Saving Sebastian: A Catharsis Novel (Custos Securities Series Book 3)

by Luna, David

  “Yes. Please, come over. Plan to stay the weekend.”

  “I don’t know. I just… I think we need to talk first, Gideon. I’m not sure this is going to work out. I’m scared still and I need you to talk to me.”

  Those words put a hitch in his euphoria, but they didn’t change his mind about believing things would be all right between them. He’d make sure Sebastian wasn’t afraid of him, could fully trust him, and still loved him, whatever it took. He’d been sure, not too long ago, that Sebastian would be better without him. He’d been wrong. You’re never better off without your soulmate and that’s what he fully believed they were.

  “I know, Bastian. Believe me, I do. But we need time together. I know you probably work on Saturday…”

  “I don’t.”

  “No? I thought you’d have clients at the studio.”

  Sebastian cleared his throat. “Um, no. I gave myself a weekend off. We can talk about it tomorrow night.”

  Suddenly, tomorrow night wasn’t soon enough and he took a chance that Sebastian was feeling the same. “Baby?”

  “Yeah?” Gideon heard the emotional quiver in his voice.

  “Can I come see you? Right now?”

  “It… It’s late, Sir.”

  “I know. But it’s been eighteen days since I got your text saying you needed time.” He took a deep breath and admitted in a whisper, “Goddamn, it’s felt like a lifetime without you.”

  There was a long silence. Gideon thought he’d gone too far, until Sebastian finally replied, quietly, “Eighteen days is very specific.”

  “I’ve been keeping track. I just need to see your face. Please. I won’t stay longer than five minutes, if you don’t want me to. I just…”

  “All right,” was whispered, so softly he barely heard it. And, suddenly he couldn’t wait to touch his boy, to hug him, if he allowed it.

  “Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

  They hung up and he was jogging down the building’s inner stairwell in less than a minute, an idea forming in his head. When he got in the car and started driving, he turned on the Bluetooth and made a call. When it rang and rang and rang, he was worried he’d missed her, but when Rowan answered the phone, out of breath, he grinned and asked, “What’s got you so winded?”

  “Oh, shut up, Gideon! I was downstairs getting ice cream, if you must know. What do you want? It’s late.”

  “I fucked up.”

  This perked her right up. “Do tell!”

  He sighed and explained, “It’s a long story, but I messed things up with Sebastian. It’s been eighteen days and I haven’t seen him. He finally called and I’m headed to his place now. I want flowers but don’t want shitty grocery store flowers. You always have beautiful flowers in your kitchen, from your garden. Can I have them?”

  “They’re like four days old, kinda wilty.”

  “Uh, can you maybe go pick some new ones?”

  “Go outside, in the dark, and pick flowers?”

  “Come on, Ro! Please? I’ll owe you, big!”

  She growled, “Ugh, FINE! But only because I love Sebastian.”

  “I’ll take it. Thank you!”

  He hung up and then thought of something else. Grinning he called right back.

  “Oh my god! What do you want?!”

  “Chocolate milk.”

  “What?!”

  “Can you make some chocolate milk and put it in one of your plastic bottles? The chocolatyer, the better.”

  “You’re a big pain in my ass. And chocolatyer isn’t even a word!”

  Gideon laughed, realizing she was right. “Yeah, yeah. Just make it extra chocolaty, okay? It’s for Sebastian!”

  “You know I’ll do it, for him. But, you’ll owe me. I mean it!”

  “Can you run it out to my car? Please, Ro? There’s never parking on your street.”

  “I’m in my pajamas, you moron!”

  “I’ll buy you anything you want. No! I’ll buy two things you want. Doesn’t matter how expensive. You tell me the things you want, I’ll buy them. A trip to Paris. A diamond tennis bracelet. Anything!”

  “Anything?”

  “Anything.”

  “Deal.”

  “I’ll be there in less than ten minutes.”

  “Then stop talking to me so I can get this shit together.”

  “Love you!”

  “Yeah, yeah. Be ready to pay up, big.”

  She hung up and he laughed. He was just glad she lived on the way to Sebastian’s place. Not that he wouldn’t have gone out of his way, but he didn’t want to delay getting to him any longer than necessary. When he pulled up to the front of her house, nine minutes later, he had to double park and put on his hazards. She must have been watching because she came running out, hands full.

  When she got to the passenger side, he leaned over and opened the door. She pulled it open the rest of the way and lay the flowers, wrapped beautifully in tissue paper—god, she was the best—on the seat and handed him the huge water bottle full of chocolate milk. He grinned and she grinned right back.

  “Anything?” she asked.

  “Anything,” he replied.

  She smirked and wished him luck as she shut the door. One minute later he got a call from her on the Bluetooth.

  “I want a Lite Brite!”

  He snorted. “You can’t be serious! They’re thirty years old!”

  “You broke mine when you plugged it into the wall in the kitchen.”

  “I didn’t break it! Finnegan did! I got it out for you when I was babysitting. He tripped on the cord and the thing fell off the table and broke.”

  “It wouldn’t have been there if you’d put it where I usually played with it in the family room! Of course, someone’s gonna trip on it when you have the cord hanging from the wall to the table!”

  He shook his head, incredulous. God, he loved her. He offered her a trip to Paris and diamonds. She wanted a fucking Lite Brite. “Fine, Squirt! What else?”

  “Well, now that you mention breaking things. I want a Makit & Bakit Oven!”

  “You… What? No! You’ve got to be kidding me!”

  “You said anything! You dumped like twenty packets of Pop Rocks on one of the trays. You wanted to see if they’d heat up and explode. Pop Rocks got on the heating element somehow and it nearly caught on fire! It never heated my ornaments after that!”

  The fact that she was still so angry at him had him laughing his ass off. He was wiping his eyes when he finally got out, “A Lite Brite and a Makit & Bakit Oven? That’s what you want?”

  Satisfaction in her voice, she answered, “That’s what I want. And they better be vintage and in mint condition.”

  “You’re crazy, but okay. I’ll start my search for them soon. I love you, Ro. Thanks for the help.”

  “You’re welcome. You better grovel really well. If you don’t fix things with Sebastian, I’ll trade you in for him.”

  “And I wouldn’t blame you a bit. Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  He ended the call just as he parked near Sebastian’s place. He was nervous. Suddenly wondering what he’d say, how Sebastian would react. Would he let him touch him? God, he needed to touch him. He went up the elevator and knocked on Sebastian’s door before he could over think it.

  When his beautiful boy opened the door, he could do nothing but stare. It seemed Sebastian felt the same way because neither of them did anything but look at the other for what seemed like forever. The only thing that broke their gazes was the growling of Lola in the background. And just like that, the magic was broken, both knowing why she was doing it. The last time she’d seen Gideon, in her eyes, he’d been threatening her charge. His shoulders sagged when Sebastian took a deep breath and called her over, hushing her.

  He repeated what Killian had said, petting her. “Lola, Gideon is a friend. Friend.”

  He heard her whine and she looked up at Sebastian to confirm what she was hearing. Sebastian repeated it and Gideon held out his
hand until she sniffed it, whined again, and moved closer to him. He knelt down and let her smell him some more. Eventually she licked him and then moved closer and he was petting her. Her acceptance humbled him and he took a deep breath and gazed up at Sebastian who was watching them, a sad smile on his face.

  He stood again, grabbing the chocolate milk and flowers from the floor by the door and smiled tentatively. “Hi.”

  Handing him the flowers Sebastian melted a little and sniffed them. Gideon handed him the milk. “And your favorite.”

  Sebastian held the bottle of chocolate milk in his hand, a laugh escaping. When Sebastian turned to look up to him, to thank him, his heart melted. God, he’d do anything to get his boy back. Sebastian welcomed him inside, went and put the flowers in a vase and poured some of the chocolate milk in a glass and drank it down.

  “Do you want anything to drink?”

  “No, baby. I’m fine.”

  He watched closely and felt some of his tension ebb when he saw Sebastian’s small smile at the endearment. Sebastian asked him to sit down and they sat facing each other on the sofa, not touching. It was killing him, not tugging him close to hold him.

  “How has it been, getting settled in?”

  Sebastian looked around and shrugged. “Fine, I guess. Just been busy at work.” He looked down, fidgeted, glanced back up. “I… Um, I gave my notice. Tomorrow is my last day.”

  Happiness flooded him and it was so goddamn hard not to scoop Sebastian up and hug him. He reached over, touched his boy’s hand and gave him a wide smile. “I’m so happy for you, Bastian. When did you do that?”

  Sebastian blushed and looked away. “Before I left your place.”

  That hit him square in the chest and knocked him back a pace. He spoke as gently as he could. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Picking at the seam of his jeans he shrugged. “I thought you might have used it to try to keep me from moving back here. I wanted to wait until I’d moved back to share it with you. I was… I was coming to tell you…that morning.”

  Gideon let out the breath he’d been holding in a whoosh and nodded. He could see where Sebastian would want to wait, but he still felt shitty about it, especially since he’d ruined the moment with his monumental fuckup. “I’m sorry, Bastian. You’ll never know how much. I had always planned on telling you as much as I could, eventually. I hope you’ll believe that. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, if I’m able to. You can ask me anything.”

  Sebastian nodded. “Can we talk about it this weekend? I’m too tired to start this conversation so late.”

  Ecstatic his boy was contemplating a weekend with him, he couldn’t keep the smile from his face when he said, “Yeah. Of course.”

  “Can I ask you one thing?”

  “Anything.”

  “Are you still doing that type of work? ’Cause, I don’t think I can—”

  “No. Baby, no. It was… God. It’s a lot to explain, like you said. But the answer is no. I promise you.”

  “All right. Can I still come over tomorrow after work?”

  “Of course. Please. Anytime you want.”

  Sebastian nodded and then looked down at his lap. Gideon knew it was time to go, but he couldn’t leave until he at least asked his boy for what he needed most. Taking a deep breath, he touched a finger to the back of Sebastian’s hand, making him look up. “I know you’re tired and I’ve already been here longer than the five minutes I promised. Can I hug you before I go?”

  He watched indecision war on Sebastian’s face and it killed him. But then he watched as his boy’s shoulders relaxed, he smiled a tiny smile, bit his lower lip, and nodded. Gideon smiled in return, scooting forward until their knees were touching. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms gently around Sebastian’s shoulders, tightening them when he heard his contented sigh. Sebastian’s grip tightened and a choked, “Sir,” escaped.

  Gideon tightened his grip and suddenly his boy had climbed in his lap, hugging him even tighter. He lowered a hand to cup his boy’s ass and pull him in closer, and murmured, “I’ve missed you so much, boy. So much.”

  Sebastian didn’t respond, but he nodded into the side of his neck and they held on tight, Gideon rocking them gently, his boy’s still too small body snug tight against him. He didn’t know how long he held him, it felt like forever, and only a couple seconds, all at once. He didn’t want to, but he knew he needed to let him go.

  Rubbing both hands gently up and down Sebastian’s back, he turned his head and kissed Sebastian’s temple, whispering, “I love you, boy. Never forget that. I’m so sorry I scared you. So sorry I disappointed you. I’ll fix it, Bastian. That’s a promise.”

  Sebastian didn’t respond, but nodded into his neck and gripped him still tighter until his arms shook. Goddamn, his boy was killing him. Knowing he needed to be the strong one, he rubbed his back again and then slid his hands up and down Sebastian’s arms, gently tugging them until Sebastian pulled away, still on his lap, looking down.

  Gideon tipped his chin up and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He stood, lifting Sebastian with him and placing him gently on the floor, clasping his hand in his and walking them to Sebastian’s door. He turned before he opened it and kissed Sebastian’s head, breathing in the smell of his shampoo. He spoke, his lips still on his boy’s short hair. “Come over anytime tomorrow.”

  His boy nodded and he opened the door, stepping out. Sebastian looked up, and when he did, Gideon said, “Lock your door after me and set the alarm. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Sebastian smiled and nodded. “Yes, Sir. See you tomorrow.”

  It turned out Sebastian’s last day was more perfunctory than anything, because he showed up just after one in the afternoon. Gideon had gone upstairs from the club to grab some lunch and was just about to eat when he heard the ding of the elevator. He set his sandwich down and walked towards the doors as they slid open. He had to grin when he saw Slap and Tickle in Sebastian’s arms, a bag over his shoulder, and Lola’s tongue lolling out of her mouth.

  He gave the dog a rub on the head, pulled the kittens out of Sebastian’s arms, kissing them and setting them on the floor, and then pulled the bag from over Sebastian’s shoulder, hooking it on his own. He leaned in, tipped Sebastian’s chin up and saw a bit of wariness still in his eyes, yet, but also hopefulness, which made up his mind for him. He leaned the last scant inches and kissed him softly, chastely on his lips.

  They gazed at each other and Gideon asked, “Are you hungry?”

  Sebastian shook his head. “No. They had a little going away party for me that included lunch.”

  Gideon tilted his head. “You gonna miss it?”

  “In some ways. I didn’t love the job but I liked it, and the people there were always kind.”

  “Sit down with me, while I eat lunch. Let me just put your bag in our room.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  When he came back, he noticed Sebastian had grabbed himself a glass of water. It was a small thing, but it made Gideon happy he’d felt at home enough to take that simple step. He sat down and made quick work of his lunch and pulled Sebastian up to lead him to the couch. Again, they sat facing each other and Sebastian began to fidget nervously.

  “I’m going to just tell you what I can, about my past. If you have questions, you can cut in and let me know, all right?”

  Sebastian nodded and he began by telling him about his career in the military, how he’d loved being a SEAL and thought he’d stay in until he just couldn’t physically do it any longer. He talked to him about his contract with his first submissive, Mason Alexander, a Naval Intelligence Specialist. How they’d been having a rough time and finally he’d ended it when Mason kept asking for more than Gideon had in him to give at the time.

  Mason had started seeing Alan Lewis. Alan worked closely with the military as an IED and Insurgent Network Analyst for a science and technology company. Because they specialized in intelligence, defense, and homeland security, Mas
on and several SEAL teams—including his own—had worked closely with Alan. Not only worked with him, but trusted him.

  Alan had been using Mason to gather information and when Mason had found out, he’d been taken, tortured for more information, and killed. While that was going on, Gideon had been pulled away from his team to provide tactical analysis in an intelligence briefing regarding intel gathered from the Germans.

  While he was away his team had received last-minute orders to be pulled from their counterinsurgency mission in order to guard a munitions bunker that was a possible hideout for insurgent militants selling guns to a known terrorist group. As soon as Gideon had been pulled from his team, Alan had provided information to the base commander to reassign his men and ultimately send them to their deaths in a well-planned ambush.

  Upon his return, Gideon learned of his team’s new assignment. He didn’t trust the intel, or the timing. He left immediately to intercept his men, but he was too late. Arriving in time to see Alan use a detonator to set off the explosions that killed his men, before disappearing into a building that exploded moments later.

  It came to light that Alan’s company had been selling military weapons to the highest bidder, the information he’d stolen from Mason proved to be extremely lucrative for Alan and the man giving him orders. Alan’s team had successfully stolen the munitions a few days before his team had arrived. The orders were to infiltrate the bunker and document the inventory, and await for transport out.

  Gideon’s men had been brought there to be killed in an effort to prevent the military’s efforts—and his team’s efforts specifically—to keep munitions out of enemy hands. So many explosions were set that day it was made to look like the munitions were destroyed along with his men. His commander said the search was underway for Alan’s team and the munitions.

  “I’d been assured that Alan was dead by my superiors. My promises to my men’s families to not make their deaths be in vain, to find out what had happened, being so much bullshit when the man responsible was dead already. I still wear my military ID tags, just as my dad and brother do. To honor the men that died on my watch.”