Inescapable

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘You met Rosie at your launch?’ He pinched the brow of his nose and started to laugh, which only made my scowl deepen. ‘It all makes sense now.’

  ‘What’s so damn funny? And what makes sense? None of this makes sense.’

  ‘I promise to tell you one day, but now isn’t the time,’ he replied, tapping on his watch, then lifting it to his mouth. ‘Amanda, can you ask Sarah to watch Rosie for a while? I need you to come down to the jetty. There’s a misunderstanding that I need cleared up in person please … Yes, immediately … No, you’re not in trouble, please just do as I ask.’

  ‘Who’s Amanda?’ I asked quietly, suddenly feeling as if I might have completely the wrong end of the stick here. I frantically tried to wrack my brains as to what that beautiful little girl of his had said to me when I’d found her close to tears in my gallery, with that tatty teddy bear dangling from her hand. The very same one she’d been clutching when Castle took me into her room last night to show me her sleeping.

  ‘Amanda is Rosie’s nanny and private tutor. After losing Imogen, I moved us out of London to live here, supposedly temporarily. In part it was because I needed time to grieve, in part I needed to shield Rosie from the media attention around Imogen’s death. I cut back on work, and gave her as much of my time as I was able, but even with doing less hours, it was soon apparent that I needed help with her. Not to mention, I wasn’t in a position to adequately continue with her home schooling. When I decided that living here permanently was best for both of us, I hired Amanda.’

  ‘She’s the nanny?’ I asked, a wave of relief washing over me. Relief and embarrassment.

  ‘Yes. As well as spending my early mornings and the weekends with her, I always put Rosie to bed and read her a story, which is why I’m occasionally late for our dinners. Once I’d told her that I’d been having a guest to eat with me, she got over excited. Other than family I don’t invite anyone to stay, let alone join me for dinner in the house. She’s a nosey little thing and so naturally her curiosity was peaked. By all accounts Amanda had a tough time settling her back down while we were eating last night.’

  ‘Please call her back and tell her that she doesn’t need to come all of the way down here. I feel so foolish now,’ I admitted, biting my lower lip. Rosie had never actually said Amanda was her mum. I’d assumed it. “She left” were the words she’d used when I asked where her mum was. I’d assumed she’d meant the gallery, but children could be so literal. Her mum had left. Permanently.

  ‘I’d prefer no doubt in your mind that I’m not lying or playing games with you, Alex. I’ve never shared so much of my personal life with anyone since Imogen’s death. I decided to show you Rosie, as she’s the most important person in my life. Anyone considering getting involved with me has to know that she comes as part of the package.’

  ‘She’s your angel,’ I smiled, as everything started to click into place. ‘That’s the nickname you’ve given your daughter and whose name appears on your watch when she calls.’

  ‘Yes,’ he confirmed, with a soft and adoring smile on his face.

  ‘And that’s why you’re so good at smiley-faced pancakes for breakfast. You cook for her?’

  ‘Most weekends yes, but I didn’t lie, I grew proficient in creating them for my sister’s kids first.’

  ‘And your scar?’ I asked, lifting my gaze up to it. He smiled and reached up to run a finger over it.

  ‘Courtesy of Rosie. I made the mistake of taking her favourite teddy bear away the night before her fifth birthday last year, thinking it was time it was thrown away. When she refused to stop crying and tearing her bedroom apart the next morning looking for the ugly damn thing, I told her that he’d gone to teddy bear heaven. She responded by throwing a rare tantrum and when I bent down to try and comfort her, I gashed myself on the silver and crystal princess tiara she was wearing.’

  ‘Your macho scar is from a fight with a toddler in a tiara?’ I giggled, the giggle quickly turning into full-blown laughter. Castle looked somewhat embarrassed.

  ‘I thought when you knew I was a single father, it would counteract the cool points I’d lose by telling you how I got my scar.’

  ‘So, last night you were really just using your daughter in an effort to look even hotter and help you get laid?’

  ‘No, but I admit I hoped it would engender more trust in me, to know that I have a daughter that I love and would do anything for.’

  ‘Including giving her back Bear. I met him too.’

  ‘I think she’ll love that damn bear to his grave. She won’t let anyone try and take him away to patch him up.’

  ‘He was a gift from her mum, wasn’t he?’ I asked, not needing him to confirm it, but he did anyway.

  ‘How did you know?’

  ‘Because when I lost my parents, I didn’t want to let anything they’d given me out of my reach. It was my only connection to them. I had a stuffed penguin called Peter that they’d given to me one Christmas, I loved him so much. One day she won’t be so dependent on Bear, but she’ll probably want to keep him close by for life.’

  ‘You still have your penguin?’

  ‘No,’ I replied with a sigh as I looked down at my paintbrush, which had dried out with fine grains of golden sand from the jetty stuck to the sky blue I’d been using. ‘He was one of my few treasured possessions that went with me to America, along with a picture of me with my best friend, and I never saw them again from the moment I left Glasgow.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said softly.

  ‘I’m sorry, for reacting so badly last night and not staying to talk to you about my assumptions like an adult.’ I looked back up at him, holding his gaze to let him see that I was being sincere. ‘It means a lot that you trust me enough to invite me into your life. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough to give you the benefit of the doubt.’

  ‘You’re a work in progress, Alex, I get that. But if there’s anything you want to know moving forwards, ask me, okay?’

  ‘Okay,’ I agreed.

  ‘My rules for visiting the house still apply. Rosie’s protection is my primary concern.’

  ‘I understand. She’s had enough loss in her life. She’s such a beautiful little girl, Castle.’

  ‘I think so, but then I’m biased. Here comes Amanda, ask anything you want to put your mind at rest that I mean it when I say there’s no one other than my daughter in my life. I’ll leave you to your painting and I hope that your session with Ester later goes well.’

  ‘Will I see you later?’ I asked, hope filling my voice. Hope that until a few minutes ago I didn’t think I’d ever feel again.

  ‘That all depends on you, Tiger,’ he replied with a quirk of his lips. The ball was in my court again, but was I strong enough to serve an ace and win?

  ‘Seriously, what’s your code name?’ I asked as Amanda drew closer.

  ‘Python, no explanation needed.’ He winked and shot me a grin as I laughed again. It felt so good to laugh after feeling so hurt all night.

  ‘What can I do for you, Mr. Castle?’ Amanda asked as she stepped up to join us on the floating platform, showing no signs of recognising me from our brief meeting the other month.

  ‘I’d like you to tell Miss Bishop how we met and how you came to be on the island, then answer truthfully any questions she might ask you, then you’re free to get back to work. I’ll take my leave of you both.’

  Castle cast me a lingering smile, as Amanda played eyeball tennis between us trying to work out the reason for the strange request.

  Castle

  ‘Daddy please,’ Rosie begged as she bounced up and down on her bed, dressed in her favourite Frozen nightgown. She was showing no signs of tiredness, or any indication that she was going to give in without a fight. It was my own fault. I shouldn’t have told her that the guest in the beach house was Alex, or that I’d been invited to go down and have dinner with her tonight.

  ‘No, Angel, not yet. Come on, it’s past your bedtime and it’s rude for
me to keep her waiting.’

  ‘But I want to see her.’

  ‘One day, but not today. Into bed please.’

  ‘Don’t want to.’ She stuck out her lower lip in a well-practiced pout as she stopped jumping and folded her arms across her chest, making me sigh. I wasn’t going anywhere in a hurry. My adorable daughter knew exactly what strings to pull to bend me to her will.

  ‘Daddy’s flying to Tortola tomorrow, if you go to bed like a good girl, he’ll let you come. We’ll go shopping together.’ I waited with bated breath as she stared at me and started to chew on her lips, considering my proposal.

  ‘I can sit with you, in front?’

  ‘I’ll put you in the co-pilot’s seat,’ I agreed, feeling a flicker of hope that I might get down to my dinner date with Alex in minutes.

  ‘We go shopping?’

  ‘Yes.’ This was looking more promising by the second.

  ‘The toy store?’

  ‘Yes. So, what do you say? Bed?’ I asked, holding my breath as her big blue eyes held mine. I could see the cogs whirring in her mind and seconds stretched into what felt like minutes as I waited for her response.

  ‘No! Want to see Alex.’ She started jumping up and down again, Bear’s glassy eyes giving me a silent “Help Me” plea as she clutched his paw, his dangling arm precariously close to becoming detached from his body, which was swinging wildly as she hopped all over her bed like Tigger on steroids.

  ‘Rosie,’ I sighed, rubbing my hands up over my face to cover my eyes. I was used to getting my own way, how was it that a six-year-old was the one dictating the terms in our relationship?

  ‘Daddy,’ she mimicked. My hands fell to my side and I gave her my sternest gaze.

  ‘Bed please,’ I warned her. She returned my look with a wide grin, not intimidated by me at all.

  ‘Want to see Alex,’ she repeated slowly and firmly, the way I did when I was trying to get my point across to her.

  ‘I told you, not yet. And if you don’t get to bed now, I won’t let you see her at all.’

  I reined in a triumphant smile as her face fell. But when she flopped down onto her bottom on the bed, and her pretty eyes started to water, I felt my heart sink.

  ‘Don’t cry, Angel. You know I hate it when you’re upset.’ I sat on the bed and scooped her up, hugging her to my chest as I kissed her hair. She flung her arms around my neck as she snuffled.

  ‘Please, Daddy.’

  ‘It’s too late today. If you’re a good girl I’ll think about it later in the week, okay?’

  ‘Promise?’ Her question made me close my eyes as I took a deep breath. I’d vowed to never let anyone I was interested in meet Rosie until I was positive that we had a future. I’d spent most of the morning discussing my fast-evolving feelings for Alex with Ester again. As ever, she didn’t give me any advice, but questioned me until I gave her the reasons for my behaviour. And I’d come to realise that my reticence at sharing my daughter’s existence wasn’t because I wasn’t ready to move on, it was that I hadn’t met a woman who I’d wanted to move on with. Until now. And just how my business sixth sense had never failed me, I was going to trust in my judgement when it came to the absolute certainty that Alex was meant to be in my life, and that of my daughter. No matter how fast things were moving.

  ‘I promise,’ I whispered, kissing her temple as I prayed I hadn’t just made a huge mistake. ‘Now will you get into bed for me?’

  ‘Okay.’ She sighed, and I stood up and pulled her sheet back and gently lay her down, checking my watch. It was eight-thirty. I was half an hour late for dinner with Alex.

  ‘Sleep now, please,’ I warned as she curled up on her side, nearly decapitating Bear with her arm wrapped tightly around his neck. Christ, he was in urgent need of medical assistance, one of his eyes was about to fall off and there was stuffing coming out of an ear, as well as the threadbare hole in his stomach.

  ‘Story first, Daddy,’ she reminded me. I wondered if there would ever be a time that my daughter wouldn’t be the one in control in our relationship.

  ‘It’s a good job that I love you, Rosie Castle.’

  ‘I love you, too, Daddy. You’re my favouritist person in the whole wide world,’ she whispered, melting my heart, and my resolve, as I reached for her current favourite book. Dinner with Alex would have to wait.

  ‘And you’re mine, Angel,’ I told her, bending down to kiss her forehead. Though a certain dark-haired woman, with blue eyes to rival my daughter’s, was fast becoming another of my favourites.

  It was almost nine-thirty as I knocked on Alex’s door, feeling like a teenager who was picking up his high school crush for the prom. Barely five weeks ago, Alex Bishop had been nothing but an artist whose work I admired. Now she was in my life, my home, and my head. And I was pretty sure she’d also taken up residence in my heart.

  Five weeks. Five weeks had taken me from a single father with no intention of ever settling down with a woman again, to a man who suddenly saw a future filled with everything he’d once had, then lost. My business relied on me making snap decisions, risking millions of pounds in an instant, on a piece of land or a property, but I’d never made impulsive decisions in my personal life. Not with my heart, certainly not any decision that could affect my daughter’s. But here I was, feeling like my ability to breathe would cease if she didn’t open the damn door in the next thirty seconds.

  I was about to knock again, even harder, when it opened a fraction and her blue eyes appeared in the crack.

  ‘Castle?’ She sounded surprised. Hardly surprising if she thought I’d stood her up.

  ‘I’m so sorry I’m late, one of the perils of fatherhood.’

  ‘I understand, but I thought you weren’t coming. You didn’t text or call.’

  ‘I guess I’m a work in progress, too. I’m not used to having to keep anyone updated, the staff know on the rare occasion I’m running behind that it’s because of Rosie. Am I too late?’

  ‘No,’ she answered, still not opening the door.

  ‘So, are you going to let me in then?’

  ‘I got changed when I thought you weren’t coming, I’m in my slouchy T-shirt that I sometimes wear for bed.’

  ‘You can always leave me standing here, if it makes you more comfortable, to go and get changed again,’ I offered, when really I wanted nothing more than to see her right now whatever the hell she was wearing.

  ‘I guess it’s only like a mini-dress.’

  I suppressed a groan at the thought and watched her eyes do a slow scan of herself, as if she was checking she was actually decent enough. The door slowly opened to reveal her looking fresh faced, bare of any makeup, wearing a white T-shirt that hung off one shoulder and stopped mid-thigh. Her legs were crossed to protect her modesty and one of her bare feet repeatedly tapped the floor in a nervous gesture as I raked my eyes down her form. I doubted in a clinging mini-dress, done up for a night out in London, she could look any sexier than she did right now.

  ‘Is dinner in the dog?’ I asked, trying to lighten the tension.

  ‘No.’ She smiled, her nose crinkling in that cute way it did whenever she smiled or laughed. ‘But I’ve already had mine I’m afraid. Come on in.’

  ‘I don’t blame you for not waiting, I’m ravenous.’ I just wasn’t sure if it was for food, or her. Maybe a combination. I was known for my appetite in all areas. I headed inside and went to stand at the closed bi-fold doors to look out at the dimly lit decking, giving her a chance to close up and go and change if she wanted to. I cracked a smile when I saw her hastily rearranging her T-shirt and pulling on the hem, in the reflection of the window. I still made her nervous, but not nervous enough that she didn’t feel safe alone in my company.

  ‘Can I get you a glass of wine?’ she asked, heading in the direction of the kitchen. I followed her in.

  ‘No, thank you. I promised Rosie a trip to Tortola tomorrow, I never drink the night before I fly.’

  ‘You seem too perfec
t, Tate Castle. You must have some vices, surely?’

  ‘Well, I’m looking at a current addiction,’ I murmured quietly, not expecting her to whip her head around to look at me with a blush on her cheeks. I needed to make a mental note that she had exceptional hearing. Not to mention exceptional legs.

  ‘We’ve only known each other just over a month.’

  ‘I know that,’ I agreed, as she poured us both a glass of water. ‘Tell me that you don’t feel like we’ve known each other for ever though?’

  ‘I didn’t come here looking to get personal, Castle.’

  ‘I know that too. I didn’t expect to want to get personal, but here we are.’

  ‘Here we are.’ She handed me my water and stood staring at me as I slowly sipped it. ‘Are you going to kiss me again?’

  ‘Do you want me to kiss you again?’

  ‘Yes,’ she replied without hesitation, biting down on her lip the way I longed to.

  ‘Excellent.’ I grinned and continued to drain my glass achingly slowly, every gulp killing me, when all I wanted to do was drag her into my arms and make her sigh with pleasure the way she did last night. Her eyes widened in surprise as I set the glass down and folded my arms across my chest.

  ‘Kissing,’ she whispered, wetting her lips as she watched mine. I wasn’t able to stop my eyes from dropping to her chest, which was heaving under her T-shirt. She was braless, and her nipples pebbled against the thin material, which made my cock lengthen and harden. Showing restraint with this woman was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do, but in those times, I recalled the images I’d seen of her battered face in the police reports, and it reminded me just how delicately I needed to tread with her.

  ‘Waiting for you to make it happen, Tiger,’ I said softly. She blinked a few times, with a look of confusion on her face. I had to be patient, the fact that she trusted me enough to be in this room alone with her was incredible after what she’d been through. When she knotted her fingers in front of her and looked as if she was going to cry again, I knew it was time to distract her. ‘So, what did you cook for me?’