He wasn't out of line, not really. Nothing he was saying was inappropriate. If he'd been talking about any other woman, I wouldn't have had a reaction at all. I probably even would've helped him. I liked the guy.
But I didn't want him anywhere near Nori.
Before I even realized I was doing it, my fist connected with Kipp's jaw.
Chapter Ten
Nori
I considered staying upstairs all day, but another part of me knew that would be childish. No matter what happened between X and me last night, I still had a job to do. And no matter how badly he'd behaved this morning, he'd still lost someone he cared about, and I knew all too well what that felt like. I couldn't let him go through that alone.
I was trying to decide the best time and way to approach him again when I heard a car pull in. A glance out the window told me that Kipp was here. It surprised me that he hadn't canceled PT for today. I would've thought he'd be glad of the excuse not to have to do it. Besides, I remembered all too well how much work went into planning a funeral, and there'd be even more since the father had been involved in so many things.
A part of me was grateful to see Kipp was here. When, after a few minutes, X hadn't sent Kipp away, I knew I now had my excuse for going downstairs and seeing how X was doing.
I didn't go right away though. I still hadn't completely recovered from everything that happened since yesterday. I needed to compose myself. So I finally changed out of the robe I'd been moping around in and put on some real clothes. My favorite worn, comfortable jeans. My favorite t-shirt with the dancing cats on it. Maybe a little childish, but I needed comfort, not sex appeal. In fact, sex appeal was the last thing I needed at the moment.
I couldn't think about sex right now. Sex, bad.
Well, not bad. Especially not with X. Pretty fucking fantastic was more accurate...
But, no. I couldn't think about last night or sex or anything other than work and helping X take care of things with Father O'Toole.
When I finally managed to pull myself together enough that I was pretty sure I wouldn't fall apart, I headed down the stairs. I was partway down the hall when I heard a strange noise coming from the therapy room.
I'd almost reached the door when it flew open so hard that it hit the wall and bounced back. I stumbled back as X came storming out. He didn't even look at me, but I could feel a whole hell of anger coming from him.
I considered going after him but caught movement out of the corner of my eye.
Shit.
Kipp was on the floor, holding his jaw.
Shit!
I rushed in. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Kipp scowled as he pushed himself off the floor. “Damn, he's got a mean right hook.”
“What the hell happened?” I asked as I went to get him some ice.
“I have no idea.”
I almost believed him. He sounded pretty convincing, after all. But when I turned around to hand him the ice pack, he wouldn't meet my eyes.
“Right,” I said dryly.
Now his eyes darted to me, then closed as he put the ice on his jaw and winced. “He told me about what happened to Father O'Toole. We'll just go with that.”
I glared at him and he finally shrugged.
“I don't know what's going on with the two of you–”
“Nothing,” I said quickly.
He raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you should tell him that.”
“Dammit, X,” I muttered as I turned and hurried down the stairs.
I didn't need to hear him in the kitchen to know that's where he'd gone. Considering how hard he'd hit Kipp, X's hand would probably need ice too. And he'd be lucky if I didn't hit him hard enough for him to need more than just one bag.
“What the hell?!” I only barely managed to keep myself from shouting as I stalked into the kitchen.
X was already in the fridge, so the door hid most of him. “What?” The word was sharp, brittle almost.
I stepped around him and yanked open the freezer side of the fridge. When I turned, he was looking at me, a belligerent expression on his face. For a moment, I had a good idea of what he must've looked like as the delinquent teenager he once was.
It wasn't endearing.
“What the hell do you think you're doing, hitting Kipp for no fucking reason?!” I threw the bag of peas at him, almost wishing I’d aimed for his face.
“I had a good reason,” X mumbled as he caught the bag against his chest. He looked down at his hand instead of at me.
“Oh, sorry.” I let the sarcasm practically drip from my words. “Let me rephrase that. What the hell do you think you were doing, hitting Kipp for some 'good' fucking reason?”
“None of your damn business.”
The last thread of control I'd pulled together snapped, and that was it. I was done.
“You know what, X, I'm sick and tired of getting that from you.” I wasn't yelling anymore. I wasn't crying. I was beyond it, but definitely not in a good way. “I tried giving you the benefit of the doubt for being an ass. First because of the accident. Then because of you adjusting to this. Then, last night because...” I let my voice trail off. I couldn't say it. Not even now.
“Nori–”
“No,” I said firmly. “No more half-assed apologies, X. No more excuses or telling me that it's not my business. When I accepted this job, you and your life became my fucking business. Father O'Toole asked me to become a part of this because...” I threw up my hands. “You know what, it doesn't matter. He's gone.”
X didn't even flinch.
I shook my head. “I can't do this. I can't work here anymore.”
I turned and walked away. It was surprisingly easy not to run up the stairs, not to cry. Easier than it had been this morning. I was numb.
And I was through letting that asshole make me cry.
Chapter Eleven
Nori
I was starting to wish I had more food on the third floor than some pretzels and a few chocolate bars. Not bad for snacks, but not exactly filling either. I hadn't eaten breakfast because I hadn't been hungry. No lunch since I hadn't gone back downstairs until Kipp arrived. By late afternoon, I was hungry enough to eat, but after what happened with X, not having a real meal seemed like a small price to pay for not running into him again.
Not that staying on my floor had been good enough. I'd actually locked myself in my bedroom, and around five, I was glad I had.
X knocked on my door. He said that we needed to talk. He said that he was sorry for hitting Kipp. Sorry for how he'd behaved with me. He hadn't been very specific, hadn't mentioned last night, but that didn't surprise me. He'd never talk about it, never talk about what happened.
And I didn't want to talk about it. About anything, actually. I didn't want to talk to him or anyone else. I'd already decided that curling up in bed and staring at the ceiling was the only thing I wanted to do right now.
X left after having spent a quarter of an hour banging on the door and asking me to just come out and talk to him. I finally ended up going into the bathroom and turning the shower on until he finally went away.
Every part of me hurt. My head, my heart, my body. While what X and I had done hadn't been as rough as some of the things Tanner and I had done over the years, it still hadn't been gentle. And I had the bruises to prove it.
If this had been a regular day after a morning of great sex, I would've been thinking about each ache and mark with fondness, remembering how they'd come to be. I'd done that before with Tanner, and a part of me wished that I could've been doing the same thing with X.
Except I'd never imagined that X would treat me the way he had. Even as big of an ass as he'd been in the past, I'd never thought him capable of being so...
I sighed. I couldn't even think of a word to describe what I was feeling at the moment.
Actually, that wasn't entirely true. I still wasn't feeling much of anything, because I was trying very hard not to.
I wanted to sleep
, to be able to forget everything for at least that short amount of time. That's what I wanted to do after I found Logan, except the nightmares had kept me from doing that. Well, until the doctor had given me some sedatives. Then I'd slept for days. I still only remembered the funeral through a haze.
I wasn't having nightmares this evening because having nightmares would require the ability to sleep. That wasn't coming any time soon. At first, it was the adrenaline rushing through me after my confrontation, but even after that faded, I knew I wouldn't be able to relax enough for sleep, and I hadn't yet reached that kind of exhaustion that'd take over no matter what.
Maybe tomorrow.
I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. I didn't want to think about tomorrow either. I couldn't stay up here indefinitely. I needed to eat, at least attempt to do the work I'd been hired to do. Maybe not the nursing part since I didn't want to be anywhere near my patient, but the house still needed to be taken care of.
Then there were the calling hours or wake, or whatever plans X was making. I hadn't known Father O'Toole well, but I wanted to go to his funeral, even if X didn't want my support. I'd go to pay my respects.
After that...I didn't know. I meant what I'd said to X at the end of our...conversation. I didn't think I could work for him anymore. Being around him was too hard. I'd done difficult things before, put up with a lot. I'd always considered myself a strong person, but X was too much. I was afraid that if I stayed, he'd break me. It wouldn't matter if I slept with him again or if I just kept going round and round with him. Whatever the method, the results would still be the same.
I'd come out here in an attempt to start over, but all I’d done was run straight into a broken heart. I could barely admit to myself how far I'd fallen and how fast. Maybe I deserved it for leaving my parents, for falling for a patient.
Not that any of that mattered. Nothing would happen between us. Not again anyway.
Which meant I really didn't have any reason to stay in Philadelphia. I hadn't wanted to go back to Texas just for Tanner, and now that I knew he and I weren't going to work, San Antonio had no appeal at all. Even if I couldn't be with X, I respected and cared about Tanner too much to give him false hope.
I needed to figure out what my next move would be. Move being the operative word. I wanted to leave not just the neighborhood, but the city. I knew the chances of running into X once I left this house were slim to none, but I'd never feel completely comfortable here.
Maybe I should just throw a dart at a map, I thought. That could be a fun way to decide where I wanted to go. I could actually go back to Texas. It was a huge state. I could be closer to my parents without being too close. I could move to Dallas or Austin if I wanted a big city. There were small ones too, if I thought that might be a change of pace.
I should've felt excited at the prospect of a new life, one away from all of this. A chance to start over where no one knew me. I could be who I wanted to be.
But I didn't feel anything.
I was starting to think that I was destined to have a very long, unpleasant night when my phone rang. I glanced at the screen, thinking I'd even be grateful for pretty much any distraction.
It was Tanner.
All right, not what I expected.
I didn't know why he'd call, not after our last conversation. Things hadn't ended badly, but they still ended. He should've been back in Texas, moving on. And moving on would be difficult if I kept answering the phone, but I was tired of listening to myself think, so I reached over and picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Nori, thank goodness you answered.”
I frowned. That didn't sound good. I sat up. “Are you okay?”
“I'm fine.”
There was a pause, the kind I recognized. He was trying to figure out how to tell me something.
“I was on my way home from the airport when I got stopped in a traffic jam.” He was speaking calmly, but quickly. “I went to speak with one of the officers at the scene and I recognized the car. It was your mom's.”
I felt the blood draining from my face.
“Both of your parents were in the car.”
No, no...
Panic started to break through the numbness I'd had all day.
“They're alive, but I don't know a lot. They won't tell me because I'm not family. They're at the hospital and I told them I'd call you.”
“Um...okay...thanks...I...uh...” I couldn't put together a competent sentence.
“Breathe, Nori.”
I closed my eyes and nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me.
“A car is already on the way to pick you up. I have a private plane preparing for you. By the time you grab a few things, the car should be there, and the plane will be waiting. There'll be another car waiting here that'll take you straight to the hospital.”
I was still nodding even though my brain was only partially processing his words.
My parents were in the hospital. They could be dying and I was half-way across the country because I was tired of them bugging me. They were my only family and I'd just left them.
And for what? To spend a couple weeks fighting with a man I thought might be something special but was just another asshole? To try and 'find myself' because I felt like they put too much on me?
“Nori!” Tanner's voice was sharp and I knew he'd said my name more than once. “You still with me?”
“I'm here.” My voice sounded weird to my ears, but I didn't take the time to analyze why. “I'm still here.”
“I know you're freaking out right now, but you need to calm yourself and focus. You have to pack a quick bag and then get downstairs to catch the car. Wait until you're on the plane to let yourself fall apart. You'll have a couple hours to pull yourself back together so that you can be strong for your parents.”
We might not be together anymore, but I spent nearly four years listening to him telling me what to do in tense and stressful – though definitely more pleasant – situations. It was almost automatic for me to respond, which was a good thing, because that meant my body did it without my brain having to consciously give the command. It didn't completely alleviate what I was feeling, but it did make it easier to deal with.
“You can do this, Nori,” Tanner said. “I'll stay here at the hospital and call if there's anything new.”
“I should call,” I said.
“They won't tell you anything over the phone,” he said. “I asked if I could just give you the phone, but they said they'd just tell you to come in.”
I cursed.
“Yeah, that's about right,” Tanner agreed. “My next call is to my lawyer to see if I can get anything out of the hospital while you're on your way. I doubt there is, but it's better than sitting around doing nothing.”
“Tanner.” I spoke around the lump in my throat. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” he said. “We're still friends, right?”
“We are,” I said. “But this is above and beyond, Tanner.”
“This is family. Don't worry about it,” he said firmly. “Don't think about anything other than doing what you need to do to get here.”
“Thank you,” I said again. I hesitated, and then asked, “Will you be at the hospital when I get there?”
Silence for a moment. “If you want me to be.”
I didn't need to think about it. I couldn't face this alone. “I do.”
“Then I'll be here,” he said. “Now, get moving.”
He ended the call and I stood. I had things to do.
I'd freak out later.
Chapter Twelve
Xavier
I wasn't sure which was worse, the pounding in my head or the ache in my hand. I hadn't taken any of my pain pills yesterday, so when it'd become clear that Nori wasn't going to talk to me, I found my bottle of tequila where I'd left it the night before and drained the entire thing.
It'd helped me forget about Father O'Toole, and about my asinine move with Kipp. It hadn't
, however, managed to make me forget a single thing about Nori. That bliss hadn't come until I'd finally blacked out.
I enjoyed the unconsciousness, but the waking up part was far from pleasant. My mouth felt like I'd eaten shit-flavored cotton and just the idea of opening my eyes hurt. My head felt like someone was splitting it open. Sawing. With a dull, rusty blade.
I opened my eyes a slit and then groaned. My room was dark, but even the small stream of sunlight was too much. I started to roll over and felt my stomach lurch.
Fuck.
I was going to puke.
I should've just laid back down until the urge passed, but I also had to piss bad enough that I knew if I didn't get out of the bed now, I would make a different kind of mess. I'd rather clean up some puke on the floor than have to clean a mattress drenched in urine.
I managed to make it to the bathroom, but just barely. It wasn't pretty, and I had a mess to clean up, but it wasn't as bad as it could've been, so I supposed there was that.
It took me a while to get my shit together, clean the bathroom and myself. I tried not to think too hard while I did it since pretty much everything except 'soap good' made even my teeth ache. The one thing I couldn't stop from popping into my head, however, was that I needed to figure out some way to make Nori talk to me. I needed to explain so she could understand.
So I could convince her to stay.
Except I knew there was something else I had to do first. I knew Nori well enough to know that she'd never consider forgiving me if I hadn't already apologized to Kipp. Plus, he really did deserve an apology. I'd been so far over the line that I hadn't even seen the line. He had no way of knowing how I felt about Nori, and there was nothing crude about anything he'd said. It was just my own jealousy over the thought of Nori with him that'd come out. It hadn't been anything personal either. I actually really liked him.
I just didn't like the idea of Nori with anyone but me.
Dom X - The Complete Box Set: Alpha Male Romance Page 27
