by Luna, David
Gideon smiled. “Hey, baby. How do you feel?”
“All right. Tired. Throat hurts.”
Gideon glanced over, when another voice said, “That’s normal. The breathing tube usually causes some pain when it’s put in and taken out. It will pass.”
Sebastian turned his head to see a nurse standing beside his bed, looking at the computer monitor. When she glanced his way, she smiled and said, “Hi, Sebastian. My name is Megan. I’ll be one of your nurses while you’re in the NSICU.”
“Hi. I’m thirsty.”
“I know you are, but we can’t give you anything except ice chips for now or you’ll get sick. I’ll bring you some in a few minutes, all right? Your surgeon should be here in the next hour or so, to talk to you about your surgery.”
All he could do was nod. He glanced back to Gideon and might have been able to get out an “I love you,” before he was out again.
Sometime later, he pulled himself out of a fog and opened his eyes. The room was dim and he could hear voices off to the left. “Gideon?”
“Hey. Yeah, I’m here, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” He approached the side of Sebastian’s hospital bed and ran his hand up and down Sebastian’s arm.
He was just about to answer when he heard a light knock on the door. Dr. Cook walked in, her smile as wide as the one she’d had before the surgery. Any tension he had eased at the look on her face. He gave her a tentative smile as she approached the bed.
“How are you feeling?”
He wondered how many times a day he’d be asked that question, but answered anyway. “All right. Tired. Thirsty.”
She looked around and reached for something at the foot of his bed. Handing Gideon a cup, she said, “Gideon is going to give you some ice chips. Let them melt on your tongue or chew them slowly so you won’t get sick. I’m going to run a few tests while I’m here, but first things first. We were able to find and remove three seizure foci, which is great news and means that your surgery was a success. We won’t know for some time how successful, but I couldn’t be happier with how it went.”
He smiled and glanced up at Gideon whose grin had gotten even bigger at hearing that. The doctor took something out of her lab coat pocket and approached him. She used her flashlight to see if his pupils reacted properly.
“Can you tell me your name?”
Confused, he answered, “Sebastian Phillips.”
She smiled and then asked him to move his fingers, his toes, his arms, and his legs. “You’ll experience some nausea and headaches. We’ve already planned for that and given you pain medications and anti-nausea meds, but they may not be able to stop both from causing issues for you, so let us know if they do. We’ve also got you on some steroids for the swelling in your brain and an anticonvulsant.”
Sebastian’s eyes grew heavy and he tried to think of what he wanted to ask. Finally, all he could come up with was, “Will I always have to take anticonvulsants?”
The doctor shrugged and answered, “We’re not sure. Some people are able to get off of them completely. Some take them for a year or two and then are weaned off of them. Others have to take them for the rest of their lives. Seizure activity should hopefully be reduced significantly or completely.”
When all Sebastian did was offer a small nod, she continued, “If you have any strange symptoms or anything feels off, you need to let the nursing staff know, immediately. No suffering in silence. You’ll be here for about four days. You’ll be monitored closely and put through tests repeatedly. We just want to make sure everything is functioning as it should be. And remember you’ll need to stay in Rochester for two weeks before you can fly home and we’ll have to clear you as safe to travel the day before. All right?”
Overwhelmed, all he could say was, “Okay,” and he looked up at Gideon when he felt Gideon’s hand clasp his. They both looked at the doctor then, and Gideon asked, “I’d like to stay overnight while he’s here. Will that be an issue?”
Dr. Cook shook her head. “No. They should have cots or some kind of convertible chair. All other visitors will have to leave when visiting hours are over.”
“Doc?”
“Yes?”
“Um, I remember counting to ten during the surgery. Am I making that up in my head?”
A surprised look passed across her features and she shook her head. “No. Most people don’t remember anything that goes on while under twilight sedation. We asked you to count to ten, identify some pictures, raise your arms, and wiggle your fingers and toes. You did great.”
“Do I have a hole in my skull?”
“Well, we had to drill small burr holes to be able to use the saw, so those are there still, but very small. After the surgery was done, we sutured the dura mater back together, reattached your skull bone with titanium plates and screws, and then sutured your muscles and skin back together.”
Sebastian’s eyes popped wide and he asked, “Will the plates and screws be removed later?”
She shook her head. “No. You’ll have those permanently. We’ve also got a small tube inserted in a burr hole to drain any blood and fluids over the next day or so.”
Sebastian glanced back and forth between Gideon and the doctor. Gideon finally asked, “What is it?”
Sebastian blushed when he asked, “Am I going to set off the security at the airport?”
Dr. Cook laughed and shrugged. “You don’t have that much metal, but you might, as there’s not a lot of muscle and skin on top of your head to hide it. It won’t be an issue. You’ll be one of many they deal with daily.”
Feeling silly for asking, he nodded and thanked her. They spoke for a couple more minutes and then she said her goodbyes and Gideon sat down on the side of his bed. He gazed up at Gideon, his eyelids feeling like they weighed a ton. He smiled when Gideon leaned down to kiss him, and he admitted, “Tired.”
“Go to sleep, baby. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
Sebastian mumbled, “I love you,” before he was down for the count.
He woke sometime later; the room was dim and he heard murmuring again. He opened his eyes and smiled, glancing Finn and Gideon’s way. His eyes popped wide and he sucked in a breath when, instead of seeing Finn, he saw Braden in a recliner across the room. Gideon was resting in his same recliner beside his hospital bed.
Looking back at his friend, disbelief in his voice. “What are you doing here?”
Braden tilted his head like he couldn’t understand the question. “What do you mean, what am I doing here? Where else would I be?”
Sebastian shook his head. He could be a million other places. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact he’d flown to be with him. “When did you get here?”
“Late last night. We arrived at the hospital while you were being prepped for surgery. We didn’t want to distract you or cause any stress beforehand, so we waited in the waiting room.”
He glanced at Gideon. “Wait, we? Who’s here?”
Gideon gently placed his hand on top of Sebastian’s. “Everyone. But only two people can be in the ICU with you, so they’re swapping out while I stay with you.”
Sebastian didn’t know how to process any of that. It was all too much, so he focused on Gideon instead. “Wait, was that all the texting you were doing yesterday and last night?”
Gideon smiled and nodded. “Yeah.”
Sebastian turned his hand over in Gideon’s and gripped it like a lifeline, overwhelmed. He glanced over to Braden and smiled. “Thank you for coming.”
Braden grinned. “You’re welcome. Go ahead and rest, Bastian. You don’t need to try and stay awake.”
“No. I was just asleep for hours, right? I’m good for a while.”
Famous last words. He wasn’t awake more than another five minutes before he was out again. He woke in the middle of the night with pain in his head and nausea roiling in his stomach. Gideon was asleep in the nearby recliner which he’d pulled as close as possible to Sebastian’s bed so that he could hold
his hand. God, how had Sebastian been lucky enough to deserve him? He wasn’t sure he actually did, but he couldn’t seem to let him go.
He turned when he heard the door open. A nurse he’d never met walked in. He was African American, skinny as a rail, and nearly as tall as Gideon.
Sebastian heard the leather of the recliner squeak and he looked over at Gideon, who’d just woken up. “Hey, baby.”
“Hi.” He turned to greet the nurse and grimaced. “Hello. I’m hoping you can help me with the pain in my head. And I’m feeling nauseous, is there something…”
“Yeah.” The nurse reached over to the counter on the wall by the door and got him a deep pan, in case he threw up. “There you go. My name is Will and I’ll be one of your night nurses while you’re here in the NSICU. You’re gonna feel nauseous for several days, most likely, and you won’t feel hungry much at all, which is probably for the best. We’ll increase your dose of the anti-nausea meds. You’ve got pain meds coming through your IV right now, but if you’ve got breakthrough pain, go ahead and push that button on the cord beside you. That’ll administer some pain meds, if you’re able to have more.”
Sebastian reached for the cord and pressed the button, hoping he’d get a dose. “I can’t seem to stay awake to save my life, is that normal?”
Will smiled and nodded. “Yeah. You’ll basically be sleeping while you’re here. Tomorrow we’ll get you ambulatory and you’ll have a CT and MRI to check and see how you’re progressing. If you’re doing well, you’ll be moved to a step down unit.”
“All right. I—”
That was all he got out before he was sick into the pan he’d just been handed. His whole body did its best to expel anything and everything he’d had left in there, which wasn’t much, but his body sure wasn’t convinced of that as he continued retching. He realized that Gideon had stood and was rubbing his back.
Will brought him a cup of water. “Rinse your mouth, if you think you’re done, but don’t swallow. It’ll just set you off again.”
Sebastian nodded and raised his other hand to his head where the pressure of the vomiting had sent shooting pain into his skull. Gideon clasped his hand before it could make contact with anything. He swished the water in his mouth a couple times, spitting it into the pan. Will took the pan and set it on the counter behind him and Sebastian rested back into his pillows.
He looked at Gideon and asked, “Can you lay my bed all the way back?”
Will typed a few commands into the computer and said, “It’s not good for you to be lying flat, yet. You can tilt it back a bit more, but that’s it, and keep those pillows behind you to stay elevated. We want to keep your head above your heart at this point. I’ve ordered your meds and I’m going to bring you some ice chips in a minute or two, all right? But don’t eat too many or you’ll be sick again.”
Sebastian nodded his understanding, feeling slightly better, the meds kicking in fast. He closed his eyes to rest, but the nurse had other ideas and had him go through several tests like the doctor had done when she’d been in and then took his vitals. Afterwards, Gideon kissed him, and murmured, “I love you. Get some rest.”
He woke up the next morning and though he shouldn’t have been, he was still surprised to see Siobhan sitting at the table. Gideon, as always, was reclining in the chair beside him, looking up at the muted television while some sports team or other was playing a game. He told her thank you for coming and then was out again.
The following three days were more of the same but the tube was removed and after several hours without any issues, he was moved to a step down unit where he was allowed more visitors. His heart was full, even if his skull felt like a jackhammer had taken up residence up there. His new family was there, every one of them, and he couldn’t have been more grateful, even if he did sleep through most of it.
What they thought would be four days turned into five and then six. There were no complications, thankfully, but the doctor was being extra cautious and wanted him to stay those two extra days so that he could be monitored before being let go. On the sixth day, he was allowed to leave. Gideon’s family had already left two days prior, after he’d been declared stable enough to move out of the NSICU. But Zoe, Zavier, and Braden had remained behind. It still amazed Sebastian that they’d come at all, let alone stayed for that length of time.
The final three would be leaving the following day, after he’d been settled into their hotel suite. The hotel was comfortable and he had all the amenities they’d need, but he’d still much rather be at home. Zavier and Braden had gone grocery shopping for them. They had a full kitchen in their suite and Gideon didn’t want them to have to order room service or other takeout for every single meal.
Even when he was in the hotel, he was still sleeping through most of his days and nights. His doctor assured him that it was normal. He was sick to death of the bed, but Dr. Cook said no sofa sleeping or recliner sleeping, so the bed it was. And though the bed didn’t incline, Gideon had called down to the front desk and had what probably amounted to every single pillow in the place brought up so that he was ensconced in a mound of fluffiness reminiscent of what he assumed clouds would feel like.
Every day he was able to get up and move about a bit more, but he felt almost like he had the flu. He was exhausted, mentally and physically, he didn’t want to eat, didn’t have energy, slept all the time, and his whole body seemed achy. But, he hadn’t had even a bit of a tremor or warning of an impending seizure and he couldn’t help but mentally cross his fingers and even his toes, that he would eventually be completely free of them.
The following Friday, twelve days post-op, he had his final appointment with Dr. Cook to get signed off on air travel so that they could head home. Finn was waiting for the go ahead, and then he’d be flying back to Rochester so that he could travel home with them, in case he was needed. Sebastian had been embarrassed when Gideon had told him that and had tried to tell Finn he didn’t need to come. But Gideon had asked Finn, not wanting to take any chances with Sebastian’s health, so nothing was going to deter him.
When he’d gotten the all clear and an encouraging final checkup with his doctor, he’d finally relaxed and started to think that things could finally be turning in his favor. When Sunday’s flight went off without a hitch and he finally went to sleep in Gideon’s bed after such a long time, he couldn’t help but feel even more hopeful. He didn’t know how he was going to put up with six to eight more weeks of convalescence, but he’d get through it. He fell asleep that night curled up close to Gideon, Slap and Tickle asleep at his feet, unwilling to sleep in their bed for fear that he might disappear on them again.
THEY WERE TWO WEEKS INTO what would probably be at least six of Sebastian recuperating at Gideon’s loft. Sebastian had spent most of it sleeping, as his doctor had warned him he’d be doing. It annoyed the hell out of his boy, but Gideon could see the improvement in his coloring as the days went by. And Gideon couldn’t be happier that Sebastian had settled right back into his home like he was meant to be there, as Gideon knew he was.
When they’d walked in the door that first night back, Slap and Tickle had both tripped over themselves in their rush to get to Sebastian. His boy had sucked in a breath and turned toward him with a gorgeous smile and a thank you. Maya had watched the cats while Zoe had been visiting the hospital, but as soon as Zoe had gotten back, she’d taken over. Gideon had asked her to bring them to his loft that day, hoping it would make Sebastian happy. And as he’d watched the reunion, he’d been glad he had.
Sebastian had gone down on his knees and then he’d sat down, right by the elevator doors. He’d laughed softly and tried to pet them as they climbed on him, wound themselves around him, kneading his legs and chest. They’d both rubbed their faces on Sebastian’s, sniffed him, and licked his face.
Sometimes they acted more like dogs than cats and Gideon laughed as Sebastian held Tickle in his arms and the little monster had batted his paw at the turban-like length of gau
ze wrapped around his head. Gideon hadn’t put a stop to it, only because the little monster was batting at the opposite side of the surgical wound and seemed to only be pointing out that he didn’t like it, not trying to claw it off.
In addition to the little fur balls, also unbeknownst to Sebastian, Gideon had taken several of Sebastian’s boxes, including two with art supplies, from the house to his loft before the move. He’d been happy he’d thought of it when they discovered Sebastian wasn’t even able to do simple things like watch TV or read a book, because his concentration was shot. He’d discovered he could draw because it was easily set down and picked back up again. He wanted Sebastian to have anything he might need at his place while he was recovering.
If he was honest with himself, he’d also done it in the hopes that it might help convince Sebastian to move in. When he’d found out, however, Sebastian had gotten frustrated that he’d done so. The only thing that had saved him from a fight over it was the fact that Sebastian couldn’t keep himself awake.
Thankfully, when he’d pointed that out to Sebastian—with a smile on his face like he’d gotten away with something—his boy couldn’t keep a straight face and finally laughed with him. It could have all gone tits up for him at that point, but Sebastian made sure to make it clear to him that Gideon was the one that would pack it all up to move it back to Sebastian’s apartment. He’d readily agreed because it wasn’t as if, in a million years, Gideon would ever make his brain surgery-recouping submissive pack and lift a bunch of boxes, but he didn’t point that out.
They’d discovered there were other things Sebastian couldn’t do as well. It brought home to Gideon how self-sufficient and independent Sebastian had had to be his whole life because he was annoyed and impatient as fuck to have to rely on Gideon. He wouldn’t let his boy lift anything heavier than the cats, and even that he’d tried to discourage. Gideon drove them daily to a little local park and they walked around the little pond several times before Sebastian would get tired. Inevitably they’d get back home and Sebastian would annoy the hell out of himself again when he fell asleep.
