking her.
But with each hour that passed I felt more like shit. I missed her.
I’d spent almost every night with her over the last few weeks and now I was going on three days without her.
I felt miserable and lonely.
I missed her smile and her laugh.
I missed the way she curled into my chest and fell asleep. The cute little sigh she made just as she was falling into a deep sleep made me melt; I couldn’t stand not hearing it.
I missed her sweet vanilla scent and the way she tickled my back with her fingertips as she wrapped herself around me.
Fuck, this girl was in my head and so deep in my heart.
“Hey, asshole.” I turned to find Lexi standing behind me with her hands on her hips. She looked pissed.
“So what are you doing, sitting around thinking up new ways to break my best friend’s heart?” I take that back, she looked murderous.
I stood from the bench and took a step toward her. “No, actually I’m trying to think of a way to get her to talk to me,” I confessed, hoping to ease some of her anger toward me. “I need to apologize, but she won’t answer my calls or call me back.”
Lexi hmmphed in irritation. “That’s because her phone got shut off, dickhead. She missed so much work that she got behind on her bills and she hasn’t had a phone for two days now.” She barely paused between her rantings. “But if you paid attention, you would’ve known she was struggling. But I guess the only thing you were worried about was getting laid, so of course you didn’t know.”
Lexi turned and stormed off, leaving me feeling like a complete ass.
How could I not know Natalie was struggling?
I guess I never asked her or even thought to help her out. I knew she missed a lot of work, but I never reall
y focused too much on the results of those missed days.
Where the fuck would she have gotten the money to pay her bills?
Lexi was right, I was an ass.
“Damn dude, you really pissed off my wife.” I was brought back to the present by the sound of Kole laughing. “She was cussing you all the way to her car, saying something about beating your pigheaded ass with a bat and then cutting off your balls.” Kole was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.
“Yeah, I guess I have that effect on most women.” I run my hands through my hair. “Did you know Natalie got her phone shut off?”
I didn’t miss the way Kole’s smug grin faltered as he looked away quickly, as if he thought he could hide it.
“Uh, yeah, Lexi told me last night,” he confessed. “I guess she tried to give Natalie the money to pay for it, but she wouldn’t take it. Hell, if we knew who her service was through we’d just go straight there and pay it, but she won’t tell us that, either.”
“Fuck.” It was all I could say.
I remained silent as I fought against the disappointment that filled my chest. “Kole, I need to get out of here. Do you think you could get one of the other guys to cover the lifting class tonight?”
Kole nodded. “Sure man, no problem.” He didn’t have to ask to know that I had every intention of fixing this shit.
“Thanks.” I took off toward the locker room to grab my bag without another word.
Two hours later I pulled up to my apartment feeling determined.
I had just spent over an hour in the cell phone store adding a line to my account and getting Natalie a phone. This was my guarantee that she would never again go without a phone. I would pay the fucking bill even if it pissed her off.
I went inside and took a quick shower, washing away the sweat I still had lingering on my body from a day at the gym.
After I was all cleaned up and dressed, I grabbed my keys from the table and left.
I approached Natalie’s apartment and it was dark inside. I knew she couldn’t already be in bed, it was only 7:30.
I listened with my ear pressed closely against the door and found it was dead silent inside. I knocked lightly and waited.
After a few minutes I heard the chain on the door slide open. And within seconds Natalie stood before me with tear stained cheeks and red rimmed eyes. My chest tightened and ached.
I fought the urge to pull her close and offer her comfort. “Can I come in?” I asked.
She stared at me for what felt like forever before she stepped aside, allowing me to enter. Damn, it was hot as hell in there. I looked around the room and saw candles flickering on the kitchen table, where she had her books and papers scattered across the tabletop. I felt almost instantly sick to my stomach.
I couldn’t even turn to face her because I knew I’d be unable to handle her reaction to the question I knew I had to ask. “Nat, why are you doing your school work by candlelight?”
A sob escaped her throat and it felt like my heart split in two. I turned around and watched as she walked toward the couch as if she was trying to escape.
I followed behind her and knelt in front of her, giving her no way to hide from me. “Why didn’t you tell me you needed money?”
She wiped her tears away quickly. “Because it isn’t your problem. It’s mine.”
I took a deep breath to keep myself from flipping out. “Don’t say that. You are my responsibility. I told you I’d take care of you, baby. You should’ve told me.” She tried to pull away and I held onto her legs tighter. “Natalie, I know I was an ass the other night and I’m sorry. I just got jealous. I don’t want that guy buying shit for my kid. Hell, I haven’t even bought the baby a gift and he shows up with one. To top it off, it’s a gift that is his way of flirting with you. It pissed me off, Nat, and I know I went about it all wrong. I should’ve stayed and talked but I bolted. I needed to clear my head.”
She wouldn’t look at me and it was killing me. “How much do you need to get the electricity back on?”
She shook her head, “I got the money tonight. I just have to go pay it in the morning.”
“You got paid?” I asked.
She looked up into my eyes and I knew she hadn’t without her even telling me no. “Okay, so where did you get the money, then?”
“I borrowed it until Friday. I get paid so I’ll pay it back then,” she admitted.
“Well, I’ll give the money back to Kole tomorrow.” It wasn’t a request. It was a fact.
“I didn’t borrow it from them,” Natalie added. “I was too embarrassed.”
I let that information sink in as I fought to control my temper. I began counting within my mind to refrain from exploding. Now was not the time.
I knew then where she’d gotten the money and I wanted to yell “What the fuck” but I needed to stay relaxed. Once I felt calm enough to speak I looked up at her.
“Natalie, why? Why would you go to him? Do you realize that asshole wants to be the one who rescues you? He wants to be the guy you run to so he can sit back and gloat.” I took another deep breath to calm my nerves. “Baby, I told you I was here for you. I’m here to take care of you and our baby. You have to let me do that. You can’t run to that asshole, because you’re supposed to run to me.”
She broke my heart with one short sentence and all my anger left instantly.
“You left me,” she whispered as her lower lip trembled. It was like she’d kicked me in the nuts; it hurt all the way up into my throat.
It became hard to swallow past the burning thickness that settled there. I let my head fall into her lap and I wrapped my arms around her waist as I took a few moment to just breathe.
I felt her hands run through my hair and I concentrated on the gentle touch that seemed to relax me.
“I didn’t leave you,” I finally whispered. “I’m not gonna leave you. I just needed to calm down before I said something I didn’t mean. I tried calling you the next day a few times and even stopped by. I had no idea that your phone was off along with your electricity. I just thought you were avoiding me, but I shouldn’t have walked away from you.” I rose up and looked at her. “I’m sorry.”
Tears dripped from her eyes as she tried to blink them away. “Me too.”
I got up onto my knees and took her face in my hands and kissed her gently.
The feel of her lips against mine calmed my racing heart. I knew at that moment what I felt for Natalie wasn’t just me trying to be a good man. I knew I wasn’t with her just because we were having a baby. I felt so much more for her and there was no way I could deny it. I was in love with this beautiful girl.
“Come home with me tonight. I don’t want you staying here.” She nodded. “And tomorrow you’re gonna give that fuck his money back. Never again is he gonna take care of what’s mine. Got it?”
Natalie once again nodded.
“Good, now let’s get your stuff.”
***
I got Natalie back to my place and settled in. I made her take a warm shower while I ordered us dinner.
I took time to get all of her books set up on my kitchen table like she had them at her place. And in the center of her workstation I’d just fixed I placed the new iPhone I got her on top of her opened book. I busied myself in the kitchen as if I was oblivious to the addition.
I could hear her feet scooting across the floor but I kept my hands busy without turning around. I poured us both a glass of milk and started placing our dinner onto the plates.
“What’s this?” I heard her ask and couldn’t control the smile that covered my mouth. But I still kept my back toward her. “What?” I asked nonchalantly.
“Don’t play dumb, Adam,” she said, sounding unamused. “This phone, what’s it for?”
“Oh, that,” I said, still playing it all out. “It’s for you.”
I heard her sigh. “I have a phone, Adam. I’ll get it turned back on Friday. I don’t need another phone.”
I carried o
ur plates to the table and went back for the milk. Once I joined her at the table, I looked her directly in the eyes. “That’s your new phone. Don’t argue with me. I added you to my account and you just need to let it go. I’m not gonna fight you on this. Now eat.” I pointed toward the plate that sat in front of her.
She stared at me and I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears. I had to fight my urge to laugh because she was so fucking cute when she tried to appear mean and intimidating.
As if my six-foot-three frame would fear her tiny ass, just barely over five feet. After a minute she gave up and picked up her fork.
We ate in silence and it didn’t bother me because she was here. She was cool, fed and she was safe, and that made me feel complete.
Having Natalie in bed with me after feeling empty the last few nights felt good. I loved when she snuggled against my chest and wrapped her arm around my waist.
I buried my nose in her hair and fell asleep breathing in the most beautiful scent…Natalie.
Chapter Fifteen
Natalie
Adam held true to his word. He paid all my bills that were behind and even snuck in my next month’s rent payment without me knowing. I vowed to pay him back every cent, and that just pissed him off, so I thought it best that I let it go.
I was having a hard time accepting him taking care of me. I had done it myself for so long that I didn’t know how to handle him spoiling me.
Now I stood at my door looking at the box sitting on my front step, left by the UPS man driving away. I knew I hadn’t ordered anything.
The package was large, yet it barely weighed anything and I was suddenly anxious to open it up. I knelt before it without taking it inside and used my key to tear away the tape.
I couldn’t help but laugh as I pulled out the items one by one from the large box. There were three little stuffed animals: a tiger, an elephant and a giraffe. Cute little baby versions of each animal and they even wore little cloth diapers. I reached into the box to examine the remaining items and found a yellow T-shirt.
