by Amity Hope
I’d been worried that two hours in a car with Brent would be awkward but it hadn’t been at all. It had actually been kind of nice. At least it was when his chatter helped me to forget that we’d left Seth behind.
I’d talked to him a lot over the last month. He’d been right the morning he’d confronted me by Seth’s locker. I had been avoiding him. Once he pointed that out, I had stopped. When he’d offered to tutor me after school, in the library, I’d accepted. Now, I was glad that our friendship was back on track because I really did like spending time with him.
I smiled at the puppy-dog look he was giving me. “I promise I’ll try to have a good time. I really am looking forward to today. I haven’t gone skiing since freshman year though. I hope I remember how.” It was a legitimate concern.
He shrugged. “If you have to hang out on the bunny hill for the first few runs, I’ll stick with you and keep you company. You’ll do fine because I’m pretty sure it’s like riding a bike. It’s just one of those things you don’t forget how to do.”
“I hope so. The last thing I need is to wipe out in front of her,” I groaned as he pulled into a parking spot.
He laughed. “Which one?”
Caitlin had just hopped out of Tricia’s car a few spots down from where Brent had parked.
“Good point. Both of them. I should’ve guessed they were coming,” I said.
“Don’t worry. Once we get going I’ll make sure we ski far, far away from them.” He gave me his adorable smile as he tugged his knit cap onto his head. “Come on. Logan and everyone else left before we did. He sent me a text while I was waiting outside for you. We’ll catch up to them.”
We got out and went to the back of his truck. He reached in and pulled my ski equipment out and handed it to me. When I was situated, he reached back in for his own.
“Well, don’t you two look cozy?” Caitlin said.
Her tone grated down my spine. I turned to face her, surprised to see how upset she looked.
“I knew you and Seth wouldn’t work. He doesn’t do relationships but showing up with his best friend? Isn’t that kind of low?” She was scanning the parking lot, possibly looking for Seth. Her fist was ground into her hip. Her glare was icy and her tone frigid. Even in bulky ski gear she looked like the homecoming queen that she was. Her blue eyes sparkled in anger.
“Hey!” Brent said. He stepped closer to me, as if shielding me from Caitlin. It was kind of sweet even if it was completely unnecessary. “Seth asked me to drive Harper up here.”
“He couldn’t come,” I said, not sure why I felt the need to explain myself to Caitlin. “His dad changed his mind at the last minute. He didn’t want me to drive up here alone.”
“Since when does his dad give a damn about what he does?” Caitlin asked.
It was a good question, actually. One I was afraid I knew the answer to: It was a punishment because of me.
She tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes.
I braced myself. Caitlin was the kind of girl that was prone to random acts of bitchiness. But sometimes, people surprise you in a good way.
“Well, good. I’m glad you two are still together. You’ve been good for him,” she said.
I hesitated, waiting for the backhanded compliment that didn’t come.
“Really?” I finally asked. My tone was a little harsher than it should’ve been because I was being prematurely defensive.
“Really,” she said. “Things haven’t been easy for him lately.” I nodded, wondering just how much she knew. “I care about Seth a lot. He’s been a good friend to me. He watches my back. And I watch his.” She poked a finger my way. “I’d be very unhappy with you if you hurt him.”
“Cait!” Tricia called from several cars down. “Are you seriously going to waste all day talking to them?”
Caitlin took off without a goodbye. Not that I cared. It was probably for the best because I didn’t know what to say to the girl. To be honest, a part of me had always worried that she’d try to cause problems with Seth and me. The last thing I expected was for her to be a cheerleader for our relationship.
If she meant what she said, that she was just watching his back, I decided maybe I liked her more than I thought I did.
“You know, she’s right,” Brent said. “You and Seth are really good together. I’m sorry about what I said. That day I said he wasn’t good for you? I guess I was feeling kind of jealous. But,” he shrugged, “now that I’m used to the idea of you together, I see I was wrong. So, I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s fine. But what about you?” I asked as we started the trek up to the ski lodge. “Why aren’t you dating anyone?”
He threw a soft punch at my arm. “Because all the good ones are taken.” Then his gaze wandered toward Caitlin and Tricia, who were wrestling their equipment out of the back of Tricia’s car. “And only the crazy ones are left.”
CHAPTER 20
Brent had been right about skiing. At his insistence—because he didn’t want to bring me back to Seth with broken bones—we’d taken a few runs down the bunny hill. It was just like riding a bike. As soon as my ankles reacquainted themselves with the feeling of being locked inside ski boots, I forgot all about being a little bit nervous.
From the smaller hill, we’d caught up with our friends.
Seth had also been right. Brent and I had gotten home late. We’d skied until late in the evening and then stopped for dinner in the middle of the long drive home. By the time Brent had dropped me off, Seth’s house was dark.
In the morning, I called him but his phone went straight to voicemail. It was a work day for Mr. Ryerson. Though I hadn’t been up early enough to see him go, I hoped it was safe to assume he was long gone. Seth had said his dad told him he was spending too much time at our house. But he hadn’t specifically said I couldn’t go over to his. Or at least, I didn’t think he had. The thought of going three more days without seeing Seth, and only seeing him at school, just wasn’t working for me.
Even though he wasn’t answering his phone I was pretty sure he was at home. I waited until close to lunchtime, in case he was sleeping in late on our day off. Then I took the shoveled path to his house. I rang the doorbell and waited.
And waited.
I realized maybe he had gone somewhere. I’d slept in so maybe he’d left before I got up. I rang the bell again and waited some more. When there was still no answer, I descended the steps, ready to head home. My foot had just hit the snow-covered pavement when the door crept open.
“Hey,” Seth said. He was wearing navy sweats and a gray t-shirt. His face was scruffy and his hair was disheveled, as if I’d awakened him. He looked gorgeous and completely kissable.
“I missed you,” I said as I bounced back up the steps and pulled him into a hug.
As I threw my arms around him, I squeezed tightly. I heard him inhale sharply. His hands went around my waist and he gently pushed me away. He smiled at me but I’d already seen the way he winced in pain.
I let my arms fall down to my sides. “Are you okay?”
He made a face, as if it was a stupid question. “Yeah, just kinda tired.”
I sidestepped him, letting myself into the house. With a resigned look, he closed the door behind me. He raked a hand through his hair and turned away. He didn’t ask me to follow him but he also didn’t tell me to leave. When he headed up the stairs, I hurried after him. He crossed his room and carefully lowered himself onto the edge of his bed. For once, it wasn’t made. The covers were strewn off, half on the floor.
“You’re lying to me,” I said.
“Did you have a good time at Ridgecrest?” He was working hard to keep his expression neutral but pain edged his eyes.
I didn’t answer him because yes, I’d had fun with Brent. Innocent fun, but fun all the same. A wave of guilt washed over me, drowning out the happy memories of the day before.
“Don’t change the subject,” I said as I edged closer to the bed. I stood a fe
w feet away, my gaze scouring over him, wondering what, exactly, it was that he was hiding. “And don’t lie to me.”
He let out a half-laugh, half-scoff of annoyance. “I’m not.”
My hand flashed out, tugging the hem of his shirt up. I let out a gasp of surprise. A gash worked its way diagonally up his abdomen. It looked new. The bruising around it was angry and ugly and looked painful as hell.
His fingers circled my wrist, tearing my hand away. I stumbled back a few steps. My knees felt like they were going to give out. Tears burned the back of my eyes and anger burned through the rest of me.
“Yesterday I was cleaning out the storage room in the basement,” he grated out. “That was the first job on my list of things to do. I was stacking some boxes and the whole shelving unit came loose from the wall and fell on me.”
Such a plausible excuse. But then again, he’d been perfecting his lies for years.
“This is me you’re talking to. Me. The person that knows you didn’t fall off your swing set a dozen times. Or fall off your bike like you always told our teachers you did. I know three years ago you didn’t trip over Lily’s toy and fall down the stairs. I know what happened that night. I saw it. I saw everything. I know what he did to you and your mom. And I know that wasn’t the only time.” I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out my key ring. I wiggled my house key off of it. I could feel him staring at me, seething. I tossed the key onto the bed next to him. “I know why you used to sneak out to the playhouse to sleep.”
He glanced at the key that had landed beside him but he didn’t pick it up.
“The next time you need somewhere to go, try Dustin’s room. Dad keeps the door shut and hardly ever goes in there,” I said. “Or better yet, get out of this house altogether.”
He shook his head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You asked why I wasn’t happy that you came back. This! This right here is why I didn’t want you to come back! I knew you’d be sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong! I knew you wouldn’t mind your own business! Why can’t you do that? Why can’t you just leave it alone?!” He grimaced and dragged in a pained breath with the exertion of his words.
“Gosh, Seth, I don’t know,” I said sarcastically, around a throat clogged with tears. “Maybe because I care about you? Maybe because we’re friends? Maybe because I love you? Maybe because there wasn’t a single day that went by after I left that I didn’t think about you. Or worry about you! Or maybe it’s all of the above!”
“I swear, Harper, if our friendship ever meant anything to you, if you and I mean anything to you, you’ll keep your mouth shut.” His breathing sounded labored. I didn’t know if it was from pain or from anger.
“And if I don’t?” I stuck my hands back in my coat pockets. They were trembling, just like my voice.
He glared at me with something that felt a lot like hatred. “I will never forgive you. Here’s the thing about secrets!” he shouted. “Sometimes they’re not yours to tell!”
His words abraded my heart, like sandpaper on an open wound.
He shoved his hands through his hair, messing it up even more chaotically than it had been.
“It doesn’t matter how hard you try to push me out. You can’t make me stop caring about you. What kind of friend would I be if I just said nothing? Forget about friends, what kind of person would I be?”
“The kind of person that minded their own damn business! Now get the hell out of my house,” he said calmly. “And please, shut my door on your way out.”
I crossed his room quickly, slamming his door behind me. Tears blurred my vision as I stumbled down the stairs. I hurried to the front door, then skidded to a stop. I stood with my hand on the doorknob, hesitating. I took a deep breath and then took a big step back. I moved back through the living room to the staircase. For the first time in years, I descended the steps that led to Seth’s basement. I walked through the family room, down a short hallway. The door that led into the storage room came into view.
I opened it, blinking in surprise at the catastrophe that was spread across the floor. A metal unit, five shelves tall was toppled across the concrete of the unfinished room. Items were scattered everywhere. Boxes flipped on their sides, contents spilling out. Holiday decorations were strewn across the floor. Glass globes lay shattered. The yearbooks that Seth had had up in his room were splayed out across the mess.
I picked them up and stacked them on a different set of shelves.
I looked around for a broom and swept up the broken glass. I dumped it into the garbage can that rested against the wall. I tilted the boxes back up and rearranged the contents before stacking them out of the way.
I stood glancing around at the mess, wondering if maybe he hadn’t lied to me. It was obvious something had happened in here. I wondered if I should try to put the shelf back. Probably not, I decided. I didn’t want it to topple again. My eyes darted to the bare spot on the wall, where the shelf had stood. The sheetrock was unmarked. I stepped closer, looking for evidence that the shelving unit had been restrained against the wall to prevent tipping. There were no screws, no holes, no dangling safety straps that had broken free. Nothing.
With a frustrated sigh, I went back upstairs.
I quietly pushed Seth’s door open. He was lying on his back, his knees pulled up, one arm flung across his eyes. He didn’t look at me when I opened the door but his arm fell to his side.
“That shelf was never attached to the wall,” I said quietly. “One of these days, I dare you to trust me enough to tell me the truth.”
This time, when I closed the door, I did so gently.
*****
I hadn’t heard from Seth all weekend. I had called him twice. Once on Saturday, once on Sunday. Usually weekends flew by but that weekend, I felt like it would never end. Mr. Ryerson never left the house once. Not that I saw, anyway. If he had, I would’ve been tempted to walk over. As it was, I didn’t dare.
On Monday morning, I left for school before Seth did. I went straight to his locker to wait for him. Even if he didn’t want to talk to me, I needed to see him. I needed to be sure that he was okay…Or at least not in any worse shape than I’d left him.
I’d spent the weekend engaged in a mental tug of war. My thoughts torn between doing what I thought was right and doing what Seth begged of me.
“Hey,” Caitlin said as she gave me a shove. It didn’t hurt exactly but it did take me by surprise. “You liar. You said that you and Seth didn’t break up.”
“We didn’t,” I said as my lip began to tremble.
“Then why did he take one look at you standing here and take off in the other direction?” she demanded. Her hands were on her hips and she was visibly upset with me.
“I think we might be taking a break.” I was being optimistic, not wanting to believe we were over. A tear leaked out and trickled down my cheek. I had hardly slept all weekend. I was an exhausted, emotional wreck with too many things on my mind. I hadn’t seen Seth but obviously he’d seen me.
“Oh, crap,” Caitlin muttered at the sight of my tears.
For no particular reason, her words made me cry harder. Tears began streaming down my face. “Come on,” she said. She looped her arm through mine and I was too dazed to argue or hesitate. She quickly wove our way through classmates, whisking me away.
I didn’t say a word when she led me right out the front doors of the school, across the lawn and to the parking lot. She steered me towards her car, finally letting me topple into her passenger seat.
“I didn’t really feel like dealing with Chemistry today, anyway,” she said. Whether she was talking to herself or me, I wasn’t sure. She left the parking lot and I didn’t bother to ask where we were going. Maybe I should have because I was surprised when she turned onto the road leading to my house.
I tossed her a questioning look.
“You’re a mess,” she said. She flipped down my visor and opened the mirror. She was right. I was a mess. “At the very l
east, you’ll want to wash your face, if you decide to go back to school.”
Minutes later, we were settled on the couch in my family room. I’d call Dad later, telling him I had cramps or something to that affect. I hadn’t missed any school yet. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t give me a hard time about it.
“Seth looked like hell too. What’s going on?” she asked.
I debated telling her. If I talked to anyone, it almost made sense that it would be her. Or Brent. But Brent wasn’t here and Caitlin was. And she cared about Seth too. There was a fine line between granting someone their privacy and turning a blind eye on something you know is wrong. Right then, I really needed some advice.
“It’s got to be something with his dad, right?” Caitlin prodded. “It didn’t make any sense that he couldn’t go skiing. He spent the night at my house all the time and his dad never gave a damn. Didn’t call looking for him once.”
I winced at the thought of Caitlin and Seth together. She noticed and waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t get your undies in a twist. Yeah, we fooled around some. But nothing like you’re obviously thinking.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Did he say otherwise?”
I quickly shook my head. “No. It hasn’t come up.”
“Oh. Well, he just stayed because he didn’t want to go home. And I let him because Mom was always gone. I really hated being home all alone.” She shrugged. “Now I’m used to it but at first, it sucked. It worked out for both of us. But then you came along and that was the end of that.”
“You can always come to my house,” I offered. “If you don’t want to be alone.”
“Thanks, but like I said. I’m used to it. Besides, I’ve kind of decided I enjoy the quiet. It’s a lot better than when Mom is around. She and Kent fight all the time. So if he’s not there and they’re not yelling face to face, they’re screaming into the phone at each other. I’ve come to appreciate the silence,” she said wryly. “But we’re not here to talk about me. What’s going on with you and Seth?”
