Texas Blues

by Ashley Quinn

  London crossed her arms. “It was actually my mother who taught me to be gracious when I was growing up,” she interjected coolly.

  Tiffany looked away. “Wayne is different from the rest of his family,” she went on after a beat. “He’s a kind person and a gentleman. Even though we only dated for a few months of our junior year, he’s probably the best boyfriend I’ve had.”

  London sighed and sat back down. “If that’s so, then remind me why can’t we call this a date?”

  Tiffany groaned again. “He’s so...so...Texas,” she replied. “He, like, holds doors open for me and refuses to let me pay for anything, even though we’re just friends. He has three horses on his family’s vacation ranch in Hill Country, but he’s especially attached to the one he learned to ride when he was nine. He has this stupid Southern accent and just finished his Bachelor’s at Southern Methodist. He wants to go to law school and have his own practice.”

  London shook her head in confusion. “Am I missing something? Are any of those things supposed to be bad?”

  “I’ll never sit around and be some Real Dallas Housewife,” Tiffany went on. “I won’t be like my mother. Wayne has probably never been to Africa unless it was on some luxury safari.”

  London hid a smile. “Maybe you don’t have to be exactly the same for something to work out. If you like him and he’s good to you, focus on that instead of all the why nots.”

  Briefly, her mind flashed to Natalie Silva. They had fallen into the habit of talking briefly each night before bed and it was becoming harder for London to ignore her attraction to the other woman. I can’t help but want to be around her.

  “It’s just lunch,” Tiffany replied. “Maybe the Perot Museum afterwards. What time is Natalie coming over?”

  London chewed the inside of her cheek and glanced at the time displayed on the microwave. “Soon.”

  Tiffany smirked. “You’re nervous. Especially to hang out with, you know, a friend.”

  London stood and gathered her plate and glass. “You don’t know...”

  “Anyone with half a brain would see that you’re nervous!” Tiffany said as she threw her head back and laughed. “You’ll be fine. Natalie seems very cool. She’s really pretty and nice. If you’re that anxious, I’m sure I could scrounge up some Xanax somewhere...”

  London glanced at her sister and realized she was completely serious. “I’ll manage, thanks,” she replied slowly.

  Tiffany shrugged and slung her mini-backpack over her shoulder. “If you say so,” she went on. “Personally, I don’t know how anyone can manage without any happy pills. I’ll catch you later.”

  London was momentarily dumbfounded as she listened to the front door shut behind Tiffany. Okay, then she thought. Maybe this is bigger than I thought. What do I do about that?

  She was distracted as her phone dinged with an incoming text message. She glanced at the screen and a bolt of excitement raced down her spine as she skimmed over Natalie’s words.

  Be there in 20. Can’t wait to see you.

  ---

  As soon as the doorbell rang, London sprang from the couch and shakily ran a hand through her hair. Okay, maybe Tiffany was right she realized. I am nervous.

  She strode to the door and tried to smooth her shirt as an unfamiliar knot of nerves chewed her stomach. I can’t remember the last time I felt nerves like this London thought. She spotted Natalie’s head through panes of stained glass along the top of the double French doors. Focus she reminded herself. Natalie is a friend. A new companion, who was kind enough to let me tag along on her food truck and introduce me to Texas. After I insulted her.

  London opened the door and was immediately taken with Natalie’s wide, sunny smile. There was something genuine in the way she looked at her and London realized she liked it a lot. It’s almost like she can see past the layers and the bullshit she thought admirably. It’s like she can see me.

  “It’s good to see you,” London greeted her warmly. She held out her arms and expected Natalie to hand her the light sweater she carried. Instead, she stepped into her arms and hugged her.

  “Good to see you too,” Natalie replied. Her voice was inches from her ear and London closed her eyes. She’s a friend she repeated to herself silently. A friend.

  “So what are you up for today, London?” Natalie asked. “Stay close or explore more of Texas?”

  Focus London thought. She was struck with memories of how badly she had wanted to kiss Natalie on the park bench and how it had seemed, for one tantalizingly short moment, that they might.

  “I wasn’t sure,” she replied. They walked into the living room and London plopped onto the couch, tucking her legs to one side. “We could hang out by the pool. Or go for a walk if it’s not too hot for you.”

  “Too hot for me?” Natalie laughed. “I think I’m immune to this heat by now. You’re the one I’m worried about.” She paused and her eyes lit up. “We could take a walk by that duck pond in the neighborhood. It looked like there were some big shade trees around there.”

  “There’s a pond here?” London asked.

  “Just to the left when you enter through the gates,” Natalie replied. “You haven’t seen it?”

  London blushed and shook her head. “I guess my mind has been all over the place since I’ve been here.”

  Natalie smiled and gently rested her hand on her forearm. “That’s okay,” she responded. “I get the feeling you’ve been a little preoccupied.”

  London shot her a shy half-smile. “I get that feeling that you’re right,” she replied wryly. “I’m sorry, would you like something to drink? I don’t know where my manners are.”

  Natalie shook her head. “No, thank you. That’s what we’ll do today then,” she went on. “Take some time to smell the roses. Hang out and enjoy the little things. Relax by the duck pond and hope we don’t get attacked by some fierce momma geese.”

  Natalie laughed and London found herself giggling along with her. If I were in Chicago right now, I’d be sitting at the office she thought. Trying to tune out silly gossip, on my third coffee and editing more website content. For some reason, the thought of sitting pond-side with Natalie seemed far preferable than the fast-paced, hard-nosed bustle of W.H. Young.

  “Duck pond it is,” London agreed. “Is that how you keep your sanity? Taking time out to enjoy the small stuff?”

  Natalie shrugged as they walked through the front door and fell into step together. “I don’t know if I’d want a job that had me constantly fighting to keep my sanity,” she replied honestly. “If you have to spend so much of your life working, then you might as well make it something you enjoy. The bakery has never felt like work, though it definitely has been.”

  London glanced at her. “It keeps you pretty busy?”

  Natalie laughed. “That’s an understatement,” she replied. “The bakery has been my life for years. We got the food truck about a year and a half ago and it has caused business to skyrocket. It’s a great concept, being able to connect with people and bring your products to places outside the community.”

  “It sounds like you’re very passionate about your business,” London commented. “That can be hard to find.”

  Natalie shrugged. “It’s our business,” she said simply. “Mine, my tia Celia’s and my tia Jane’s. If it wasn’t for them, Mission Bakery wouldn’t exist. We’ve all dedicated ourselves to it and built the business together.”

  London felt Natalie studying her as they rounded a corner near the front of the community.

  “And you?” She prodded. “Your career won’t be hurt by this hiatus?”

  London shook her head. “My best friend Holly also happens to be my immediate manager. She was the one who really pushed me to take this break and refocus.”

  That’s strange London thought. I really don’t even want to mention the promotion. For all the times I could brag about my credentials or the success of W.H. Young, it’s not something I care to talk about. Somehow, she f
elt it was something Natalie wouldn’t be particularly wowed by either.

  “Sounds like a good friend,” Natalie replied. “Good manager too.”

  “She’s the only one that’s really been there for me,” London went on offhandedly. “I guess you could say Holly is sort of a big sister figure. We’ve always been close, but after my mom got sick and then the aftermath...” London paused and sighed.

  I also don’t care to talk about Kayley and Tara she thought. They’re part of my past. Not my present or future. I’d rather continue getting to know Natalie Silva than wasting the day complaining about how they wronged me.

  Natalie laid her hand on her arm. “It’s okay.”

  London shook her head. “Sorry, I...” she took a deep breath and smiled. “I was just thinking how much more I’m enjoying getting to know you than lamenting about my past. Anyway, I think I would have gone crazy in that city if it wasn’t for Holly’s support.”

  “You’re strong,” Natalie replied as they walked past a wide cul-de-sac.

  London shoved her hands into her pockets. “I think you’re giving me too much credit,” she admitted. Just be real she decided. It is what it is. “Trying to work my way through everything at once broke me.”

  Natalie stopped short. London took a few steps and then turned in question. “You’re still here, aren’t you?” She asked. London paused to ponder this as Natalie nodded. “You’re strong.”

  They walked in companionable silence for a few moments as they approached a grassy hill. London studied Natalie out of the corner of her eye and let herself wonder for a moment what it would be like to hold her hand. I could casually slip my fingers between hers she thought as her gaze fell to her tanned arms.

  London recalled Natalie’s words and smiled to herself. I wonder what it would be like to come home to a woman like her every evening.

  “Here it is!” Natalie’s voice interrupted her thoughts. She pointed over the hill.

  London tipped her sunglasses over her nose and raised an eyebrow. “Holy...” she shook her head and laughed. “I had no idea this was here.”

  The oval-shaped pond was filled with clear blue water and lined with square beige bricks. A wide sidewalk looped around the pond and a few benches were scattered in the grass beyond. Several ducks floated along the water and a few splashed at the east edge of near of drainage pipe.

  “How about that one?” Natalie nodded at a mature tree with a thick trunk. It stood at the foot of the pond. Its long branches provided a square of shade about three feet wide.

  “Perfect,” London confirmed with a nod.

  They settled onto the grass in the patch of shade. London rested against the trunk and stole a glance at Natalie from behind her sunglasses. She subtly shifted closer as a splash from the pond grabbed her attention. They laughed as two ducks quacked loudly. London pulled out her phone and quickly zoomed in with the camera. She snapped a photo just as one of the ducks spread its wings and let out another indignant noise.

  “What do you think they’re fighting over?” London asked in amusement. She quickly tapped a button to upload the photo to Instagram. Glancing at Natalie, she stilled as the other woman held her gaze.

  After a long moment, Natalie reached with both hands and gently slid her sunglasses from her face. London blinked in the sudden sunlight.

  “Don’t hide your eyes,” she spoke with a soft grin. “They’re beautiful.”

  A breeze ruffled the back of London’s shirt, causing a shiver to snake up her spine. Or maybe it’s the way Natalie is looking at me she thought.

  There was something about the feeling of Natalie near her, the thought of her closer to to her than anyone had been before, that both thrilled and terrified London. “Come here,” she murmured. She stretched her legs so Natalie could sit between them.

  London took a deep breath as Natalie’s back relaxed into her front. They rested against the sturdy tree and watched the ducks for a few moments. She smells like lavender and...just the faintest hint of sugar she thought as she inhaled deeply. London gently wound her arms around Natalie’s middle and relished the feeling of simply holding someone.

  “Tell me something about you,” Natalie spoke up. “Something no one else knows.”

  London took a deep breath and thought. She wasn’t sure if it was the quiet of the duck pond or the strange feeling that holding Natalie was right, but she felt a guarded layer of herself begin to fall away. “I really hope that being here helps rekindle my relationship with my dad.” She hadn't realized how true it was until she spoke. “My dad was absent from my life for so long. I grew up feeling like an impulsive college mistake, but one that he couldn’t exactly cover up. I felt like an inconvenience. The unfortunate result of an idealistic but immature relationship by a couple of happy-go-lucky college kids.”

  Natalie twisted in her arms and squinted at her in the bright sunlight. “Do you realize you just called yourself a mistake, an inconvenience and an unfortunate result?”

  London opened and then closed her mouth. “I mean, that’s how I felt...”

  “You’re too good to think that way,” Natalie replied honestly. “Don't say those things about yourself again.”

  London felt a surge of unexpected emotion and rested the tip of her nose and her lips against the back of Natalie’s head for a moment. “Deal.”

  “You’re scared that you and your dad won’t know each other?” Natalie asked.

  “Something like that,” London continued. “I got used to being discarded by him and eventually wrote him off as a father. During the last year, he’s been making a concerted effort to be part of my life. At first, it made me angry because I didn’t understand it. Why now? Because my mother passed away and he has years of guilt stored? Because he and his second wife divorced and he’s scared to be alone? Or maybe because he dedicated his life to Foster Oil & Gas and steered clear of any interpersonal relationships...”

  “Maybe all of the above,” Natalie replied. She sat up. “Wait, did you say Foster Oil & Gas? As in...”

  London closed her eyes slowly. Shit. “Yes,” she answered with a sigh. “As in, the company belongs to my father’s family. He’s the Chairman now, but has mentioned retirement more than a few times. It’s his younger brother and his three kids that hold the main leadership posts nowadays.”

  “He wants to know you, London,” Natalie replied after a moment. “Isn’t that good?”

  “Yes,” she responded. “At first, I couldn’t get past the whole why now aspect of it. I gave him hell. I wanted him to know I was raised without him and I’m well. My mother was a successful woman in her own right. She ran a special needs high school in Chicago and loved it. I needed him to know I was doing fine without him or the company.”

  “Understandable first reaction,” Natalie agreed. “But once you got past that...”

  “I realized I was curious too,” London went on. “I want to know Tiffany. I want to understand him not just as a parent, but as a human being. Besides, he tends to keep people at arms’ length. I know how difficult it must have been to open the lines of communication.”

  “He must have really wanted this, if he continued to contact you after you rebuffed him,” Natalie chimed in.

  “I got lost,” London sighed. “Really lost. Then the Universe aligned in some strange way. My boss basically demanded that I take time off, my dad wouldn’t give up on me and now I’m here.”

  Natalie smiled. “Do you believe the Universe works for a reason? That when you eventually look back that you’ll understand why it happened the way it did?”

  “I’d like to think so,” London replied honestly. “Do you?”

  “I know so,” Natalie replied confidently. “Trust me on this.”

  “Okay,” London murmured. She realized that she did, in fact, trust Natalie. “Your turn. Tell me something about you that no one else knows.”

  Natalie was quiet for a moment. “I haven’t told anyone this,” she started hesitantly
. “But I want us to be open and honest with each other, especially since you were with me just now.”

  “I want to know everything that you’re willing to share with me,” London replied with a smile.

  Natalie squeezed her fingers and took a deep breath. “I know it’s probably not true, but I’ve always had a sliver of paranoia that the reason my parents gave me to Celia and Jane is because I’m gay.”

  London wrinkled her nose and wrapped her arms tighter around Natalie. “You were so young!” She exclaimed. “They couldn’t have known. Even if they did, do you really think they’d leave you because of it?”

  “I don’t think so,” Natalie said with a shrug. “I know times were hard for them and they felt guilty about moving around so much with me in tow. They wanted me to have roots somewhere and be able to make friends at school.”

  “Of course,” London replied. “Every parent wants to ensure that their child succeeds.”

  “I was twelve,” Natalie went on. “It was an awkward age. I was figuring out what being gay meant and realizing why I always felt so different from other girls. I had been having a sleepover with one of my friends and my parents were due to pick me up. It was the first time I realized what attraction was and I had the sense that she felt the same way.”

  London had a feeling that she knew where this was going. “So you two acted on it?”

  “We were kids,” Natalie replied. “Her parents were very religious and, back then, so were mine. In small towns like that, churches and taverns are the only social spots and, well, you’ll quickly get a reputation if you spend too much time at the latter. When I was young, we spent a lot of time at church. On this particular day, my friend and I were in the backyard and began kissing.”

  “Uh-oh...” London murmured.

  “Yup,” Natalie confirmed. “It was great because suddenly everything clicked and made sense. We had been kissing in the backyard for so long that we didn’t realize my parents had arrived. Her parents took them to the backyard and, imagine their shock, found us making out instead of playing.”