Saving Sebastian: A Catharsis Novel (Custos Securities Series Book 3)

by Luna, David

  And though he hadn’t been sure it was the right thing for him at first, he’d realized that being a submissive felt like coming home. His boss ultimately rejected him, but Sebastian was still grateful that he’d helped him discover his true nature. No longer wanting to work for his boss and dealing with some medical issues, he needed to find a new job with good medical insurance. Being a newly licensed tattoo artist, he searched for openings at other local studios but none of them offered it.

  When he’d seen the ad for a police sketch artist and realized he could tailor his schooling and get the credits he needed to get the job, he’d applied to the position, gotten the job and changed his coursework. Around the same time, he’d joined another local club called The Dungeon, where he’d met Zoe and they’d bonded over their common love of ink.

  He smiled at Gideon and said, “So that’s my life, in a nutshell.”

  “While you were sleeping in the hospital, Braden told me that you were in high demand and don’t have enough time to do as many tattoos as you’d like. How did that happen?”

  “For a long time I thought about trying to tattoo over my birthmark and sometimes you can do so successfully, but with the type I have it wouldn’t work. The changes that occur over time, like the blebs that grow, the bumpiness and thickness that takes over would distort the tattoo anyway.”

  “What made you think to do scars?”

  “Well, I thought about how much better I’d feel if I could cover it, how others with PWSs would feel. Then I got to thinking about other ways people get disfigured and would be self-conscious, and how tattoos might work to help them feel confident again. So I started on my own scars. It’s really different tattooing over scars. So, I played at it for a while and tried to learn on myself. Then, I placed an ad in several local papers and on various social media outlets, asking for people that had scars they’d like to cover with a tattoo.”

  “And you got a lot of traction?”

  Sebastian chuckled. “Well, I offered steep discounts because I couldn’t guarantee it would work for everyone’s scars and I was just beginning to learn the differences of working over scar tissue versus regular skin. Eventually, I was confident enough that I started to advertise it as my specialty and that’s when things got kind of crazy.”

  Gideon ran his hand over Sebastian’s shorn scalp. Something Sebastian had learned to love the feeling of, and asked, “How’s that?”

  “Well, I worked on a woman’s breast cancer scars. She knew someone else who had the same scars she had and asked me if she could give my card to her friend, but wanted to be sure I would be very discreet. I assured her that I would. Her friend called and turned out to be a pretty popular actress who felt so much more confident after the tattoos, she posted them on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.”

  “Holy shit. I bet that was crazy.”

  “Yeah. She was nice enough to warn me, at least, so I was able to somewhat prepare.” Sebastian laughed, remembering. “But, I seriously had no idea what that would do and it took a while to figure out a system. My phone was blowing up. I finally created a form people had to fill out. I’m still booked solid and I can’t help as many people as I’d like.”

  “So, you want to be able to help more people, but you don’t have the time?”

  Sebastian nodded, knowing that’s exactly how he felt. “Yeah. It’s frustrating, but I do it as often as I can and do my best to get to as many people as I can.”

  “Why don’t you do it full time?”

  “I need good insurance. That’s why I took the police sketch job and I’m really good at it.”

  “You’re great at it, but is it your passion?”

  Sebastian shrugged. “No, but it pays the bills and I have the kind of coverage I need for my health issues.”

  “There are other options for health insurance these days. It sounds like you can set your own pricing for your tattoos, and if you could do them full time, you’d be making enough to be able to pay for it. I might be able to add you to mine as my domestic partner.”

  Sebastian gaped at Gideon. “But… How would that work? We’re not even living together.”

  Gideon raised a brow. “We could be. I want to be.”

  Sebastian shook his head. “It’s too soon. You know it is.”

  “I know nothing of the sort. You’re scared. I understand that. You want to trust me, but I don’t think you feel like you can, yet.”

  “I trust you!”

  “I think you trust me with your body, and for the most part, with your mind. You trust me within our Dom/sub context, but I don’t think you trust me with your heart. I hurt you too badly for that.”

  Sebastian shook his head. “No, I—”

  “Yes, Bastian. And I can’t blame you for it. I’ll regret the way I treated you, the way I ended it and left, for the rest of my life. All I can do is work to prove myself to you. I’ll wait until you’re ready, but I will keep asking you because I want to start our life together, all right?”

  He nodded, and replied, “Yes, Sir. I’ll keep thinking about it.”

  “Think about giving your boss notice and going out on your own. I’ll do everything I can to support you. Life is too fragile, too short to not be doing what you love when you know exactly what it is you were meant to do.”

  Sebastian knew he was right, but he was scared. “I’ll think about it.”

  Gideon nodded. “Do that. I know it’s scary. But you’re immensely successful, you’d have enough work and would be able to help so many more people just by doing what you love.”

  “Yeah. I know. I’ll think about it.”

  “All right. Let’s get ready for bed quick and then get some sleep.”

  Sebastian nodded and they got up to brush their teeth. It’s funny how someone else pointing something out makes it literally all you can think about. He spent the time getting ready for bed thinking about Gideon’s words. Then he thought about it as he lay in bed trying to sleep. He’d even dreamed about it that night. He realized the next day he’d been thinking along those lines for a long time but had refused to give it too much credence. As soon as Gideon mentioned it, it was as though he started something that couldn’t be stopped.

  He sat on it for another week, thinking of all the ways it couldn’t work and then realized that he was just making excuses. Next thing he knew, and without even talking to Gideon, he was taking a Lyft ride to his office after setting up a meeting with his boss. He was nervous as hell and felt like shit. He’d been on paid medical leave and he felt like he’d taken advantage of the situation.

  Captain Conway steepled his fingers and stared at Sebastian across his desk after they’d caught up on what had happened over the last couple months. “You’re quitting.”

  “I…” Sebastian’s jaw dropped and he scowled. “How the hell do you do that?”

  “I’m a cop. And you look nervous and guilty. I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep you indefinitely. You’re too talented to wanna draw criminals’ faces for the rest of your life. I even have a job req approved for whenever it happens.”

  “But… What if I never quit?”

  His boss shrugged. “I’d have probably asked you what you wanted to do for the rest of your life and then pushed you to do it.”

  “I feel awful.”

  Captain Conway frowned in confusion. “Why would you feel awful?”

  “Because I took medical leave. Honestly, Cap, I had no idea I’d be doing this before I went out on leave.”

  “I know that, but even if you had known, you have a right to go out on medical. You’d been paying into your short-term disability for years. You aren’t doing anything wrong, Sebastian.”

  “But I don’t want to leave you in the lurch. I want to make sure that you have time to hire someone before I come back, so that I can train them before I leave. I’ll give you as much time as you need when I get back.”

  “That’s fine. Hopefully, I’ll find someone before you come back. If I don’t, that
’s on me and you’ll leave two weeks after your return. You’ll just have to spend those two weeks giving extra training to whatever cop is going to take over until we do hire someone.”

  “Okay. I’ll let you know as soon as my doctor clears me to return to work.”

  “Sounds good. And, Sebastian? I’m glad everything went well. You look better now than you did when you left.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  He walked out of the station feeling lighter than he’d felt in a long time. He didn’t know how it would feel not having his backup plan to provide for what he needed. He got into the Lyft car he’d scheduled and headed back to Gideon’s place. He thought about telling Gideon when he got home but decided against it.

  He knew he’d tell him eventually but wanted to be moved home first. He was worried that Gideon would feel like him being without a job and guaranteed money coming in, would mean he couldn’t take care of himself and stay on his own. He didn’t want to be pressured to move in with Gideon.

  Pushing those feelings aside, he made a mental checklist of what he needed to do. The biggest of which would be to start researching insurance companies and plans. He had a lot to do and he’d push himself to do quite a bit of it, after he got home and rested. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he had another headache brewing and needed to be in a dark, quiet place with some acetaminophen before he could take on any other tasks.

  SEBASTIAN WAS IN THE SHOWER, so when the bell rang, Gideon was happy he’d timed everything right. He’d met with Killian several days prior to make sure everything was set and that he’d made a good decision. He couldn’t be happier with Killian’s pick and hoped he hadn’t overstepped. The last thing he wanted was for Sebastian to be insulted or angered by his gift.

  He’d already made sure everything Sebastian would need was already set up at his apartment and that he had double of everything at his place as well. He buzzed Killian up and chatted with him about the beautiful golden retriever sitting calmly by his side. When they’d exhausted that subject, Gideon was about to ask him about his history with Custos when Killian broke eye contact and glanced down at the floor, scuffing his feet, suddenly nervous, his voice quiet when he said, “So, Zavier told me about Catharsis.”

  Huh, interesting.

  Killian was a few scant inches shorter than his own six foot five and built along the same muscular lines. He’d met plenty of sizeable submissives in his day. But it was the shyness of his tone that surprised Gideon. Killian wasn’t a young man to be embarrassed by the topic, but there was an air of wonder and newness to him, like he was afraid to ask about the club. But, if his instincts were right, there was also a wounded boy inside the strong man. He’d gone from confident Custos guardian and dog trainer to timid and submissive in seconds.

  His tone was gentle when he handed him one of his business cards and replied, “Are you interested in a tour? I can arrange one for you with either a Dom or a sub.”

  Killian ducked his head again, rubbing the back of his neck with his big palm. When he glanced back up, Gideon was again taken aback by the timidity. “I… Yeah, I think I’d like that. Thank you, Sir.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll put someone in touch with you to schedule it, but feel free to contact me with any questions.”

  “Thank you.” Killian tucked the card in his pocket and stood a bit taller.

  He’d have to have Khaleo give him a call and give Roarke a heads-up that he’d like Killian to receive the full submissive training—or if his instincts were wrong, the full Dominant training—for free for so generously helping him find the perfect service dog for Sebastian. When they’d spoken of payment, Killian had refused, only accepting payment for the dog itself.

  Just as he was about to mention that to Killian, Sebastian made his way out of their bedroom, pulling a sweatshirt over his head and walking towards the kitchen, half blinded by the shirt. He opened the freezer, talking to Gideon and still unaware they had company. Not paying attention, he took some grapes out and popped a few in his mouth as he turned around, his eyes popping wide when he realized they weren’t alone.

  Gideon watched as discomfort at a stranger being in his space registered quickly on Sebastian’s face, making him take a step back. Gideon then watched him mentally square his shoulders, set the grapes down, and approach with much more confidence than Gideon knew he felt. He loved his boy more every day, especially when he proved how brave he was. His boy was strong when Gideon knew he felt weak.

  He walked around the bar, approaching them, a hand held out to shake Killian’s, greeting him warmly. “Hello, I’m Sebastian.” When he could see around Gideon, he looked down and gasped. “Oh! Who’s this beauty?”

  Gideon watched as he pulled his hand from Killian’s before he could even respond in kind with his name, and was about to touch the dog when he pulled back and glanced back up at Gideon, as if remembering his place. He stood again, a sheepish look on his face as he glanced back at Killian. “I’m sorry. That was rude. I didn’t even get your name.” He gave Killian an embarrassed grin. “Your dog is so beautiful, I got distracted.”

  The flush on his boy’s face made him want to toss him over his shoulder and take him to the bedroom to redden his ass to match before fucking him into the mattress. He cleared his throat, knowing that would have to wait and introduced the man. “This is Killian, he’s a dog trainer and a guardian at Custos. This is Lola.”

  Confusion set in but Sebastian masked it quickly. “Oh. Well it’s nice to meet you, Killian. Lola is gorgeous. May I pet her?”

  Killian looked about to say something but looked to Gideon to see if he should. Gideon shook his head quickly and Killian nodded imperceptibly. He looked back to Lola and bent down beside her. Her soulful eyes looked at him adoringly and her body straightened when he said, “Lola, this is Sebastian.”

  Lola’s tail wagged, the name obviously familiar. She stood and Killian gave her a hand gesture and she beelined it to Sebastian, who’d gotten down on his haunches. Gideon grinned at Sebastian as he petted Lola, speaking sweetly to her, having a whole conversation with her about how beautiful she was and how well behaved and sweet. When Sebastian sat down and crossed his legs, Lola practically collapsed in his lap, which made Sebastian laugh and continue to praise and pet the gorgeous dog.

  Gideon kneeled beside Sebastian and his breath caught in his throat at the love Sebastian already felt for the dog. He hoped he didn’t lose that look of pure happiness when he learned what he’d done. He put his hand on the back of Sebastian’s neck, squeezing to get his attention. Gideon knew the only reason he didn’t present in a kneeling position for Gideon was because the dog was in his lap. His back straightened though and he gave his full attention to his Dom.

  Lola, sensing the new emotions coming from Sebastian pulled herself out of Sebastian’s lap and sat in front of him, patiently waiting for instruction. Just like Gideon thought he would, his boy kneeled and presented, hands on his knees, Gideon’s hand still on the back of his neck. Gideon reached out to put his other on Lola’s head, scratching her behind the ears. She sidled up to them both, wanting to be closer.

  “Lola’s yours.”

  Sebastian’s mouth gaped comically. He looked from Killian to Lola to Gideon and back again. “What?”

  “She’s yours. I had Killian pick her out for you.” Gideon cleared his throat, suddenly nervous. “She’s a service dog. She’s trained to detect seizure activity and give you warnings so that you won’t get hurt if and when it happens. Killian picked her out from the best epilepsy dog training facility in the US. He trained her to be a guard dog as well. She’s calm, good with strangers, and can accompany you most anywhere.”

  Still dumbfounded, Sebastian only repeated, “What?”

  Killian squatted near them and spoke in a calming voice that Gideon realized did the trick to calm both Lola and Sebastian. “I’d like to let her get acclimated to you tonight. I know it’s your last night here at Gideon’s before you move b
ack to your place. I find that it’s best for there to be a ‘getting to know you’ stage before the owner training. I can come by tomorrow, to your new place, and we can go through your training so you know what to do and how to interact with her. She’s just a big mushy sweetheart, really. I hope she’s a good companion, in addition to being useful.”

  Sebastian was so serious, Gideon felt a twinge of unease. He was about to speak when Killian continued, “If you’d hold your hands out.”

  Sebastian did, albeit in a daze. Killian stood behind them and introduced them again, putting his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. “Lola, this is Sebastian. Friend.” He touched Gideon’s shoulder. “Lola, this is Gideon. Friend.”

  Sebastian and Gideon both watched as she sniffed their hands and nuzzled them both, sitting facing them, wagging her tail. Killian crouched beside Lola. “I’m going to get going. Call me or text me tomorrow when you’d like me to come over and walk you through the training. I’m available as often as you need. You won’t remember everything at first and I’ve got a pdf file of instructions I can email you as well.”

  He gave a kissy noise and Lola lifted her paw to him and he kissed it with a smile and told her how good she was and that she was home now. He stood, waved, and let himself out. Gideon and Sebastian watched him and then Sebastian turned to Gideon, still kneeling, his face inscrutable. “You got me a service guard dog.”

  “I did.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I worry about you. Because I love you. Because I can’t be with you all the time and we don’t know if you’ll still be plagued by these seizures. I don’t want you to get hurt. And, because you’re bound and determined to move out. I want to know you’re safe and have help.”

  “In the form of a dog.”

  Gideon shrugged, knowing he’d find out the next day that Gideon had Custos install a security system as well. And that didn’t even take into account the new car he’d gotten him. Fuck, he’d be piss—