by H. Karhoff
Fifteen
The car slid when Devon turned off of Main Street. He went too fast for the corner, especially when the streets were filled with snow and ice. Terrified that we would smash into the side of the liquor store, I grabbed the door to brace myself. Devon turned the wheel, glancing over at me as if I were the crazy one as the car straightened out.
“Relax, Tori,” he growled. “I know how to drive.”
“I know,” I squeaked.
“So, why don’t you peel yourself off the door?”
I released my grip on the door handle and drew in the deepest breath I could manage. My hands shook and my heart pounded a million miles an hour. The fright had momentarily dried my tears, but I could feel more rising to the surface. I held my breath and pressed my lips together to hold them back.
Devon turned the car onto his street slower than he’d taken the corner on Main. I watched out the window as we passed the old shack beside his sister’s house. The snow covered everything in a thick layer of white. Combined with the gray skies, Devon’s neighborhood reminded me of a black and white photo from the Depression. Everything was dreary.
“Well, we’re here,” Devon grumbled as he pulled into his driveway and stopped the car. “Let’s get this over with.”
I looked at him, tempted to tell him he could take me home if he wanted. With the mood he was in, however, I was pretty sure he’d just snap at me. The best course of action was probably to avoid doing anything that would further irritate him. I was barely holding it together. If he yelled at me again I was going to lose it.
“You getting out?” he asked roughly, glancing at me as he opened the driver’s side door.
Inhaling, I gripped the door handle and pulled it. The door popped open. Frigid air poured into the car. The damp wind felt like it carried tiny shards of glass. It stung my cheeks as I stood up. Stepping around the door, I pushed it shut and turned to see Devon waiting impatiently on the other side of the car. After I’d walked around to meet him, he grabbed my hand and started toward the house briskly. I struggled to keep up with his pace, but between the snow and my short legs, it was almost impossible.
I walked in the house ahead of him, pausing in the open doorway. The front room was vacant except for the long-haired man, who sat in the same spot he’d been the last time I'd seen him. If I hadn’t known better, I would have sworn he hadn’t moved. There was a collection of beer cans on the coffee table in front of him that would have taken days to accumulate.
“If you don’t mind, it’s a little cold out here,” Devon complained.
“Sorry.” I stepped out of the way.
The man looked over at us, barely moving his lips when he spoke. “Hey, kid,” he said. “Took you long enough. Where’s my smokes?”
“Here,” Devon replied, taking a green pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and tossing them across the room. “Where’s Lia?”
“In the kitchen,” the man answered. “She’s in one of her moods, so be careful when you walk in there. She might bite your head off.”
“What’d you do to her?” Devon asked.
“Nothing.” The man shook his head. “I was just sitting here drinking a beer and she went all super-bitch on me. I don’t know what the fuck’s wrong with her. She’s being a fucking bitch.”
“I’m being a what?” A woman yelled from the dining room.
I looked over to see a chubby woman charge through the doorway between the dining and living room. She wore a black sweater with heeled boots that almost touched the hem of her knee-length skirt and her skin looked extremely pale against her pitch black hair and dark makeup.
“I think you can get the fuck out of my house,” she yelled at RJ.
“Jesus Christ, woman,” he replied. “Take a chill pill.”
“Pack your shit and get out,” the woman screamed. “I’m tired of this shit, RJ. All you do is fucking sit around this house all day, drink beer, and get high. I’m done supporting your worthless ass. Get out!”
“Do you believe this shit, kid?” RJ looked at Devon.
The woman whirled around. “You better keep your mouth shut, Dev. Your ass will be back out on the street right along with him. I told you earlier, I’m not fucking putting up with it.”
I stepped behind Devon. It was clear that he wasn’t the only one in his family with a temper. The woman continued her verbal assault as she marched through a door on the left side of the room. Seconds later, clothes flew into the living room. RJ followed her and the yelling got louder as heavier items sailed through the open doorway. The two of them made Mom and James look like children squabbling over cookies. I’d never seen or heard anything like it.
“Come on,” Devon said quietly. “We should probably wait in the other room.”
“Okay.” I nodded.
I followed him through the dining room. We could still hear the argument taking place in the front of the house, but at least we were out of the line of fire.
“Are they always like that?” I asked.
“Yeah, pretty much.” Devon nodded. “This is the first time she’s kicked him out, though. Most of the time she just screams and throws shit when she’s pissed.”
“So, is that your sister?”
“Yeah.”
When we walked into the kitchen, there was a small boy in a highchair in the middle of the floor. He had something that looked like it might have been bananas spread around the tray in front of him and even more all over himself.
“You had a good time with your dinner, didn’t you, Casper?” Devon leaned down and spoke to the baby in a soft, jovial tone.
The boy slapped his hands on the tray, splashing mashed bananas onto Devon’s shirt and laughing. Devon brushed off his shirt. Then he took the tray off the high chair and put it on the counter. Pulling open a drawer, he got a rag and wet it under the faucet. He used it to wipe most of the food off the toddler before taking him out of the chair.
“There you go.” He bounced the little boy gently. “That’s better. Mommy’s going to have to give you a bath, isn’t she?” He pulled a chunk of banana out of the baby’s hair and tossed it in the sink before he turned to me. “This is Casper. My nephew.”
“Hi, Casper.” I smiled.
Casper couldn’t have cared less about me being there and after a few minutes, I got the impression that Devon didn’t either. I knew it was silly to be jealous of a baby, but I wanted Devon to be as happy to see me as he was to see his nephew. Instead, he seemed annoyed that I was there. Taking off my coat, I backed up into the doorway and watched in silence.
“Excuse me.” Lia walked up behind me.
I’d been so enveloped in watching Devon play with his nephew that I hadn’t noticed the yelling had stopped. Turning to look at Lia, I apologized quietly as I stepped out of her way. She passed me without saying another word. Then she went to the stove and checked whatever was in the pot. Satisfied that it was cooking properly, she walked around Devon and the baby to the sink.
“Everything okay?” Devon asked.
“Shit no,” she answered as she rinsed the tray for the highchair and put it on the counter next to the sink. “I spent all morning cleaning this fucking house and the first thing RJ does when he gets home is make a damn mess all over my living room. I asked him to clean it up and he tells me he’s not a fucking maid. It’s not like I asked him to do the dishes or some shit. Just clean up after his own damn self, but I guess that’s too much to fucking ask.” She paused. “Stupid son-of-a-bitch. He can go leech off someone else. I’m done with his ass. This is my fucking house. I’m tired of working my ass off while he sits around watching fucking TV all day. I can’t even trust him to watch Casper. Mother-fucker will get high and let the damn house burn down.”
“Do you need me to help with anything?”
“I got it. I just need to calm down a bit.”
She leaned back against the counter and grabbed a pack of cigarettes that set on the edge. I watched as she pulled one out a
nd put it to her lips. She offered the pack to Devon, but he shook his head and went back to playing with the toddler.
“Get this.” Lia continued once her cigarette was lit. “He had the nerve to get pissed at me about the fucking cable bill.”
“What’s wrong with the cable bill?” Devon asked.
“I didn’t have the money to pay it because my last check was short so I had to hold off on the electric bill. I didn’t have the money to pay both the electric and cable out of this check, so I told them to shut it off. RJ hit the fucking roof. Started screaming at me about how I need to get my priorities straight. Can you believe that shit?”
“Why was your check short?”
“Because I had to take time off when Casper was sick.”
“I have that interview tomorrow at the hardware store. If I get the job, I should be able to start helping out a little more.”
“Fuck, Dev,” Lia said. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. They’re threatening to turn the gas off if I don’t pay the bill by Monday, and I have no idea where I’m going to shit out the money.” She took a drag off her cigarette. “I barely had enough to get fucking groceries after I paid the hospital.”
“How much do you need?” Devon asked, shifting the baby to his left side so that he could take out his wallet.
“Sixty something.”
I was surprised. It seemed ridiculous to be stressed about such a small amount of money, but Lia was visibly worried. I watched her take a slow drag from her cigarette while Devon thumbed through the bills in his wallet. He gave her most of what he had and she held the cigarette between her lips as she counted it. Then she looked up.
“Are you going to be going out again later?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Devon nodded. “I have to take Tori home at ten.”
“Tori?” She furrowed her brow and looked at me. “Oh, fuck. I forgot you went to get her. We’re being really fucking rude, aren’t we?”
“It’s okay,” I said.
“No, it’s not.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry.” She put the money on the counter and took a step toward me. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you, too,” I replied
I shook her hand when she offered it. Her palms were calloused and she gripped my hand firmly. If I hadn’t been looking at her, I would have thought she was a man from the feel of her rough fingers.
“Well, I’d say Dev’s said a lot about you, but I’d be lying.” She chuckled. “The only way I even knew he had a girlfriend was because RJ told me. He acts like everything’s a big secret.”
“Yeah.” I glanced at Devon. I didn’t want to say anything that would upset him again.
“So, are you from here in town?”
I nodded.
“Do you go to school with Dev?”
I nodded again.
She looked at Devon. “Quiet, isn’t she?”
“Not usually,” he grumbled.
She turned around and smashed her cigarette into the ashtray. “Well, dinner should be just about done. If you want to put Shorty in his play pen and get the table cleaned off, I’ll get this finished up.”
“All right.” Devon nodded.
He carried the baby past me. I backed up against the wall again, watching as Lia took the large stock pot off the stove.She drained the potatoes into a colander in the sink before dumping them back into the pan and setting it on the counter. Devon returned as she poured milk over the potatoes. He opened the cabinet to the left of the sink and pulled out a stack of plates. Setting the plates on the counter, he dug three forks out of a broken drawer and placed them on top.
Opening the oven, Lia took out a shallow pan of pork chops. One of the potholders slipped, causing her hand to touch the hot metal. She cursed and pulled her hand back. All the pork chops slid to the unsupported side. Devon quickly grabbed the pan before they spilled out on the floor. He gritted his teeth as the hot water lining the bottom splashed onto his shirt sleeve. Then he set the pan down on the oven door and waved his hand through the air.
“Dumbass!” Lia grabbed his arm, pulling him to the sink. She turned the faucet on, pushed his sleeve up forcefully, and shoved his hand under the running water. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“It was going to fall,” he said.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
He set his jaw and tried to pull his hand away from his sister. “I’m fine.”
“There’s some burn cream in the bathroom,” Lia said. “Can you grab it…whatever your name is?”
“Sure.” I nodded.
I hurried to the bathroom and looked around. Above the back of the toilet there were shelves cluttered with baskets. I grabbed the one that looked like it had medicine in it and searched through it. Near the bottom, I found a tube of burn cream. Putting the basket back, I ran out to the kitchen. Lia had taken Devon’s hand out of the water and was carefully blotting it with a towel.
“Next time, let the shit fall,” she said sternly.
“It’s not that bad,” Devon replied, flinching as she touched the towel to his palm.
“You’re lucky,” she answered. “It could have been much worse.”
“Here’s the burn cream.” I held out the tube.
“Thanks,” Lia replied gruffly as she snatched it.
Devon tried not to let on that it hurt as she rubbed the ointment on his hand. He locked his jaw and grumbled at her that she was making a fuss over nothing, but neither she nor I was fooled by his act. His hand was red as a tomato and every time she touched it, he winced. Once she’d finished with Devon, Lia washed her hands in the sink. Then she slid her hands into two oven mitts and moved the pork chops to the top of the stove.
I ran my fingers through Devon’s hair in an effort to comfort him. He glared at me. Then he rolled his shoulder and stepped away. I backed off, folding my arms across my stomach and rubbing my elbows. If he didn’t want me to touch him, I wouldn’t.
“Grab a plate,” Lia said.
Devon turned around and grabbed the top plate with his unburned hand. He held it out toward me, but I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to take it so I didn’t move.
“You going to take it or not?” he asked.
I took the plate cautiously. “Thanks.”
He stared at me for a second, squinting. Then he turned around and handed the next plate on the stack to Lia. I stepped back against the counter, waiting for Devon or his sister to make the next move. Neither did. Instead, they both stared at me as if I was supposed to do something.
“Help yourself.” Lia gestured to the stove.
“That’s okay.” I shook my head. “Go ahead.”
She looked at Devon and shrugged. Turning to the stove, she stabbed one of the pork chops with her fork and lifted it out. She set it on the plate with the fork still stuck in it and handed it to Devon. Then she took the plate and fork he was holding, repeating what she’d just done. She traded the second plate for the one Devon had given me. When she’d finished handing out the pork chops, she spooned a dollop of mashed potatoes on each plate. I felt silly standing there holding a skewered pork chop slightly covered in runny potatoes, but I didn’t say anything.
I followed Devon and Lia when they went into the dining room. Devon set his plate down and then pulled out one of the chairs. I expected him to sit down, but he walked around to the other side of the table. I took a step forward, but hesitated, not sure if he’d pulled out the chair for me. He hadn’t been the most accommodating person all night, so it wouldn’t have surprised me if he was just walking around the table to get something before he sat down. Lia took the chair at the end of the table, glancing from me to her brother and shaking her head. Devon stood on the other side of the table for a second. Then he plopped into a chair roughly and dragged his plate closer. I watched him carefully as I sat in the chair he’d pulled out for me.
Dinner was excruciating. Devon’s attitude didn’t improve and he spent most of the meal avoiding his sist
er’s attempts at conversation. She tried to talk to me a few times, but I had no idea what to say to her. Everything I’d done that night seemed to be the wrong thing. I decided it was best to keep my head down and my mouth shut.
After dinner, I helped Lia take the plates into the kitchen. When I offered to help with the dishes, she chuckled and told me not to worry about it. She went to give the baby a bath and I followed Devon into his room, still feeling incredibly unwanted. I looked around nervously while he sat on the edge of his dresser smoking a cigarette.
“You’re being really quiet,” he said after a few minutes. “Something wrong?”
“No,” I lied.
I didn’t want to get in another argument. As it was, I was barely holding myself together. All I wanted to do was cry. The way he acted reminded me of Chad. The only difference was that I actually cared about Devon. Losing him would be like losing oxygen. Just the thought was suffocating.
“What do you want to do now?” he asked after a few minutes.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged.
“That’s a big help.”
“I’m sorry. Maybe you should just take me home.”
“Do you not want to be here?” he asked.
“You don’t want me to be,” I answered.
“Why would you say that?”
“Because. It’s pretty obvious you’re mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you.”
“It feels that way.”
He stared at me as he finished his cigarette. Then he smashed it into the ashtray on his dresser and crouched down in front of me. Drawing in a deep breath, he gently took my hand and held it between both of his.
“Hey,” he said softly, waiting for me to look at him. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been an asshole, but it’s not because of you. There’s a lot of shit going on right now. You just kind of stepped in the middle of it.”
“You mean with Lia?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “With Lia and work and some other stuff. And on top of that, my head is fucking killing me.”
