02 Turn to Me - Kathleen Turner

by Tiffany Snow

  Seeing a remote control on the nearby ottoman, I grabbed it, finding and pressing the power button. I flipped channels until I stumbled across A Charlie Brown Christmas playing.

  We didn’t speak, merely watching the story of Charlie Brown and his search for the true meaning of Christmas and the scraggly little Christmas tree that just needed a little love. As the closing credits rolled, I spoke.

  “Thank you,” I said quietly.

  Kade glanced down at me. “For what?”

  “Saving me. Again.”

  The corner of his mouth twisted upward. “I have told you you’re a shit load of trouble, right?”

  I smiled. The words he’d once uttered in loathing now seemed like a teasing endearment. “I believe you may have mentioned that.”

  The brilliant blue of his eyes held me captive until I forced myself to look away.

  “Did you used to watch this as a kid?” I asked, searching for something to say. I indicated the television.

  Kade's expression grew cold and distant. “I might have,” he said. “I don't really remember.”

  I frowned. “You don't remember?”

  “I spent the days and nights just trying to survive when I was a kid,” he said flatly. “Holiday specials weren't a big part of that.”

  With a pang, I remembered the burn scars on his back. I wriggled until I was turned toward him. He'd rested his head on his palm, his elbow braced on the couch as he looked down at me.

  “Tell me?” I softly asked. My hand stretched upward to push through his hair, my fingers pale against the midnight locks.

  His brows furrowed and he opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated. I waited patiently, warm from his body pressed against mine on the couch, his hand resting lightly on my hip.

  “Not everyone was bad,” he finally said, the words seeming to come difficult to him. “But a few were the stuff of nightmares. Those, I ran away from. But there was one...I couldn't run away.”

  “Why not?” My question was almost a whisper, caught as I was by the haunted look in his eyes.

  “There was a little girl there, too, younger than me. She didn't know, didn't understand, and he'd go after her.”

  I barely breathed as I listened. Kade's eyes were on mine, seeming to beg my forgiveness even as he told this horror to me.

  “I figured out I could distract him, make him stop, if I pissed him off. Kind of like a diversion. He was a mean sonofabitch. Liked to do the cigarettes and the belt. His fists when he was too drunk to find something else. A few times a broken bottle, a knife.”

  Tears started leaking from my eyes, but I couldn't look away from the pain in his.

  “Eventually, the girl left. The state took her away. Blane found me shortly after that.”

  “What happened to the girl?” I asked.

  Kade's mouth twisted. “You've met her,” he said. “It was Branna.”

  I could only look at him, surprise etched on my face. Branna had been the gorgeous brunette who had helped us in Chicago, along with Terrance and Rusty. I'd known then that she was in love with Kade, though I'd had no idea of their history together, of how much Kade had sacrificed to protect the weak and innocent, even back then.

  Tears still spilled from the corners of my eyes and Kade frowned, brushing them lightly away.

  “I didn't tell you that so you'd feel sorry for me,” he said.

  I shook my head. “I don't feel sorry for you, or pity you. I feel...” I struggled to put my thoughts into words. “Rage and helplessness. Sorrow and despair. I hate that you had to endure such things and I hate the people who did them to you.”

  Kade studied me, but I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. My hand still moved through his hair and I didn't dare look away, wanting him to read the sincerity in my eyes. Somehow, I doubted he'd told this story to very many people, maybe to no one, and I didn't want him to regret telling me.

  “I lied, you know,” he said casually.

  My hand froze and my entire body went still beneath his.

  “I did look.”

  It took my fogged brain a moment to puzzle through what he meant, then I let out a relieved huff of laughter. Of course. He was talking about when he'd changed my clothes earlier and had told me he “hadn't looked.” The twinkle of mischief was back in his eyes, his lips twisted in a teasing grin.

  I marveled at how a week ago, if I'd been told I'd be in this situation with Kade, I'd never have believed it. Of course, if I'd also been told a week ago that Blane would cheat on me with Kandi...well, that I might actually have believed.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  When I woke the next morning, it was to hear raised voices coming from Kade's living room. I rubbed my bleary eyes, looking for a clock. It was after ten am. The voices quieted so I got out of bed, groaning. The vodka was making its aftereffects known; my head was pounding. Easing my way to the bathroom, I found a brush to run through my tousled hair. An extra toothbrush lay on the counter, still in the packaging, and I mentally thanked Kade. My mouth felt like it had been filled with cotton overnight.

  When I came out of the bathroom, I listened, but heard nothing. Figuring it had just been the television, I stepped out of the bedroom, only to freeze in my tracks at the sight of Blane and Kade standing in the living room.

  Both their eyes swung to me. Blane's gaze swept me from head to foot, taking in that I wore only Kade's shirt. Seeing as how I'd just stepped out of his bedroom, I watched as he made connections in his mind, his expression turning to icy granite that I knew boded ill. I shrank backward, momentarily afraid of him. But then my fear turned to horror when he turned and launched himself at Kade.

  The solid crack of Blane's fist hitting Kade's jaw made me shriek. Kade must have been as shocked as I was because it took him a few precious seconds to defend himself. They grappled, Kade landing a return hit in Blane's gut. Blane was bigger than Kade, but Kade was slightly faster, making it an even match.

  I watched with dismay, uncertain what to do or how to stop them. This was not what I wanted. Together, they were all the other had. I couldn't let them rip each other apart.

  “Stop!” I cried. “Stop it! Both of you!”

  They ignored me. I winced at the sound of knuckles hitting bone again. Tossing aside caution and all good sense, I ran forward.

  There was a space between them and I threw myself into it just as Blane's fist came flying toward Kade – only I now stood in front of Kade. I cringed and squeezed my eyes shut, flinching away from the blow. I expected to feel pain exploding through me at any second, but when nothing happened, I carefully opened my eyes.

  Blane's fist was a hair's breadth from my cheek. I'd seen the force with which he'd thrown that punch, and it would surely have shattered my cheekbone had he not pulled it back at the last possible second.

  No one moved or spoke, the only sound that of their breathing, which I could barely hear over the pounding of my heart. My eyes slowly lifted from Blane's fist to his face.

  For an instant, there was naked fear written on his face, before it faded into a mask of anger.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” he snapped out, jerking backward. “Do you know how close I came to hitting you?”

  “Well, if you hadn't been fighting, you wouldn't have almost hit me!” I yelled back. My hands were shaking so I clenched them into fists. “Why would you do that anyway? Why would you hit your brother?” Anger filled my veins, burning away the sorrow and heartbreak.

  Blane's expression didn’t change and he didn't answer me.

  “I didn't sleep with her,” Kade said flatly, crossing to the freezer and taking out an ice pack which he laid alongside his jaw.

  “Is that what you think?” I said to Blane, my voice dangerously quiet. “That I'd screw your brother to get back at you? That's the sort of person you think I am?” An insistent little voice in the back of my head reminded me about kissing Kade last night. I ignored it.

  “Like you have any room to talk, brother,�
� Kade said mockingly. “Or are you the only one allowed to fuck around?”

  “Kathleen, I-” Blane started.

  “Save it,” I snapped. Turning on my heel, I went back into the bedroom, slamming the door behind me. Only when I was alone in the bathroom, safe from prying eyes and ears, did I allow the tears to fall.

  Seeing Blane, without any warning at all, had been as though someone had shoved a hot knife into my chest. Then for him to automatically assume the very worst...I'd thought he knew me better than that. Of course, he could just have assumed I’d cheat the same as he had. What’s good for the goose and all.

  As I stood in front of the mirror, with nowhere to hide and no one to see, I thought about whether or not I would have stopped Kade last night if he'd wanted more from me than just a kiss. I hoped I would have, but the reality was that I didn't know. I'd been reeling from Blane's betrayal, terrified that I'd nearly been killed, and loneliness had sapped whatever remaining willpower I'd possessed. If Kade had pushed the issue...well, I should probably not fault Blane for thinking the worst. I'm no hypocrite, though perhaps I'd skirted the edges a little this morning.

  I sighed. What was done was done. I'd just have to be more careful around Kade from now on. The memory of last night came back to me and I shivered. There had been an energy between Kade and me, an attraction and chemistry that was both compelling and dangerous. If this morning had shown me anything, it was that I had the power to come between Blane and Kade, and I had no desire to do so. Some women might get off on that, but not me. I had no family left – I wasn't about to be responsible for separating two brothers.

  I took a shower, wrapping myself up in a towel before exiting the bathroom. Kade had left a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved t-shirt on the bed, which I gratefully pulled on. Both were way too big and I had to roll the waist of the pants down and the legs up just so I could walk.

  I cautiously entered the kitchen. To my relief, Blane had left.

  “How's your jaw?” I asked Kade as I poured myself a cup of coffee and climbed onto the bar stool next to him.

  “I'll live,” he said shortly, turning toward me. His eyes narrowed. “You have a bruise,” he said, his fingers brushing my cheek. “Are you going to tell me who hit you?”

  “And what will you do if I tell you?” I asked.

  “Kill him.”

  I smiled at his matter-of-fact answer, though I wasn't one hundred percent sure he was joking. “Well, I'm not going to say, so just forget about it. It doesn't matter anyway.”

  “You need to take a self-defense course or something,” Kade replied. “You're too little to take chances.”

  I snorted. “Little? Please.” He obviously had not seen me from the back.

  Kade's eyes narrowed. “You're five foot nothing, have bones I could break with my bare hands, and no doubt weigh about a buck ten. You couldn't stop an overgrown fifth-grader from pushing you around.”

  “I'll have you know, I'm five foot one and three-quarters,” I said archly. No way was I commenting on his weight guess.

  “Exactly.”

  “Like a self-defense course would have stopped Blane this morning?” My tone was sarcastic, but I didn't think it was a bad idea. On the contrary, it would be nice to be able to defend myself in some way.

  “I didn’t say it would make you smarter,” Kade said dryly. “Interfering was a bad idea.”

  “I had to do something,” I said. “I couldn’t just watch you two kill each other.”

  “Next time, leave it alone.”

  I really hoped there wouldn’t be a next time.

  “I'll set up the class,” Kade said. “The firm will pick up the cost.” He smirked at me, adding, “It's cheaper than a hospital bill.”

  “How pragmatic of you,” I said dryly, then changed the subject. “I went to visit Adriana Waters yesterday.”

  His eyes sharpened, focusing on me. “And?”

  “And she’s working with whoever is doing this,” I said. “I broke into her hotel room and-”

  “You what?” Kade broke in, interrupting my story. “You broke into her room? How?”

  “Well, I got a maid to let me in, so I guess that's not really breaking in. Anyway,” I continued, “she came back with a man. I didn't get to see who he was, but they talked about getting Blane to lose this case. I think they’re behind the threats that made Ron Freeman change his testimony.”

  “Did they say anything else?”

  I shook my head.

  “Blane wants me to find Bowers,” Kade said. “He thinks Bowers might have been threatened as well into changing his story, but decided to go into hiding rather than betray Kyle.”

  I agreed. “Do we know anything about him? What his hobbies are? His friends? Maybe he's hiding out with a girlfriend.”

  “I'm going to do some digging today,” Kade said.

  “What about me?”

  “You are going to chill here, relax, and stay safe.”

  “I can't just sit around all day and do nothing,” I protested.

  “Of course you can,” Kade said lightly, getting up and tucking his gun into its holster at his belt. “You've had a rough couple of days. Take it easy today.” He shrugged into his leather jacket and turned away.

  “Kade,” I said urgently, sliding off the stool.

  He paused and turned. I stopped awkwardly in front of him.

  “Want a kiss goodbye?” he smirked.

  I forced a smile. “I just wanted...just...be careful today, okay?”

  His brow furrowed for a moment at my tone which was tinged with desperation.

  “No worries,” he reassured me, leaning down to brush his lips against my forehead. Then he was gone.

  I swayed on my feet, overwhelmed with what I just remembered, right before Kade had walked out the door. Because tonight was the night I had to go meet James. With Kade gone and Blane now with Kandi, I had no one to save me except myself.

  My stomach rolled and I barely made it to the bathroom in time.

  Chapter Twelve

  I needed to go home. I understood Kade's wanting to keep me here, keep me safe, but I just couldn't stay. What if Blane came back? I didn't think I could face him again so soon. Not to mention that I had to get home and take care of Tigger.

  Lack of transportation was a problem. I'd have to call a cab. With that thought, I remembered Frankie giving me his number, in case I ever needed another ride. Considering how I was dressed, it would help to have someone I knew pick me up rather than a complete stranger.

  Digging Frankie's number out of my purse, I called it, relieved when he answered.

  “Frankie?” I asked. “This is Kathleen.”

  “Hi, K-K-Kathleen,” he said, sounding surprised to hear from me.

  “I hope you don't mind, but I've run into some car...trouble,” I hedged, not sure how to explain that my car had been blown to bits. “Could I possibly ask you for a ride home?”

  “Sure. Where are y-you?”

  Good question. I had no idea. “Um, just a sec.” Going back to the bedrooms, I opened the second bedroom door, hoping it was an office. I was in luck – the room held a massive cherry wood desk, with a computer and four flat screen monitors. Although I hated to go through Kade's things, I saw a small stack of envelopes and picked them up. As I'd hoped, they had an address printed on them, which I read off to Frankie. Located on Meridian, Kade lived only a few blocks from Monument Circle. I didn't want to think about how much this place cost a month.

  Frankie said he'd be there in a few minutes and I hung up. Glancing around, I remembered how Kade used to work for the FBI in Cyber Crimes. There was a lot of computer equipment in here, and his computer itself looked state-of-the-art.

  Some file folders lay to the other side of his desk, and I looked at them for a long moment, trying to decide if I should snoop. It would be extremely tacky and rude of me to go through Kade's things, but the temptation to know more about him was strong. I sidled a little closer, lo
oking over my shoulder as if Kade would appear at any moment.

  Casually, I reached out and flicked open the cover of the file on top. My jaw dropped in shock.

  My own face stared up at me from the folder – a candid shot of me walking on the street that I knew had been taken without my permission. I snatched up the folder, flipping through it, my stomach churning with each turn of the page.

  Everything there was to know about me was right there in black and white. My high school and college transcripts, my bank account records and current balance, credit report, obituaries of both my mom and dad, the deed of sale for my home, medical bills I still owed for my mom, everything.

  Not only had Kade lied to me when he'd said he knew nothing about me, apparently he'd done his own background check, though this was more thorough than a mere background check. He'd dug into my personal history, photos of me in high school and college were documented as well as a short list of my friends from home and an even shorter list of past boyfriends. Good God, did he have video of when I'd lost my virginity as well?

  Furious, I hurled the folder across the room, watching as the papers flew everywhere. Rage and betrayal sang through my veins. Apparently, Blane and Kade weren't as different as they seemed. I'd fallen for both their lies, believing they could be trusted. Kade had never gotten over his distrust of me and the proof lay scattered all over the floor.

  Grabbing my purse, I jabbed at the button for the loft elevator in the corner of the living room, stepping inside when the doors slid open. Once inside, I realized Kade lived in the penthouse. Of course he did. Bitterly, I punched the button for the bottom floor.

  A doorman whose nametag read “Paul” opened the door for me and I returned his smile with a forced one of my own. To my relief, Frankie's taxi was already waiting for me, and I quickly climbed inside.

  “Thank you so much for coming to get me, Frankie,” I said, trying to quell my anger. After all, it wasn't Frankie's problem Blane and Kade were such jerks.