The Wolf Within Me

by Cheree Alsop

  A tear trickled down her cheek, but she didn’t stop smiling. “Trace fought for me. I saw him. I don’t think he knows it, but I saw him. He tried so hard.” She blinked and focused on me. “That’s love, isn’t it? Real love.”

  I nodded.

  She gave me a wet smile. “Wolves know about love. Maybe more so than the rest of us. When they choose a mate, it’s for the rest of their life. They are devoted and trustworthy. Perhaps…perhaps we can be friends?”

  There was a quiver to her voice as if she feared I would say no.

  I gave a soft snort and nodded my head again. It felt strange and unnatural to nod as a wolf. I was pretty sure they didn’t do that sort of thing in the wild; yet the smile that spread across her lips made it worthwhile. She looked so beautiful there in the moonlight, her hair flowing around her and her blue eyes sparkling like two bright gems.

  She crossed to me, her feet inches above the ground. The grass she touched didn’t move as though she wasn’t there, and yet when she reached me, a scent of cinnamon and dew washed over me. She knelt so that we were eye level. Only the slightest hesitation revealed how much courage it took for her to do so.

  “I’m happy to have a friend,” she said softly. “It’s been so very long.”

  She lifted a hand to my fur. To my surprise, I could feel her fingers run gently through my rough guard hairs to the softer fur beneath. She closed her eyes. I lowered my head and she put her forehead against mine.

  “It’s nice to feel real for a moment,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

  A strange sensation settled over me. It felt as though the edges of my body softened and faded. I couldn’t tell where my paws touched the ground or where my back ended and the air ruffled my fur. Instead, it felt as if I was a part of the air, the ground, the grass, and the breeze. It was the most calming, peaceful sensation I had ever felt in my life.

  “The wind speaks,” Mezania said.

  She lifted her head from mine and the peaceful sensation disappeared.

  “The Academy is on fire.”

  I stared at her, torn between longing for the calm feeling again and trying to comprehend what she had said.

  Her head turned as if she listened to the wind again. Her eyes widened. “It’s burning,” she said. “You need to go!”

  The slightest hint of smoke came to my nose. I spun around. The sight of the Academy through the trees was eerily lit by a green glow.

  “Demon fire,” Mezania breathed. “They’re under attack. Go!”

  I ran several feet, then slowed when I realized she wasn’t coming. I glanced over my shoulder.

  “I can’t leave this place,” she said. “Run! Save them!”

  I set off in a run so fast it felt like my paws didn’t touch the ground. Trees rushed past and a rabbit, startled out of a very early morning breakfast, sprinted out of my way. I lowered my head and pulled my ears back, urging my body faster. The wolf in me responded by loping at speeds I could never have hoped to reach in human form. If I hadn’t been so afraid for the Academy, I would have relished the run. It was breathtaking and exhilarating to have a body so made for such a rush.

  I lowered my head and hit the Academy door so hard it opened with a splintering crash. I skidded through the room with the many doors and ran for the hallway. I reached the main corridor of the school expecting to see students and professors running everywhere. I could hear the crackling of the fire and smell its devastating effects on the school, yet no one was in sight.

  The realization that they didn’t know sent fear pulsing through my body. I couldn’t shout to warn them of the danger, and so instead, I lifted my head and let out a howl so loud a picture fell from the wall across from me. The sound reverberated through the halls and up the stairs. I followed it, my paws barely touching the steps as I howled again.

  Students appeared from the rooms rubbing sleep from their eyes. Some who saw me backed up in fear, but others looked around.

  “Is that fire?” a boy with orange hair asked.

  “Something’s burning,” another said. “Is the school on fire?”

  “Fire!” another took up the call.

  Students joined me on my run up the stairs. Others dashed down, yelling to wake those who hadn’t heard my howl.

  “There’s fire! Get out!”

  Shouts filled the halls. Students ran into rooms, dragging out those who were still sleeping. Moments later, the fire alarms started.

  I reached the top floor far ahead of the students who followed. I paused at the top step and stared at the green flames that snaked along the ceiling. Green for fire would have been eerie enough, but the fire appeared truly alive. Instead of licking flames, green hands clawed forward, crawling along the ceiling and charring everything in their path. It was terrifying.

  Professor Briggs appeared at my side so abruptly I started. “What are you doing up here? Get outside!” he shouted above the roar of the clawing flames.

  The sound of a sob caught my ear. I had never been to the top floor before. It appeared to be made of hallways cluttered with old desks and relics stored away from the rest of the Academy. Nobody should have been there. I took a step forward.

  Briggs grabbed my furry shoulder. “Whoa. Wait. We need to get out of here.”

  I shrugged him off and trotted forward, keeping my head low in the face of the heat. A moment later, the professor’s hand rested on my back. He hunched as low as he could while both of us made our way toward the far end. I didn’t know what made him follow me, but when we turned the corner, the sight of students cowering from the flames made me grateful he was along.

  Two girls and a boy huddled against the far end of the hall, their wide eyes reflecting the green reaching tendrils overhead. They were young, barely old enough to go to the Academy. Tears streamed down both girls’ cheeks. The boy appeared to have been trying to comfort them, but he was obviously frightened.

  “I’ve got you,” Professor Briggs said.

  A roar sounded behind us. I looked back in time to see a huge pillar fall from the ceiling, barring our way. I looked around quickly. If we didn’t get the students out soon, the entire ceiling was going to collapse. There was only one way out I could see. I pulled my ears tight against my skull and ran for the window next to where the professor sheltered the children.

  “Finn, wait!” he called.

  I dove through the window and skittered on the slopping roof below. My claws found purchase on the shingles, stopping my descent. I crept warily back to the window as Professor Briggs helped the children out. The girls apparently decided the fire was scarier than the big wolf, because they clung tightly to my fur. As soon as Briggs lowered the boy from the window, he did the same. Careful to ensure that one paw was steady before I moved any of the others, I made my way across the pinnacle of the roof.

  “That’s it,” Briggs said, his voice low and steady as he followed behind. “We’re almost there. Keep ahold of Finn. Just like that.”

  When we reached the next slopping roof, I jumped down, slid nearly to the edge, and managed to catch myself just before plummeting over. A brief glimpse of the ground below showed the New York City alleys surrounding the school. The drop wouldn’t have been a pleasant one. I couldn’t understand where the forest had gone, but now wasn’t the time to figure it out.

  “One step at a time,” the professor called out. “We’re almost there.”

  I was nearly to where he and the children waited when my claws lost their purchase. I scrambled to find my grip, but slid quickly to the edge. My heart thundered in my throat. I slipped halfway over the edge. I couldn’t find a way to hold on in my wolf form. I was about to plummet to the ground when a hand grabbed the ruff of my neck in a tight grip. I looked up into a dark face that could have been carved from stone for all the emotion the man showed.

  “Don’t claw me when I pull you up, wolf,” he growled.

  I was careful to keep my claws in check despite the pain of being yanked back onto the
roof by my fur. I reminded myself as I stood there panting and fighting to catch my breath that I was lucky not to be a part of the pavement below.

  “Don’t just stand there,” he said, his voice rough.

  I followed him gingerly back to the far edge of the roof. Several others were busy helping Professor Briggs get the children down to a fire escape. Behind me, others stood on the roof that should have burned through by now given the ferocity of the fire I had seen. Yet the roof appeared intact and by the smell, smoke instead of flame remained.

  “Mr. Briscoe, come this way.”

  I turned to see Professor Mellon waiting by the fire escape. Her long red hair had been bound up in a green and white wrap and she wore a robe that caught in the early morning breeze.

  “That’s it,” she said, her voice calming. “You’ve done all you can. It’s our turn now.”

  I padded carefully to where she waited. Far beneath us, the students of the Academy were being ushered from the courtyard back into the school. I wondered where the fire engines were. It seemed strange that none had appeared when the alarm sounded.

  “You must be exhausted,” Professor Mellon said, her gaze filled with compassion. “It’s time to go back to your room and sleep.”

  I followed her down the winding iron staircase to the ground in time to see the last of the students go inside. She held the door open, but I hesitated. I wasn’t sure entering in wolf form was a good idea given what I had learned about my uncle.

  “Come on now,” she urged. “You can change form in your room. I’m sure you’re ready to sleep and I need to go back and help.”

  I figured waiting around in the courtyard for the moon to release its hold wasn’t the best idea; running naked after phasing back to human form was probably worse than entering as a wolf. I pushed down my reserves and padded up the stairs.

  “You saved more than just a fox today,” Professor Mellon said. She winked at me with a proud smile before she let the door shut.

  I made my way slowly up the stairs. The third floor felt much further away than I wanted to travel. Apparently getting beaten nearly to death, being healed by moonlight and several students, then running at top speed through the forest and into the hallways to warn the residence of the Academy about the fire had left me little to draw upon for strength. Even my ribs betrayed me by aching by the time I stopped in front of C33, the room I shared with Alden.

  With no other way to open the door, I was forced to scratch on the wood like a dog. I couldn’t say why the action rankled my pride. I hadn’t been a wolf for very long; all I knew was that I fought to hold onto whatever dignity remained to me. Fortunately, Alden opened the door almost immediately as though he had been waiting for the sound.

  “I thought you weren’t coming back,” he said when I padded into the room. “I heard one of the vampires say something about beating the weremutt, sorry for the term, within an inch of his life. But I knew you weren’t dead because, well, Grim.” He pointed to his chest with an uncomfortable smile. “I guess it’s good for something.”

  My eyes locked on the suitcase and other luggage I had brought from home.

  “Oh, yeah,” Alden said. “Someone dropped that off during school hours. I thought you’d be happy to have your things back.”

  I felt the pull in my bones that meant my body was ready to phase back to human form. I guessed the process was going to be even more painful given my sore body, and I didn’t want to do it in front of Alden. Unable to say so, I crossed to my belongings and sat down next to the bed. The scent of home wafted from the luggage. My heart squeezed painfully at the thought of all I had left behind.

  “I, uh, you need me to leave,” Alden guessed.

  I snorted.

  He grinned. “See? You can tell Professor Mellon I’ve been paying attention in Creature Languages. She should be giving me an A instead of a C minus.”

  When he merely smiled at me with the proud expression on his face, I was left to snort again.

  “Oh, right,” he said. “I can take a hint.” He grabbed a book from his bed. “Just in case it takes a while. I don’t really know how these things work,” he said before he ducked out the door.

  I wondered how he would feel if he knew I was in the same boat. I padded to the window and stared out. Silver showed beyond the buildings that surrounded the school. Professor Mellon was right. It had been a very long night.

  I turned slowly, aware that I was stalling. With Alden waiting outside, I couldn’t put off phasing any longer. Afraid of what was about to come, I lowered my head and willed the wolf form to let go.

  The pain dropped me to the ground. I felt every agonizing shift of my bones and muscles, each strain of bruised and broken flesh that was still trying to heal. I was glad I hadn’t been aware during the first phase of the night, because it felt like those places that hadn’t healed were reinjured with phasing so quickly.

  By the time I was done, I lay curled around my stomach and panting on the bare floor. Sweat made my skin gleam stickily. I rose on shaky limbs and reached for the first suitcase. Unzipping it, I managed to find a pair of black pajama pants and a white tee shirt. A glance in the mirror by Alden’s bed showed dark bruises along my back and chest. I wondered how much worse they would be if Lyris hadn’t helped me. I pulled the tee shirt down just as a knock sounded on the door.

  “Can I come in?” Alden asked. “I can wait out here longer, but I thought I would check just in case you needed—”

  “You can come in,” I replied.

  He pushed the door open and waved his book. “You really should read this. It’s about the witches of Massa…you look horrible.”

  Another glance in the mirror showed the same bruises that covered my back also darkened my face. At least the swelling around my eyes was gone, but the dark circles beneath them were unmistakable.

  “It’s been a crazy day,” I told him. “I have somewhere I need to go.”

  “Now?” he asked in surprise.

  “Now,” I replied.

  “But it’s almost dawn and you look like you shouldn’t even be moving,” he protested.

  I pulled my shoes on and reached for the door.

  Alden surprised me by saying, “I’m coming with you.” Before I could protest, he was out in the hallway waiting for me.

  While I couldn’t think of a reason he should come along, it was a nice thought not to venture out in the halls alone. The fear of running into Vicken’s coven before I was fully healed remained forefront in my mind.

  “Alright,” I agreed. I caught one last glance of my luggage before I pulled the door shut. For some reason, the sight of my belongings from home settled me. It felt as if I had a place to be in such an insane school.

  Alden followed me up the stairs. I had to give him credit for his nearly silent footsteps. His white hair seemed to glow beneath the dim lighting of the staircase. The deep breathing and occasional mutters of sleeping students met my ears at each floor we climbed. I would have thought the fire a dream if the smell of it didn’t linger in my nose, drawing us upward.

  “I thought we weren’t supposed to be up here,” Alden whispered.

  “Because of the fire?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “It’s been a rule ever since I came here. Nobody goes to the thirteenth floor.”

  I glanced at him. “Did they say why?”

  He shook his head again with trepidation in his eyes.

  “Well,” I said, continuing up. “They forgot to tell me that when I got here. Let’s just say you didn’t mention it.”

  When we reached the top floor, I stopped and stared. Though there was a lingering, sulfuric scent in the air, the fire and any sign that it had been there was completely gone. I closed my eyes, seeing the way the paint along the ceiling had boiled and the wallpaper peeled beneath the green clawing flames. The ceiling beams had been black and cracking. I couldn’t even see the beam that had driven me out the window at the end. I walked slowly down the hall with Al
den behind me, his breath loud in the silence of the thirteenth floor. I turned the corner.

  “No way,” I breathed. I ran down the hall.

  “Finn, wait!” Alden called.

  I skidded to a stop next to the window. The pane was intact, the glass whole as if I had never crashed through it.

  “That can’t be,” I said. I couldn’t understand what was happening.

  “What can’t be?” Alden asked.

  I put a hand on the pane. “I broke through this glass during the fire. Professor Briggs was with me. We rescued three students. The entire ceiling was on fire, and now there’s no sign of it. That was less than an hour ago.” I shook my head. “It doesn’t make any sense. I feel like I’m going crazy.”

  Alden stooped and picked up something that had been lodged between the carpet and the wall. He held up it to the light. It was a shard of glass.

  “Maybe you aren’t going crazy.”

  I took the piece of glass as if it was a lifeline. “This whole floor was on fire,” I said quietly, staring at the shard. “The heat was beating down on us. I felt like my fur was burning. Professor Briggs appeared from out of nowhere.” The words made me remember why I had gone back up there in the first place. I glanced at Alden. “He wasn’t even winded. You’d think if someone had run all the way up the stairs that quickly, he would have been gasping for air. He came from somewhere else.”

  “A hidden door?” Alden guessed, his eyes wide.

  “I think so,” I replied. “I need to find it. I’ve got to get to the bottom of this before I really go insane.”

  Chapter Ten

  “You should be a wolf for this.”

  I glanced at Alden in surprise. He was busy running his hands along the walls near the stairs, checking for cracks.

  “Why’s that?”

  “Your nose should be better. You could smell the air coming through or his trail or something.”