Torn Hearts

by M. E. Gordon

  That night I didn’t sleep a wink. I simply kept replaying everything over and over in my mind. My phone started to buzz on my night stand. I didn’t recognize the number and decided to let it go to voice mail. If it was important, they’d leave a message.

  A few seconds later it buzzed again, indicating a new voice message. I guess they did want to talk.

  “Elizabeth, it’s Simon. My phone’s dead so I’m calling from the hotel. I have to get this off my chest. I can’t rest until I do. I wish this was in person, but I need to say it now. I’m falling in love with you. I know you’ve been a skeptic about me, but I need you to know that I’m serious and I want us to be serious. Call me in the morning. Night, Belle.”

  As if things couldn’t get worse, Simon just poured his heart out in a voicemail.

  ***

  Good grief, it was morning already. I squinted, trying to block the bright sunlight coming through the window. My head felt like it had been stuck in a washing machine on spin dry. I stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom and immediately took medicine to stop the pounding in my head.

  Lying back in bed, I pulled the covers over my head, hoping I could get some more sleep. Twenty minutes later, I realized it was not happening. I reached over, grabbing my phone off the night stand. I listened to the message Simon left me one more time. His voice seemed to calm me down. I relaxed and, for the first time, came to terms that things with Spencer were not going to happen. Simon was here, making an effort. I needed to give him more of me and put Spencer to rest. I redial the number he called me from waiting to hear his genuine voice on the other line, and I didn’t have to wait long, by the end of the first ring he picked up.

  “Hey,” he answered.

  “Hey, so I got your message.” I replied.

  “You did, did you?” A cocky air came across in his voice.

  “Yup.”

  “And what do you think about it?”

  Not wasting any time, this one. I cleared my throat, making sure to word what I wanted to say the right way. “I think it’s very nice of you to tell me how you feel.” I wanted to be able to tell him that I was falling for him too, but something was holding me back, something that I still needed to deal with. Salvatore.

  “Really, that’s all?” he asked, deflated.

  Here I go. I’m going to ruin this. Spencer doesn’t want to give us a shot and here I am about to lose Simon because I can’t tell him how I really feel. My life is officially a soap opera.

  “Umm--well--”I’m stuttering, literally stuttering.

  “Babe, you don’t have to say anything, say it when you feel it. I do, so that’s why I said it. I said that I’m falling in love with you because I am.”

  Damn he always knows the right thing to say, like he has some love guru whispering in his ear.

  “Okay,” was all I could say back. Pathetic, I know.

  “Can you meet me at the café in a little while?”

  We usually found ourselves there at least once a week, so I didn’t find it odd at all. “Sure. Can you give me half hour to get showered and I’ll meet you?”

  “That’s fine; I’ll see you in a few.”

  ***

  I walked into the café, looking over to our little couch, and saw Simon sitting on the edge fidgeting nervously with his hands. He was dressed up, which was not his usual style. The carefree Simon that I usually saw was not there. He was tense and anxious.

  As I walked over, I called out to him, “Hey, Simon.”

  Standing, he took the two steps to meet me halfway, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

  I knew without a doubt, something was up. “What’s going on?” I asked still in his embrace. “Simon, you’re starting to scare me. What’s going on?” I repeated, pulling back from him.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, leaning down giving me a quick kiss on the lips. “Can you sit down?” he asked, gesturing towards the couch.

  I instantly went on edge as he prepared to talk.

  “Beth--”

  Oh shit, he used my real name. This is going to be serious.

  “I’m leaving,” he said, taking my hands in his.

  It took me a second to register what he had just said. But once it did, I pulled my hands away from his. “What?”

  I felt the blood drain from my face. Again? I clenched my jaw to keep from screaming. I fisted my hands until they hurt, my nails were digging into my palms, but I kept on squeezing them.

  “I’ve been contracted overseas until late December. I tried to get out of it, but I can’t. I need the opportunity and the money. Something like this might never happen again for me. I have to go.”

  Taking a deep breath, I steadied myself. “How long have you known about this ‘opportunity’?” I asked, still fisting both hands at my sides.

  “I had a meeting with a few people today and they informed me that I need to be there by tomorrow evening.” Holding his head down, he rubbed his eyes as if he hadn’t slept since we got back, either.

  “Well, if you have to go, then--it won’t be that bad,” I said, trying to sound encouraging. Sitting back, I saw his eyes glisten over. My defenses came down the moment I saw how much this was paining him. I relaxed my hand and reached for his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

  I suddenly felt horrible for even thinking about Spencer. Here Simon was saying and showing me how much he loved me, and where was Spencer? Who knows and who cares? I’m done. Decision made, I’m Simon’s.

  Spending the rest of the day and night with Simon was exactly what I needed. Spencer who? Lying in Simon’s bed, stuffed from all the room service we ordered, we simply lay in each other’s arms, sometimes talking, sometimes in silence.

  I turned in his arms so I could look at him. “I’m going to miss this.”

  “Yeah, me, too. It’s too bad that once people stop interrupting us, we become separated by an ocean.”

  Smiling at him, I already missed his humor and he wasn’t even gone yet. How am I going to do this? “I can’t believe this is happening.” I turned to check the clock. I only had five hours to be with him until I had to drop him off at the airport.

  “Ugh,” I whined, hitting the bed with my arms.

  “What?” he asked.

  Sitting up, I straddled him in only my bra and underwear. I was thankful the only light was from the glow of the silent TV behind me. I didn’t need him picturing my rolls for the next month while he was gone. I glanced down at him, watching as he took in every inch of my body; burning my image into his mind. I grabbed a pillow and placed it over my stomach, my insecurities getting the better of me.

  “We only have five hours left,” I whined again. A low, deep growl escaped his lips as he reached for the pillow. I struggled to keep it in place but failed miserably as he ripped it out of my grip and tossed it on the floor.

  “Five hours, huh?” he asked.

  I nodded back, crossing my arms and pouting.

  “What am I going to do without you?” he asked, sitting up and holding onto my hips.

  “I don’t know. What are you going to do with me?” I asked teasingly.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  “Yes, I would like to know, now, preferably before you have to get ready to go.”

  “Is that so? What if I just want to lay here and stare at you?” he asked, resting his hands behind his head.

  “You know, you’re on your way to spending the rest of this night alone, buddy. You’re leaving me tomorrow, you’re teasing me, and you tossed my security pillow on the floor.” I said, pointing to the pillow on the ground. “Plus, you’re testing my patience.

  “Well, we both know your little ’tude is a turn on, so. how about I show you, instead?”

  Yes, please!

  Unclasping my bra and tossing it aside, he ran his hand up my chest. His stubbly face met my neck. The rough five o’clock shadow scrapped my skin in the most delectable way as he inhaled my scent before leaving soft kisses along my body. His hot b
reath sent a shiver to my core like it had done many times before tonight. I pushed him back, needing more. I pulled his shirt off, flinging it to meet my bra. I took my time to drink in his image as he did mine. I scooted back off his lap to get the full view before I went for the goods. I ripped his boxers off while he lay back on his elbows, watching intently. The need to please him took over and I couldn’t help but get a little anxious as I wrapped my slightly shaking fingers around him.

  I moved with a seductive rhythm, glancing up to see him still attentively watching. Knowing that this was it before he was gone for six weeks, I leaned down over him, teasing him with kisses everywhere except for the one place I was sure he wanted my lips.

  “Jesus Christ, are you trying to kill me?”

  I looked up flirtatiously at him, before I gave him what he wanted. The salty taste of him on my tongue was a welcome surprise.

  “Oh my God, Belle, that feels so freaking good.”

  That was all I needed to hear. His rough breathing made me work even harder.

  Minutes later his voice cracked. “Stop!” he said abruptly through gritted teeth.

  I quickly released him, before he moved away. Great, I must have grazed him with my teeth or worse he doesn’t like it.

  “You have to stop,” he said, panting and holding his hand up toward me.

  All my nightmares are coming true in less than forty-eight hours. You know, typical Beth Monroe.

  “You have to stop because I’m not going to be able to make it another minute if you keep doing that.”

  Oh, well then. A sexy grin spread across his lips and before I knew it, I was up on my knees as he slid my panties down, only to take them tight in his hand.

  “You don’t need these do you?” he asked through a wicked grin.

  “You are a beast. I guess I can let them go.”

  “You don’t have a choice because I’m taking them with me, even if you say no,” he said, spinning them around on his finger.

  I wrapped my legs around him, bringing his body closer to mine. I raised my hips, rubbing up against him. I couldn’t take it anymore so I took him inside me, rocking my hips into his, needing him to push deeper. Kissing my neck, he gave me what I needed and flipped us over so he was on top of me.

  Everything was perfect. We rolled around, not wasting a single second of the time we had left together.

  “Shit!” he yelled, almost biting my shoulder.

  He moaned so loud, I thought the neighbors might call the front desk because someone was getting murdered in the room next-door. What the hell was that for? I suddenly got it as I felt him pour inside me.

  He pulled out and sat back on his knees. “I’m so sorry, I totally forgot a condom. I swear, I didn’t do it on purpose.” Simon moved his hands off me, holding them up like he had just committed a crime.

  “Simon, it’s okay,” I tried to say, but the panic in him was too funny.

  “I can’t believe I--I didn’t, I swear--we are going to the pharmacy to get the ‘Plan B Pill’ as soon as they open. I’m not getting on that plane until you take it.”

  I couldn’t help it. The chuckles I had been holding in finally came pouring out as I started laughing hysterically. Catching his questioning face, I felt tears of laughter start running down my cheeks.

  “What the hell is so funny? This is serious.”

  Covering my face, I took a deep breath to calm down.

  “What?” he demanded.

  “I’m on the pill, you nut! I’m not stupid. You think I’d let you do that without protection? I might not get around, but I do protect myself from hounds like you.” I tickled his stomach and burst out laughing again as the words I said started to sink in. Smiling down at me, he shook his head. I giggled. “Oh God, you should have seen your face, it was priceless. Plan B Pill? You’re killing me here.” I tossed my head back and laughed even harder.

  “Come on, it’s not that funny. Well, I guess...” He smiled back and tickled my side in retaliation.

  He held me that night until we finally fell asleep, but all too soon the alarm was going off.

  “I have to get ready,” he said, moving the hair from my neck to kiss it.

  “I know,” I grumbled back.

  With one last kiss, he left the bed and went into the shower.

  I got out of bed and dressed in the clothes I had on yesterday, all but my underwear which I slipped into one of his suitcases. I think he’ll truly enjoy that little surprise in eight hours.

  ***

  Standing in the airport just before the security checkpoint, I held on as tightly as I could to him. Simon’s large, muscular frame held me just as tight. I was trying to be strong and stay positive, but it was just not happening.

  I felt the sting of tears run down my face. At least I wasn’t sobbing. That could get ugly, and the last thing I wanted was for this hot man to have the image of my blotchy, sobbing face in his mind. Looking at his watch, he pulled me back.

  His warm eyes locked in on mine. “I have to get heading back there. I can’t miss this flight.”

  Taking a breath, I nodded in agreement.

  “Elizabeth, I need you to do something for me. I need you to know that I love you, I truly do. Don’t pay any attention to Fame or the paparazzi. I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you were hurt and I’m not here to hold you.”

  He knew it upset me to see myself on the Internet, and I knew he didn’t follow any of it but, after that request, I couldn’t help but think that maybe he did.

  He held on to my upper arms, slightly shaking me. “Promise me, Belle. Promise me you won’t look at it. I need you to promise me, no matter what, you will not look at it.”

  “I--I promise.”

  Giving me one last hug and kiss, he walked down the hall toward the stupid plane that was going to take my perfect man away.

  I stood holding my arms tightly around my chest. I wasn’t sure why, but it felt more like a “goodbye” than a “see you in a month.” I had a sinking feeling that things were changing, and I wasn’t sure that they’re going to change for the better. What part of him leaving was for the better?

  None of it. I had chosen Simon and I’d be Goddamned if anything, even Spencer Salvatore, was going to ruin this for me.

  Chapter 16

  My first day with Simon gone...How do I put this? It sucks!

  I decided to take my frustration out on a nice run around the park. Clearing my head and getting some much needed vitamin D was just what the doctor ordered. I was going to run the whole five miles around the park, kill as much time as I could.

  Halfway into my five miles, I was seriously reconsidering. Red faced and sweaty, I dug deep to keep going. Over on the open grass, I saw someone in a serious workout regime. The whole shebang--crunches, lunges, push-ups. Damn it, now I feel like I should be doing some sit-ups. I hate it when I see someone working out. The sudden urge to keep up with the stranger in the field wouldn’t be the first time I’d done a little extra to try to look fit. Of course, it usually ended with me laying down sore for the next week.

  The closer I got to the over-enthusiastic health freak, the more I tried to make sure I kept things sucked in. I adjusted my tank top to make sure it wasn’t riding up and did my best to smooth out what I knew was a frizzy pony tail. When I glanced back over, I barely kept myself from tripping over my own feet. Oh my! His health regimen is clearly working. He was facing away from me, as I watched in totally guilty pleasure. Taking his hat off, he held it in his hand as he reached behind him to pull off his sweat-soaked shirt. Jesus! If the front of him looks as good as the back--

  Running a hand through his hair, he turned in my direction. I was hit with brilliant, blue eyes and a perfect physic. Holy fuck, it’s Salvatore, and he’s sexy--ahhh. This is just my luck!

  I was slightly satisfied to see him working out. It would be too much if he was just blessed with a perfect body along with a chiseled face. My jog had slowly turned into a pathetic walk the closer I go
t. At least I had someone looking out for me, because he was too into his workout to even notice anyone else. Taking a second, I gave myself a treat and perused his sweat-glistened body. His shorts hung low but securely around his waist, the band of his boxers above that. If this would have been last week, I think I would be running over toward him, but now I can’t trust myself around him. I cared too much for Simon to do that, let alone on the first day he was away.

  Even though Spencer had left me, I could still feel it. Whatever “it” was. It was really messing with my head. I needed to get away fast. Turning back toward the trail, I picked up speed and turned my slow walk into a full-out sprint. I honestly didn’t think I would ever see him again, except for in a magazine or on the Internet. I can handle that, but in person, half naked--

  Bam! All I could see was ground, then sky, ground, sky, and finally mud. I landed face down, my head smashed into a huge mud puddle. I checked my surroundings and saw a woman covered by a bike. A kind passerby was helping her up. Pushing my upper body out of the mud, I sensed someone around me as well. Hands held me under my arms as I sat bottom-down just out of the mud. Checking my hands, I wasn’t surprised they were all scraped up and bleeding. My knees poked through my ripped pants, bleeding as well.

  I tasted dirt and immediately spit to the side of me, then wiped my eyes free of the mud.

  “Are you okay?”

  Oh that familiar, deep voice, I’d know it anywhere. Spencer knelt down next to me, clearly not recognizing me.

  “I’m fine,” I said quickly over my shoulder, and in a deeper voice to keep my identity hidden.

  Checking the lady that I clearly ran into, I watched as she mounted her bike.

  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t even see you. Are you okay?” I asked, getting to my feet and away from Spencer.

  “I’m okay, just a few scrapes. I’ll live.” And, without another word, she set off down the trail. The few people who’d stopped to help turned and went back to their own activities.