Who I Am With You

by Amanda Lanclos

  “Thank you…” I lean up, kissing him softly on the lips as Cassadee comes back out to sing their latest hit, a duet called Think of You. “For everything. This is amazing and I love you for it.”

  “I wanted to give you the world, but I couldn’t do that. But, I was able to show the world that I love you.” He kisses me hard and by the time he pulls away, my body is liquid and my panties are drenched with my arousal.

  “I love you so very much Dallas.”

  He smiles before leaning in close to me and growling in my ear, “You wait until we get back to that hotel room. I’ll show you just how much I love every inch of you.”

  My legs go weak and I have to grab his arm to steady myself. He doesn’t even have to ask twice for that shit to happen. How much longer is this concert? I’m suddenly not interested in the deep rumblings of Chris Young.

  Finally after what seems like ages, we are back in Austin’s truck and he’s chauffeuring us back to the hotel. Dallas’ hand keeps sliding up my dress, causing me to jump and push him back. It may be dark in the cab of this truck, but I know we all know what the damn smell of sex smells like and I’ll be damned if I give them something to talk about.

  “Stop it,” I hiss as I throw his hand off my lap and back onto his own. He groans as the dead weight of his hand hits his erection.

  “Damn Kennedy!” He rasps out as he rubs the tent in his jeans. I mouth sorry before I look out the window. “I haven’t even said I do yet and you’re already withholding this beautiful body from me,” he whispers into my ear while I continue to stare out the window.

  Before long we are back at the hotel. Austin drops us off at the front of the hotel and then makes a comment about going to some honky tonk place. I guess to give us a little privacy.

  “I was not withholding. But, I don’t want to have that brought up at every family function we have.”

  “You’re so damn sexy whenever you’re pissed off.” He grabs my hips as his voice caresses my ears with the husky tone he’s got going on. “I’m going to make you know how much I love you tonight Kennedy.”

  The tone of his voice and the look in his eyes has me believing every word he says. Now if he would just hurry up and make it happen, I’d be in heaven.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Five Weeks Later

  “You’re WHAT!” My mother squawks out as Kennedy and I sit on the couch in the formal dining room.

  “Momma, you’re going to be a grandmother.” I look between Mom and Dad to see whose reaction is worse. I don’t really know who’s going to be more upset. Momma or Daddy.

  “I heard you! But three months! THREE months? Why in the hell didn’t you tell us sooner?”

  “Because of this reaction right here.”

  “Darlene, I asked him not to. I didn’t want you to think badly of me since we aren’t married yet.” Kennedy sighs as she fiddles with her hands.

  “Baby, I wouldn’t ever do that to you. We may be old fashioned but I’m tickled pink to be a grandma. But they aren’t calling me Maw Maw and I’m not calling him Waco,” she winks as she walks over and grabs Kennedy’s hand. “I’m over the moon that I get to hear the sounds of little pitter patters around here again.

  “I do think you two should be married before the baby comes though. Even if it’s a small ceremony where it’s just us and your momma. But, you two do what you want. Your father and I both know you two love each other. I believe God made you two for each other. I’ve said that since I watched Dallas fumbling with words the day he met you.”

  “He was over the moon and couldn’t think straight. At ten years old. I knew that boy was done for. He may have made mistakes along the way, just like you did. But, in the end you two are right where you’re supposed to be. With each other and with my grandbaby in here.”

  “I’ve been so worried what you’d think of me, that I didn’t want Dallas to tell you. He’s been bursting at the seams to spill the news, but I didn’t know what to expect.” Kennedy’s eyes shift from my Mom’s and back to me.

  I can tell she’s nervous but I am so proud of her for sticking to her guns about it. “She didn’t think you’d be mean or anything Momma, she just wanted to let you know our game plan.”

  “And that would be?” Dad’s voice booms through the room as he looks between us all.

  Kennedy instantly slumps in her seat, worried that she’s upset Dad. The last thing she wanted to do was upset the one man whose opinion mattered the most to us both. It had nothing to do with him being the Pastor of a church, even though that had some say in the matter. But it was more the fact that she didn’t have Mr. Charlie anymore and she wanted to make sure that the only grandfather our child had wasn’t upset with the way it happened.

  “Well…” She starts but I grab her hand and interrupt.

  “Dad, we plan to get married in three months. We’re going to have the ceremony at the church, if that’s okay with you. We’d also like for you to conduct the ceremony. Then, we are going to have the reception out at the ranch with a big white tent and mason jars and all kinds of country stuff.” Inhaling deeply before looking over at Mom I smile. “That would be were you come in. Kennedy wants to help, but I don’t want her lifting up stuff. So, we have enough money to cover it all.”

  “Sounds like a pretty good plan.” He stands slowly, walking over to me and clapping me on the back. “Kennedy, I couldn’t have asked for a better woman for my son. I know you’ll make a great addition to the family, even though you’ve been a part of it forever, it seems.” He gives her a kind smile and pulls her up into his arms for a hug. In this moment, I know exactly what kind of father I want to be. I want to be just like the man who’s making my woman feel like she’s the best thing since sliced bread, because she is. At least to me.

  “Thank you both, for not being angry. It wasn’t something we planned on happening but now that it is, I couldn’t imagine not having this baby.”

  “Now, Kennedy. You never worry about us being angry. Unless of course you cheat. Then I may have to pull my .380 out.”

  “Mom!” “Darlene!” Both dad and I say in unison.

  “What? I’m not kidding. This is Texas and nearly everyone has a gun. If you hurt my baby boy, I’ll hurt you girl.” Mom’s face distorts and there is no humor in it.

  Kennedy gulps. “Noted.” She looks at me and I wrap her in my arms. Dear Lord, help my Momma. Bitch has gone crazy.

  “Now that things have gotten awkward, who’s ready for chicken salad sandwiches?” Dad bellows, making me chuckle. “Darlene’s only picking. We both know neither of you are going to be cheating. You have a once in a lifetime love, just like we did.” He winks at us, then pulls Kennedy closer to him and whispers something none of us can hear.

  She laughs softly, before hugging him. Mom gives my hand a squeeze as we walk into the kitchen. We discuss the baby and all of the plans we have for the wedding. Soon all of the talk of my mother murdering my soon to be wife is out of our minds and we are all a big happy family again.

  After dinner is done, we leave with promises that we will be back soon to plan all the details, even though if I know my Momma she’s gonna be there before three days pass. That woman lives for this kind of thing. It’s her expertise and Kennedy is in for a real treat if she thinks she’s gonna do it all by herself.

  “That went great,” Kennedy sarcastically says from the passenger side of the truck.

  Chuckling I grab her hand, pulling it to my lips and giving her feather light kisses all over her knuckles. “Well, at least you’re still breathing.”

  “True.” She sighs as she squeezes my hand, looking out the window. “I know that I messed up leaving you all those years ago. I think she still wants to hate me for that, even if just a little bit.”

  “Kennedy, my Momma never hated you. She hated that my heart was broken, but she even said that you needed to do what you thought was best for you.”

  “Really?”

  The shock in her voice has m
e chuckling again. “Kennedy, my Mom always considered you as her daughter. Hell she practically watched you grow up. Why wouldn’t she want what was best for you? I wanted it too, but I was too selfish to express it. I was proud of you for pursuing your dreams, I’d just hoped that I had a part in those dreams of yours.”

  “Oh, Dallas. You were always a part of them,” she sobs as she squeezes my hand a little tighter. “I never imagined my world without you. I just didn’t think it was fair to ask you to wait two or more years for me to finish school. Long distance always sucks.”

  “Yeah, but you were worth it. You’ll always be worth it.”

  Pulling into the ranch, I notice Stella’s car is sitting in the driveway. But, she’s nowhere to be seen. I jump out of the truck, looking around. “Stella?”

  Kennedy slides out of the truck, her belly starting to show under her loose fitting shirt. I am frantically running around looking for Stella, when I notice something near the back of her car. I can’t tell what it is in the dark, but I’m afraid to look. “Call 911 Kennedy!” I scream in terror as I run to the dark spot on the ground.

  Stella is lying there, breathing, but barely. I grab her, lifting her into my arms and carrying her to the porch where I can see her. Her skin is ashen and she’s covered in sweat. “Come on now, Stella. You promised me you’d be around. You gotta rock my babies.” I whisper in her ear as I rock with her in my arms.

  “They said ten minutes. What’s wrong with her?” Kennedy cries out, looking her over and laying her hands on her. “Let’s pray. That always seems to help in the worst of times,” her blue eyes are on mine with such fierceness that I can’t say no.

  For the rest of the time that we wait for that damn ambulance to get here, Kennedy and I both are silently putting our hands on Stella and praying that she makes it out of this. I know the woman gets on my nerves more often than not, but I’d much rather have her getting on my nerves than not existing at all.

  Once the wailing of the sirens fill my ears, I sigh in relief. Austin pulls in behind them, taking the driveway on two wheels as he slams his truck into park. “What the hell is going on here?”

  “Stella.” I let the man take her from me so that he can work on her. He’s speaking to me but the only word I hear is stroke. A stroke? How in the world did this happen? That woman was as healthy as an ox.

  “No sir. She’s alone here. But we are the closest thing she has,” Kennedy says to the man starting an IV on Stella. “Dallas, you go on with her. I don’t want her to be alone.”

  I nod through the roaring in my ear, wondering when this could have happened. I’m glad that she was at my house though, because she’d probably have been dead if I hadn’t found her until tomorrow or the next day. I’d made her a promise that I would come visit more often, but with all the stuff happening at the ranch, I’d failed to make good on it.

  “Dallas, you can’t blame yourself and she doesn’t blame you either. Now, get that out of your head.”

  My head whirls as Kennedy’s voice hits my brain. “What? How’d you know?”

  “Because I know you. I know you enough to know that you feel guilty for not being able to go over there every day to visit with her. She understands. She’s going to be okay.”

  Pulling her into my body, I relish in the strength she’s giving me. “Thank you,” leaning down I kiss her forehead before reluctantly letting go and climbing into the back of the ambulance. Grabbing Stella’s hand, I am instantly comforted when a soft squeeze comes back. My eyes shoot up to Stella’s face where her own are barely opened and looking at me. Thank you, she mouths at me before they close again. I sit back, trying to get out of the paramedics’ way as they work on her, trying to get her stabilized as we roll to the hospital thirty minutes away.

  Being jolted awake by a pillow to the face was not something I took very lightly, but hearing Stella’s voice was like music to my ears. “Boy! Quit all that damn snoring! You sawing logs over there? How’s an old woman supposed to rest if you sound like a damn chainsaw roaring to life?”

  “Sorry, Stella. But, I’m sure glad to see you’re back to your old ways again.” I grumble, sitting up and stretching my back. These damn hospital couches are not the best things for people to sleep on. Feeling my back cracking as I turn helps get the kinks out.

  “Thank you for staying with me.” Her eyes meet mine and the tears that are in them make me feel like an ass, even if they aren’t meant for that.

  “Stella, you’re family. I’ll always be there when you need me.”

  “I appreciate that, more than you know. I was coming to bring y’all some jelly and pickles I’d canned and next thing I knew I was feeling weird and collapsed.”

  “We need to get you a cellphone.” I watch her shaking her head, which makes me laugh.

  “And Dallas.”

  “Yes ma’am?”

  “I’m gonna be here to rock them babies.” She smiles as she reaches for my hand. “I’m not going anywhere. They gonna know Mrs. Stella.”

  “Good,” I stand, kissing her on her forehead as the machine picks up the acceleration in her heartbeat. I smirk as she looks up.

  “Oh, don’t you even. You know this old woman still gets flutters in her belly when a good looking man touches her.” She hoots as she slaps my hand away, but it’s not as strong as it used to be.

  “It’s six in the morning, Stella. How bout I sit down in this chair over here and you get some rest. You’re going to need it.” I sit in the even more uncomfortable rocker as she nods her head in agreement. That’s another first, the woman actually agreeing with something that I’ve said.

  I watch the news, seeing all the violence going on in the world. I don’t know how we’ve come so far from the past, only to revert back to the ways we used to behave. I watch as the number of law enforcement deaths are rising and worry about the world I’m bringing my child into. I have to trust that everything happens for a reason and in the end it will all work out in the best way possible, but it still scares the shit out of me.

  At around nine o’clock a nurse comes into the room and I’m at a loss. That red hair catches my attention before her eyes meet mine. Bailey.

  “Dallas.” She addresses me with a curt nod. “Stella, I need you to wake up.” Bailey slowly reaches for Stella’s arm and shakes her softly.

  “Aw, Hell no!” Stella’s arm jerks as her eyes meet Bailey’s. “You ain’t taking care of me! You’ll slip something to kill me in the IV in my arm and no one will ever know the difference!”

  “Stella,” I hiss, trying to make her quiet down.

  “Now Stella. I’d never do something like that. You may be a mean old bitter woman. But, I love riling you up far too much to kill you. Besides, you’re only mad because I slept with Dallas and you didn’t.” Bailey sneers but it’s the gasp that comes from the door that makes my head look up.

  “Well, it’s obvious I came in at the wrong time,” Kennedy mutters, her hand on her belly that’s showing quite a bit in her tight coral shirt.

  “Who are you?” Bailey cocks her head, studying Kennedy.

  “Dallas’ fiancée,” Kennedy cocks her hip to the side, placing her hand on it with a smirk on her face. Damn if she isn’t hot when she’s staking her claim like that.

  “Look now ladies. Let’s not fight over who’s riding the Dallas train. That thing left the station months ago. But Bailey, I ain’t for no trouble. I got a baby to be rocking in five short months. So, let bygones be bygones, can we?”

  Bailey looks shocked at Stella’s words and smiles. “I can do that. And, congratulations to you and Dallas. Kennedy, it’s nice to see you around again.”

  “You know me?” Kennedy snaps her head back to Bailey and I do too. I sure as hell didn’t know Bailey until a couple of years ago.

  “Of course I do. Well, we’ve never met. But you’re the one who stole Garrison’s heart and never quite let up the hold on it. No one’s ever been able to wrap their hands around it since,” she sh
rugs as she grabs her chart. “Stella, you had a stroke. You’re lucky you have feeling in all your body and no permanent damage. You having any tingling anywhere?”

  “No, but thank you. For all of that.” Stella grabs her hand and squeezes it. “Maybe you aren’t as bad a girl as I thought you was.”

  “Glad you think I’m not that much of a slut today. Could just be because I’m taking care of you,” Bailey winks as she lets out a little laugh that reminds me of Tinkerbell. “If y’all need anything I’ll be down at the nurse’s station.”

  “I wish I’d have stayed in the car for a few more seconds. Or maybe gotten lost on the way up here,” Kennedy mutters as she sits down on the couch beside the rocker.

  “Girl. You staked that claim on that man quicker than I could rip my Band-Aid off.” Stella laughs weakly as she looks at Kennedy. “Come on over here and let me rub that belly! Make me feel better and get me to healing faster.”

  Kennedy reluctantly stands, shuffling over to Stella. If there is anything in the world that Kennedy can’t stand, it’s letting people rub her belly.

  “She’s a girl.” Stella says matter-of-factly. “Yep. You having a pretty little girl. You watch.”

  “We don’t want to find out.”

  “That’s fine. But I’m still knitting a pink blanket.”

  “Stella, why don’t you put all your time into a gender neutral one,” I start to say but she pins me with a look that would make a Marine quiver in his boots.

  “I said, I’m making me a pink blanket. You wait and see, she’s gonna love it too.” Stella looks over at Kennedy with a huge smile on her face as she rubs her belly.

  “Oh!” Kennedy jumps softly. “Did you feel that?” Her face is filled with amazement as Stella smiles.

  “That baby knows she gots people that love her. Yep. Just kicked my hand. That or she saying get the hell off me woman.” Stella laughs softly.

  Looking into Kennedy’s eyes she smiles a sad smile. I know she’s excited that someone else felt the baby kick, but for over three weeks we’ve been trying to get me to feel it. So, I get the reason why she’s sad, but I think the person that needed to feel it, did. It lets her know that she truly has a reason to fight for her own life. My child, our daughter, if Stella is right, needs her. Just like I do.