by Amity Hope
“You do realize he’s been crushing on you for years, right?” Alyssa accused.
I hesitantly nodded. I wasn’t oblivious. I’d always gotten that impression. The problem was, I didn’t feel the same. Not even close. I cherished our friendship and I didn’t want to ruin it. It was easier to pretend I was clueless than to actually address it.
“You two are getting way ahead of yourselves. It’s only January!”
“And time is going to fly by!” Gabby said.
“You should just look. It’ll be fun,” Alyssa assured me.
She wasn’t wrong. One hour, three stores and dozens of dress changes later, we were still sorting through the racks.
“Ohhh, Harper,” Alyssa cooed. “Look at this one! This is so you!”
She held up an ivory dress with gold accents. It was subtle but it was gorgeous.
“Try it on,” Gabby urged.
I took the dress from Alyssa because she was right. It was a style I knew I would adore. Minutes later I emerged from the dressing room. The dress had a pleated bust line with a single shoulder strap. The cinched empire waistline was adorned with gold beading. The chiffon skirt flowed all the way to the floor. It was a little long but the perfect length to add a pair of heels.
“I think I’m in love,” I said.
Gabby pulled an excited face and clapped her hands. “You have to get it!”
As much as I truly did love it, that seemed incredibly premature. I scrunched my face up in hesitation as the light material flowed over my fingertips.
“Did you look at yourself in the mirror?” Alyssa asked. “You look absolutely amazing.”
“Do you really think so?” I turned to the mirror that was on the wall behind me. I was sure that I wouldn’t find a dress that I liked more, or that fit better. “I’ll keep it in mind,” I promised. “Besides, I couldn’t get it today, even if I wanted to. I spent most of the money my dad gave me on my comforter.”
“Fine,” Gabby relented. “But one day, we will be coming back for that dress.”
I knew it would be futile to argue so I just let it go. “Did either of you find anything?”
“Nothing,” Gabby said at the same time Alyssa said, “I like a few.”
“Okay, well, I’m going to take this off. Then Alyssa, you can show me the ones you like. And Gabby, we’ll keep looking for you.”
I was walking out of the dressing room with the dress draped over my arm when my phone chimed from inside of my pocket. Alyssa appeared in front of me and took the dress so she could hang it up. I smiled my thanks as I glanced at the display on my phone. Mom.
I debated not answering but I’d been doing that a lot lately. I watched Alyssa put the dress back on the rack as I greeted my mother.
“It’s about time you answered,” she chided.
“Sorry, I’ve been busy.” I wandered over to a quieter corner as I spoke.
“That’s what you say every time I call.”
“Well, it’s true. And I can’t really talk now.”
“Harper,” she said in a warning tone, “don’t you dare cut me off again.”
“Mom, it’s just not a good time. I’m at the mall with my friends. We’re looking at dresses for prom. What do you want me to do, just stand here in the middle of the store and make small talk?”
“You’re shopping for dresses? For prom? You know I can find the perfect dress for you. Whittington’s has an amazing collection this year. Which one of those wretched little stores are you shopping at?” she demanded. Before I could answer she cut me off. “Never mind. Are you going to prom?”
“Maybe. Probably not. I don’t know,” I sputtered. “We’re at the mall. It was something to do.”
“Do you have a boyfriend already?” she demanded.
“No.” I didn’t think so.
She let out what sounded like a relieved sigh. “So you’re not getting too comfortable in Woodbury.” It didn’t really sound like a question, more like a statement, telling me how I should be feeling.
I had been ready to cut the call short, whether she wanted me to or not. Her words sounded suspiciously leading. “What does that mean?”
“How would you like to come home?”
“Home? I am home.” I felt my spine stiffen. Gabby looked at me across several racks of clothes. Her brows were furrowed in concern. I shook my head, hoping to let her know everything was fine.
“You’re not home. I meant, I think you should come back here, to live with me.”
“You have got to be kidding.”
“I’m not. I—”
“You sent me away!” I hissed into the phone. “I begged you to let me stay in Florida. You sent me here! Now that I’m here and I actually like it, you want me to move again?! Why?! Does it just piss you off that I might be happy here? Does it bother you that I might be happy with Dad?”
“Harper!” she snapped. “Stop. That’s not what this is about. My job didn’t work out. Mary Ann’s daughter decided she wanted the position,” she said, mentioning her boss with some bitterness. “I got bumped back to my old position. I won’t be traveling after all.”
Perhaps a better daughter would’ve shown some sympathy. I knew how badly Mom had wanted that job. I knew how long she’d been waiting for it. But I wasn’t that daughter.
“So…what? Now that you’re not traveling, you decided it was lonely with me gone? Maybe you should set your work aside for once. Find a hobby. Try making some friends.”
“Do not use that tone with me. You fought me for months because you didn’t want to move.” Her tone implied that she was doing me a favor now. That I should be grateful that she wanted to pluck me out of school and transplant me yet again.
“And you made me move anyway!” I whisper-yelled as I looked around, hoping I wasn’t attracting attention. As usual, her timing was terrible. It was hard to argue amidst satiny dresses and jewel encrusted handbags. Instead, I evened my voice out but said the words with feeling. “I like it here. I am all settled in.”
“Just pretend that it was an extended vacation. But now it’s time to come home.”
I shook my head, trying to think of something to say. But this was Mom and I knew better than anyone that there was no reasoning with her. If she wanted me to move back, she was going to expect to get her way. There was nothing I could say to change her mind.
I couldn’t change her mind. But maybe I wouldn’t have to. “If you want me to move back, you’re going to have to go through Dad.”
She let out a bitter laugh. I knew cutting words were on the edge of her tongue. Before she could hit me with them, I disconnected.
“Are you okay?” Alyssa said as she appeared beside me.
“Yeah,” I muttered as I slipped my phone back into my purse. “I’m fine.”
She shook her head and Gabby was beside us in an instant. “No you’re not. Let’s get out of here.”
“You weren’t done looking around.”
She waved a hand at me. “I can look anytime. But you? You look like you need to talk.”
Minutes later we were seated at a corner booth in the food court. We each had a large cup of hot chocolate, heaped with whipped cream, in front of us, courtesy of Alyssa.
“No,” Gabby said, her voice firm, when I told them about the call.
“She can’t do that to you,” Alyssa said insistently. She made a face. “Or to us! We just got you back!”
I laughed because while I didn’t find the situation funny, it was comforting to have my friends come to my defense.
“You need to talk to your dad,” Gabby ordered.
“We are not going to lose you again,” Alyssa said.
*****
In my effort to not be a stalker, I inadvertently became one. I’d been pulling my blinds closed in the evenings, as soon as the sun began to set. It was at night, when darkness fell and lights went on, that it was easy to see into Seth’s house. I was well aware of how I’d feel if my privacy was invaded. I was try
ing to give him the courtesy of discretion. I walked over to my window preparing to pull the blind. As my hand reached for the cord, I caught sight of Seth in his kitchen.
This was exactly the kind of situation I’d been trying to avoid. Yet, I stood there, my hand on the chord, my breath frosting up the window. It was like looking into another world.
After shopping, I’d come directly home to talk to Dad. He’d told me not to worry about a thing. Just to be safe, he had decided to call his lawyer in the morning to get some advice. The thought of making me go back to Florida now, he assured me, was absurd. I’d be eighteen in just a few months. I wanted to stay here. He said he’d make sure I had a voice in that. Worst case, it could turn into a custody case that would kill time until my birthday rolled around.
When Dustin had called for our weekly chat, he hadn’t been surprised.
These thoughts were rolling around in my head when I’d gone to the window. I was in a bit of a daze as I looked out, across the lawn. At first, I’d just been looking up at the sky, catching sight of the stars as they seemed to magically appear. More and more by the minute. But then movement across the yard had caught my attention.
Bart was at the table. He had his back to me. Over his shoulder, I could see the edges of a newspaper. His right hand made periodic trips to his mouth as he ate his dinner. I watched, engrossed in the eerie simplicity of it. Seth had pulled something from the fridge. As he moved it to the center island, I realized it was the plate of leftover chicken fricassee that I’d sent home with him. He stood in front of the microwave as he waited for it to heat. His back was to the countertop, arms crossed, and eyes on the floor.
I knew I should pull the blind. I just couldn’t.
Not once did he even look his dad’s way. Mr. Ryerson flipped the page of his paper and then resumed his meal. There was absolutely no conversation at all. Seth pulled his plate from the microwave and I waited to see if he’d take a seat at the table. He disappeared from my sight and a few moments later, his bedroom light flipped on.
Finally, I let the blind fall into place.
Even though I hadn’t witnessed anything malicious, I was left with a melancholy feeling. It burrowed down, into my soul.
CHAPTER 11
The next morning I was finishing off the last of my cappuccino when the doorbell rang. Dad had already left for the day. I had no idea who to expect so early in the morning but I definitely hadn’t been expecting Seth.
“Hey,” he said as I swung the door open. “I was wondering if you wanted to ride with me.”
I motioned for him to come in. “Sure,” I said, unable to contain my smile. I wasn’t at all sure where things stood after the other night. Not that this clarified things completely, but it felt like a good sign. “I’m not quite ready.”
Seth usually left after I did. I liked getting to school a little early so I could visit with my friends. He usually came wandering in at the last minute. The fact that he was here now, before I was even ready to go had to mean he’d gotten ready early just for me.
“Do you know what I need?” he asked as he leaned against the counter, waiting for me to rinse out my cup.
“A blueberry muffin?” I asked as I slid the plate his way. I’d set it out for myself. With thoughts of Mom’s call filling my head, I hadn’t been in the mood to eat it.
He eyed up the plate, laughed and shook his head. “I was going to say I need your phone number. But…” His gaze wandered toward the muffin.
“Go ahead,” I said.
He shook his head. “I shouldn’t eat your breakfast.”
I tapped the container sitting next to me. “There’s more. I’m not really hungry this morning.”
His teasing expression fell away. “What’s wrong? Do you not want to ride with me? I mean, it doesn’t have to mean anything. I just thought, you live next door and—”
“No,” I said as I put my hand on his arm to cut him off. “It’s not that. It’s my mom.” I told him about the phone call.
“She’d really do that to you again?”
“She would. If she could,” I said. “Dad doesn’t think it’ll happen.”
“So you don’t want to go back?”
I shook my head. “At first, I didn’t want to come here. But now I’m here. I do not want to move again. Things are going well with Dad.”
“Do you miss your friends? From Florida, I mean,” he clarified.
“Not as much as I thought I would.” I didn’t want to get into an explanation of how awkward things had been with them when I’d left.
Now that Gabby and Alyssa were back in my life, I felt like I knew what real friendship was again. The friendships I’d had with Madeline and Libby were superficial at best. I’d needed friends, someone to latch onto because I’d felt so alone. They’d let me into their small group, probably because it had been so small. But I’d always known that the friendship they shared was too strong for me to compete with.
“We should probably go,” I said. I handed him the muffin. He ate it while I slipped into my boots and jacket.
“What did you do yesterday?” I asked as we got into his truck.
“Caught up on homework,” he said with a shrug. “You?”
“I went shopping with Gabby and Alyssa.”
“Find anything interesting?” he asked as we pulled away from my house.
I wasn’t about to tell him I’d fallen in love with a dress.
“I found a few things for my room,” I admitted.
“So this Friday,” he started as he tapped the fingers of one hand against the steering wheel, “we have an out of town game.” He paused for so long I thought maybe that was all he had to say about it. Finally, he glanced at me and said, “But Saturday, we don’t have a game at all. I was wondering if you’d maybe want to do something.”
“Yes,” I said without hesitating. “I’d love to.”
He flashed me a smile. “Okay. Is there anything particular you want to do? Or anywhere you want to go?”
“Do the Titans have a home game this weekend?” I asked of our college team.
“Yeah, but you don’t want to go to that, do you?” he sounded skeptical.
I laughed. “I would, actually. I’ve been deprived of hockey for the last few years. Now, the season is already half over. We could get dinner first,” I suggested. “Dad ordered pizza from Angelo’s my first day back but I haven’t had it since. Would you mind going there?”
“Perfect,” he said. “I’ll pick you up at six.”
I plucked his phone out of his cup holder and gave him a questioning look.
“Go ahead,” he said. “Make sure you get my number too, if you want it.”
By the time we arrived at school, I was no longer worried about the call from my mom. I was not moving again. That’s all there was to it. I wasn’t giving up my life here. Not again, and certainly not now.
I was still smiling when Seth and I parted ways inside of the building. As I neared Alyssa’s locker, I realized Gabby was already there. She nudged Alyssa and they both turned to face me with narrowed eyes.
“You rode with Seth?” Alyssa asked curiously.
“How did you know that?”
“Brent muttered it as he went stomping by,” Gabby said. “I think there’s a strong possibility that he was waiting for you at the main door. The one that faces the parking lot.”
“Oh,” I said with a shrug. “Well, you know, we’re neighbors. It just makes sense to ride together.”
I glanced at Gabby as I stuffed my coat into Alyssa’s locker. She wasn’t quite satisfied with that answer. She had a hand on her hip and her eyebrows raised.
“Is there something you forgot to tell us yesterday? You know, while we were shopping for hours.”
I glanced around, suddenly wishing I had brought it up yesterday because I didn’t want to bring it up here.
Alyssa seemed to understand. She put her hand on my elbow and said, “Fill us in later?”
I n
odded.
“Give us something to go on though!” Gabby begged. “Just a little tidbit?”
I looked around again. Everybody around us seemed to be busy with their own morning rituals.
“Okay, don’t read too much into it but he kissed me on Saturday. He showed up this morning to give me a ride,” I bit back a smile before saying, “and he asked me out for this weekend.”
“Like a date?” Alyssa asked, her face crumpled in confusion. “He usually doesn’t date.”
So I had heard. Suddenly I worried that I had read too much into it. Maybe he had asked me out as a friend.
“Oh,” I muttered. “Maybe not. Maybe he just wanted to hang out.”
“If it is a date,” Gabby said, “you should probably let Brent know. Don’t leave the poor guy hanging.”
“I’m not,” I said. I was feeling a little defensive. He hadn’t actually asked me out. In fact, I’d only talked to him a few times. I didn’t intend to string him along, but I didn’t really feel like I owed him an explanation, either. If anyone did, maybe it was Seth. They were best friends.
*****
As we drove home that afternoon, we talked about things we hadn’t gotten to on Saturday night. Seth told me about coaching the little kids in the summer. He seemed to love his job. I’d worked at the pretzel shop in the mall. I was not nearly as happy about my job.
He also worked for Brent’s dad, who owned a landscaping company. He hadn’t liked that job nearly as much but at least the pay was good. It should be, I supposed, considering the amount of manual labor involved. Digging holes to plant new trees and moving around pallets of paver stones in sometimes scorching heat? That sounded a lot worse than selling pretzels in the air conditioned mall, no matter how boring my job may have been.
Now that I was here, Dad had told me getting a job wasn’t necessary. He’d brought it up before I’d even had a chance. He said he didn’t want me tied up at some minimum wage job, cutting into his family time. I was pretty sure it was his attempt at making up for the last few years. For us not seeing each other much. Instead, he’d started giving me an allowance that I was quite happy with.
