by Luna, David
“Sebastian.”
Sebastian was already walking away when he replied, “Thank you for coming, Sir, but I think you should leave. It’s easier that way.”
Gideon, unable to fathom how things went south so fast, just stood there in shock. When he finally got his wits about him, he turned to find Sebastian gone, most likely on his way upstairs.
GIDEON WALKED OUT THE FRONT door to see his brother on the landing at the top of the stairs, chatting with Zoe. He was in a daze and had never felt so utterly broken. He glanced up to see his brother watching him, concerned. He was about to tell him to head on home, that he’d be staying, but a crying Zoe was headed towards him.
“You’re just giving up? You weren’t even in there thirty minutes!” She shoved him in the chest, not moving him an inch. “He needs someone who’s going to be strong for him, not leave at the first opportunity. He needs help, Gideon. I’m doing my best, but it’s not enough.”
He was so shocked by her outburst and so completely wrecked, that he didn’t try to stop her tirade, he just hugged her. Kissing her on her head, he pulled away. “Your best was enough to get him here. I’m so grateful to you. I’m not going anywhere, he just went upstairs to rest. I came out to tell Finn that he could take my car home.”
Her eyes turned up to him as if afraid to believe what he was saying. “Really?”
“Yeah. I don’t know what’s going on. He told me I made the right decision for us and he asked me to leave.” When she opened her mouth to argue he held up his hand. “I’m not listening to him. I’m here to stay.”
She began to tell him just some of what he’d missed, emotion obvious, in her voice. “He’s sick as a dog, Gideon. And so tired. His meds have really bad side effects, but that’s better than the alternative. His insurance denied the preauthorization request that his doctor had fast-tracked.”
“Wait. His insurance won’t pay for treatment?”
“Some treatment, yes. This surgery? No. They think he has viable alternatives. He’s been on the phone talking to his insurance, calling the hospital, other doctors. This is the only option unless he wants to live like he’s been living for the last few months. But they’ll just continue getting worse and he’ll have no quality of life, this is his only option to be free of them.”
He had no idea what she was talking about. “Slow down. What keeps getting worse. What does he need to be free of?”
The stunned look on her face didn’t make him feel better. Her voice shook when she finally managed, “His seizures.”
Seizures were so far from anything he would have guessed that he didn’t know what to do with it. He was reeling and he didn’t even know the implications of what she was saying. He shook his head and tried to say something but he had no words.
All Gideon could think was he’d been doing it all without any help. Zoe had done her best, but she wasn’t available to Sebastian like he would have been. But instead… Instead he’d been going on some fucked-up revenge mission. He glanced away from Zoe, his eye catching the sign in front of Sebastian’s house.
“That’s why he’s selling his place.”
“Yeah, but that’s only for the second half of the surgical costs. He couldn’t get the money fast enough. He had to pay for part of the first half out of his retirement account, and lost a lot in taxes. The rest wiped out his savings. He’s been appealing his insurance’s decision, but all of his requests have been rejected.”
He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “All of this could have been avoided if he’d just told me that he was really sick in the first place. He’s giving me nothing to go on and he asked me to leave. Obviously, that’s not happening but I don’t want to be digging for every scrap of information. I don’t even know what kind of surgery he’s having. I’m going in blind.”
Zoe crossed her arms over her chest as if to ward off a chill and whispered, “I can’t pronounce it. It’s an extratemcortal recession, something like that.”
Gideon looked over at Finn and saw him close his eyes and take a deep breath before he met Gideon’s gaze. “Extratemporal cortical resection. It’s a craniotomy, Gideon.”
His knees gave out and he slumped back against the front door and slid down its surface until he was on his ass, looking up at his brother in shock. Finn approached and squatted down in front of him. “We’ll make sure he’s got the best surgeon. I know of several I’d pick to be on his case, but we’ll check and see who it is and go from there. You won’t be alone in this. We’ll deal with it.”
Gideon shook his head and fisted his hands in anger aimed only at himself. “He’s been doing it alone this whole time and I don’t even know how long ‘this whole time’ is. He told me his parents are down in San Diego. He didn’t admit anything to Zoe until just three weeks ago. It makes me fucking sick to know that he’s been struggling and feeling as if he has no one to turn to. He was alone for Thanksgiving and Christmas and I ended it and asked him to leave our family on New Years. I chased him away, for fuck’s sake!”
Zoe whispered something he didn’t hear and he had to ask her to repeat it. “He’s never really had anyone. His family is awful. I’m one of his first real friends, Gideon. And I only know what he’s felt comfortable telling me over the last couple weeks. We weren’t that close before. He never seemed to want to let anyone get too close, or, I don’t know. Maybe he didn’t know how?”
He needed to see his boy, hold him. “I’m gonna go be with him.”
His heart hurt. Standing up, he grabbed the door handle and opened it, ushering Zoe inside. She put a hand on his arm and whispered, “You need to see something.”
She walked towards the dining nook and shuffled through some of the paperwork, until she found an envelope in the pile and handed it to him. Finn stood beside him as he opened it up. She crossed her arms over her chest again and nodded to the paper he pulled out. “He hasn’t given up. I want you to know that. But he’s prepared for the worst. He wrote his parents a letter, letting them know what was going on, telling them that he loved them and that he was sorry things were so strained between them, this was their response.”
Gideon looked down at the paper and began reading.
Sebastian,
Leviticus 20:13:
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
We did not raise you to be an abomination in the eyes of God, and yet, that is exactly what you have become. God’s work is being done, as was inevitable, as is just. If this sickness is to be the death of you, it is the punishment you must bear for such atrocities against The Lord Our God. Only by His hands, upon your death, will you truly learn about everlasting damnation.
Colossians 3:25:
For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.
You get what you deserve in this life, Sebastian, God makes it so.
Beatrice and Harold Phillips
Gideon’s hands shook as he handed the letter over to Finn. He stood, his hands fisted at his sides. He wanted to punch a hole in the wall, find Sebastian’s parents and make them suffer, as they’d made him suffer. Zoe gently placed a hand on his shoulder, as she stood in front of him, which pulled him out of his livid thoughts. “Do you love him, Gideon? I know you care. You wouldn’t be here otherwise, but if you’re going to help him, if you’re going to be what he needs right now, he won’t truly lean on you unless he knows that it isn’t pity, that it’s love.”
Gideon hugged her to him, his whole body still vibrating with anger. “He couldn’t have done better in choosing you. When I tell him how I feel I want him to be the first to hear it. I’ll be taking over, going forward. He’s had enough on his plate and the stress can’t be helping. I want him to focus on getting well.”
He pulled away and smiled gently at her. “Is that mountain of paperwork all related to everything going on?”
She nodded and he looked at Finn, his eyes beseeching, knowing he was asking much of his brother. When he received an immediate nod, he continued, “Gather it all up and hand it over to Finn. He’ll work with our financial advisors to ensure it’s dealt with. Provide him with anything you can find regarding his treatment plan, surgery, and prognosis and he can let us know his thoughts on next steps.”
She clung to Finn when he pulled her to him. Gideon headed towards the stairs but turned back to look at his brother. He knew it was asking a lot, but what Finn couldn’t do he’d hand over to someone else in their family.
“Find his bank account info and make sure to make a sizable deposit. I need him to have what he needs. Also, get our lawyers involved with his insurance, regarding any appeals he’s been working on and to go over everything with a fine-toothed comb. There’s got to be a way to get his surgery approved. I’ll pay for whatever’s not covered, but he’s been paying for insurance for a fucking reason, so we need to make sure they’re doing right by him.”
Finn nodded and said, “I’ll get everyone over here to finish his packing and anything else he needs done starting tomorrow. He could probably use some peace and quiet tonight.”
Gideon nodded and thanked his brother. He was about to climb the stairs when another thought occurred to him. “Also, I want them to draw up a medical power of attorney. It needs to be clear that I’m legally responsible for him and will provide advanced directive with any health care proxies, and his living will, in case he is incapacitated for any reason and I need to make his medical decisions.”
Zoe spoke up, “He has a lawyer. I’m sure his information is here somewhere. We’ll figure it out.”
Gideon looked at Finn. “His parents are to have no visitation rights, let alone be able to make medical decisions, on his behalf. Oh, and, Finn, destroy that fucking letter. The paper is worn. He’s been reading it, most likely, over and over again on a daily basis, taking those words to heart. I want no evidence of it left.”
Finn nodded and continued to hold Zoe, rocking her back and forth as her crying slowed. Gideon took the stairs two at a time and found Sebastian in bed, bundled in his duvet with only the top of his head showing. Gideon removed his shoes, emptied his pockets, and got into bed with his boy who was warm with a fever. When Sebastian stirred, and turned his body toward Gideon’s, he kissed his head. Sebastian looked up, his bleary eyes red-rimmed from crying nearly broke Gideon’s heart.
He smiled a soft, dreamy smile and whispered, “I’m dreaming, aren’t I?”
Gideon replied just as softly, “No, baby, I’m here. Rest now.” But Sebastian’s eyes were closed again and he was out.
Gideon woke a short while later when the bed shook. Disoriented he pushed himself up on his elbow to check on Sebastian and realized his boy was in the throes of a seizure. Scared to death and not sure what he should be doing, he didn’t try to intervene except to keep Sebastian’s head from hitting his nightstand. He didn’t want to try to do any more than that and harm him accidentally. He watched and he waited what was probably less than a minute but felt like the longest moments of his life, his heart shattering into a million pieces.
Sebastian settled right back into a deep sleep without waking. Gideon drew him near, tucking him into his body again. His boy had endured so much pain and there was still so much he didn’t know. As he thought about how alone he’d been for so long he made a promise to himself and Sebastian that he’d never be alone again. He’d have more love, more family, more friends and more happiness than he could imagine. He wouldn’t want for anything.
A calmness settled over him and his attention refocused on the man in his arms. He let his hands roam gently over his boy’s small, gaunt frame. He’d always thought of Sebastian as being so tough and resilient. Small, yes, but still so full of strength. The fragility of the boy’s body in his arms brought home as nothing else had, his vulnerability. It belied the strength Gideon had attributed to him physically and he had to admit it was more a mental and emotional toughness that made his boy seem stronger physically than he really was.
His mind took a while to shut down. He made a mental list of all the things he needed to do to ensure he was able to be away from the club for an extended amount of time. He wasn’t worried about it and knew his family would step up if something happened that his management team couldn’t deal with. Another list was made for the various things he needed to do for Sebastian. It seemed never ending, the lists he was making, but he worked best under pressure and he wouldn’t fail his boy ever again. With that knowledge he let himself drift, his boy safely ensconced in his arms.
Gideon woke several hours later feeling uncomfortable and overheated and realized that Sebastian was in the midst of a fairly high fever. He eased himself out from underneath him and went in search of a thermometer. When he didn’t find it in Sebastian’s bedroom or bathroom, he headed downstairs to try to find one and get a cold compress and some water.
What he saw there made him stop in his tracks. Finn and Zoe were on the floor on the living room rug. The coffee table had been moved and they were organizing the paperwork in small piles, trying to put like pages together and make heads or tails of the still huge pile. There was a pizza box on the floor between them and they were murmuring, while placing papers here and there, in some organized fashion that Gideon was glad he didn’t have to figure out.
They must have realized they had an audience because they both looked up at him and she asked, “How is he?”
Gideon sat on the coffee table and scrubbed his hands over his face. Glancing from her to his brother, he said, “He had a seizure but never really fully woke up. He slept two solid hours afterwards. I didn’t know what the fuck to do to help him, Finn. What do I do?”
“There’s not much you can do. Wait for it to pass. Never hold him down, but if you can keep him from getting hurt that’s good. Turn him on his side if you can, during or afterwards to prevent choking. If he’s not on the floor, try to get him there. People get injured most when they don’t feel one coming on and they can’t get to a safe place.”
Gideon glanced over at the stairs. “Fuck. Fuck me. He didn’t trip, he had a seizure. I knew he wasn’t telling me everything. God dammit.”
“What happened?”
“He fell down the steps. He was fucking bruised from head to toe. Jesus.” He lowered his head into his hands and pushed them back into his hair. “Fuck. Why didn’t he just tell me?”
Zoe sat beside him and put her arm around his back. “I asked him the same thing. It’s not a reflection on you. He’s always been alone. He doesn’t know any different. His parents did a number on him, telling him flat out he was a burden to them. He never wanted to put anyone in a position to have to take care of him.”
He glanced over at her, incredulous. “He’d never be a burden. Jesus, they’re monsters.”
She nodded. “Yeah. They are. But we’re here now. He’s finally got people in his corner.”
Gideon patted her knee, standing up. “He does. He’s got a pretty high fever from what I can tell. Does he have a thermometer? I’m gonna get a cold compress and some water. Maybe some acetaminophen for when he wakes.”
She got up and headed into the kitchen, leaving Finn to continue with the paperwork. Gideon sighed, knowing he was asking a lot of his brother. “Thank you, Finnegan. I know this isn’t what you had in mind for today.”
Finn looked up and gave him a look he couldn’t discern. “Gideon, I don’t think you’ve ever asked me for help with something this important to you my whole life. If I can do anything to help you or your young man up there, I’ll be doing it. I’ve talked to Mom, filled her in. She’ll fill the rest of the family in. I’m sure you have several texts on your phone. I know I did. You’ll probably have visitors tomorrow, if Sebastian is up for it.”
Gideon nodded his head. “Yeah. I think that’s good, even if they only stay for a short time. He needs to know he’s got family now. I�
�m going to lean on you a lot to get me the information I need. I want the best surgeon, whatever the cost.”
Finn smiled. “That goes without saying. I’ve texted Camden at Connelly, Taylor and Bennett. They’re aware we need their help with the legal aspects of his case. He said first thing tomorrow morning he’d draw up the papers you need and bring them by before noon, with a notary, so that you can get them signed as soon as possible, which will make dealing with the rest of this stuff much easier. They’ll have a nice little skirmish with the health insurance people, but I’m sure they’ll have it dealt with fairly quickly.”
Finn continued to shuffle papers around, adding more from the bigger pile onto the smaller piles surrounding him, and held up a paper. “His receipt for the first half of the surgical costs.”
“How much?”
“Seventy-five grand.”
“Jesus Christ. All right. We’ll have to find out how much of that was from his retirement and see if it can be paid back. There’s no reason for his insurance to reject the surgery if his doctor says it’s medically necessary, so I’m counting on Camden to work that out.”
“I’ve talked to his doctor as well. He can’t give any specifics, obviously, without Sebastian’s consent but we spoke in generalities. He doesn’t think a surgery like this should be delayed too long, but if we get another doctor to come in to perform it, or travel to another hospital, he recommends it gets done within a month.”
“Okay, well hopefully Sebastian will sign the necessary paperwork. I’m not going to force anything on him, but hope he’s willing to look at other options if you feel it’s necessary. I’m assuming you need his medical records?”
Finn nodded. “Yeah, the sooner the better. I’ve got a couple people in mind, depending on his specific circumstances.”
Gideon was about to comment further, when Zoe approached him with her hands full. He reached out and pulled everything he’d asked for out of her hands, thanked them both again with a promise to talk to his brother more later, and headed upstairs to tend to Sebastian.
