Vampires Need Not...Apply?: An Accidentally Yours Novel (The Accidentally Yours Series)

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  Her hands, reeking of death, reached for him. He pushed himself flatter against the wall. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

  “Of course. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Her arms fell to her side, and there was a long moment of silence as they studied each other.

  What was she? Why did she wear that awful veil over her face? And why did he feel the strangest urge to touch her.

  “You shouldn’t be out alone,” she finally said. “Not on your first night.”

  “Who are y—”

  Her phone rang—the Death March?

  “Hold that thought.” She held up her index finger and then dug through her brightly colored purse to retrieve her cell.

  “I bet you’re missing someone,” she said to the other person.

  Antonio heard every word coming over the earpiece as if he himself held the device. The voice was one he recognized—the man from his dream. The one who did not want to make him a… vampire.

  The cold, hard pieces of his new reality clicked into place. He really was a vampire, which meant… everything was ruined! His plans to decipher the tablet and open the portal, to save his brother, his plans for his own freedom. Yes, he had thought he was fucked when he’d lost his sight, but now he was irrevocably screwed. There was absolutely no hope. He’d become the one thing he vowed he’d never be: a killer like his father. “You did this to me, didn’t you?” He scowled.

  The woman’s veiled head lifted, and he knew she was looking at him. Hell, it felt like she was staring right through him.

  “I’ll make sure he gets back. Bye.” She ended her call and dropped the phone in her bag. “Yes. I had Viktor turn you, but there was no other choice.”

  She’d had him turned into a monster. A vampire for fuck sake! This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be! She’d destroyed his life. Caray!

  “There was another choice!” he yelled. “Death! And trust me, that would have been better.”

  “You don’t understand—”

  “Do you have any…any idea what you’ve done? Do you? You are a demon from hell! You’ve single-handedly destroyed my life, everything that I care about! Everything, goddammit!”

  Wanting to shake her by the shoulders for what she’d done, he reached for her, but she jumped back.

  “Don’t touch me! Don’t ever touch me!” she reprimanded.

  She had said the same thing that time he’d run into her by the elevator in his building. She’d told him that he disgusted her.

  He stepped back and held up his palms. Blinding, raging fury engulfed him. He needed to get away from her before he did something he regretted.

  He turned and ran as fast as his new vampire feet could carry him.

  Chapter Catorce

  Penelope pounded and pounded and pounded until her fists were raw with blisters. Kinich simply stood there and took it. So many hours and days she’d wept and cried over losing him, over his not loving her enough to overcome his urge to drink her blood, but she hadn’t wept nearly enough. Now those bottled emotions came gushing out like an unstoppable tsunami.

  After a few minutes, she lowered her head to Kinich’s chest and released one final sob before fisting his charred white T-shirt and wiping her eyes.

  “Are you done now, my sweet?” he asked.

  She felt a strong hand run down the back of her head and trail down her neck.

  “Yeah, I think so.” She sniffled.

  “Good.” Kinich scooped her up and deposited her recklessly on the bed.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Before she protested, he was gone. “Hey! Where are you going?”

  She heard the refrigerator open and then slam shut. He went for a snack? Right in the middle of her epic meltdown? Dammit. She wasn’t done yet. And he had this coming. No, it wasn’t his fault that Zac had put the temptation whammy on him, but Kinich had done plenty of other pigheaded crap to deserve a good tongue-lashing. For starters, he’d made a risky plan that involved rolling the dice with Roberto the Ancient One, which landed Kinich in Vampire Land. Then he’d refused to see her, to trust her, when she’d known in her heart they were meant to be. All the while, she’d been left alone with Zac to rule the gods. And pregnant! And trying to stop the end of the world!

  I mean… seriously!

  Penelope marched from the bedroom, through the living room—yikes, someone really needs to talk to Helena about these decorations. Gloomy much?—to the kitchen, where she found Kinich, shirtless (oops, guess I ruined it with all those fireballs), wearing only his drawstring pajama bottoms, chugging.

  Penelope swallowed hard and took in the heavenly vision of the behemoth male standing before her. Nearly seven feet of pure, hard, immortal muscle, with smooth, slightly golden skin—nowhere near as tanned as before, but nevertheless completely yummy—endless ripples of abs, biceps flexing as he tilted his mouth up, drinking from a plastic pouch.

  She would just pretend he sipped punch and allow him to continue because right before her eyes, Kinich’s body filled out, the bruises on his glorious broad back fading into nothing. His caramel-brown hair returned to its full, glorious length, filled with those streaks of gold she loved so much.

  Kinich withdrew the bag from his mouth and glanced at her. “I told you to stay put.” He swiped another bag from the counter, tore off a corner, and threw his head back once again, chugging deeply.

  “No, you said you’d be right back.”

  Kinich made one last suck, threw the pouch in the trash, wiped his hand across his mouth, and then stared at Penelope like he wanted to sip her next.

  She took a step back and held out her palms. “Whoa. I thought we established you can’t dine on me.”

  He lowered his gaze to her breasts and scratched his stubble-covered jaw. “Says who?”

  Wow. Had he just filled out another two inches in his biceps? Even when Kinich was the God of the Sun, he had been big and strong and freakishly desirable. But now…? He was frigging colossal and a whole hell of a lot sexier.

  Put that man on a package of underwear!

  Instead of pouncing as she secretly hoped, he turned his back and plucked a bottle from the cupboard. Red wine? He didn’t bother to remove the cork. Instead, he snapped off the neck and guzzled straight from the jagged opening.

  Okeydokey. I see we’re going to have to reintroduce proper manners to Kinich.

  He finished off the bottle, slammed it down on the counter, turned toward Penelope, and licked his full lips.

  Oh, hell. Did he just get more handsome? It was difficult to pinpoint exactly which part had improved, but his body looked as though it had been refined by da Vinci’s brush and Michelangelo’s chisel to create flawless definition in every bulging muscle.

  She looked up at the ceiling. “Really? Really? You’ve got to be joking. That’s not fair.”

  “Now,” he growled, “where were we?” He stepped forward, and the hungry expression on his intensely gorgeous face was augmented by the fact that his turquoise eyes shifted to a very deep, dark brown.

  Oh, Christ, he was going to attack her. Penelope took a step back. “You can’t—”

  Before she blinked, Kinich had her against the wall. His thrusting tongue was hot as it pushed inside her mouth, but thrusting hips were hotter.

  “Gods, I missed you, woman,” he said with a breath that filled her lungs with the most potent, delicious smell ever. Dark spices, tropical citrus, male, lust… Ohmygods.

  “Really? Really?” She looked up at the ceiling. “’Cause he didn’t smell yummy enough when he was just a god?”

  “Who the hell are you talking to?”

  She shrugged. “No one. Are you taking me to bed now?”

  He smiled, and for the first time in weeks, Penelope saw the deity she’d fallen in love with. The one who secretly helped forgotten children, the one who’d sacrificed himself to save her, the one she had been born to love and comfort even in his darkest hours. She brought her hand to his cheek, savoring hi
s masculine roughness, and soaked him in. She couldn’t believe they were actually standing together in the kitchen, their bodies pressed together. Happiness and triumph washed over her.

  “Just my luck, I’m finally a vampire, and the sifting dimension is closed.” The Maaskab had locked it up—that’s how they’d manage to capture Guy, Niccolo, and the others. “We’ll have to do it here; the bed is too far away.”

  His head dove straight for her neck. She flinched and then relaxed as she felt his hot tongue suck on the base of her neck. Her body took exactly two seconds—two—to ignite. Goose bumps covered every inch of her skin, her nipples tightened to sharp, little points, and heat flooded between her legs.

  Oh, gods, he feels so incredible. Better than she remembered. Better than anything on the planet. Being with him felt like being whole again—with a whole hell of a lot of extra man now included.

  She watched from the corner of her eye as he tugged down his pants and pulled himself free.

  Lord, he was magnificent. Thick and long and solid. Images flashed in her mind of the last time they’d been together. It had been the kind of sex that could turn a woman into an addict. Because from the moment he enters, every nerve ending floods with endorphins and goes into a euphoric shock, pleasure ripping through every inch of her body. No. A woman could never walk away from a man like that. She could never forget that kind of sex. Unless she were drugged by Cimil as part of her evil master plan, as was the case for Penelope’s first time with Kinich, which was the reason she was now knocked up. A long story.

  She sighed into Kinich’s needy, hot lips. Then, like magic, she found herself stripped of her dress, underwear, and bra. She glanced down at the shredded pile of clothes on the floor. “Sneaky vampire. How did you do that?”

  He didn’t reply, but simply covered her mouth with his and pressed his naked body against hers, allowing her to enjoy the feel of his hardness and warmth against her skin. Gods, he felt so good, so unbearably good. “What are you waiting for?” Hadn’t she suffered enough?

  He replied by securing her legs around his waist and positioning his hard, pulsing cock at her slick entrance. Penelope felt her body tense, recalling the last time he’d taken her. The pleasure of his large cock had not come without a small price of pain, but it had been worth it.

  Instead of pushing inside, relieving her of the aching tension, he began rubbing himself between her folds, using the wall behind her to hold her in place.

  Oh, she remembered this dance. It was her favorite steamy memory of Kinich. She’d relived it hundreds of times. Alone. How sad.

  Not anymore.

  “Oh, gods, that feels so good,” she panted. He kissed her hard and continued rocking himself against her, massaging her bud with the silky head of his cock. So much heat. There was so much heat. “I think I’m going to—ohmygods, please…” Yes. Yes. “No! Wait!”

  Kinich quirked an impatient brow.

  The power now housed inside her would make any nondeity rather uncomfortable, and that went double for a vampire allergic to sunshine.

  “Remember what happened last time?”

  He held up a small ring on his index finger. “Black jade. I had it made just in case.”

  She blew out a breath. Thank the gods for her smart, strategic-thinking ex-deity. The jade would blunt her powers. She hoped. Because, dammit, they’d waited long enough.

  “If it hurts, just stop,” she said.

  He smiled a little wicked smile. “Ditto.”

  He stared into her eyes and pushed.

  She clenched her teeth as he worked his way inside, pushing in and pulling out, slowly filling her inch by inch with his girth. Christ, had he grown down there, too?

  “Look at me, Penelope. I want to see you.”

  She opened her eyes and stared at Kinich’s exquisitely handsome face. The cheekbones and muscled jaw, the caramel-colored brows, and thick lashes adorning turquoise eyes.

  “Gods, woman, you feel so hot. So tight. I’m not going to last.”

  Relief flooded Penelope. They were compatible and the black jade was doing its job. They were finally together. “I love you, Kinich.”

  Kinich barreled down hard, using the wall behind her to drive deeper. With each sharp, delicious jab of his cock, she felt his fangs scrape her neck, driving her to dig deep into his broad back with her nails. He pounded into her with every ounce of pent-up lust, and she took him, knowing he needed it just as badly as she did.

  “Yes. Harder. Harder,” she moaned. Her insides knotted with sweet tension. She would never get enough of this sexy, powerful, deliciously large male.

  Kinich made one final thrust and groaned toward the ceiling as her orgasm exploded and her body clenched around his twitching cock. She clawed him closer, wanting the moment of their joining to last longer, to never stop feeling their breaths move in synchronization, to forever feel the pounding beats of their hearts.

  Kinich held her tightly as she felt the last of his release with several gentle pushes and groans.

  “Oh, gods, Penelope.” He lowered his sweat-covered forehead to hers. “That was worth every fucking minute of hell.” He kissed her in a wet, sloppy, lazy kind of way that told her she’d just worn this behemoth vampire out.

  “I love you, Penelope,” he whispered.

  She smiled. Finally. Thank the gods, he finally said it. “Can we do that again?”

  “That was only a snack.”

  Chapter Quince

  He called you a demon from hell! From hell! “And nice job, Ixtab,” she scolded herself. “You lost him! Dr. Van Brainy Vampire is somewhere on the loose in the world. Gone.” Yes, she’d managed to “misplace” the only being on earth who could help unlock the portal.

  Reason number eight—or is that number seven? Dammit. I’m losing count. Reason number whatever: they are so damned fast! It’s completely annoying.

  After he’d gone running off into the night, she’d circled every back alley and every park she could think of, sniffing for death. Aside from the usual—a few poor lost souls whose time had come naturally—there were no signs of rampant death or a wild, hungry vampire on the loose.

  Almost dawn now, Ixtab returned to the penthouse to face the ridicule of Viktor. At least her sister Fate wasn’t there to rub her nose in this fiasco.

  She pushed open the front door. Kinich and Penelope sat in a love seat near the window making out like two horny teenagers, and Viktor and Julie stood next to the bar sipping red wine, laughing.

  Ixtab sighed. Here goes. “I lost the physicist.”

  Viktor smiled. “You lost who?”

  Ixtab set down her enormous handbag on the floor and sank on the couch. “I know. I’m a complete loser. I can’t do anything right.”

  “Honey,” Julie said. “What are you talking about?”

  “Antonio. He got away. I looked everywhere for him, but—”

  “Ixtab, he’s out on the balcony with Fate,” said Julie.

  “He’s here?”

  Viktor smiled, then nodded. “Yes. And aside from not being hungry—pretty damned strange for a new vampire—he’s fine. We’ve spent the night getting him up to speed on our world.”

  Ixtab pointed toward the open French double doors that led outside. “You mean—he’s there? Now? With my sister Fate?”

  Again they nodded and exchanged glances. “She came to check up on you and the tablet.”

  “Oh.” Well, that was just peachy. Yeaaah. Fate was probably digging her perfect paws into Antonio, no doubt wiggling her sweet, little tanned behind at him and showing him her bows and arrows, too.

  Not that I care.

  Right on cue, one of Fate’s infamous giggles seeped into the room from the outside terrace.

  Ixtab dug her pink nails into her palms. That was Fate’s seduction giggle. No, she’d never taken a lover, but she collected admirers like insomniacs collected tchotchkes from the Home Shopping Network. She had over a million likes on Facebook and double that amount
of followers on Twitter.

  Bitch.

  Julie stepped toward Ixtab only to be jerked back by Viktor.

  Julie sighed impatiently. “Honey, she’s not a rabid dog. She’s one of His divine creations.” Julie looked at Ixtab. “One of His beautiful creations.”

  Ixtab shrugged. “Only on the outside.”

  “Someone’s got the pouties today, huh?” Julie said.

  “Maybe.”

  “Oh, honey, I’ve seen your face and looked into your eyes. You’re about as beautiful as they come. Don’t ever doubt that.”

  Darn angels. Always so nice and uplifting. Phooey. “I’m going to get some rest.”

  “Antonio says you are to meet him at eight a.m. sharp in his lab,” added Julie. “He needs an assistant that can work around the clock and won’t die if he makes a mistake.”

  “I’m sure Fate will happily volunteer for the job.”

  Julie made a little wiggle with her brows. “No. His explicit instructions were to have you help him.”

  He wanted her help? Why? He’d called her a demon. He’d blamed her for turning him into a vampire, and then ran away, all of which left her feeling absurdly wounded.

  “Should I tell him you’ll be there?” Julie asked.

  “Yes. I’ll be there.” Because the truth was, she wouldn’t be able to stay away even if she wanted to.

  * * *

  January 17. Time: 8:00 a.m.

  After a very long, hot shower and three failed meditation attempts, Ixtab had finally given up any notions of this meeting with Antonio going smoothly. Simply thinking of being in the same room turned her into a nervous Nellie. Or was that giddy goddess?

  Sigh. Why would a vampire have such an impact on her? She had no clue, but one thing she knew for certain was that she couldn’t wait to see him again.

  Ixtab raised her hand and knocked lightly.

  “Come in.” Antonio’s voice filtered through the thick wooden door.

  Ixtab peered inside his small but bright and clean lab with two small mad-scientist workstations—beakers, rats, terrarium, some computer equipment—in each corner, and a large stainless steel table in the center of the room.