Texas Blues

by Ashley Quinn

  Natalie took the first few steps slowly and held London’s eyes for a moment. Her pace quickened and fell in line with the music as her steps became sure and measured. London couldn’t take her eyes away from her.

  Never in my life did I think line dancing could be sexy she thought with a lopsided smile. The way that Natalie’s hips flared with each quarter-turn and the way she swayed with the beat had rapidly changed her mind.

  “But when she says baby, oh don’t matter what comes, ain’t goin’ nowhere, she runs her fingers through my hair and saves me...” the chorus of the song cut into London’s lascivious thoughts. “Yeah, that look in her eyes got me comin’ alive and driving me a good kind of crazy...When she says baby.”

  Guess he says it better than I could she thought as she realized the song wasn’t half-bad. It sure describes how I feel about Natalie, that’s for sure.

  She openly gazed at the other woman. Her eyes were closed as she grew lost in the song and her dark hair was loose down her back. Her long, tanned legs didn’t miss a single count. Natalie clapped her hands together once and took a few steps back and then to the left as her hips flared and swayed to the beat.

  Beauty London decided. This is beauty. She briefly recalled how she had thought Kayley was a beautiful woman because, by any standard definition, she was. She took countless hours getting her hair and make-up just right and spent way too much money on skin products and designer clothing. In fact, London couldn’t think of a single time that she had left the apartment without looking together and polished.

  But this... she thought as she was entranced in Natalie. A few passerby had joined her and they formed a straight line as they danced in time with the music. This is a different kind of beauty. Natalie’s brown eyes sparkled in the sun as she danced with abandon. She looked every bit the happy, free spirit.

  London pulled out her phone and smiled as she watched Natalie through the short video that began recording. This is raw beauty, genuine and real she realized. The kind that you can’t buy with all the Lancome and Louis Vuitton in the world.

  Natalie smiled and motioned for her to join them. London quickly shook her head as she pocketed her phone.

  “Come on,” Natalie called, not missing a beat. “You can do it, London.”

  “I don’t know how to dance to this,” she called back. “Not like you. I’ll look like a fool.”

  “Nonsense,” Natalie replied. “If you mess up, just try again.”

  “Ah, come on,” a middle-aged woman dancing next to Natalie chimed in. “We’re all just having fun.”

  London shook her head firmly. “I don’t...”

  “Hey, you only live once, right?” The woman called. She swayed into a quarter-turn and then her back was to them.

  London blinked as the stranger’s words sank in. Didn’t Mom always tell me that she didn’t want me to stop living because of her illness? She recalled. She didn’t want me to stop discovering or loving.

  She took a few tentative steps to the line that had expanded to nearly ten laughing, smiling dancers. But somehow, along the way, I ended up living like I was half-dead already. I thought it was easier to turn off my emotions and give myself no chance at feeling anything. But that’s not living, is it?

  Natalie jogged down the line to her and grabbed her hand. She smiled breathlessly. “Come on, it’s okay,” she reassured her. “I’ll show you.”

  London gingerly tried to follow Natalie’s slow, exaggerated steps. Pay attention a small voice in her mind piped up. She’s showing you more than just line dancing.

  The dance came easier after a minute or so of copying Natalie’s movements. London felt the butterflies stir in her stomach as Natalie rested her hands lightly on her hips to guide her through a turn. The line clapped once and then it was a quick one, two, three to the left and again to the right.

  They slid into the last step as the song wound down and the music faded. London threw back her head and laughed as the dancers that had joined Natalie dispersed amongst the small crowd.

  “That wasn’t so bad, right?” Natalie asked. “Now you can say that you’ve not only seen real line dancing, but you’ve learned it too.”

  London felt high from the excitement and adrenaline of doing something she had never done before. That. Was. Awesome. I can’t believe I just did that. I, London Foster, learned how to line dance. In public. Sometimes you have to throw pretenses to the side and go for it. Besides, I have a feeling that I’ll always have a soft spot for country music now she decided in her rapid-fire thoughts.

  She paused, still reeling from the last few minutes, and grabbed Natalie’s hand. “Thank you.”

  Natalie searched her eyes and smiled. “For what?”

  “Thank you for making me feel alive again,” London finished simply. Natalie opened her mouth to reply, but London ducked her head shyly and instead pointed to the food tents.

  “Are you hungry?” She pressed quickly. Natalie closed her mouth and blinked at the abrupt change in subject. “I think I’ve actually worked up an appetite for brisket.”

  As they walked casually across the field of fine brown dirt, London noticed an ominous black cloud far over the horizon. She wondered briefly if it was headed their way.

  That doesn’t look promising she thought dubiously. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she quickly turned her attention to the incoming call. Great. It’s Holly.

  Her stomach did a nervous flip as she let the call go to voicemail. She knew exactly why her friend was calling and a text message less than thirty seconds later only confirmed it.

  Hey girl! I know you’re having a lot of fun in Texas with that mysterious brunette - Ha. I wanted to check in and find out if you’d had a chance to make your return arrangements to Chicago. I’d like to give the C.E.O. a target date for your return to W.H. Young. We’re so excited to officially have you promoted!

  London swallowed and re-read the text message two, three, four times until the tiny words blurred together. A wave of anxiety washed over her as she again wondered what exactly to do. An impending sense of dread crept low into her belly and worked its way up through her chest until a lump formed in her throat.

  No matter what, something big is going to happen. Something is going to change. I’ve already changed she thought nervously.

  She was so deep in thought that she didn’t realize Natalie had stopped short outside of a white food tent. London walked directly into her back and then jumped to the side.

  “Oh my God, I’m sorry!” She exclaimed. “Are you all right?”

  Natalie turned and touched London’s face affectionately. “Of course, don’t worry about it,” she replied and then peered at her closely. “Hey, are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  London wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse that Natalie could read her so easily. “Yes, sorry,” she replied. “My friend Holly texted me from Chicago. I was reading it when I walked into you.”

  “Is everything okay?” Natalie asked.

  Tell her everything, London she thought. Tell her about the promotion. Tell her how you don’t want to leave. You’re not ready to go back. Tell her how she’s the best thing that’s happened to you and you’re ready to take a chance. Tell her that you want to build something together, because you have the one thing you’ve been missing for so long and that’s faith. Faith that the two of you can be together. Tell her...Tell her that you meant what you said last night. That you love her.

  “I, uh...” London closed her eyes briefly. “Yeah, she was just checking in. Seeing how I’m doing.”

  She immediately wanted to kick herself as Natalie nodded in acknowledgement. They stepped up to a card table beneath the tent, the moment was gone and then London lost her nerve.

  “One barbecued brisket sandwich...” Natalie started and then paused. “You want one, right? Never mind, you have to get a sandwich too. It’s easily the best brisket in Texas.”

  London allowed a small smile. “Wel
l, if you say it’s the best...”

  Natalie nodded vigorously. “It is,” she confirmed. She turned her attention back to the high school student taking their order. “Make that two barbecued brisket sandwiches. And two bottles of water, please.”

  As the kid punched in their order, Natalie turned to London excitedly. “You’ll really like this sandwich,” she went on and then winked. “I love this brisket. Almost as much as I love spending time with you.”

  London felt her heart swell with pride, but Holly’s text lingered at the back of her mind uncertainly. She opened her mouth to respond, but a sliver of lightning split the sky above them in a bright burst of white. She jumped as a clap of thunder boomed strongly enough to shake the table before them.

  “I thought it didn’t rain much out here,” London commented. They carried their sandwiches and stepped around the tent.

  Natalie glanced pointedly at the south-facing sky. The horizon was nearly pitch-black and an unseasonably cool breeze blew across the grounds warningly. “It’s Texas, not the desert,” she replied with a laugh. “I guess we’re still catching the tail end of storm season. So how fast can you eat?”

  London raised an eyebrow and glanced again at the dark clouds swirling their way. “How long do I have?”

  Natalie bit her lip. “Maybe ten minutes?” She guessed. “This is Tornado Alley, so storms can blow in fast and strengthen quickly. We’d be better off leaving before it gets too bad.”

  London watched the wave of low-hanging black clouds for another moment. She sat on the edge of a picnic bench and bit into her sandwich decisively. “Okay,” she agreed. “Ten minutes it is. The calm before the storm.”

  CHAPTER 20

  Natalie licked the last drops of tangy barbecue sauce from her fingertips. A gust of wind blew their empty water bottles across the picnic table. The thin plastic clattered noisily over the thick wood as London jumped up to gather them.

  It seemed as though the impending storm had brought a strange electricity with it. It buzzed and crackled intangibly in the air as Natalie stole a glance at London.

  Something is different she noted silently. Something’s shifted between us, and I can’t put my finger on what. The energy between us has changed. Natalie couldn’t quite tell if the sudden, urgent shift in atmosphere was a good thing or bad. Her heartbeat increased as she caught London staring at her and then looking away quickly once she had been caught.

  Natalie glanced up as the sun seemed to fully disappear behind the wave of fast-moving dark clouds. The band had just finished packing their instruments at the back of the stage and streams of festival-goers hurried for their vehicles.

  “Maybe we should head back,” London spoke, filling the strangely heavy silence between them. “It’s going to pour any second.”

  Natalie nodded. “You’re right,” she agreed. They stood as another bolt of lightning lit the sky in warning. “Do you like storms, London?”

  London shrugged. “I guess I’ve never really thought much about them.”

  The invisible electricity crackled around them as another gust of wind nearly knocked them over. “You know, I love storms,” Natalie started. “One of my favorite things to do is sit on the porch with a glass of wine and watch the storms roll through.” She stole another glance at London. “I know it sounds crazy. Even my aunts think it’s crazy. There’s something so mesmerizing and beautiful about them though. It’s, like, this enchanting show that Mother Nature puts on you remind you who’s really boss. You can feel it so deeply with all of your senses. The sight of the lightning, the sound of the thunder and the wind, the feel of the raindrops against your skin. Have you ever really felt the rain against your skin?”

  London glanced cautiously at Natalie as they walked. “I have...” she started and then stopped short. “But I guess I haven’t.”

  Natalie was well aware that she sounded crazy, but she was wrought with a tickling sense of urgency and the strange gut feeling that she had to somehow get through to London. For some reason, as quickly as her guard went down, it shot right back up again Natalie thought. But there’s this change in energy, in atmosphere. I know she feels it too.

  “It’s cleansing,” Natalie continued, softer this time. “These storms come in, they shake everything up and the rain pours down in buckets. By the time it’s all over, everything is new. It feels like your little corner of the world has been rocked and then somehow, by the end of it, everything is calm. The sun returns and everything is cleansed and new again. It’s...amazing,” she finished.

  She paused for a moment and watched as London opened her mouth to respond. Just then, the skies opened up and rain beat down in sheets of cool, fat drops. They splattered across the grounds, into the dirt and against their faces and clothing.

  “Oh my God, it’s pouring!” London exclaimed. She turned her face to the sky, closed her eyes for a moment and grinned. “What now?”

  Natalie burst into laughter and grabbed her hand. “Now we run!”

  They jogged, arm-in-arm, through the rest of the fairgrounds and burst into giggles as they swiftly dodged mud puddles and slick patches of browned grass.

  It’s coming down hard Natalie thought. She wiped the back of her hand across her forehead. I knew it would be a big one. I feel like I’m walking through a shower.

  London laughed loudly as she hopped over a wide swath of mud. They tried their best to shake out their clothes and hair as they reached the truck.

  “Did I just walk through a waterfall or a thunderstorm?” London asked breathlessly.

  Natalie laughed and waved her hand. “Forget it,” she replied. “It’s a lost cause. Hop in. I’ll clean out the truck tomorrow.”

  A moment later, she backed the Ford F150 through a track of mud and headed for the house. As their giggles died down, only the steady sound of raindrops beating against the windows and the soft squeak of the wipers could be heard.

  You love her too. Realization hit Natalie like a sudden shock from the storm’s electric buzz. It felt as though there was an invisible live wire between them and it rocked Natalie’s awareness. Everything seemed to click and fall into place as she roughly pulled the truck up to the house. She could feel London’s strange glance and she knew she was wondering what exactly was going on in her head.

  Socked with the implications of her realization and filled with the same urgency that she had to get through to London, Natalie jumped out of the truck. She had to find out if she had truly meant what she’d muttered through sleep and satisfaction.

  London hastily followed and they stood in the pouring rain for an uncertain moment. A bolt of lightning streaked horizontally across the horizon.

  “Natalie, tell me what’s going on,” London pleaded. “Talk to me. You look like you have the world going through your head and something is...different. I can sense a change...”

  “London, it’s you,” Natalie blurted out. She took a deep breath. “I love you. I’m completely head over heels in love with you. I don’t want you to go back to Chicago. I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

  London’s mouth dropped open. She took a tentative step closer to her and it took all of Natalie’s willpower not to close the small gap between them. She could almost see the electricity crackling between them as an ear-splitting boom of thunder shook the ground.

  “I...I feel the same way, Natalie,” London replied breathlessly. “I feel for you what I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling. I’ve just...I’ve been through a lot, Natalie. I’m scared.”

  Natalie bit her lip. “Can’t you feel it between us, London?” She asked, not breaking their gaze. “Why is it so scary to say it back, when you’re facing me and looking into my eyes, if you feel it? You’re not the only one who’s scared. I’ve had my heart broken too. But you know deep in your heart that I wouldn’t hurt you.”

  London stared at her for a long, unwavering moment. She ran her fingertips across her face and along her jaw, as though she was trying to memoriz
e her face. “I fell for you, Natalie,” she murmured. “There’s no going back from there. Don’t you realize what that means for me?”

  Another rumble of thunder rattled the house’s old vinyl siding as the rain continued to soak through their clothes. “I know you try to keep everybody away,” Natalie replied. “Because in your experience, everyone eventually leaves. Trust me, London, I know how you feel. You stick to what’s safe because you’ve been burned badly in the past.”

  A sudden buzzing noise sounded and they both glanced in the direction of the source. London’s phone lit with the name “Holly” flashing across the small screen. She hit the Decline button sheepishly and opened her mouth to speak.

  Natalie took a deep breath. She needs to be out of her comfort zone she realized. Completely. I have to get under her skin and show her how to live in the moment, without overthinking everything. I want her to tell me how she feels. I want to hear her say she loves me too.

  “When was the last time you did something impulsive, London? Really?” Natalie asked, cutting her off before she could fill the silence. London searched her eyes.

  The pool she thought satisfactorily. Bingo.

  “Come on,” she said. “Let’s go to the pool.”

  London glanced at the backyard uncertainly. “Natalie, it’s pouring.”

  She turned and met her eyes. “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes, but...” London started.

  “Then come with me,” she continued. She took a few steps into the backyard and gestured for London to follow.

  The pool water rippled against the whistling wind. Small waves floated from the deep end of the small rectangular pool to the water that lapped against wide, built-in stairs at the other side.

  Now or never, Natalie she thought. She straightened her spine and walked to the edge of the deep end. If you can’t get through to her now, you never will.

  “Are you crazy?” London called. She had paused hesitantly just inside the backyard. “Don’t even think about it. Come inside.”

  Natalie shook her head. “When was the last time that you lived for the exact moment you’re in?” She called back. “And didn't get lost in anything else?”