Fool and Her Honey (9781622860791)

by Matthews, Kimberly T.

  “Being aware of your surroundings and looking for dirt are two different things.” Celeste concentrated her eyes on me with raised brows.

  “I say more power to you. If there is dirt to be found, find it before it attacks and kills you. You’ve heard about people getting sick because their house is full of mold and they didn’t know it. An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure,” Candis said, rolling her eyes.

  “Finding dirt is not prevention, Candis,” Celeste said. “Finding dirt means the damage is done, and that’s the part Dina doesn’t know yet.”

  And it was the not knowing that was killing me. It worried me all that night and throughout the next day, while I was at work.

  Bertrand was in the driveway, washing his car, when I got home from work, and I found it hard to look at him. My mind was completely consumed with his possible infidelity. All I could think about was the panties I found, who they belonged to, and why they’d been in his possession.

  “Hey, babe,” he called, playfully flicking the water hose my way, but he knew better than to wet my hair.

  “Hey.”

  Bertrand dropped the hose and came over to peck me on the lips, which I allowed, but it felt all wrong.

  “How was work?” he asked.

  “Long, as usual. Let me get changed.” After digging in folks’ hair all day, the first thing I always wanted to do once I got home was scrub their germs and bits of hair off of me.

  While I was in the shower, I thought through how my next conversation with Bertrand should go. I had to confront him, or else it was going to eat me up inside. I could already feel heartbreak settling in, even though I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. As I scrubbed my body, I took an assessment of my size and figure. My weight was up ten pounds. Suddenly, I felt ugly and unattractive, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Bertrand still found me as attractive as he had a year ago, when he asked me to be his wife. I’d said yes, but Lord knows, I wished I had said no.

  Compared to Equanto, Bertrand wasn’t a bad mate. As a matter of fact, Equanto made Bertrand look like a superstar. He loved me, or so I wanted to believe, was an excellent provider, paid the bills on time, and enjoyed spoiling me. He was always bringing me flowers and trinkets and doing all kinds of stuff that women loved. At least that was how it began. It was never until after you moved in with a person or said “I do” that you found out who you were really dealing with, and like I said, I wished I had declined his proposal. Now I knew him to be insecure and controlling, and he treated me like a child.

  I still remembered the time I pissed him off real good about a month after moving into his house by making an “unapproved” purchase. I had gotten a good paycheck at work and had been eyeing one of those little book reading devices for months. On payday, I stopped by the bookstore, looked at the few different models they had to offer, and picked out a color device and a nice cover for it. The cover was ridiculously priced. But if I was gonna splurge, I was gonna splurge!

  I came in the house about an hour later than usual, swinging my bag with my purchase, to find Bertrand silently fuming in the kitchen, where he was popping a few hot dogs in the microwave.

  “Hey, honey,” I greeted, as happy as a jaybird.

  Bertrand barely cracked his lips to utter a response.

  “What’s wrong with you?”

  “Where have you been?” he grumbled.

  “I stopped by the store to get this!” Excited, I swung the bag up and thrust it toward him. “I got one of those book things!” Digging in the bag for my new toy, I didn’t notice right away the disapproving glare Bertrand wore on his face. “It’s the color one,” I chimed, carefully handling my device like it was a newborn baby. “Whenever I want to buy a book, I can just tap on the screen and it will download onto here.”

  “How much did that cost?” he grunted, taking his quick meal out of the microwave.

  I quoted the price and explained that I’d used my extra money to treat myself.

  “So you’re just out there spending money without letting me know about it?” he said, folding his arms across his chest.

  “What do you mean? I’m telling you now.”

  “You’re telling me after the fact. Don’t you think you should have talked to me about this before you just went out and bought something?”

  Really I didn’t, but I gave it a moment of thought. “What’s the big deal, babe?”

  “We’re engaged to be married, Dina, or did you forget that?”

  “Of course I didn’t forget, but I’m saying . . .” I paused for half a second to throw on a puzzled face. “I can’t buy anything without talking to you first?”

  “Why would you think that was okay?” he questioned, squirting ketchup on his food.

  “Well, first of all, because I’m grown, and secondly, I didn’t realize I needed your permission to spend my money.”

  “So you can just do whatever you want to do, then, huh?”

  This was ridiculous to me, but clearly, it was a problem for Bertrand.

  “And then you didn’t even call me to let me know you weren’t coming straight home,” he added.

  “Babe,” I sighed, “I stopped at the store.” My bit of excitement about having a new toy was diminished.

  “So you couldn’t call first?”

  “Yes, I could have, but I’m here now, and you can see where I’ve been.”

  “You’re acting like you still want to be single, Dina,” he said, carrying his plate to the den, where he had been watching ESPN. “Now I’m sitting here, having to eat hot dogs and chips for dinner.”

  “No, I’m acting like I’m a grown woman,” I shot back, following him into the den. “And if you had just been patient, you wouldn’t be eating a carnival meal right now.”

  He didn’t respond, other than rolling his eyes at me.

  “So I can’t stop at the store, and I can’t spend any money without talking to you first?” I asked, feeling that the conversation was unfinished and the issue was certainly unresolved. By now my hands were on my hips, and my temperature was on low boil.

  “Tell me what marriage means to you,” he said.

  “It doesn’t mean that I gotta get your permission for everything I do,” I snapped.

  “Maybe I’m confused, then, about what marriage is supposed to be. I’m sitting here waiting for you to get home so you can fix some dinner and we can enjoy a nice evening together, and then not only do you not call, and I don’t have a clue where you are, but on top of that, you’re out spending money.” He shook his head, as if he were grossly disappointed.

  I was annoyed by his thinking. “It’s not like I stopped for drinks,” I countered. “And it’s not like I spent bill money.”

  “Okay, so the deal is we can stop wherever we want on the way home from work without saying a word to each other unless we’re stopping for drinks.” He paused to let that thought sink in for a minute. “And as long as it’s not the bill money that’s being spent, the sky’s the limit on spending. We can just go buy whatever we want when we want, regardless of the cost.”

  When Bertrand put it like that, I could see where he was coming from just a little bit. Only a little, though, because we weren’t even talking about a hundred dollars here. At the same time, I knew how Bertrand thought. He would take things to the extreme and was liable to come home tomorrow with a new car without mentioning it to me first. Not that he had to. I didn’t know whether to offer a light apology or stand my ground, but the whole thing was stupid to me.

  “No, I’m not saying that at all, but I am tired of talking about it, because I feel like I deserved to treat myself to something nice. I had the money to do it, and I don’t feel like I need your permission or approval to enjoy my life. I ain’t no kid, and you ain’t my daddy.” I turned around, grabbed the bag with my book thingy, the cover, the packaging, and the papers, then commented over my shoulder, “I’m going to get in the tub and enjoy a good book.”

  Sitting
in the tub with a new read, I could hardly enjoy myself, thinking about the conversation we’d just had. Again, I could understand not making major purchases without there being some type of discussion, but not over this petty thing. This wasn’t what I would consider a major purchase. Bertrand spent money on stuff all the time, as a matter of fact. Recently I’d seen a couple of bags from the sporting goods store, new golf balls, and some computer software, come to think of it. There was no discussion between us for those purchases. But I was supposed to run to him and get permission when I wanted to buy something? I didn’t think so.

  Once I’d gotten out of the tub, I lotioned and perfumed my body, put on something sexy, and brushed my hair up into a sexy, wispy updo, so that Bertrand and I could make up by making love and going to sleep holding each other, like we always did. Sex always made men forget the stupid stuff.

  Feeling renewed and sexy, and with our earlier conversation-slash-argument more than an hour behind us, I waltzed downstairs, ready to seduce my man. Before I went in the den, I padded to the kitchen to pour a couple glasses of wine.

  Bertrand was still reclined on the sofa, where I’d seen him last, his empty plate on the floor beside him.

  “Got room for me?” I asked in my sultry sex kitten voice. The teddy I had on had my cheeks poking out the back, so I casually turned to let him see, then turned back to face him.

  “You can sit over there. I’m comfortable,” he said, cutting his eye to an alternate chair.

  After a second of hesitation, I tried again. “You can’t just scoot over a little bit?” I offered him a glass, expecting him to take it and make room.

  He pushed a sigh from his mouth as he reached for the glass. “Let me enjoy the game, Dina, okay?”

  Was he serious? I stood for a few seconds, wondering what the hell was going on, but then retreated back down the hallway to the bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I had three different emotions going on at once. Firstly, I was confused as to why Bertrand was having such a crazy reaction to something that was really nothing. Secondly, I was hurt. He’d rejected me. Not rejected me in a pair of sweats and a raggedy T-shirt, but he’d rejected me in some lingerie. With my booty hanging out and all. Then, finally, I was angry, because I felt like he was being unreasonable and controlling. So what if I bought myself something? We weren’t getting put out of the house because of it.

  I sulked for maybe ten minutes before I semi-shrugged it off and grabbed my e-reader again. I’d been seeing statuses all over Facebook about people curling up with a glass of wine and their varied devices. It hadn’t been my plan to try out that specific relaxation method, but I figured I might as well make the most of the moment.

  I plopped down on the chaise in the corner of my bedroom, curling my feet beneath me, and got lost in a Zora Neale Hurston story. Before I knew it, her words and that wine rocked me to sleep. When I woke up a couple hours later, Bertrand had already gotten into bed, without bothering to wake me up. That was unlike him, especially because of the way I was dressed. If it were up to him, we’d have sex two and three times a day, every day, except the day when my period was at its absolute heaviest. So for him to be in bed without trying to get himself some was definitely out of the norm.

  I stood, stretched, brushed my teeth, then crawled in bed and nestled up to Bertrand’s back. I wasn’t feeling particularly horny, but I had to get over this rejection I felt by offering myself to him again and having him accept. I wrapped my arms around him, then let a hand slide down to fondle his manhood. He placed his hand on mine, lifted it up, and moved it behind him.

  “Stop, Dina,” he uttered, but I persisted, sliding my hand back across his hip and to his front. “I said stop,” he said more adamantly, and this time he tossed my hand away.

  “What’s wrong with you?” I asked, sucking my teeth.

  “I’m ready to ask you that same thing,” he said, slightly looking over his shoulder toward me, but our eyes hardly connected.

  “What do you mean, Bertrand?”

  “You know damn well what I mean. All of a sudden you want to act like my wife, but a few hours ago, you must have been like, ‘To hell with my husband and our marriage. I’ma do what I damn well please.’”

  “We’re not even married yet, and it wasn’t even like that. Believe me, I had no idea that me spending a few dollars was going to turn into a silly fight, else I would have called you first.”

  “Oh, so this is silly to you?”

  “The way you’re acting is silly, yes,” I declared. “I mean, what is really going on that you are this bent out of shape over an hour’s worth of time and a less than one-hundred-dollar purchase?”

  “When you figure it out, you let me know.” He pulled the covers toward him and dropped his head on his pillow. “Until then I’m done.”

  We didn’t speak for about three days after that. I wondered if that was when he tiptoed out of the house to be with someone else.

  Chapter 17

  Candis

  Since SeanMichael’s phone had been cut off, I couldn’t wait to get home every day to get on Facebook to read his in-box messages. Luckily, he had Internet access at his job, so we were able to stay in contact.

  The first thing I did when I got in was turn on my computer and log in, then warm up a quick Lean Cuisine meal. This extra weight was killing me, and I was determined to get rid of it before SeanMichael and I met, whenever that would be. Since I’d eaten poorly all day—doughnuts for breakfast and McDonald’s for lunch—I thought the least I could do was attempt to eat right at dinnertime.

  As expected, I did have an in-box message waiting for me. Yes!

  SeanMichael Monroe

  Hi Beautiful!

  I miss hearing your voice, but I’m so blessed to be able to see your smiling face right here on your profile. I hope you are having a great day.

  SM

  Candis I’m TheOne Turner

  Hey SeanMichael,

  My day was long and boring since I didn’t get a chance to talk to you. You always make my day brighter, and it seems to go by a lot smoother and faster when I can hear your voice. How long do you think it will be before you’re able to get your phone back on?

  I told my friends about you this week, and of course, they are riding my case. I don’t even care, though, because they are in some pretty jacked-up relationships and don’t have room to talk about anybody.

  Dina is marrying a man who only wants a trophy or a puppet. She can barely leave her house without him almost stalking her to find out what she is doing and who she’s with. I can’t believe she’s still engaged. They look like they got it going on, but he’s screwing around on her. She can’t prove it, but that is what she believes, and I can’t blame her. She found some panties in her house that didn’t belong to her and a few text messages. He is playing dumb, but he ain’t fooling nobody.

  And Celeste just lets her man treats her any kind of way. Lie, cheat, steal ... only thing left is kill. It’s really sad, and I feel sorry for her, but you can’t make someone get up if they like being a doormat. Like I said, neither one of them has room to talk. That’s not stopping them from talking, though.

  SeanMichael Monroe

  Babe,

  We already know people are always going to have something to say. People have been talking about me my whole life, and the times that I let their talk influence me are some of the times that I have the biggest regrets. What I’ve found out is God gave my life to me. Not to my momma, my daddy, my family, or my friends. He gave me my own mind, my own will, and my own emotions, and only I can give other people the power to control them. But guess what? I choose not to do that. I choose to keep my own power. I don’t care what anyone says, and who says it. I love you, and I can’t wait to make you my wife.

  Candis I’mThe One Turner

  Your wife? Wow, SeanMichael! I wasn’t expecting you to say that.

  SeanMichael Monroe

  I know, but it’s true. Even from a distance, you make
my life complete. You’re the best part of my day, and you are my destiny.

  Candis I’mTheOne Turner

  How do you know that?

  SeanMichael Monroe

  Because I prayed and asked God to show me a woman who loves Him and who could love me and whom I could love, and the next thing I knew, we were talking. I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. I know what I prayed for, and I thank God every day that He brought you into my life.

  Candis I’mTheOne Turner

  Wow! You really make me smile. Did you know that?

  SeanMichael Monroe

  I’m glad I could do that, and if you give me the chance, I want to make you smile every single day of the rest of your life as your man.

  Candis I’mTheOne Turner

  Well, I don’t know if I am ready for marraige, especially since we’ve never met in person, but it’s nice to know that you are always thinking about me.

  SeanMichael Monroe

  I do more than think about you, Candis. I dream about you, I pray for you, I respect you, and I love you.

  Candis I’mTheOne Turner

  You better stop it, or you’re going to make me fall in love with you.

  SeanMichael Monroe

  And I would be so honored if you would.

  Candis I’mTheOne Turner

  If you keep it up, it would only be a matter of time.

  SeanMichael Monroe

  I ain’t got nothing but time, and I will wait as long as it takes.

  We sent messages back and forth for another two hours, talking about some of everything. He was such a nice guy, at least online. He was forever posting nice little sentiments, lines of poetry, romantic videos, and pictures of flowers on my wall to let me know that I’d crossed his mind throughout his day.