Forgiveness For My Mate: Sassy Ever After (Sanctuary for My Mate Book 1)

by Terri A. Wilson

  If she went with Hank, he may be talking her into staying longer. If she stayed longer, he’d have more time to convince her they needed to be together. It was obvious Tatum felt something for him. Surely, he hadn’t misread her. Hank could talk to her. He and Sybil had been married for a long time and he knew Connor his whole life. If Hank vouched for him, maybe she would be okay with all of this.

  As he finished the seat and arms, a sense of dread came over him. He’d never told any other woman he was a shifter. Though Tatum found out on her own, he’d planned to tell her soon. Would it have gone any better if he had told her? What would she have said? Couldn’t she see it didn’t change who he was and what she meant to him?

  He slopped on the stain over the back of the pew.

  Who did she think she was? Was she better than him? How judgmental she’d been.

  Before he knew it, stain dripped down the back of the pew and he’d carelessly picked up pieces of grass in his brush when dipping it into the can. He kicked the can and threw the brush. Stain splashed up on him, spilled all over the drop cloth, and doused the pew.

  Shit.

  He sat down on the ground and wiped the stain out of his eyes. She had every right to judge him. He scared her. Her reaction was natural. Hell, he’d probably have handled it a lot worse than she did. He smiled. That’s one of the big parts of her he loved; her heart. She was tender, loving, and giving. Everything he and his falcon needed in their life.

  Cameron looked up as he stormed by. “Dude where are you going and what happened?”

  “Don’t ask. I’ll fix the pew later, I promise.”

  Cameron sputtered several obscenities as Connor walked away, but he didn’t hear any of them. He was focused on one thing and one thing only; Tatum Jackson.

  Tatum enjoyed her time with the Carter Pack. After the initial hesitation on her part and theirs, she spent her time watching the children play and helping Noel in the kitchen. Noel wanted to make some frozen meals, so she wouldn’t have to cook once the baby came. Spending time laughing and joking with other women was not something she experienced before. When she left, her heart wanted more.

  Hank dropped her off at the main lobby, so she could eat dinner. She wasn’t used to happiness and contentment. Then she saw Connor, and everything changed.

  “Tatum, are you headed to dinner?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can I join you?”

  “I guess.”

  “Look, I just want to talk. Nothing else I promise.”

  Her heart skipped a beat when she recognized the pain and frustration in his face that she’d seen in hers this morning.

  After they sat down she barked, “What do you want to talk about?”

  He blew out a long breath and swallowed. “Right to the point, huh?”

  She furrowed her brow waiting for an answer.

  “I never meant to hurt you. If I had known you were awake, I wouldn’t have shifted so close to my place. It may be impossible for you to understand, but I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

  She started to interrupt, but he held up a finger stopping her.

  “Let me finish. I plan on doing whatever I need to do for however long I need to do it, in order to prove to you that this will be okay.”

  “Are you done?”

  “Yes,” he grumbled.

  “Fine then let me say what I want to say. You are unlike anyone I’ve met. It’s not just the-” she glanced around to see if anyone was listening “-the shifter thing, but it’s you. You make me feel like I’ve known you my whole life. I’ve told you stuff about me that I haven’t told anyone. Give me time to understand this new world.” She put her hand on his knee.

  “Um, um, okay. I wasn’t prepared for this.”

  “Huh?”

  “I assumed you were still mad at me. I have a whole speech prepared.”

  “I can hear it later. What I’d like to hear now is more about you. Tell me why you joined your brothers?”

  He sat back and told her about what it was like to go into business with them. Tatum smiled at the change in his face. He looked relaxed and lit up when he talked about his work.

  “I’d love to see us cater more to the shifter population over the next couple of years,” Connor said.

  “How would you market that? Is there like a club with a magazine and such?”

  Connor raised his eyebrow. “Really?”

  She patted his arm. “I’m just teasing. But seriously, how would you advertise?”

  At her touch, his falcon stretched his wings and came to the surface of his mind.

  Mine.

  “Word of mouth. There are still many people who don’t understand our world and would love nothing more than to hurt us because we’re different.”

  “What types of programs would you offer? How would it differ from what you do already?”

  “I’d love to bring a therapist on staff. I’ve met a lot of shifters who served in Afghanistan and other places. Traditional therapy doesn’t always work for a shifter. I also think our place would be a great spot to offer open land for running. I’m not sure how to deal with the hunting aspect, but that would be another option.”

  “You’ve put a lot of thought into this. Haven’t you?”

  “Believe it or not, I spent a lot of lonely nights when I lived in New York. I missed the connections to people like me more than anything.”

  “Are you and your family close? You’ve only told me the basics.”

  “We’re close. My brothers and I get along like regular brothers. With Caleb and Cameron being twins, and I’m the baby, they picked on me a lot. But I remember one time a bully at school decided I was his personal punching bag. It was before my first shift, so I was scrawny and a total dork. We were supposed to meet after school, but when I didn’t show, he came to my house. All his friends followed him, and it was crazy. My brothers went outside, and I don’t know what they said to him, but he left me alone after that. Of course, they came in and dog piled me for eating the last cookie.”

  “My brother and I were never close.”

  “That’s unfortunate.”

  “It’s not that big of a deal now. We haven’t seen each other since my dad’s funeral.”

  “I can’t imagine not seeing my brothers for that long.”

  “We talk over the phone for Christmas, but that’s about it. He lives in Boston. I live here. Not like it’s close enough to drive.”

  Tatum noticed they were finished with dinner. No one else sat in the dining room. “I guess we closed down the place. Too bad. I was looking forward to trying the sweet potato cheesecake.”

  “Stay here I’ll see what I can do. Being an owner has to mean something.”

  She watched him go to the kitchen. She liked talking with him. She liked having sex with him, too, but talking was good for right now. Talking was safe. She needed safe.

  He returned empty-handed. She was disappointed. “What happened? Did they kick you out?”

  “No, they wouldn’t kick me out over cheesecake. Now, they might kick me out over waffles. I can’t get enough of the waffles around here.”

  “I’ll remember that.”

  He held his hand out for her. “If you care, Mademoiselle, please join me in front of the

  fireplace. I’ve arranged for our dessert to be delivered there.”

  “Ooo, that sounds fancy.”

  He took her arm and intertwined it with his. She laid her head against his arm.

  Within minutes, the staff brought a tablecloth for the low table in front of the couch and served them cake and coffee.

  “I took a gamble and ordered coffee for you as well. I didn’t know if you drank it at night.”

  “I’m an ER doctor. I drink it all day.”

  He handed her a plate and poured some into her cup. “Cameron told me you were with Hank today.”

  “Yes, I was. It was an unexpected day for sure.”

  “Oh yeah? What
happened?”

  “Well, nothing happened necessarily. He just wanted me to meet more of his patients and he told me about his and Sybil’s shifter abilities.”

  Connor gulped his coffee. “What do you think about that?”

  “At first it was strange. He didn’t tell me until almost the end of the day. He asked me the strangest question. I couldn’t tell the difference between his shifter patients and his human ones.”

  “Is that a good or bad thing?”

  “I think it’s good. It made me stop and think about the thoughts running through my head after I found out about you.” She took a drink. “I’ve seen a whole new world in just the last two days. It’s a world I never knew existed. I have so many questions and I still don’t understand.”

  “It can be a lot to take in at once, I suppose.”

  She stared at the fire and finished her cake. She wasn’t ready to end her night with Connor but was uncomfortable with inviting him to come back to her cabin.

  “The last stop of the day was my favorite. I met the Carter Pack.”

  Connor almost tipped over his cup because he was staring at her and not paying attention to the table. “He took you there? Wow, that was a gamble.”

  “How so?”

  “The Carters don’t always take to strangers. That pack has been here longer than my family. They haven’t embraced the modern world.”

  “You’re being melodramatic. They were lovely people. I spent time with Noel and a couple of other ladies. We cooked and ate, but more than anything we laughed and had fun. My cheeks still hurt from laughing so much. Did you know she’s pregnant?”

  “No, I didn’t know that. Ash has been like a brother to me. Caleb, Cameron, and I were at their wedding.”

  “Wait. I thought shifters didn’t get married.”

  “There’s no law or requirement regarding marriage or weddings. Noel wanted one. Ash loves her so much, he gave her a wedding. It was a huge party.”

  Wednesday and Caleb walked through the front door.

  “Oh, hey you two come join us,” Tatum called. “I was just telling Connor about my day with Dr. Warner.”

  Wednesday sat between Connor and Tatum while Caleb sat in a side chair.

  “It’s good to have you here with him. He’s getting old. It’d be nice to have another doctor permanently around,” Wednesday said.

  Tatum choked on her coffee.

  “Wow, that wasn’t obvious or anything,” Connor said.

  “What?” She feigned innocence. “I think he needs someone to help.”

  “Well, funny you should bring that up. He asked me to join his practice.”

  Wednesday and Connor both said, “What?”

  “Yeah, he asked me to join him.”

  Wednesday hugged her and giggled with glee. “Please tell me you said yes.”

  “Well, I didn’t tell him anything.”

  Wednesday reached for Connor’s hand and put it in Tatum’s. “It would be perfect for you two if Tatum worked with Hank.”

  Tatum was anxious about working here. Would she be happy? This was nothing like her life back home.

  “Well,” Caleb stood and stretched, “Sounds like you have a lot to think about. I’ve got a ton of paperwork to finish. I need to excuse myself. Wednesday, why don’t you come help me?”

  “I hate paperwork. I’ll just hang out with these guys and find you later.”

  “No honey, this is special paperwork. You’re the only one who can help me.”

  “But—”

  Caleb nodded his head toward the offices.

  “Oh right. I remember you mentioned that earlier. I’ll help you and then you promised me a back rub.”

  “I did?”

  She pursed her lips. “You did. Right after I agreed to help you with that paperwork that only I can do.”

  “Whatever.”

  Connor watched them tease each other as they headed to the back offices.

  “I hope they didn’t make you uncomfortable. They meant well.”

  “I think they’re sweet. They make a cute couple. It’s hard to imagine they do what you do.”

  “You mean shift?”

  She nodded.

  “Wednesday became a shifter when Caleb claimed her. Sometimes it happens. The mate becomes like the other.”

  “Does it always happen that way?”

  “No. Sometimes there is no change. But there is always some kind of change. The bond between mates is stronger than any bond and impossible to break.”

  “Impossible?”

  “Yep. Death doesn’t even break it. Most mates don’t last without the other.”

  “You mean they kill themselves when their mate dies?”

  “Sometimes. Most of the time they don’t, but with such a strong bond severed, they don’t last long without each other.”

  Tatum put her hand on his. “That’s intense. There is no such thing as divorce in your world?”

  “It’s happened before, like in cases of abuse. But those were cases of shifters being together without truly being mated. There’s a difference. A true-bonded mate will never hurt his mate. He spends the rest of his life protecting and serving her.”

  “Are relationships always heterosexual?”

  “No. A bond isn’t formed by choice. It’s fate.”

  She rubbed his hand, and he grew hard. It took a lot of willpower to not take her on the table.

  “Fate, huh?” She paused. “Do you have to rush off somewhere? Can you walk me back to my cabin?”

  “It would be my pleasure.”

  “Oh, we’ll see about that.”

  Tatum surprised herself when she invited Connor to walk her back to the cabin and then invited him inside.

  What the hell did I just do?

  He saw her suitcase sitting by the door.

  “Are you still planning to leave? I thought you had a great day, and it seemed like you might be thinking about staying.”

  She shrugged. “I still might. I want to keep my options open. I have a life back home.”

  “Some life. It sounds like it’s stressful and fast-paced. It’s not healthy, it’s not fun, and-” he ran his fingers down the left side of her face “-it’s not even safe.”

  “That’s not fair. Do you think you can control me just because some bird inside you wants me?”

  “Bonding is not about control. Do you think I want to control you?”

  She forced out a heavy sigh. “Just because we had sex does not mean we are in a relationship.”

  “That may have just been sex to you, but, to me, it was a lot more. I want to commit to you.”

  She scoffed. “Commit? What do you know about commitment? What do you really know about me for that matter?”

  “A lot more than you think.”

  “You think so, then tell me, Birdman, what do you think you know?”

  He stepped closer to her and pointed his finger in her face. “I’ve had enough of the jokes. I am not a birdman. There is so much more to me and my falcon.”

  “Yeah?”

  “You bet. You, on the other hand, are a shallow bitch who only thinks of herself.”

  “A bitch? I guess you’re not sugar-coating anything.”

  “Why should I? You’re not the only one who didn’t live up to her parents’ expectations and you’re not the only one who made mistakes. The difference is, the rest of us move on with our lives, learn from the past, and make a better future.”

  She glared at him, started to say something, then changed her mind. She quietly opened the door. “Leave.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. Leave.”

  “I will not leave. I will say what’s on my mind and you will listen to it.”

  “If you won’t get out, then I’ll leave. Either way, one of us is walking out this door.”

  Tatum’s lip quivered.

  Don’t leave.

  He reached over her and closed the door. “Wait what happened? How did we
go from having a wonderful evening to fighting?” He took her hand and walked over to the couch.

  “Tatum, you may not believe this, but I love you. I want you to be my mate. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I understand you’re flawed. Hell, we’re all flawed. If you want me to leave, I’ll leave, but I won’t come back. Is that what you want?” He blew out a long breath.

  A single tear fell. “I don’t know what I want. Love doesn’t happen as fast as you think. How can you know?” He started to answer, but she held up her hand to stop him. “Let me guess. It’s a shifter thing. The falcon knows.”

  “My falcon has wanted to claim you since the moment he saw you, but I want you too. I am not just a falcon or just a man. I am both and it’s a world I want to share with you.”

  “I’m not who you think I am. I almost killed someone because I was buzzed?”

  “I didn’t know that. That’s who you were before. It’s not who you are now.”

  “But what if I fail you too?”

  “Who else have you failed?”

  “Do you want the whole list or just the top ten?”

  “I want all your lists. I want all of you.” He moved in closer. “Please don’t ask me to leave.”

  She leaned her head on his chest. “I don’t want you to leave. I don’t know if this will work in the long run.”

  “Let’s not worry about the long run. Let’s focus on tonight. Can you do that?”

  She nodded. Connor reached over her, shut the door, scooped her up, and carried her to the bedroom. He placed her on the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

  She pulled the covers down, took off her jacket, and kicked off her shoes. Connor returned with a tray of candles.

  “Where did you find all those candles? I never saw them.”

  “I helped open this cabin. Cameron designed it, but I saw to the decorations. They consider this the honeymoon suite. You weren’t looking in the right places.”

  The flickering ambient light highlighted his muscular shadows against the wall. Tatum stopped worrying about the hospital, her father, and even shifters. It was all about her and how good Connor could make her feel.

  He took off his shirt and laid next to her. She smelt his spicy cologne. His skin warmed against her touch. His heart raced, eclipsed by the pounding in her chest. She trailed her fingers down the stretch of hair leading to his waistband. He took hold of her shoulder and leaned in to kiss her. His tongue parted her lips and explored her mouth. Tatum reached her hand behind his head and pushed him harder against her. He tasted of happiness and peace. She wanted all of him. She wanted, no she needed him inside her.