Please wait for me.
Hollis
Chapter 21
Hollis
Returning to New York was the last thing I wanted to do, but it also felt like the only thing I could do right now. I had to protect Bowie and his family which were only in this mess because of me. I was as scared of Rex now as I had been ten years ago. It had crossed my mind while thinking of returning to L.A. that something like this could happen but I made the selfish decision and came anyway because where Bowie was concerned, I was selfish. I wanted him in my life. I needed him in my life. Now, my selfish decision had led the entire James family into dangerous territory as if they hadn’t already faced so much.
I was disappointed in myself the most. If I had been stronger after David died then maybe I wouldn’t be in this mess. Maybe, I’d still be living in Missouri but even as I think about it, I know it’s not true. I could only run from my past for so long before it finally caught up. I wanted a future, one that included Bowie but I have to face these monsters first.
Before leaving L.A. I had drained my savings account. It’s not that I liked carrying all of this cash with me but I did like my husband alive. If I had opted to use my bank card, then Bowie would track me down and he was in enough danger with Rex lurking around. He certainly didn’t need to be in New York where he could become a target of the Lucchese family. It had taken every ounce of bravery I had to return here. I didn’t know how Rick Lucchese would react upon seeing me again. Ultimately, I had cost him his son who was supposed to take over the family mob.
I had dressed my part today slipping into five-inch heels, lace stockings and a skin-tight black dress that hit mid-thigh with a plunging neckline. I had slipped on my black leather jacket to cover myself a little more. I added enough bling to catch the attention of who I needed, curled my hair and did my makeup. I stood outside of the club and size it up. This club seems scarier now than it had before, if that is even possible, or maybe I was just more naïve back then. I smoothed my dressed and glossed my lips before heading up to the bouncer.
Once I was inside I had to let my eyes adjust to the darkness of the club. The only light came from the all-glass bar and the spotlights that followed the girls on stage. You would think that the seats were black but really they were red satin. The place reeked of booze, cigarettes, and sex that made my stomach roll. I had to close my eyes to gather my bearings. I can’t believe this had once been my everyday life just a few short years ago. It seemed like a different life entirely now. I twirled my wedding rings while making my way to the VIP section.
As I approached, I saw the recognition flash in Anthony’s eyes. He had helped David and I disappear. My presence here put him in danger even though I would never throw him under the bus. I would deny he ever had anything to do with it and considering he was still standing I doubt there was any proof of his involvement. I stepped forward and Anthony’s green eyes meet mine “What the hell are you doing here?” he hisses at me.
“I need to see Rick.”
He shakes his head before grabbing my arm and pulling me through the club until we are in a small darkened hallway that I don’t remember ever being in before. He pushes me up against the wall, “Are you crazy? If Rick sees you, he’ll demand to see David or kill you.”
I sigh heavily, “He can see David all he wants because he’s in my purse. I had him cremated after he passed away from cancer, his wishes. And Rick can kill me at this point he can get in line. I’d rather him kill me than the other.”
“David’s dead?” he asks shocked. I nod as his sadness and grief filled the small hallway. The emotions filling the hallway become stifling. “Who would want to kill you?”
“Someone from my past, the one I ran away from before I ran away from this life. Rick is literally the only one I can think of to help me.” I wait for Anthony to decide finally he sighs and says okay. He leads me down the hallway to an elevator. We ride up the four floors in silence. Once the elevator stops he turns to me.
“Wait here. I can’t make you any promises about how this will go but I’ll let him know you’re here,” I just nod as I watch him walk away. Anthony disappears down another hallway and I’m left standing in what I assume is a waiting area. There is a black leather sectional with gold everything else, lighting, tables, pillows and so forth. I never did understand the décor choices of the Lucchese family. My palms are sweaty and my heart is pounding. I keep trying to convince myself that this is the best decision no matter what happens but the thought of leaving Bowie is weighing on me. I can’t help but wonder what he’s doing right now. Anthony reappears, “Follow me.”
I follow him down the hallway. The only sound is the clicking of my heels. He opens a door and I see an office. A large, dark wood desk sits facing us with two brown leather chairs in front of it. The walls are lined with pictures and shelves. I don’t bother to take in the rest of the room because my eyes are locked on Rick Lucchese sitting behind his desk as if he’s king of the world.
He looks different from I remember, his dark hair is now salt and pepper. His dark eyes seem wearier than before and his body seems thinner. He has on his signature dark, expensive suit complete with gold cufflinks that I can see sparkling from the doorway. I take a deep breath before I enter. “Well, this is a surprise. Please, have a seat, Rose.”
I cringe when he calls my name because it’s really not my name just the only one he’s known me by. “Actually, it’s Hollis,” he raises his eyebrows, “Rose was my middle name and when I needed a different identity, it made sense to me.”
He looks like he’s laughing but the movement of his shoulders but no sound comes out, “Hollis?”
I nod, “Yes, Hollis Foust but now Hollis James.”
He motions for me to take a seat in one of the two chairs in front of the desk before dismissing Anthony with a wave of his hand. The hair on the back of my neck stands up because I guess a part of me wanted a witness even though I know that would do no good. “I’m guessing this is about my son.”
“Partly,” I take a deep breath trying to find my inner strength, “I’ve wanted to come for some time but I feared what would happen if I did. Mr. Lucchese, I’m not sure how to tell you this but David passed away.”
I watch as my words sink in and even though his demeanor never falters, I can see it in his eyes, this was not the news he was expecting. “How?”
“He got sick, a rare form of Leukemia. The doctors tried but there wasn’t much they could do. It’s been almost three years.” I allow the guilt for not telling him sooner wash over me. I clear my throat that is thick with emotion and bend down to open my bag. I pull out the small urn he picked out before his death. “I did as he wished,” I tell him, as I set the urn on his desk. My heart breaks for David because he never got a life he deserved. He had never wanted the family business. He wasn’t heartless enough to run a mob. Then he had fallen in love with me and despite knowing he only had part of my heart he gave me all of his. David deserved so much more than this. I was beginning to feel like tragedy was following me around like a shadow.
“Thank you, Hollis,” I nod and Rick continues, “I knew he never wanted this life he had been born into and I knew he was smitten with you the first time he laid eyes on you so it didn’t shock me when he ran.”
“I’m sorry things worked out the way they did. I wish you could have been with him in the end. I know he wanted that, but he was too worried about the consequences of our actions to reach out.”
“Well, he wasn’t wrong to worry but my heart has gotten softer with age and the loss of my wife,” he says quietly.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
He gives me a sad smile, “How could you?” He looks down at my hand where I’m still twirling my rings. “You’ve found happiness again?”
I try to smile but it falters, “I did. I got married a few days ago but the past I originally ran from is threatening everything now. That’s another reason I
’m here.”
He sits for a minute while contemplating what I’m saying. Everything could depend on his answer to my unasked question. I need his help but he could easily refuse to give it to me. The time seems to be moving slower than normal. Finally, he lets out a sigh, “Well, David would have wanted me to help you so I’ll consider this his last wish. What do you need?”
I take a deep breath as relief washes over me even though it’s brief because my next statement sends chills over my body. “I need to learn how to kill someone.”
Chapter 22
Bowie
It’s been six weeks since I’ve seen Hollis. I wish I could say that this time around was easier. That I knew what to expect in her absence. That I had figured out some way to go on without feeling the void in my life. I wish I could say all of that. I could plaster on a smile and laugh and carry on like nothing’s wrong but that’d be a lie. I’d just be acting a part for everyone else’s benefit.
The first few weeks I was worried sick over Hollis but I’ve reread her note and think that everything will be okay. That she’ll be back soon but on the fourth week my worry turns to anger. Anger over her leaving. Anger over her not telling me what the hell is going on. Anger over the fact that she knows I’m worried sick but can’t pick up the damn phone.
Today, my anger has turned into grief. I’m literally grieving the loss of her. It feels like she’s really gone this time for good. After ten years we finally got our second chance and to think this is how it’s going to an end. My heart is literally missing from my chest. I gave it to her. I trusted her with it and she ran anyway. She didn’t trust me enough to protect and take care of her. Her absence is everywhere.
I’ve left the tiny apartment we shared. I took Elliott and Calista, the damn stray cat from the shop and moved back to the small house behind my childhood home. I gave Calista to Sadie to look after a while letting Elliott roam the backyard freely. Hollis’ absence is still in my every thought but at least her absence isn’t a knife to my gut in this house as it was in the apartment. My phone chimes and in a flash I open to see the text. I already knew it wouldn’t be Hollis I gave up that hope, but it is Roscoe wanting to know if I want to go out.
In half an hour I’m ready and out the door. If I’m being honest, I don’t actually want to go out tonight I just want the distraction. I need the numbness that the alcohol gives me. However, the alcohol also makes me see red which can be a bad thing. When I pull in front of the little hole in the wall bar, I can already feel that this is a bad idea. Roscoe is crushing on some biker chick so of course, he’d want to come here. Lane is joining us which makes sense considering this is her scene part of the time.
As I enter, I hear Roscoe call out to me. He’s already a little more than buzzed. I stop by the bar and place an order before making my way to the table. Lane is watching me closely which seems to be her normal this past six weeks. I make small talk the best I can throughout the night but it’s draining me. I just want to forget. I just want to make the pain go away.
We’re getting ready to leave when a few guys bump into Roscoe on their way out the door. Roscoe was never one for confrontation so he lets it slide while bending down to pick up his wallet. However, I’m not so kind. “Hey, ass butt!” I call out to the two guys. I should probably stop binge-watching Supernatural in Hollis’ absence as well.
The smaller guy turns around and glares at me, “What did you say?”
I take a step forward, “You heard me unless you left your hearing aid at home old man along with your cane since you can’t seem to walk without falling into people. The least you could have done was acknowledge him,” I say with a shove.
He comes back at me and shoves which causes me to laugh. “What the hell is your problem?”
I’m back in his face, “You!” I say, pushing my finger into his chest. I hear mumbled curses coming from the directions of my friends but it’s too late, fists are already flying.
****
I awake under flickering fluorescent lights on a metal bench… behind a set of bars. I cringe inwardly because this has to be at least the eighth time since Hollis’ disappearance. You would think I would have learned by now that going out always leads to a fight. I keep thinking that if Hollis hears about all the trouble, I’m getting into that she’ll come running back to talk me out of it, just like before. Only she never does. Axell or Jagger shows up every time to bail me out after Officer Sully arrests me and calls them. He was a friend of our dads and knows my situation so he tries to give me a break.
“Bowie,” he calls out and I turn my head to see his weary eyes or at least they look weary from the one eye I can see out of. “Axell’s here,” I try to sigh but my whole body hurts.
Once we are outside the local jail Axell lays into me as usual but I don’t hear it. I’ve learned not to digest it. I let it go in one ear and out the other because what’s the point. He doesn’t get it. So much of what’s going on now is just like the first time. Her absence brings out the side of me that just doesn’t care. They all thought I was crazy before because I did whatever I wanted but really I was just trying to find something. That something was the missing piece. He doesn’t understand that Hollis is gone, and she was my missing piece all along.
Chapter 23
Missing Piece
Hollis
When I stir from sleep, I feel a body pressed against mine in a confined space. I try to open my eyes but they feel tired and dry. I squint against the bright sunlight to see Bowie’s sleeping face. I take in my surroundings and realize that I’m in the back seat of his car. The memories come flooding back, the flashing lights, the yellow tape, the cops and the three body bags. My chest constricts at the thought of one body bag in particular. I disentangle myself from Bowie and quietly make my way from the car.
We are parked in our field. I take a moment to absorb the sunshine and its warmth. My entire body feels cold, tired and numb. I take a deep breath in hopes of releasing the constriction in my chest but it only makes it worse. A lump forms in my throat and my eyes have pinpricks in the back of them. You’d think the human body would eventually run out of tears but apparently not.
A set of arms come around my waist as the sob that was building escapes me. Bowie turns me to face him, pressing me to his chest and allowing me to use his shirt as a home for my tears just like he did last night. He doesn’t say anything because we both know there isn’t anything to say. If Bowie hadn’t come into my life, I would have faced this alone or been in a body bag myself. At the moment I feel like I deserve to be in one. I was supposed to protect Alex, and that thought alone creates a whirlwind of emotions within me. After my crying slows, Bowie pulls me away from his chest enough to see my face. His hands move the hair that is wet and stuck, “We probably need to go to my parents. They’ll know what to do.”
“Didn’t you tell them last night?” I ask. I was slightly out of my mind but I do remember going to his house after leaving mine.
He shakes his head, “They were asleep, and I didn’t want to wake my mom so I told Axell but I’m sure he woke our dad to tell him.”
“Bowie, I know you want to do something but I don’t think there is anything that you can do,” I tell him, my voice barely above a whisper.
He runs his hands through his hair and a scowl graces his face, “Damn it, Hollis, don’t do this. Don’t shut down on me. I’m going to protect you.”
His words cut me like a knife even though I know they aren’t meant to. I retreat from his embrace and the look on his face looks as if he’s been slapped, “Protect me? You want to protect me?”
He takes a step toward me but I take one back, “Of course baby, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
I scoff, “I don’t deserve protection!”
A pained look comes over him, “How can you say that?”
“Because I deserve to be in one of those body bags! I was supposed to protect him and I didn’t! I left him there!
” I scream into the empty field.
Bowie starts to shake his head but when I go to speak he cuts me off “No!” he bellows as he closes the space between us. When he’s close enough, he grabs my upper arms and forces me to look at him. “First of all, it wasn’t your place to protect him, it was your parents but even if it was your place how would you know that this would happen? Nothing ever happens at your house on Thursday. We had worked out the schedule. There was no way to know this would happen. I can’t even begin to imagine how you’re feeling right now. I’d take the pain away if I could but I never ever want to hear you say you deserve to be in a body bag because of your parent’s decisions. No one deserves that.” His tone is hard but his eyes show his own sadness and grief. He pulls me back into him and kisses the top of my head. “Let’s go to my parents.” I simply nod.
As we round the corner coming up to his house, I see the cop car sitting across the street, no doubt they are waiting for me. I grab Bowie’s forearm and he quickly fixes the car to head straight instead, “They’ll put me in the system and we all know how that will go. My parents and their life choices will probably seem like a cake walk compared to some of those nightmares.”
“Baby, my parents will take you in. You don’t have to go into the system,” he tells me. I look at our surroundings and I feel the tears fighting to break free again. How did my life get to this point? Bowie and I are sitting in the parking lot of a convenience store trying to figure out our next move. “Are you hungry?” I guess I nod because the next thing I know Bowie is out of the car.
Force of Impact (The James Brothers Series Book 3) Page 13
