D.O.R.K. Series Box Set

by Haley Allison

  Every muscle in my body tenses. “You called me your ‘crush’ on the red carpet. Not ‘the girl I like,’ not ‘my girlfriend,’ ‘my crush.’ You could have a million crushes. How the fuck was I supposed to know I meant something to you?”

  I stand from the bed and stomp over to look out across the balcony at their immaculate front yard through his sliding glass doors. Standing with my arms crossed, I hold myself rigid, not wanting to show him just how vulnerable I feel in this moment.

  I didn’t mean to blurt that explanation out. It just sort of crawled its way out of me. Now he knows I was hurt, and I don’t know what he’s going to do next.

  I hear him stand from the bed and sense his presence behind me a second later. “You wanted me to call you my girlfriend?”

  I shrug. “Something that proved I meant something to you. Anything. But that just wasn’t enough. I thought it was at the time, but I was lying to myself. When it comes to relationships, I have to know it’s serious.”

  Gio comes to my side. “Madness, back in July I had no idea whether you were even staying in Los Angeles or not.”

  I swallow forcefully. He would come back at my one logical argument with an equally logical answer.

  “I didn’t want to commit to someone if I didn’t even know where she’d be at the end of the summer,” he continues gently. “I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend as soon as you told me you were moving here.”

  Tears prick my eyes. I turn to face him. “You were?”

  Gio’s lips curve up in a regretful half-smile. “I had the whole evening planned out. We were going to go out on Papa’s yacht by ourselves. I was going to treat you to a five-course meal with dessert, and then we were going to kiss on the deck until sunset. In the moonlight, I was going to give you a diamond bracelet and ask you to be mia ragazza. I actually still have the one I bought for you. It was too nice to return.”

  Gio turns to hunt in his nearby dresser in the top drawer. I gasp when I see a long black velvet box hiding behind his socks. He grins at my surprise and brings the box over, opening it to reveal a gorgeous diamond line bracelet that looks as if it cost him a fortune.

  “Ho-ly shit,” I mutter. I resist the temptation to reach my fingers out and touch the gorgeous thing, knowing I don’t deserve it anymore. I glance up into his eyes, wondering if they or the bracelet are more mesmerizing. The sadness at knowing I could have had both and threw them away is almost more than I can take. “God, Gio…I totally misjudged you,” I whisper.

  Gio snaps the box shut and lays it on top of the dresser. He turns around and keeps my gaze with sincerity. “There’s something else you need to know. I wasn’t lying when I said she told me the relationship was fake. I can’t speak for whether it was real to her or not, but I do know what she told me. The proof is right there in my phone if you want me to show you.” He nods in the direction of his nightstand. I nod wordlessly and let him take my hand to lead me back to the bed.

  We sit down together and Gio releases my hand to open his phone. He goes to his photos, which are sparse, and finds a folder called “Screenshots.” Once he finds the one he’s looking for, he enlarges it and shows it to me. It’s a conversation with Dalton from last year.

  Gio: Man I need someone over here right now. I just got blindsided.

  Dalton: Whoa dude what happened? I’m at work. I can’t talk on the phone right now but I can text if it’s an emergency.

  Gio: Raven and I had a huge fight because she thought I was out with this girl the other night. I didn’t do anything wrong, but she wouldn’t believe me. Then she told me it doesn’t even matter because our relationship is fake. FAKE. I’ve been had.

  Dalton: What? Fake? How is that even possible?

  Gio: It was all for show, man. All for the media. She’s a damn con artist. I wanna sue her for every dime I ever spent on her.

  Dalton: You should! Hang on, dude, I’m gonna see if I can get off early. Don’t do anything dumb. I’m coming as soon as I can.

  Gio: Kk.

  “If you don’t believe me, Dalton has these same screenshots. He can show you—”

  “I believe you,” I whisper, still in shock. It’s the evidence I’ve been waiting for. Everything Gio told me was the truth. Raven straight-up lied to me, just like I feared all along.

  Gio and I turn to each other in the same moment, and I can’t miss the pleading in his eyes. He wants me, for real, and I’ve finally seen just how genuine and romantic he can be. He hesitantly reaches out and combs his fingers through my hair. Everything inside of me melts. I lean into his touch, surrendering for a brief moment. My gaze drops to his full lips and my tongue flicks out to lick my own. I now know without a shred of a doubt I still want him. A lot. Maybe even more than I want protection from Raven in this scary world of celebrity.

  “I’m so sorry, Gio,” I whisper hoarsely. We lean toward each other until our foreheads meet and the tip of his nose brushes mine. His lips are right within my reach. If I wasn’t so afraid right now, I could have him.

  Raven owns me now. If I take Gio now after everything we’ve been through, I’ll occupy the number one spot on her “To Destroy” list. Now that

  I know the kind of deception she’s willing to concoct, I’m more terrified than ever. She fooled Giovanni Abate into thinking he was in a relationship with her for three months. Exactly what is she capable of doing to me?

  My stomach churns. I lurch back in fear and stand to my feet.

  “I think I should go,” I choke out, feeling like my throat is clamped shut.

  Gio springs to his feet and grabs my hand.

  “Madness, don’t. At least let me take you to Santa Monica like I promised. I owe you a surfing lesson.”

  “Uh, I dunno…” I stagger back another step. “I just don’t think it’s safe.”

  His eyebrows furrow with concern. “What happened to Wonder Woman?”

  “Huh?”

  He squeezes my hand, shaking his head sadly.

  “The girl I used to know would never let someone dominate her like this. You’re letting Raven dictate your every move. That’s a terrible way to live. I…” He sighs and releases me. “I should stop. I don’t want you to think I’m ordering you around.”

  I’m letting Raven dictate my every move. She’s dominating me, controlling me. I’m just another one of her minions now. The horror that settles into me when I realize what I’ve done is overwhelming. I let one person turn my life upside down, just like I promised myself I would never do. I thought a guy would be the one to try that with me, but in a strange turn of events, I let my twin sister do that instead. What happened to me? Have I lost myself? Why am I so willing to cower in front of her and let her decide how I live?

  “You’re right,” I say. A steely resolve settles into me. Raven may think she has me conquered, but I’ve got plenty of fight left in me. She’s going to have to work a lot harder if she thinks she can con me into submission. “Let’s go to Santa Monica. That’s one choice she has absolutely no say in.”

  Cool salty spray assaults the tender skin of my face as I swim after Gio into the briny Pacific Ocean. He told me the first step to conditioning your body for surfing is to get good at swimming in the ocean, and since I haven’t had much experience with that, he decided he should toughen me up a little first. He’s already at least ten feet ahead of me. I thought I was decently in shape until I tried this. I’ve been doing okay in my P.E. class at Wilcox so far, but being out of breath after only a couple minutes of swimming through the force of the waves pushing back against me shows me I have a long way to go.

  “You okay back there?” he shouts over the crashing of the waves.

  I push myself to catch up with him, breathing heavily. “Yeah. This is tougher than I thought it would be.”

  “You’ll get used to it,” he assures me. He stretches out his hand over the water. “Here, grab onto my arm.”

  “I don’t want to pull you under,” I protest. “You won’t.”
Gio grabs my outstretched arm and I hold onto his forearm. He pulls me into him. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and hang on for dear life.

  “You sure there aren’t any sharks out here?” My chest buzzes with rapid blood flow and anxiety.

  Gio smoothes my hair back and kisses my temple.

  “Madness, look at me.” I meet his gaze, and he smiles warmly. “You’re fine. You’re doing great. Nothing’s going to hurt you.”

  I return his smile, feeling the draw of his magnetism like never before. “Okay.”

  He leans his head against mine again and I feel his throat shift as he swallows. “Dio, voglio baciarti.” “Hmm?” I close my eyes and lean in a little farther.

  “Come here.” He releases me and swims in the direction of the pier. I follow him, this time a little more smoothly and with less effort since we’re swimming with the current. He brings us both under the pier and checks the area for other people. There’s not a single soul in sight.

  “Duck underwater,” he instructs me. I cock an eyebrow.

  He chuckles. “Just do it.”

  I comply, and I feel him duck in front of me. I keep my eyes closed at first, but then something sweeps across my face, making my eyes pop wide open. I see Gio for a split second before his lips are on mine for the first time in two and a half months. I moan and lean into him for just a few seconds before popping up out of the water.

  I gasp for air and laugh nervously, swiping water away from my eyes. “You scared the hell out of me!” “I told you I wanted to kiss you,” he says.

  I wrap my arms around him again. “Do you even realize you’re speaking in Italian sometimes?”

  “Actually, it just kind of happens. Usually it’s when I’m feeling something really deeply and can’t express myself any other way.”

  “Aw…”

  I tangle my fingers in his wet ebony curls and lean

  in until our noses touch. He feels just as deeply for me as I do for him. I don’t want to keep my distance anymore. Raven doesn’t deserve my loyalty if she’s going to lie to me and treat me like a second-class citizen all the time. The least I could do for myself is kiss the guy of my dreams.

  I go in for the kiss, savoring his wet, warm lips when he presses them back with equal fervor against mine. He tastes my lower lip and I let him in, barely aware he’s moving us ever so slightly toward the shore. His feet touch to the sand underwater, and with his newfound stability, he careens his lips into mine with force he’s never used on me before. I love the passion behind this kiss. Our relationship just developed into something real. His vulnerability and care for me were his way of letting me all the way in.

  October 10

  Catch-Up Time

  I haven’t been writing in this diary lately because I got my Gio therapy back. Even with Raven staying here over the course of five days, my nights playing Battlefield with Gio got me through. He might as well be my boyfriend with how close we’re getting. Some of the conversations we have over text make me blush. He’s still the amazing guy I fell for over the summer and then some. It’s almost like we were never apart.

  Life at school has been kind of a drag except for Chorus. I never imagined how hard my senior year would be. I have five hours of homework most nights and an ass-load on the weekends too. Music and Gio are the only things keeping me sane right now.

  Raven has been a whiny bitch the entire time she’s been here, except her whine is more like a screech.

  “This bacon is overdone.”

  “I asked for poached eggs.”

  “I thought I told you I never drink anything with my breakfast other than cranberry juice.”

  Poor Dad never gets a moment’s peace. I caught him groaning and rolling his eyes on more than one occasion. I have to admit, it makes me feel good to see that. I’m pretty sure after the week we just had I’m still his favorite daughter. There were moments when I doubted on the family press tour since it seemed like they might be getting along too well, but now I know they were both just on their best behavior. Now Raven’s true, nasty colors are coming out, and Dad can’t stand it. I win.

  Two more days and I’ll never have to live in the same house as Raven again. I cannot wait for that freedom.

  The one good thing Raven did while she was here was plan the Halloween-slash-birthday party we’re having on Saturday, October 31. It’s going to be a costume party, of course, and I already know who I’m going as. It’s a certain comic book character that my almost-boyfriend would be very impressed by if Raven would let him go. That’s right, you guessed it— Wonder Woman.

  I’m going to take some special pictures in the costume just for him as a peace offering since I can’t invite him to my birthday party. I might even sneak over to his place after everyone’s gone. Unfortunately, because of Jess’s illness, Raven talked me into having the party over here, but as long as I see her drive away before I climb the wall, I think it should be all right.

  I haven’t decided yet if I’m going to make plans with Gio after the party or surprise him. Surprising him could be a lot of fun. I can’t wait to see the way his eyes light up when he sees me actually dressed as Wonder Woman. He’s going to think it’s his birthday instead of mine.

  Three weeks. I hope they go by fast. Turning eighteen means I’m finally a legal adult, which means technically Dad couldn’t prevent me from signing a record deal if we’re offered one before I graduate. Of course I’ll still wait just because I want to finish school, but having that little bit of power is somewhat freeing.

  Ttyl,

  Mads

  Early Sunday morning, Dad’s low-pitched, thundering rumble and Raven’s banshee wail combine from downstairs to create a comical alarm clock. I rub my eyes and snicker to myself as I rise to a sitting position. I sink back down into my mattress when I realize my bed is way too warm and soft to leave, even if I do smell something yummy cooking downstairs. Poor Dad, stuck with the ungrateful evil twin while his favorite twin selfishly snuggles into bed. I’m being a bad daughter right now and loving every second of it.

  My phone buzzes on my nightstand and I jump, thinking it’s Gio. Instead, I’m met with a message that boggles my brain.

  Dalton: Hey, did you do something to Logan’s girlfriend? She’s freaking out, and he thinks he might have to leave the band because of you.

  I reply as quickly as my fingers can type.

  Me: No way! I’ve never even met Claire. Why the hell would he have to leave the band because of me?

  Now the mystery of why he didn’t text me back last night is solved. I messaged him early in the evening about playing WoW and he never responded. I figured he was busy with Claire and didn’t bother him after the first message. I had no idea he was busy with Claire because of me.

  Dalton: I dunno, it’s some stupid jealousy thing. She thinks since he’s in a band with you and you’re playing games together, that means you’re screwing around behind the scenes.

  Me: Hell no we’re not! I’m seeing someone else.

  Something burns in my chest. Disappointment, embarrassment…I can’t pinpoint the feeling. I was really hoping Gio would have at least told his best friend about us. I told Ana we were hanging out again as soon as it happened. Does Gio not even trust Dalton with this news?

  Dalton: Oh, okay. That’s good. I’ll let him know. Maybe that will get Claire off his back.

  Me: Good idea.

  I lock the phone and lay it down on the crisp white sheet beside me. My head spins trying to figure out why a girl I’ve never met would be jealous of her boyfriend playing games with me. We’re just friends. Yeah, I had an attraction to him, but I would never try to steal someone else’s boyfriend. I guess maybe she’s seen the headlines about me being a wild girl and believes them. That’s the only explanation.

  I roll over and swipe my palms down my face, letting them roll my dry lower lip down and sling it back up with a smack. I’ve really got to do something about this false reputation.

  Maybe I s
hould have let Gio out me as a virgin after all.

  I search for Logan’s contact and tap on the Call icon. When he answers after three rings, his voice is low and full of morning gravel.

  “Hey…Mads?”

  “Hey, Logan. Listen, Dalton texted me—”

  “Aw, great,” he sighs. I hear him groan as he struggles to a sitting position. “I’m really sorry about that. He shouldn’t have bothered you. Claire is just being…well, Claire.”

  “No, I’m sorry. I had no idea I was causing you relationship problems. If we need to stop gaming together, I totally understand—”

  “No!” He clears his throat, seemingly as surprised as I am by the outburst. “I mean, I really like playing with you. I’m not going to let her tell me who I can and can’t be friends with.”

  “But she’s your girlfriend. If it bothers her—” “She can learn to deal. You and I are going to be together a lot whether she likes it or not if this band takes off like we think it will.”

  I shrug. He makes a good point.

  “Plus gaming with you is a stress reliever I really need right now. I missed it last night.”

  “Yeah, me too,” I admit with a touch of guilt. I played Battlefield with Gio last night and still missed playing WoW with Logan. It’s nice playing with someone I don’t have to carry.

  “Don’t worry about me, all right? I’m a big boy. I promise I won’t let Claire make me leave the band.”

  “Well, all right. Keep me posted, okay?” “Will do. Thanks, Mads. You’re amazing.” I smile, warmth filling me from the belly up.

  “Thanks, you are too. Talk to you soon.”

  “Okay, see ya.”

  “Bye.”

  I hang up, still smiling at the phone for some reason.

  October 11

  Confused

  I always used to roll my eyes at girls who had feelings for more than one guy. It seemed fickle and unfaithful to me. I thought, “Pick one and stick with him. Get over yourself.”