Extra! Extra! Dead All About It (An Avery Shaw Mystery Book 12)

by Amanda M. Lee

  “Seriously, I have no idea what I did for entertainment before I hooked up with you,” Eliot grumbled. “As for your problem, Marvin, I suggest not having sex with her if you’re legitimately worried that she’ll end up pregnant.”

  “But … then I won’t be able to have sex.” Marvin let loose with a hangdog expression. “There has to be something else I can do.”

  “I’m so done with this conversation.” Eliot flicked my ear. “I thought we were having a romantic night together.”

  “We are. Marvin is only having dinner with us. He’s not coming home with us.”

  “I could,” Marvin offered. “You guys have a pool, after all.”

  “I think you should go home and have sex with your neighbor,” Eliot countered. “You’re most certainly not coming home with us.”

  Marvin lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “You were right about him being in a bad mood. Do you know what you could do to make him happy?”

  “I’m betting it has to do with sex,” I said dryly.

  “It does. You might want to put out once in a while.”

  “Oh, geez.” Eliot pinched the bridge of his nose. “This day is never ending.”

  I patted his knee under the table. “You’ll survive. I plan to get out the ice cream and video games when we get home. I’m sure that will perk you up.”

  “Only because you get buzzed from both and you’re likely to maul me.”

  “So it’s fun for both of us.”

  Despite his weariness, Eliot smiled. “I could probably be convinced to do both of those things. I just want to put this day behind me.”

  Something about his tone tipped me that his day was bad. “What happened? Did Fawn fall out of her top and try to seduce you? By the way, that’s totally something she would do.”

  “No, but I did have another talk with her. She can’t keep picking fights with you.”

  “Because I’ll win?”

  “That and I don’t like the sound of squabbling in my shop. It reminds me of chickens squawking.”

  “I’ll pretend I only heard the part about me winning.”

  “You generally do.” Eliot rested the side of his head against my temple. “Jake called again, by the way. He heard you’re on to something and wants to know where you got the information on Brucker. I told him I didn’t know, but I honestly wanted to roll over on your buddy Andre.”

  “That’s a mistake. If you do that I won’t tell you where I go or who I talk to. That’ll make babysitting me difficult.”

  “That’s the only reason I kept the information to myself.” Eliot reclined in his seat. “I don’t want you going back to that side of town without me.”

  “Sure. Okay.” I kept my eyes on my menu. “They have seafood alfredo. I’m totally getting that.”

  “I’m serious,” Eliot pressed.

  “I know you are, but there’s not much I can do about it. We both know I’m going back there if I think Andre can give me information.”

  “Avery … .”

  “Eliot.”

  Neither one of us got a chance to push things into a full-blown fight because a woman – one I recognized – planted herself at the end of the table and fixed me with an amused look.

  “Avery Shaw, as I live and breathe. I wasn’t sure you were still alive after all the food you put away at our last meeting. I thought maybe you’d succumbed to a sugar coma.”

  Whatever irritation I felt moments before disappeared as I graced Lauren Strode with the friendliest smile in my arsenal. “I know you won’t believe this, but I was just thinking about you.”

  “Me, too,” Marvin intoned, a dreamy look crossing his features as he looked Lauren up and down. “Where have you been all my life?”

  I shot him a warning look. “She’s out of your league.”

  “You don’t know that,” Marvin argued. “Some women like men like me.”

  “Who?” Eliot challenged.

  Marvin ignored me. “I know a lot of women who would love to share in the Marvin magic.”

  “Oh, I can’t believe you invited him on our date,” Eliot complained.

  I pretended I didn’t hear him and fixed my full attention on Lauren. “Do you want to join us?”

  “I already ate.” Lauren waved vaguely toward the front door and I was happy to find another woman standing there rather than a man. That meant she wasn’t on a date. “I met a friend and we had food and drinks. Now we’re going to a movie.”

  “That sounds fun.”

  Lauren shifted her expectant eyes to Eliot. “You look familiar.”

  I watched for signs that she was sexually attracted to my boyfriend, but she merely seemed curious. That was another reason I knew I was going to like her. “This is Eliot Kane.”

  “Ah, right.” Lauren smiled as she shook Eliot’s extended hand. “I heard a lot about you the day I met Avery, and I saw you around the aquarium while I was working there. I knew I recognized you.”

  “I’ve heard a lot about you,” Eliot said. “Avery is a big fan. She says you like all the right movies and have unlimited snark at your disposal.”

  “Oh, she’s sweet.”

  Eliot made a face. “Is that sarcasm? I can’t quite tell.”

  “It’s sarcasm,” I supplied. “I still have someone I want to fix you up with, Lauren. I’m working hard on getting him to meet you.”

  “Yeah, you’ve mentioned this potential date before.” Lauren twisted her features into something unrecognizable. “No offense, but I’m not sure I trust you to pick the proper person for me to date.”

  I gestured toward Eliot. “Hey, I have good taste. Don’t tell me you don’t think he’s pretty.”

  Lauren chuckled as Eliot shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “He’s definitely handsome. He also seems interested in you and only you.”

  “Yeah, I’m trying to break him of that because I need a wingman,” Marvin lamented.

  I kicked him under the table, causing him to yelp. “Focus on your menu,” I ordered before turning a more pleasant smile to Lauren. “We should get together for lunch one day. I have some things I want to talk to you about.”

  “I … well … that sounds okay.”

  Eliot pulled away from me and leaned closer to Lauren. “You seem like a nice woman so I’m going to give you a tip. You’re probably going to want to start running now. Avery is diabolical when she decides she wants something, and you’re a big part of what she wants next.”

  Lauren looked confused rather than flattered. “Oh, well, what the hell. We can have lunch. I’ll just bring my Taser and take her down if she gets out of hand.”

  “That’s probably a good idea,” Eliot said, smirking. “Just remember that she’s like a horror movie villain. It takes a direct hit – and sometimes lightning – to knock her out.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  I ATE ENOUGH FOR THREE people and stopped in front of the restaurant to admonish Marvin one more time before heading home.

  “Remember, she’s not for you. I have plans for her. If she sleeps with you she’ll never trust my judgment in men again.”

  Marvin made a hilarious face. “I’m good in bed. I watch porn for inspiration. Why don’t you believe me?”

  “That doesn’t matter.” I extended a warning finger. “You stay away or I’ll make you cry.”

  “Sadly, I know you mean that.” Marvin offered a wave before disappearing around the corner. I watched him go with a mixture of amusement and trepidation.

  “He won’t let it go, will he?” Eliot asked, linking his fingers with mine.

  I shook my head. “No. That’s not how he does things. He’ll get totally obsessed and then cry when she turns him down.”

  “At least she won’t try to seduce him into paying child support.”

  “She’s definitely too smart for that.”

  We lapsed into silence, content to enjoy each other’s company without words. I knew Eliot would start pressuring me again abou
t my visit to Andre, but I was hoping to hold him off until we got home … and I could distract him with ice cream and potential nudity. He might be the smartest man I knew, but he was still a man.

  Eliot, of course, knew me well enough to figure out my plan before I could enact it. “So, about Andre … .”

  “Hey, look at this.” I released Eliot’s hand and darted toward a bush, leaning over so I could study the stack of paper wedged underneath. “I think someone lost something.”

  Eliot growled. “I want to talk to you about Andre.”

  “And I need to grab this stuff to see if I can get it to its rightful owner.” I grabbed the stack and held it to my chest, forcing a smile as I turned to face Eliot. “We should really get going if we want that ice cream and video games.”

  “I’m not done talking,” Eliot pressed. “Your friendship with Andre worries me. I’m not going to simply pretend otherwise because you distract me with ice cream.”

  “Did I mention I was thinking of playing the video games naked?”

  Eliot sighed as he rubbed his forehead. “Avery, I love you. I’m not trying to come down on you. I’m not even saying you can’t hit Andre up for information.”

  “What are you saying?” I challenged as I shoved the stack of papers into my purse, making a mental note to look at them later in case they were important … or led to a story. “I don’t need you telling me how to do my job.”

  “Trust me. The last thing I want to do is tell you how to do your job. I also don’t want you getting hurt. There has to be a happy balance that both of us can live with.”

  I licked my lips as I debated how to proceed. “Do you really think Andre would hurt me? He’s had plenty of chances, but never once as much as lifted a hand to me. He thinks I’m funny.”

  “He does, and I really don’t think he’ll hurt you,” Eliot said. “That doesn’t mean the people who want to hurt Andre won’t accidentally hurt you. That doesn’t mean those guys Andre surrounds himself with won’t hurt you if he’s not around. That is not the sort of company you should keep.”

  “Hey, no matter how obnoxious they are they’re better than Duncan … and Tad … and Dick Aiken.”

  Eliot exhaled heavily and I could tell he was trying to maintain his cool. “I don’t want you hurt. I don’t think that’s an unbearable request.”

  I took pity on him. “I’ll be careful. I promise.”

  “Just … tell me if you’re going to see him. That’s all I ask.”

  “Why would I do that? So you can follow me, watch, and make sure I’m not hurt?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, at least you’re honest about it.” I rubbed the back of my neck as I considered the offer. “Do you promise to stay in your car and not harsh my vibe when I’m questioning Andre?”

  Eliot’s lips curved. “Yes.”

  “Fine. I will call you before I visit Andre. I can’t do more than that, though.”

  “I know.” Eliot leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth. “Now, come on. Let’s go home and eat ice cream naked.”

  “Good idea.” I fell into step next to him. “We can also talk about Lauren and how she’s perfect for Jake.”

  “Why can’t you let that go?”

  “Because I don’t want to.”

  “Fine. She’s nice. Jake won’t like her on principle. He won’t let you pick out a girlfriend for him.”

  “We’ll just see about that.”

  9 Nine

  I woke with my hand on Eliot’s chest – at least I wasn’t wrapped around him in an effort to suffocate him this time – and his eyes steady on me as I struggled to focus.

  “What … ?” I had no train of thought, so I let the question die while rubbing my cheek.

  “You’re cute when you sleep,” Eliot said after a beat. “I think it’s the only time you’re not thinking about something evil.”

  “Is that supposed to be a dig?”

  “No. I like you when you’re sweet and innocent – although those times are rare – and also when you’re on a mission to smite your enemies. I’m weird that way.”

  “Which do you prefer more?”

  Eliot opened his mouth to answer but obviously thought better of it and instead shrugged and grabbed my hand, making a big show of studying my fingertips rather than risk getting into a fight. I decided to take pity on him and change the subject. Er, well, kind of.

  “I see I didn’t climb on top of you and weigh you down last night. That must be a relief.”

  “I like it when you climb on top of me.”

  “Even when there’s no chance of a happy ending?”

  Eliot cocked an eyebrow. “There’s always a chance for a happy ending … and I happen to think we’re already enjoying our happy ending.”

  I balked. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Actually it is. You simply didn’t know it.”

  I blew out a heavy sigh. “I never knew you were one for heavy conversations in the morning. It’s an interesting discovery now that we’re living together.”

  Eliot snickered, genuinely amused. “Yes, well, you must bring it out in me. That’s the magic of Avery Shaw.”

  “The magic of Avery Shaw is that she can make grown men cry with merely a glance,” I corrected.

  “You have many different forms of magic.”

  I stared at him for a long beat. “What’s with you? You seem almost … schmaltzy, I guess would be the right word … when you look at me lately.”

  Eliot shrugged, noncommittal. “I’m not sure what’s up with me. I was thinking after you left my shop yesterday, we haven’t had a big fight – one of those ones where we go at least twenty-four hours without speaking – for more than six months.”

  I racked my brain. That couldn’t be true. I fought with everyone. It’s part of my genetic makeup. Still, when he mentioned it, I realized he was right. “I guess we should get on that, huh?”

  “I don’t care how much you deflect because you’re uncomfortable. I was simply thinking how it was interesting.”

  “I guess it is.” I rubbed my chin. “Do you want to fight?”

  “Not particularly. We still have our little tiffs – which I’m fine with – but I don’t like the big ones.”

  “We kind of had a big one when I broke into Cara’s house and stole those files a few weeks ago,” I reminded him.

  “That wasn’t a relationship fight. That was a fight about your safety and how I didn’t want you going to jail. That was all about love, not hate.”

  Good point. “Are you saying all this to make me soft and gooey before picking another fight about Andre?”

  “No. We’ve already talked about Andre and come to an agreement. The only way we’ll fight is if you break the agreement.”

  “I won’t break the agreement.”

  “I know.” Eliot gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before rolling out of bed. “I thought I’d make pancakes for breakfast. How does that sound?”

  He was much better than me on the domestic front, especially when it came to cooking, but I was doing my best to navigate potential minefields where our relationship was concerned. “We’re okay, right?”

  The question caught Eliot off guard, his eyes unreadable when they locked with mine. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. You seem weird, contemplative or something. I guess I can’t help being a little worried.”

  “You have nothing to be worried about.” He said the words with conviction and yet I remained unconvinced.

  “Okay. If something is bothering you, though, I wish you’d tell me.”

  “Fine. I am bothered by your insistence on setting Jake up with that Lauren woman.”

  “Yeah, I’m not giving in on that. Pick something else to be bothered by.”

  “No more three-person dates with Marvin.”

  I snorted. “That was hardly a date.”

  “It was still painful.”

  “Fine
. I’ll only hang out with Marvin when you’re not around.”

  “Good.” Eliot waited a beat before continuing. “Be careful on this one.”

  His somber tone threw me for a loop and I knit my eyebrows. “I’m always careful.”

  “You’re not even close to careful. Something about this one makes me uneasy. I can’t put my finger on it.”

  “Because you think Tad is a murderer?”

  “Because … because you’re knee-deep in this election and I think things are going to get worse before they get better,” Eliot clarified. “I don’t want to change you, because I fell in love with who you are. But that doesn’t stop me from being afraid for you.”

  “You don’t have to be afraid for me. I know what I’m doing.”

  “I believe fear comes with the territory when hearts are involved. Just … be careful.”

  “I hate to belabor an obvious point, but I’m always careful.”

  “Yeah, you need to be way more careful than that. If you’re not, I’ll start following you from interview to interview and acting as your personal bodyguard.”

  That was an interesting threat. “I know you meant for that to dissuade me from being an idiot, but all that does is embolden me. I can pick three times the fights if you’ll be there to save me.”

  Eliot extended a warning finger. “Take care. I mean it.”

  I thought about pushing things further, but merely sighed. “I will be careful, for your sake if not my own. I promise.”

  “Good. Now, how about we shower together to conserve water and then I’ll stuff your mouth with so many pancakes you might not be able to speak for a full hour?”

  “What fun is that?”

  “It’s fun for me.”

  “Fine … but it’s going to take a lot of pancakes.”

  “Something tells me I’m up for the challenge.”

  “BY THE WAY, I bought you a gift yesterday.”

  Eliot looked adorable standing behind the counter with a spatula in his hand, so it took me a moment to register his words. “You bought me something?” That didn’t sound right. “I thought you were annoyed with me for most of the afternoon.”

  “I was, but when I saw this particular gift I knew you needed to have it.” Eliot’s smirk was mischievous. “I was going to put it away until I was happy with you again, but I think the shower took care of that.”