Tagged for Life

by Sam Destiny

Tessa couldn’t help but laugh, hugging Aimie for a second before following Hilary’s call to finally join them on the sofa, otherwise they’d miss Channing’s first stripping scene.

  Jazz had never known a night to be so long. Even though he and Tank had played card games with some of the guys from their unit until almost midnight, he now lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Part of him knew that his body simply got used to the changed hours he had kept up with Tessa the last few days, but another part of him - the part that was rapidly beating in his chest – knew that it was because he hadn’t seen her. Jazz wanted to talk to her and hear her voice. He wanted to hold her.

  It scared the shit out of him though because Tessa and him weren’t just improbable, they were impossible. He had seen what long distance had done to couples in the Army. Whenever the guys were out of the country, the women started to worry and the men got jealous as hell. After all, nine months was a long time to be gone. In fact, even six months seemed to be an eternity most of the time.

  Even though Jazz had never been in the position to leave someone other than his immediate family behind, he had seen how it ate up his friends and brothers-in-arms. Some had become dads while being away and that was what partly broke them more than just knowing their wife/girlfriend/fiancée was back home, all by herself. Missing the birth of a child could do crazy things to a man – especially since most were devoted to their family.

  Jazz had always been glad that he wouldn’t have to go through that, but now he realized that some things were worth hurting for. The moment when you were able to take your girl back in your arms again, hold her tight and kiss her, that was what made it all right.

  Only he could never have that, either, because Tessa wouldn’t be waiting on any American base whenever he returned. She’d be back in the UK.

  Knowing that he wouldn’t find sleep anyway, he sat up again, his dog tags moving down from his neck, making him shiver. He could still remember too well how Tessa had let her fingertips go down exactly the same path. He needed to talk to someone who didn’t know Tessa and wasn’t like Tank, so he got out his phone, hoping that his sister was still awake and ready to talk to him.

  She picked up after the first ring and he grinned because she sounded more than just a little absent-minded.

  "Yeah?" she answered, mumbling something about horses and broken bones.

  “Kris, are you listening? Do you even know whom you are talking to?” he asked, laughing as she started squealing.

  “Jesse! Oh my God, you haven’t called in forever! Are you okay? Is everything all right?” she asked, sounding instantly worried.

  “I’m perfectly fine, I just needed someone to talk to,” he said and then heard how she was shuffling around in whatever room she sat.

  “I know mom’s still awake, too, so how about I go over there and all three of us talk?” she suggested, but he knew she was already on the move.

  “Mom, it’s Jesse,” she called out and he closed his eyes, hearing the echo of her steps as Kristine put him on speaker.

  “Hello, son,” his mother said gently and Jazz wished she’d be right around the corner because he sure could use his mom’s hug right now.

  “Mom, hey! I was hoping Kris was still up and I didn’t meant to bother you, but…” He wasn’t exactly sure how to start that whole topic. In fact, he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk to his mother about this at all. She would just get her hopes up about him turning his back on the Army and finally doing something safe with his life.

  “Well, obviously something bothered you enough you felt the need to call her up, so let’s hear it,” his mom replied.

  “Please, let it be a girl,” Kris pleaded and Jazz buried his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes before sighing. This had been a pretty stupid idea.

  “Ohmigosh, it is, isn’t it? You’re calling because of a girl!” The excitement was clear in his sister’s voice and he couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Actually it is. If you know something is just temporary, how intense should you let it get? Let’s say it’s a week-thing, how much of me should I give?” he wanted to know, wishing he could think of another example.

  “Let’s say we want to answer that, how about you answer a question first?” his mother suggested and Jazz pressed his lips together. She was able to ask one question and from a single-sentence-answer find out all the secrets in the world.

  “What is it?” he wanted to know and then waited for a moment while his mother obviously tried figuring out which question best to ask.

  “How did you meet her?” she finally asked and Jazz breathed in relief. This one was easy and wouldn’t tell his mother too much.

  “I almost fell over her at the airport,” he said, feeling himself smile at the memory. Reliving this hour with her made him feel all warm inside. He had already known then that she was different.

  “Was she coming or going?” his mother’s next question came and he chuckled.

  “I think you had your one question, mom, but to appease you, she was coming. She had arrived some time before I found her.”

  “You found her, huh?” Kristine asked and Jazz almost groaned. Sometimes he forgot how much his mother and his sister were alike. It was true though, he felt as if he had found something that day; something that he had long been missing.

  “I did.”

  “Have you seen her again since then?” his mom wanted to know and Jazz took a deep breath, hoping to make his voice sound calmer than he actually felt.

  “I’ve seen her almost every night since then,” he said, hearing his mother and his sister whisper, but not being able to make out their words. It sounded intense though.

  “Care to share?” he wanted to know.

  “We’re still discussing,” Kristine replied and he turned his phone on speaker, lying back down on the pillows. They still smelled like Tessa and it made this all so much more difficult.

  “What’s her name?” his mother eventually asked, not offering any opinion. It surprised Jazz since his mother usually was quick in giving out advice and taking guesses.

  “How’s that important?”

  “Because she got to you, son. So much, you’re lying awake at night, calling your sister for a talk. I think we at least ought to hear her name. It’s probably the first girl you’ve mentioned since you started basic training,” his mother explained gently and as much as Jazz tried to remember if there ever had been another girl, he couldn’t.

  “Tessa,” he said quietly, knowing she meant a lot to him already. Just the way her name felt on his tongue made him realize how much he loved saying it.

  “That’s a beautiful name,” Kristine remarked and Jazz had to smile again.

  “She’s a beautiful person,” he gave back.

  “Oh, Jesse. You’re head over heels in love, aren’t you?” Kristine asked and he took a moment before answering.

  “What makes you say that?” Even though it was true, and it had taken his mother and sister on the phone for him to realize he still wanted to know how they knew. It was crazy he hadn’t realized all this sooner.

  “You called her beautiful, not sexy. You called her a ‘person’, not a chick or girl or anything. You like everything about her, so she most likely is damn pretty and really nice. She’s sweet, too, isn’t she?” Kristine asked and Jazz could hear how her mother agreed in approval. Kristine had obviously read things the way his mother would have done, too.

  “She could be everything. Hot if she puts her mind to it. Innocent if she wants to be. And devoted to her friends. Mom, you would love her. She’s a girl like you always wanted me to bring home. Oh wait, you threatened that if she weren’t nice you’d show what a true dragon-in-law could be. Wasn’t that the reference you used?” he wanted to know and both his mother and his sister laughed at the other end of the line.

  “You said that, mom?” Kristine asked and his mother gasped for air, still laughing.

  “Trust me, that was the nice version. I just wanted someone good
for Jesse and feared he’d bring some skeezer back,” his mother explained.

  “Skeezer? No one uses that word anymore! Say tramp, mom,” Kristine fussed.

  “If I had been in love with that tramp you two still would’ve had to accept her,” Jazz remarked.

  “The hell we would have,” Kristine instantly replied.

  “Agreed,” his mother said and Jazz rolled his eyes. Those two were terrible whenever they teamed up.

  “Stop rolling your eyes at me, boy. I’m still your mother and still don’t like that gesture,” his mother scolded.

  “I didn’t, mom,” he protested.

  “Oh please, even I could practically hear it,” Kristine agreed with their mother, making Jazz exhale in exasperation.

  “For the record, she’s not a tramp,” he grumbled, trying to put the focus back on Tessa and his problem. “She’s, though, on vacation only and I have a feeling this is going too fast. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m a guy and all…”

  “You might be a guy, but always remember, guys have hearts, too, Jesse, and the heart wants what it wants when it wants. And usually that little organ knows pretty fast what it wants. I have a feeling yours wants a certain foreign lady and that’s okay. What are you worried about? Losing it? Because, I fear, for that it’s too late,” his mother said matter-of-factly.

  “She’s going back, mom, and I’m going to be deployed in March. We aren’t even living on the same continent,” he whispered.

  “So what is it you want us to tell you?” his mother asked and he thought for a moment, but couldn’t think of the words he wanted to hear.

  “Let me tell you something, okay?” his mom suggested and he agreed, taking another deep breath.

  “I raised you to be a man that always follows his heart. That means you’re doing what you believe is right and true. It concerns your feelings of honor and duty, but it reaches further than that. I raised you to believe, too, that there’s something good out there for you. What is it your heart tells you right now?”

  “Tank is an ass,” he finally admitted, because that was what his heart was thinking.

  “Why?” Kristine asked.

  “He told me that this is getting too serious too soon and that I should stop seeing her because it cannot work. And it can’t, but I don’t think that should keep me from her, should it?”

  “I think it shouldn’t keep you from anything, but how much will it hurt?” his sister wanted to know.

  To that Jazz didn’t answer simply because he had a feeling Tessa would leave a pretty big hole in his heart if she wasn’t ready to try for something more.

  “There’s no way this could work out?” his mother asked, obviously knowing exactly what his silence meant.

  “Maybe I should try and come up with something,” he gave back, but his mother sighed.

  “Consider talking to her to make sure it’s what she wants, and then you call us back and we’ll help you find a solution to keep the girl and your heart, huh?” Kristine suggested and Jazz had to smile.

  All in all he was glad that he had called his sister, because even though he knew now that Tessa already meant more to him, he knew, too, that maybe he should change his ways with her and try for something he had never thought he wanted: a happy ever after.

  Chapter Ten

  Tessa had just gotten out her kindle when there was a knock on the door. It was Wednesday and they had decided to have a quiet day and just give everyone the room they wanted. Hanging out with five girls in one house could be pretty annoying and Tessa liked the thought of reading all day. Obviously though someone felt like talking and not spending time alone.

  "Come in," she called and then sat up in the bed cross-legged. It was Aimie.

  "Hey, I..." Her friend took a deep breath.

  "You?" Tessa asked, giving her a smile.

  "I talked to Evy last night. Like ... it was more of a fight really. Because she was going to try and keep you here since she thinks you’re falling in love with Jazz and will be torn apart at home. I disagree because I want you to see Jazz. The way he made you smile was right, and the romantic in me wants to make sure that you know you should see him."

  "I can't go back home and be broken. I know how it'll be once we’re back and Evy realizes that she couldn't leave her problems behind. I need to find a job and she needs someone to support her. We need to move in together because I know that it saves money and it will make her feel better since she's not alone."

  Aimie watched her for a long moment. "Did you ever consider talking to Jazz about the porssibilities? Like a long-distance-relationship?" Obviously Aimie had no intention of a topic change.

  Tessa had considered it up until Jazz had texted her that he couldn't risk his job because of her. The way it had sounded he sure wasn't in it for a relationship or even love.

  "To be honest, I am not sure I want this because I couldn't deal with missing him all the time. And the time difference ... how would we ever manage to really talk? We couldn't chat because whenever he has time I'm either asleep or, hopefully, at work. Besides, I saved up years for this trip. How am I going to pay one trip per year? And seeing him only once a year ... it’s not really an option for me, you know?"

  "I know, but don't you think there is one argument actually speaking for this? One big thought that should make you consider it?" Aimie wanted to know and Tessa picked up a brow.

  "Jazz isn't like all the other guys, Tess. I have a feeling he can make it happen. He'd probably give his nights up for you, if that would be all it took," her friend explained.

  "Aimie, I'm trying to do the rational thing here, think with my head and nothing else," Tessa whispered.

  "Do the heart thing, Tessa. Listen to your heart. Do it for all the romantics in this world. Do it for me! It's the only true possibility there is," Aimie insisted.

  "What if he doesn't want it? Ever considered that?" Tessa asked and Aimie let herself fall back on Tessa's bed.

  "I don't consider bullshit like that," Aimie announced and Tessa had to laugh.

  "He said we could meet tonight. I know he didn't write me yet. I might ask around lunch and then I'll go from there. Because I'm not gonna throw myself at him if he doesn't want it, you know?" she whispered and Aimie picked up a brow.

  "Okay," she eventually said, "one more thing though. I know this will hurt when you go back, and even though I don't want that for you, it would always make you wonder. Don't make yourself regret this. Besides ... I need to live it all through you, okay?"

  "We'll find you a guy," Tessa promised, lying down next to Aimie.

  "I sure hope you know what you’re talking about because he needs to be hot, sweet, adventurous, good in bed and I want to have sex with him in crazy places. Oh, and he needs to talk to me until I come out of my shy shell," Aimie demanded and Tessa coughed out a laugh.

  "I'm glad you don't have any ideas about your dream guy," she grinned and Aimie shrugged.

  "What should yours be like? Every woman has a certain type of guy that will make her go panty-less just because you want to be ready all the time."

  "I need to feel that I am the only thing that matters in the world. I want him to be all sweet and gentle, but yet ready to try something new. I want him to look at me and know what I feel. I want a guy that women look at, but who doesn't see them, you know?" Tessa explained and Aimie pushed herself onto her elbows.

  "I'd say you are easy to satisfy, but I’m not sure a guy can be that perfect," she replied, looking doubtful, but Tessa just smiled quietly to herself.

  Tessa's mood soured over the course of the next hours. Even though Jazz had mentioned that he’d be busy a lot, he still had talked about meeting up. It wasn’t that she checked her phone all five minutes, yet part of her had hoped that maybe, just maybe he’d still message her about seeing him. Taking a step back didn’t mean you couldn’t see each other at all anymore, right?

  "I'm sorry, but guys are assholes. I told you that before. We'll make you forget
all about him though," Hilary promised as if she was privy to Tessa’s thoughts.

  They had just sat down for dinner, some chicken and salad, but Tessa wasn't hungry at all. No matter how hard she had tried to keep herself from thinking about the evening, she had been sure he'd show up in the driveway sooner rather than later. As it was, she missed seeing him. Hell, she even missed hearing his voice or getting a message from him.

  Placing her cell on the table, she grabbed her fork, only to drop it when her phone started vibrating relentlessly.

  "And here comes the absolutely sincere apology," Hilary said smugly, as Tessa picked up.

  "Hey," she said softly and met silence for a long moment. Surprisingly enough all of the girls held their breaths, too, making the quiet even more prominent.

  "I can't drive anymore, I had some shots. I'm sorry I can't see you today," Jazz finally mumbled and Tessa's heart stopped because he sounded devastated.

  "What's wrong, Jazz?" she wanted to know, getting up because she wanted some privacy.

  "Nothing that should affect me anymore. One of the guys I had basic training with fell while being away," he explained, his voice shaking as if he was trying hard to hold back his tears.

  "Are you drunk?" she wanted to know.

  "No, I had just two shots to him, I promise, but still, I shouldn't drive," he answered. "The guys and I are sitting together. It's ... not a good time. I need to get back, Tess. I swear to you I will call you tomorrow, okay? I just called to say..." He paused and Tessa thought she might collapse from the lack of oxygen since she held her breath. "... we'll meet soon," he then finished and Tessa exhaled.

  "You can always call me, Jazz," she gave back and then told him bye.

  She hung up, staring at her phone. Her heart beat in her chest as if it was ready to burst out and run right to him.

  "Take Hils’ car, Tessa. I think you should go and see him," Em-Jay said after a long moment and Tessa looked up, relief pouring through her.

  "I agree with Emma. I think he really wanted to see you, but luckily he's being responsible. And sometimes guys just need a good drink,” Aimie admitted and Tessa couldn’t help but wonder if her phone was that loud.