by H. Karhoff
“Who’s Tim Gholston?”
“Number thirty-five. He’s a wide receiver, but he should really be a cornerback because he’s fast. He just can’t catch or hang on to the ball to save his life.”
“You know a lot about football, don’t you?”
“I guess.” I shrugged. “My brother used to play.”
“Chris played football?” He smiled.
I nodded. “Until last year. He made the varsity team, but he didn’t want to play anymore, so he quit.”
He shook his head and opened the door leading outside. “I didn’t picture Chris as a jock.”
I walked through the door. “He used to love sports. He played basketball and wrestled, too. So did Jake. Well, Jake played football and basketball. I don’t think he ever wrestled.”
Devon chuckled. “Jake Wilson?”
“Yes, Jake Wilson.”
“That’s funny.”
“Did you ever play any sports?”
“No.” He shook his head. Then he narrowed his eyes as if he’d thought of something. “Actually, yeah, I did. I played baseball when I was nine.”
“Were you good at it?”
He chuckled. “Not even a little bit.”
“I suck at sports, too.” I smiled. “I’m probably the most uncoordinated person on the planet.”
“Is that why you’re not a cheerleader?”
“Pretty much. My mom made me take ballet classes when I was five. She thought they would make me more graceful, but I was so terrible, the instructor made me a tree at the recital so that I wouldn’t have to move very much.”
“I’m sure you were the best tree there.”
“I was the only tree. Everybody else got to be swans. Except Kenn, she was a princess.”
“Were you jealous?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I hated ballet. I didn’t even want to be in the recital, but my mom said I had to go. It wasn’t all bad, though. After the recital, Camber’s mom took everyone to get ice cream.”
“Camber? Isn’t she that anorexic bitch that’s always running her mouth at pep rallies?”
“Camber’s not anorexic, but yeah, she’s captain of the cheer squad.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to insult one of your friends.”
“She’s not my friend. I can’t stand Camber. She told Taylor that Angie slept with her boyfriend, Aaron. Now everybody’s mad at Angie and she didn’t even do anything. The whole thing was that Dustin blew off Miranda to go out with Angie and Miranda and Camber are best friends, so Camber thought that if she told everyone Angie was sleeping around that Dustin wouldn’t want to go out with her anymore, but it didn’t really work out that way.”
I paused to take a breath and realized that I had lost Devon’s attention. His eyes were focused on something on the other end of the parking lot.
“I’m sorry,” I said and he looked at me. “You couldn’t care less about any of this, huh?”
“It’s all right,” he replied. “Go on. What happened?”
Although I knew his interest wasn’t genuine, I went on as we continued across the parking lot and away from the school. By the time we reached my street, I had filled him in on every snippet of gossip from the last week.
“You’re just a powder keg of information, aren’t you?” He chuckled.
“I’m not sure what a powder keg is, but sure,” I said. “What about you? Anything interesting happening with the guys?”
“You aren’t going to let that go, are you?”
“Nope.” I shook my head and laughed. “Not a chance.”
We stopped at the end of my driveway. I glanced at the house before turning to look at him. It was the first time I wished I lived farther away from the school so the walk could be longer. I didn’t want him to go.
“I guess we made it,” he said.
“Yep.” I nodded. “Thanks for walking with me.”
“Anytime.” His voice was low, almost a whisper, and he spoke through a soft smile.
Slowly, he leaned closer until I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. My heart raced in anticipation. I’d dreamt of this moment. He put his hand on my cheek and I closed my eyes, turning into his touch. His thumb swept across my soft, pouty lips. Then he kissed me.
It was a gentle kiss, like a delicate breeze, but it stole my breath. Opening my eyes, I blinked a few times. My heart fluttered and I had goosebumps. He was so close that I could see the lines of black running through his irises. His tongue brushed softly against his bottom lip. Then he grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me again.
I put my hands on his chest, pushed myself onto my toes, and kissed him back. When his tongue touched my upper lip, I opened my mouth. Unlike the mechanical way Chad French kissed and my eighth grade boyfriend’s slobbery attempt at it, Devon knew what he was doing. His tongue massaged mine instead of assaulting it. I never wanted it to end, but he pulled away.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s okay,” I replied. “I don’t mind, really.”
He brushed the back of his fingers against my cheek. We stared at each other for what felt like hours, but was likely only a few seconds. The tiny voice in my head that steered me away from trouble prompted me to walk away. Yet, my feet didn’t move.
“I should go,” he said as if he were trying to convince himself.
“You don’t have to,” I replied.
“I should. I have to go to work.”
“All right.” I sighed. “See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah.”
He hesitated for a moment longer before he turned away. Running his fingers through his hair, he glanced back at me as he walked past the neighbor’s house. He smiled. Then he took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one.
I stood where he’d left me until he was at the end of the street. Once he’d gone around the corner, I went inside and picked up the phone to call Kennedy. I knew she’d disapprove, but I felt like I would explode if I didn’t tell someone. Unfortunately, she wasn’t there. Her mom said she’d gone to the mall with some of the other girls from school. She promised to have Kennedy call, but I wasn’t surprised when the phone didn’t ring.
After I’d gotten the twins to bed and done my chores, I attempted to finish my homework, but my mind wouldn’t focus well enough for any of it to make sense. The only thing I could think about was Devon and the kiss. I desperately wanted to talk to someone about it, even if just to get it out of my system. The whole thing had completely thrown me for a loop. I wasn’t sure what to do. Breaking up with Chad was obvious, but there was still Devon’s girlfriend to think about.
What if he doesn’t break up with her? I thought. What if he doesn’t want to be more than friends and the kiss was a regrettable impromptu mistake? No. It couldn’t have been. He kissed me twice. He wanted to kiss me. That doesn’t mean he liked it, though. I don’t exactly have a lot of experience. I might be terrible at it. Maybe Chad isn’t a terrible kisser. Maybe I am.
Setting my textbooks to the side, I took some paper and colored pencils out of my desk drawer. The sound of the pencils scratching the thick paper helped calm my nerves. Slowly, the chaos in my brain went from apocalyptic thunderstorm to light rain. I fell asleep with a pencil still in my hand, hoping the morning would bring more answers.
“Are you and Chad going to the mall with everybody tomorrow?” Kennedy asked.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged.
“Why not?”
“Because I think I’m going to break up with him.”
She jerked her head so fast I was amazed she didn’t give herself whiplash. “Why on Earth would you do that?”
“Some stuff has happened and—”
“This is because of that stoner creep, isn’t it? You have been seeing him behind Chad’s back, haven’t you?”
“No.” I scrunched my brow. “Devon and I are just friends.”
“You keep saying that, but you don’t act like h
e’s just a friend. You’re always flirting with him and now you want to break up with Chad because of him.”
“Devon doesn’t have anything to do with it,” I lied. “I want to break up with Chad because Chad is a jerk.”
“No, he’s not.” She shook her head. “All boyfriends have moments when they’re complete idiots, but Chad is not a jerk. He really likes you. He told Jason he just doesn’t know what you want because you’re never happy about anything he does. I really think you should stop being so hard on the guy. It’s not like you’re going to find anybody better.”
I rolled my eyes. “There are tons of guys better than Chad.”
“Do you really want to go back to being a Nobody? Because if you break up with Chad, that’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to be a Nobody with no friends and no life. I’m sorry, Tori, but I really don’t want to go back to being a loser.”
“What’s the difference?” I asked. “It’s not like I’m somebody now.”
“Sure, you are.” She smiled. “You’re Chad Jenkins’ girlfriend. Everybody knows you.”
I sighed. Being known as Chad Jenkins’ girlfriend wasn’t my idea of fame. It was like being Chris Douglas’ sister or Kennedy Phillips’ friend. When people only know you because of your relationship to someone else, they don’t know you at all.
Walking into the side hall, I saw Devon standing at his locker and paused for a moment. Absentmindedly, I put my hand to my lips. It was impossible to look at him without thinking about the way he’d kissed me and how much I wanted it to happen again. When he glanced at me, I pretended to yawn. Then I put my hand down, smiled, and continued to my locker.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” he replied indifferently.
I looked at him. “Is something wrong?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Why would there be?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged.
He closed his locker and turned toward me. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Without giving me the chance to reply, he walked around me and out of the hall. I had no idea what his problem was, but for the rest of the morning, he didn’t say more than a handful of words to me. He claimed that he was busy. I doubted that was true. From the way his friends kept looking at me, I got the feeling there was more to the story. He just didn’t want to tell me.
Eight
As I inattentively listened to my weekend being planned out at lunch, I stared at Devon across the cafeteria. I wasn’t sure what was going on between us, but I didn’t want it to end. I’d never been so infatuated with anyone. When I wasn’t with him, all I could think about was seeing him again. My already poor grades slipped even further because I couldn’t concentrate in class. I spent my time daydreaming about the next time I saw him. Even at that moment, sitting next to my boyfriend, my mind was across the room.
“Hey.” Chad bumped my arm and returned me to reality. “You ready?”
I glanced up at the clock. There were only a few minutes left of lunch and I’d been so distracted that I’d barely touched anything on my tray. My stomach waged its protest as I tossed what should have been enough to keep it happy in the trash.
“I was thinking I could pick you up early tomorrow and we could get some dinner before we go,” Chad said as we walked out of the cafeteria.
“Go where?” I asked.
“Bowling.”
“We’re going bowling? I thought we were going to the mall or something.”
“Everybody decided we were going bowling instead.”
“I don’t really want to go bowling.”
“You should have said something then. We all talked about it.”
“You didn’t talk to me about it.”
“I tried, but you were off in a different world, as usual.”
“I don’t like bowling.”
“You could sit and watch.”
“Yeah, that sounds like fun.” I sighed.
“What do you want, Tori? We already made plans. I’m not going to tell everybody we have to change them just because you don’t like bowling.”
“Then don’t. Just go without me. In fact, you can go to everything without me from now on.” I didn’t realize what I said until the words were out of my mouth. Once they were, however, I didn’t want to take them back.
“Seriously? You’re breaking up with me because you don’t like bowling?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m breaking up with you because I don’t like you.”
“I don’t like you either,” he said.
“Fine, then. I guess that’s it.”
“I guess it is.”
As I continued down the hall without him, I felt like a boulder had rolled off my back. It was a relief to be rid of Chad. For the first time in months, I wasn’t dreading my weekend. Even if all I did was sit at home and do homework, it would be my choice. I was tired of being dragged around without any concern for what I wanted.
Having nothing to do became much less appealing after a few weeks. I’d lost most of my friends in the break-up and Joy rarely did anything outside of school and youth group. I was so bored that when Mom asked if I wanted to go to the grocery store with her, I jumped at the opportunity.
As we perused the aisles, Mom tried to connect with me by asking about my life, but she couldn’t overcome the impulse to lecture. After I admitted that I was bummed out about my social life, she gave me a speech about how I had plenty of time to worry about boys and parties after college. I folded my arms across my chest and grumbled something at her about being out of touch with reality.
“You’d better watch your attitude, young lady,” she scolded.
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “Can I just go wait in the car?”
“No. We’re spending time together. We never spend time together anymore.”
“I can’t imagine why,” I said under my breath.
When we got to the register, I was relieved the experience was almost over. Even though I’d stopped talking, Mom hadn’t. She continued to lecture me about my priorities. According to her, they were all wrong. She told me I needed to focus more on important things like school and college at least a dozen times. I finally agreed with her just to get her to shut up, but she found a new reason to complain: I wasn’t stacking the groceries on the conveyor belt properly.
“It doesn’t matter, Mom,” I said.
“Yes, it does, Tori,” she insisted. “There’s a way to do things.”
“Fine. Then you do it.” I rolled my eyes and turned around.
When I did, I wasn’t all that surprised to see Devon standing at the end of the counter bagging the groceries. It was just my luck that he would happen to be working at the grocery store and be there at exactly the right moment to witness my mother’s compulsive nagging. Now, I had something new to add to my list of reasons my life sucked.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi,” I replied nervously.
He looked different in the dark green button-up shirt and black tie the male grocery store employees wore. His face was clean-shaven and his hair was combed neatly. Instead of his usual baggy jeans, he wore black slacks. The only thing he hadn’t changed was his boots.
“I didn’t know you worked here,” I said.
“Yep,” he replied.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Mom watching us. I thought she would say something embarrassing about me talking to him, but it turned out she wasn’t pleased with the way he bagged her groceries. She started barking orders at him as if he were the biggest idiot she’d ever met. He smiled politely at her. Then he rearranged the bags until she was happy that everything was in its correct place.
“Oh, my, gosh,” she said as he lifted the last sack into the cart. “Tori, I forgot to get cream.”
“You can come back for it later,” I replied.
“I won’t have time later and James used the last of it in his coffee this morning.”
“All right, so get it no
w.”
She looked from the cartload of groceries to the cashier to the supermarket aisles as if she were debating whether or not to go back. The customers in line behind us groaned, telling her to get out of the way. She’d already caused a back-up making Devon re-bag all the groceries. Finally, she decided to send Devon and I out to the car while she went back through the store. After she paid the cashier, she gave me her keys and a quick lecture about making sure Devon didn’t squish the bread. I assured her that he wouldn’t, but like usual, she didn’t believe me and had to say it five times as we walked away.
“I’m sorry,” I said once we were through the doors.
“Don’t worry about it,” he replied. “She’s not the worst person I’ve dealt with.”
“Really? I didn’t think anyone was ruder than my mom.”
“She’s not that bad.”
“You don’t live with her.”
“Not sure I’d want to.” He chuckled.
Walking up to the back of my mom’s car, I put the key in the trunk and opened it. “Do you want some help?”
“No. I got it.” He shook his head and put the bags in the trunk. “Sorry, about blowing you off at school lately. I’ve had a lot of stuff going on.”
“It’s okay,” I said, looking around the parking lot. I was nervous about talking to him. He’d been acting weird since we’d kissed. I’d pretty much convinced myself it was because he didn’t like me as more than a friend and didn’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me.
“So, do you want to do something later on?” he asked.
I turned to look at him. My heart leapt. I couldn’t believe he was actually asking me out. From the moment we’d met, I’d wanted this day to come. I’d practiced what I would say a million times in my head. Now that I had the chance, however, all I could say was, “Sure.”
“Great.” He smiled. “I get off at five. I could pick you up about six, six-thirty.”
