The Lost Sister

by Tracy Buchanan

  She matches his smile. ‘I think there’s more chance of you succumbing to cave monsters, what with you not being able to run and all.’

  He shoots her a thumbs up. ‘Gee, thanks for that!’

  As she jogs out into the narrow passage, she hears the echo of his laughter. Anyone else might make a big deal of having an injury like his, but Kai’s taking it in his stride. She likes that quality in people, no drama, no fuss. She’s been told she’s like that too, no drama. Her ex Gus told her it was her way of rebelling against her mum’s dramas. Maybe he was right?

  As she drops a chocolate button on the floor, she wonders what Idris is like. Did he have a penchant for high drama too? And what did that mean for Solar as she grew up with him? Becky remembers feeling like she was at sea with her mum sometimes, calm moments mixed in with the storms.

  As she thinks that, her headtorch starts flickering. She slows down and taps it, relieved when it returns to normal. Her phone is in her bag, the same bag Kai’s head is resting on, so it isn’t like she could use that for light.

  She gets to a T-junction to see a dark narrow path leading to the right, a wider and lighter one to the left. The icy ceiling here is like a cracked sheet above her. She’d like to go down the lighter passage, but she remembers Iskar saying the passages leading into the grotto with the princess’s inscription were super narrow. So it makes sense they’d have gone down the narrow one. She takes a deep breath then starts jogging down it, the light from her torch bouncing up and down in front of her.

  Then it starts flickering again.

  She stops jogging, tapping it. But the flickering continues.

  ‘Damn,’ she hisses.

  She pulls her helmet off to examine it but loses grip due to her thick gloves and it tumbles to the ground, the light from its torch swivelling around the passageway like a strange ice disco ball. Then the light cuts out, plunging Becky into complete darkness.

  She feels panic flood her chest. ‘It’s okay,’ she whispers to herself, taking deep breaths. ‘You’ll be okay.’ She slowly crouches down, feeling around the floor for her helmet. She finds it, tapping the torch again.

  No luck.

  She shakes the hat. Still no luck.

  ‘Useless,’ she hisses, putting it back on her head anyway. At least if the ceiling falls down on top of her, that part of her will be protected.

  ‘What next?’ she whispers into the darkness.

  She could head back to get Kai’s torch. It was reasonably light in the grotto for him. But that would mean going back to square one in complete darkness, a good ten minutes or so. She could just plough on – the rest of the group can’t be far, surely?

  Becky places her hand on the cold bumpy walls and slowly puts one foot in front of the other, feeling her way carefully through the pitch black. But after ten minutes of doing that, she’s still no closer to any new turnings or grottos, and the path seems to be getting narrower and narrower, her shoulders scraping the walls either side, her hard hat bumping against the icy ceiling above every now and again, bringing freezing cold shards of ice down over her.

  She starts to feel panic bubble inside again. What if she’s gone down the wrong passage, and it leads nowhere? She could be walking for hours. The cave system was huge! Kai was right, this was a stupid idea.

  She stops, gulping in deep breaths.

  Then she imagines her mum, right beside her, her hand on her shoulder. ‘You’ll be fine,’ she imagines her saying. ‘You’ve got this, Becks. If you can help a horse give birth to a foal in the middle of a pitch-black field in the dead of winter, you can do this.’

  ‘You’re right,’ Becky whispers back. ‘I can.’

  She takes a deep determined breath then continues walking, both hands flat against the walls either side of her, elbows tucked to her side. Just as she’s about to give up, she hears the distant sound of voices.

  It’s the rest of the group!

  As she thinks that she feels something in front of her. She reaches her hand out tentatively, feeling wood.

  ‘This is good,’ she says to herself. ‘Surely this is good?’

  She feels upwards, touching more wood. A ladder? She reaches down. Yes, more wooden steps below her too.

  ‘This must lead somewhere, Mum,’ she says. She stops, realising what she’s saying. Tears prick her eyelashes. Maybe her mum is here, watching her, giving her strength, doing all she couldn’t do when she lived. She’d always thought her mum was weak, selfish. But she’d gone to live in a cave, given up everything, hadn’t she? Wasn’t there some courage in that? A different kind of courage than Becky could possibly understand, but still. Becky takes in a deep breath, drawing strength from that thought.

  Then she lifts her leg, placing her foot carefully on the first rung of the ladder, hand grasping the rung above. She pulls herself up slowly, carefully.

  The ladder creaks then sways slightly.

  Becky stills, waiting until it stops. When it does, she continues up the ladder until she feels new air on her face. She takes a breath of relief. She can see the outline of a stone boulder above her, so she grabs onto it and hauls herself up. It’s still dark, but the darkness has changed in quality and she sees why: there are large white ice crystals above.

  She looks ahead into the semi-darkness. It’s a small space with wooden planks stretched across narrow caverns. She thinks of what the others said about the passages and grottos around here being unsafe. Should she risk it?

  She peers behind her. She’s come all this way, hasn’t she? And there, in the distance, the sound of voices growing louder. It gives her new resolve. She shouts out, but there’s no answer. So she pulls herself up and sits on the ledge, peering down into the abyss. The wooden plank below is cracked in places and it creaks under her weight. No, there’s no way she can cross it. She’ll need to go back!

  She looks up at the vast ceiling in exasperation and something catches her eye: there’s an inscription in the stone. She taps her torch again and it flickers on. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me, now you decide to work?’ she says, shaking her head.

  She reads the inscription. There are some symbols she can’t make out then a date and a name in an alphabet familiar to her.

  1914. Louise.

  That was it – the princess’s inscription Iskar had mentioned!

  Then another tiny inscription catches her eye, partially hidden by a protruding piece of rock. She holds onto the wooden pillar for support, crouching down to get a better look.

  It has Idris’s name on it.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Becky

  Kungar Ice Caves, Russia

  3 July 2018

  Becky can make out only some vague words. Idris. Solar. Then a year: 2001. There seems to be another name too but it’s undecipherable. She brushes her thumb over the inscription. Maybe Idris had simply brought Solar here to see the inscription. She would have been about nine. A nine-year-old girl would have liked that, seeing a princess’s inscription, and making one of her own.

  More voices sound out in the distance.

  ‘Iskar!’ Becky calls out, her voice booming around the cavern. ‘Hannah! Ed!’

  Silence.

  Then a voice comes back to her. ‘Becky?’ It’s Hannah.

  ‘Kai’s hurt his ankle, he can’t walk!’ she calls back.

  ‘Dork,’ she hears Ed mutter. She smiles to herself.

  ‘We have to come back anyway,’ Iskar’s firm voice shouts. ‘The other entrance is closed. Can you find your way back to Kai?’

  ‘I think so,’ Becky replies. ‘Now my bloody torch is working,’ she adds under her breath.

  ‘See you back there,’ Iskar says.

  ‘Okay!’

  Becky scrambles down and manages to make her way back with less drama now the torch is working. When she returns to the cave, Kai greets her with a raised eyebrow.

  ‘No luck?’

  ‘The path over the cavern was too unstable and I have no caving ge
ar. I managed to call out to them too. They’re coming back. Iskar said the other entrance is blocked.’

  ‘Looks like the evening’s going well then,’ Kai says sarcastically. He reaches into his rucksack, pulling out some biscuits. ‘I found these. Might as well keep ourselves occupied while we wait.’

  Becky sits down, leaning against the cave wall as she takes one of Kai’s biscuits. ‘If you told me a week ago I’d be spending the evening in a cave with a speleologist, I wouldn’t have believed you.’

  ‘You say it like it’s a bad thing.’

  She looks around her. ‘I guess the company’s okay. But the whole cave dwelling thing? Not for me. I prefer fields and countryside.’

  ‘Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.’

  ‘I have. It’s left you with a sprained ankle, maybe even a broken one, and it nearly got me very lost!’

  He laughs. ‘I don’t mind a few broken bones if it means some adventure.’

  ‘I’ve certainly had some adventures the past couple of weeks.’ She pauses, thinking of the inscription. ‘I found something interesting in the cave actually.’

  ‘Oh yeah?’

  She tells Kai about the inscription Solar and Idris had made.

  ‘Maybe he brought her here to see the princess’s inscription then. I doubt they lived here.’

  ‘That’s what I’m thinking. There were other words too but I couldn’t quite see them. Maybe other Children of the Current members.’

  Kai frowns. ‘Children of the Current?’

  ‘The name of Idris’s cult.’

  ‘You really think it was a cult?’

  She takes a bite of her biscuit. ‘The way people who knew Idris talked about him certainly makes it sound like he wielded this weird power. Who knows …’

  ‘So what next?’ Kai asks Becky.

  ‘I’m going to the local library Caden told me about. I might have a better chance of finding records for Solar there. I’ll ask around, see if I can track her down. Then I’m going back home,’ she adds with a contented sigh.

  ‘You look happy about that.’

  ‘Yeah, all this digging into the past is wearing me down a bit. I need to start looking forward.’

  Kai examines her face. ‘And what does looking forward mean for you?’

  ‘I don’t know really. Work. The dogs.’

  ‘Just you and them?’

  ‘There’s more to my life than the dogs, you know! I have my dad, even if he is a few hundred miles away. I have friends, including the odd speleologist or two,’ she adds, jogging her shoulder into his.

  ‘Ah, so we’re friends now, are we?’

  ‘Maybe. It depends if you give me your last biscuit.’ He hands it to her and she laughs. ‘I was only kidding. Here,’ she says, snapping it in half and handing him the other piece.

  ‘Okay,’ he continues. ‘So you have your dad, who lives ages away. You have friends. And you have dogs.’ His face turns serious. ‘Is that enough for you?’

  ‘Of course it is! God, you sound like my friend Kay. I don’t need a man in my life to be happy, you know.’

  ‘I’m not talking about a man! I’m talking about having a deeper connection. You said yourself you didn’t get on with your mum. Maybe your search for your sister isn’t just about finding someone you’re related to. Maybe it’s about finding someone you can share your life with – other than those dogs of yours.’

  She frowns. Is he right?

  They hear voices and both look up to see Iskar jogging in, looking out of breath, Hannah and Ed behind her.

  ‘Why’s the other entrance blocked off?’ Kai asks.

  Iskar shrugs. ‘Locked. Lev told me it would be open.’

  ‘What happened to you then, mate?’ Ed asks Kai, walking over.

  ‘He slipped on the ice,’ Becky explains.

  ‘Finally, he will find his prince!’ Hannah says.

  ‘I keep telling you, it’s a princess I want!’ Kai retorts.

  ‘So how did you manage to get to the princess inscription on your own without getting lost?’ Hannah asks Becky.

  Becky tells them all about what happened. A big smile spreads over Hannah’s face. ‘That’s amazing. You did that all without a torch?’

  ‘I had no choice,’ Becky says.

  ‘Okay, you are officially one of us now,’ Hannah says.

  Becky laughs. ‘Near-death experiences make me one of you?’

  ‘That’s the beauty of this profession,’ Kai says. ‘Coming out alive after. We need to celebrate! Any bars around here?’

  ‘You need to get that ankle checked out,’ Becky says.

  ‘Okay, after that,’ Kai replies, shrugging. ‘Come on, let’s get out of here.’

  ‘That might be a bit of a problem,’ Iskar says, looking at her watch. ‘I told Lev we’d be back out by midnight,’ she says. ‘It’s now past midnight. I know Lev, and he will not hang around.’

  ‘When will he come back?’ Hannah asks.

  Iskar shrugs. ‘The first tour starts at eight in the morning.’

  ‘So we’re stuck here all night?’ Becky asks.

  Iskar smiles. ‘Looks like it. But don’t worry, I have something to keep us warm.’ She pulls a large bottle of vodka from her bag and everyone whoops.

  Over the next couple of hours, the group huddle in a circle, drinking the vodka and talking. Becky hears stories of their caving exploits and she shares stories from her life as a vet.

  ‘Another sip?’ Hannah asks, lifting the bottle up. There’s just a third left now and Becky’s head is swimming but she doesn’t care. She rarely drinks but the past couple of weeks call for some alcohol consumption. She’s enjoying the pleasurable burning feeling of the vodka as she drinks it, warming her from the inside out in this freezing place.

  ‘Yep,’ she says, taking it and slugging back a mouthful before handing it to Kai, who’s lying on the ground and staring up at the icy ceiling in drunken awe.

  Becky joins him, her head next to his, feeling a sense of contentment as she stares up at the ice crystals forming a beautiful patchwork above her.

  ‘Maybe it’s not so bad here,’ she slurs. ‘The surreallness of it, the beauty, the feeling. It’s like I’m really part of something.’

  Kai turns his head to look at her. ‘See, I told you you’re just looking to connect.’

  Becky looks around her at the others. They get on so well, are so natural with each other. In a way, they’re their own little cult.

  ‘Did you know,’ Kai says as he points up at the stalactites above, ‘stalactites grow so slowly that when they break, it takes over a human lifetime for the ice to bond again and recover?’

  ‘I did not know that,’ she says.

  ‘Each one is different. Individuals, standing alone despite being clustered together,’ he continues.

  She watches him as he talks. He really is quite attractive. She rolls her eyes. She’s had too much vodka, clearly.

  ‘What?’ Kai asks, moving awkwardly onto his side so he’s facing her.

  ‘Oh, just thinking of how surreal it is, lying in an ice cave with a bunch of strangers.’

  His brow creases. ‘I’m not a stranger.’

  ‘No, you’re not. You know what I mean though?’

  ‘Not really. Some relationships can form in just a few moments, others can take years, just like the ice in this stalagmite.’

  ‘Or people don’t get the chance to bond at all,’ Becky says with a sigh.

  ‘You’re thinking of your sister?’

  Becky nods. ‘My mum too.’

  ‘You’ve never really forgiven her for leaving you, have you?’

  She frowns. ‘It’s not like that. I’m not bitter.’

  ‘Aren’t you?’ Kai asks, his eyes probing hers. ‘No harm admitting it, Becky. I fell apart when my dad left to go back to Jamaica.’

  ‘How old were you?’

  ‘Fourteen. My hormones were all over the place. I rebelled, my poor mum.’ He sighs, shakin
g his head. ‘Fell in with the wrong crowd, got caught up in some trouble. But then this saved me,’ he says, gesturing around him. ‘Caves. I found something to focus on.’

  ‘And I found romance novels, and then animals. Maybe we’re more alike than I thought.’

  Kai smiles. ‘And we’ve only known each other, what, about two weeks? I reckon we’re one of those fast-forming stalactites.’

  They smile at each other. Then there’s the sound of clapping.

  ‘Right, time for some fun,’ Ed says, standing up. ‘One day, Little Johnny visited a cave.’ He then sits down and points to Hannah.

  Hannah stands. ‘Unfortunately, Little Johnny got lost in a grotto in that cave.’ She points at Iskar and sits back down.

  Becky frowns. ‘What are they doing?’ she asks Kai.

  ‘The Unfortunately Fortunately game,’ Kai explains. ‘It’s something we do at night if we’re all staying together, a little ritual I guess. People take it in turns to tell parts of a story, alternating fortunate and unfortunate events.’

  Iskar stands up, the vodka bottle in her hand. ‘But fortunately, Little Johnny found a bottle of vodka in the cave.’

  Iskar points to Kai and he sits up, shrugging as he points to his ankle. ‘Unfortunately, Little Johnny slipped on the icy ground because he was a clumsy oaf,’ he says with a raised eyebrow, ‘and then he dropped the vodka bottle.’

  He points to Becky.

  ‘Oh God,’ Becky says. ‘I’ve never been a good story-teller.’ She thinks of her mum, the award-winning novelist. She’d know how to do this.

  She stands up, closing her eyes as she sees her mum’s pen working over the pages of her notepad. Then she opens her eyes.

  ‘Fortunately, as the temperatures were sub-zero in the ice cave, the vodka froze so Little Johnny could lick the frozen vodka off the floor.’

  Everyone laughs and cheers and she laughs with them, taking a bow and sitting down. As the game continues and they get more drunk and raucous, Becky hugs her knees to her chest, smiling. Was this how her mum felt when she was living in the cave? Part of something? Becky has been alone for so long. Even with her patients and David next door, it isn’t like this. This is special, the bond these people share, the way they live their lives. And in here, in this cave, it somehow enhances that feeling.